Now I have not asked her permission, so I am not going to do the whole re-blog thing. I just wanted to mention that I am falling in love with the poetry I read from a blogger I recently started to follow. This is was the poem I read in my WP Reader this morning:
https://whiteravennet.wordpress.com/2019/09/25/everything-poetry/
I am going out tonight! Only for a drive. I am the passenger, not the driver. I don’t know where we are going. I will tell you all about it another time. For now I just wanted to think out loud for a few moments. (I think that’s what a lot of us are doing with our blogging/writing anyhow, so I am hoping you will oblige me.)
I published a post last night about how I had a little bit of a telling off for being overly exuberant. I really appreciate all the lovely comments I received. My “superiors”, the people in charge of the project I was working on, were perfectly appropriate in what they pointed out to me, and they made sure that I could not take their observations the wrong way. They were very very kind and complimentary about me as a person.
The only reason I mention this is that I was thinking about MISTAKES. We make mistakes, or misjudgments, we misunderstand, we miscommunicate, we miss the bus and we are late for work. But we get over it, we bounce back, we move on. We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and carry on along the way. Hopefully, not too much damage has been done, but we do what we can to straighten things out and we learn a lesson, trying to avoid the same mistake again.
When I was a younger, I used to feel really upset if I had a telling off, it used to really knock my confidence. But nowadays, I am better at telling myself just to take the helpful advice and not let the correction crush my little old heart. But it takes a little while…for a day or two I am a tiny bit bruised, but I look at the person who corrected me with love. They love me enough to help me to see that I am causing calamity or problems that I may not have been aware of. There are plenty of times, I am so glad that someone pointed something out to me early enough to save me embarrassment and humiliation.
Now…as the title of this post makes clear, I am not going to be introducing politics onto this site. I stay neutral. I am not going to be taking sides with any parties or issues. I am way above anything as trivial as politics – haha! Just added that last sentence for effect. Don’t all jump on me now!
But I was watching the BBC news at lunchtime, and it put the whole subject of mistakes, particularly mistakes at work, into perspective. Can you imagine having one of the most public, publicised and painful jobs in the country (ie being the prime minister), and being told by the Supreme Court “you did something bad!” That makes my mistake at work fade into inconsequence!
I am not political at all, so please don’t think I am trying to make any political statement here. I am just thinking about mistakes, coming to terms with them, accepting correction and moving on. But for anyone, and I mean anyone, who is constantly scrutinised and criticised…oh I just can’t imagine it. It must be a living nightmare! You must have to have skin thicker than an armadillo’s! or an avocado’s skin – all green and lumpy too.
I am going to get over my mistake so much more quickly. I can see myself bouncing into work gleefully tomorrow (but with a little more restraint and self-control) without feeling even a tiny bit sullen. My mistake will be forgotten, it will not be in any history books, it will not be analysed by media corporations and brought up time and time and time again in my workplace.
I am not political at all – but I will say this, I am sooooooooooo glad I have a nice job. And really nice colleagues and lovely lovely superiors who really like me and just want me to succeed.
If you are a man and you are reading this, please don’t take offense…but sometimes men can be hilarious. Hilarious when it comes to communicating their feelings, expressing their emotions. Not all men. And then there are the charmers, who I am always a bit wary of. But I have had experiences with men who mumble and mutter and fudge their attempt to admit they have a soft spot for….well me. I am not referring to an enormous list. Just a small select few.
It matters not how you say it, just say it! Spit it out! He found a way to try to say it to me…and I honestly felt as if I was in the car with a teenager! But it was sweet. And what matters most is that it was greatly appreciated and in some ways it was just the best news I have heard in living memory! I wish he had communicated it long long ago. Well, he did try, but it came at a very bad time. And it seemed to evapourate quickly. Oh dear, we have so much talking to do.
How did he say it? He played a song…he was tapping around on his phone and then it started to play out of the car speakers. He was quiet, I was quiet. He looked at me, I looked at him. And out hands met on the gear-stick in his car. It’s a start! He is not a charmer, he never was a charmer. He bumbles expressing his emotions. But it matters not…he found a way to say it…and it was adorable!
The last time he said those words to me was six years ago. I remember it very well. I even wrote a post about it. I wrote a whole series of posts about what happened during the week afterwards and why the words seemed so hollow back then. He didn’t actually say the words outloud today…but the song…and the kisses…they made it all quite clear. Six years! This time, I hope nothing ruins this.
I am a good girl you know. I really really am. But occasionally I get myself into trouble. The problem is I am a lively little bundle of energy. I become over-excitable at times, over eager. I go above and beyond in every task asked of me. And damn…do I like to make an entrance!
Sooooooo…I got told off about something I completely bumbled recently, due to my exuberance and eagerness to help. But the telling off was so sweet…they love me. They love my energy and enthusiasm, I just need to learn to reign it in!
I felt like a little girl getting a telling off at first, I know I was full of adrenaline and was going for it that day…oblivious to the chaos left in my wake! But they were so kind and so complimentary when they told me off…not difficult to swallow the criticism at all. Need to learn to calm myself down sometimes!!!
I came home from work one Friday evening to find that Riya Gupta, the creator of WORLD OF MY THOUGHTS, had nominated me for THE BLOGGER RECOGNITION AWARD, as you can see from her great post below:
The idea was put into my head by Stuart from Croydon. He loved my letters. I have been writing very long letters and e-mails to friends for many years. So I am well into the habit of writing long waffling accounts of my gallivanting up and down the country on various projects, and including all the lurid details of what I ate for lunch and relating an array of emotions I had along the journey.
Stuart said: “YOU SHOULD START A BLOG”. I thought that was like mum telling me to go and try out for some television singing competition and stand in front of Simon Cowell. In addition, I did not really know what a blog was. I had not seen them for myself. I thought it was a glorified version of Instagram. I had never used Facebook or Twitter or all the social media networks.
I also thought it a bit odd to write something strangers would read. All my letters and e-mails have been to friends and family I know and love. So it was easy to know what to talk about, what they will be interested in, what they will find amusing or meaningful. How on earth do you know what to write to complete strangers?
I was afraid that anything I wrote and published would be ignored or criticised. I enjoyed writing, I didn’t particularly want to invite a dish load of negative feedback. So…to say the least I did not have very high expectations of blogging!
Another friend with whom I had shared a selection of short stories and my one poem encouraged me to publish these. My friend was already publishing their work online and helped me to set up a WordPress site. According to WordPress we published my first post River on the 19th April 2018. If you have not had chance to glance at River yet, please have an ickle look – it is a poem I wrote as a teenager and I am very fond of it. It is without doubt my favourite post.
I remember that when I first published a few posts, there were virtually no views or likes or comments. I remember how discouraging it can be when you begin. But gradually I came into contact with more and more bloggers who were very lovely and very encouraging. I think it is because of the wonderful support from other bloggers that I am still enjoying blogging sixteen months after I began.
They have encouraged me to experiment with my writing. I am genuinely enjoying it! My blog is mainly personal, and I have to admit it has been extremely helpful to me. I have had a few challenges in recent years. I have done really well at getting back into a normal life, but it is very helpful to have had this outlet just to express some of what I have kept locked within into words. It helps to put things into perspective and brings a huge amount of relief. I am very grateful to the bloggers who have been so supportive of those personal posts.
Expect nothing…appreciate everything
When you are a new blogger, you need to be patient. Do not expect thousands of strangers to find you and decide you are the best thing since sliced bread! Enjoy creating posts. Make sure you read posts published by other bloggers. You can learn a lot from them. In addition you will find that blogging is best when you interact with other bloggers. Always show appreciation for the support you are receiving.
When you are new to blogging, the blogging world can be a bit like turning up at a party where everyone else seems to know each other and you don’t know them. So be polite, be personable, be appealing. There are bound to be other bloggers who will warm to you when you make an effort to interact. Back that up with creating your own great posts, so that when they check out your posts they want to keep coming back.
Enjoy the party!
If you are ever struggling – it’s ok to ask a blogger for help and advice. Other bloggers are human (well, except for the robots, but they are for another post). It’s endearing when a new blogger is a little lost and asks for advice.
Sometimes when you see that other bloggers have big numbers and are prolific in their publishing it can all seem a bit intimidating, and you may feel your blog is a bit inadequate. Do not compare. Never be shy of reaching out to other bloggers who seem like friendly types and asking for tips and support.
And hey…relax. If you are going to a party where there is a venue full of strangers…do you rush around shaking everyone’s hand, introducing yourself, trying to hold everyone’s attention, demanding they start a friendship with you, and generally leaving everyone bewildered? Just chillax…you will find that by being yourself, being natural, leaving balanced appreciative comments (not scary stalker type comments) on posts you genuinely enjoyed, you will build contacts. You will soon find yourself part of a very friendly supportive blogging community.
I don’t want to be sounding pessimistic here, but I have been contemplating folding up all my shorts, cropped trousers, floaty blouses and summery dresses and putting them into storage and pulling out all of my winter woolies. The weather is turning here in England.
We have a whole week of constant rain and drizzle ahead. I’m never ready for summer to end. But I have found that for over thirty years, spring has returned to England each year, usually in spectacular style. So for now…I will wrap up warm, find my boots and comfort myself with gingerbread lattes.
Jim Adams, aka Newepicauthor, the creator of A Unique Title For Me, is hosting SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY and this week he has chosen the theme: CLOTHING/HAT/PANTS/SCARF/SHIRT/SHOES/TIE
I surprised myself by listing a great long list of songs for today’s SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY. Great theme Jim. We are again spoilt for choice.
But in the end I had to go with my mood. I’m not going to explain everything right now, but you may be aware that something unexpected has happened in my life in the past week or so. Very unexpected indeed. My heart is up in the air.
I think I have mentioned in the past I have a problem with the whole idea of “celebrity”. I don’t agree with giving humans excessive glory, especially not for prancing around a stage in their knickers. But I have often crossed paths with celebrities for various reasons. Years ago it was when I was working in the music industry. But then when I started to centre my life around volunteering for various charities, all sorts of celebrities would like to get involved. Some I have actually got on with and liked, others not so much.
One particular national radio DJ and I, found ourselves sparring with each other, after the bombastic way he rolled into working with other volunteers. The numpty did something highly inappropriate and reprehensible on one of our projects. I had the privilege of sitting him down for the “who on earth do you think you are?” chat. Working with him left a bitter taste in my mouth. I felt as if he was only working with that particular charity to improve his own image in the media. A form of glory-hunting. If you want to be a volunteer, you ought to be selfless. Not having an ulterior motive of boosting your own popularity.
Anyway…I digress. There is one particular celebrity who has had a massive impact on my life. That is the man I used to live with. Right I will avoid any further mention of Jack in this post. But let’s just say this, a couple of nights ago, we had a pivotal conversation during which I explained that I am not willing to live my life with the threat of celebrity culture and all of the viciousness that tags along with it, breathing down my neck. I want a normal life. One that ignores the existence of people with whom I am wholly unconnected taking photos of me, making comments about me and spreading outright lies about me. I did not mince my words. I hope very much I was understood.
I finished my little rant with the words “if I think I am going to be dragged through the hedge again or thrown in front of the bus – then it’s NO CANNOLI”. The person I was talking to started laughing at me using the expression “no cannoli”. So I made it personal and said that I was not impressed by what he might think he is because of the celebrity hype. I indicated that I am only interested in the real him. It was a very impassioned speech on my part. What I wasn’t expecting was the response that it provoked.
Well…thanks for letting me get that off my chest! That was the reason why I have chosen to feature a song that mentions shoes, if nothing else. Shania Twain, “That Don’t Impress Me Much”:
I’ve known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart
But you’ve got being right down to an art
You think you’re a genius, you drive me up the wall
You’re a regular original, a know-it-all
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re special
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re something else
OK, so you’re a rocket scientist
That don’t impress me much
So you got the brain but have you got the touch?
Now don’t get me wrong, yeah, I think you’re alright
But that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night
That don’t impress me much
I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket
And a comb up his sleeve just in case
And all that extra-hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it
‘Cause Heaven forbid it should fall outta place
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re special
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re something else
OK, so you’re Brad Pitt
That don’t impress me much
So you got the looks but have you got the touch?
Now don’t get me wrong, yeah, I think you’re alright
But that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night
That don’t impress me much
You’re one of those guys who likes to shine his machine
You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in
I can’t believe you kiss your car good night
Now, c’mon, baby, tell me? You must be jokin’, right?
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re special
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re something else
OK, so you’ve got a car
That don’t impress me much
So you got the moves but have you got the touch?
Now don’t get me wrong, yeah, I think you’re alright
But that won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night
That don’t impress me much
You think you’re cool but have you got the touch?
Now don’t get me wrong, yeah, I think you’re alright
But that won’t keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night
That don’t impress me much
OK. So, what do you think? You’re Elvis or something?
That don’t impress me much!
That don’t impress me much!
Written By: Robert John “Mutt” Lange and Shania Twain
It’s been an eventful week! So I am late again with this week’s SHARE-YOUR-WORLD post. I love the chance to share a little of my view of the world at large and my own little but lovely world. The questions from Melanie, the creator of sparksfromacombustiblemind, are always just too good to resist. So I had to make sure I finished my post before the weekend was through. Here is Melanie’s original post, so you can take a look at the original questions and all the great posts from other bloggers who participate in SHARE-YOUR-WORLD:
https://sparksfromacombustiblemind.com/2019/09/16/share-your-world-9-16-19/
Yes, this is an interesting question indeed.
I always understood the word “listening” to mean that you hear and act, or hear and obey. In fact somewhere I have read that in some ancient languages the same word was used for “listen” and “obey”. I always thought hearing could be more passive. Whereas, I have always understood the process of listening to demand that you fix your attention on something and respond or act on what is heard.
There is a lot of noise in this world, it’s hard to avoid hearing that “noise”. But to choose to fix your attention on something or someone and to heed such…well, that can require some effort and conscious choice.
Someone might think they are listening…however, there is so much bias and prejudice in their heart, they are only mentally arguing regarding what they have heard. (Which might not seem like a bad thing, if it seems utter nonsense.) So, it can take great effort to prepare yourself to listen with retention.
A very skilled listener may also be able to not just hear and respond to the words spoken, but to discern the tone of voice and other indicators of what a person is actually feeling…regardless of their choice of words. I often think of my parents. They were very good at listening. Even when I didn’t say how I felt or voice my concerns, they knew something was wrong and they listened to what I was and wasn’t telling them. They were deeply interested. Someone who is really interested in something or someone tends to be a much better listener.
Listening is a marvellous skill…to be cultivated and trained. It can mean your very life!
Oh my friends and I discuss all sorts of fascinating subjects! There are no limits to the topics and subjects we handle.
Hmm.I would say that my site is on the whole light-hearted and lively. I hope you find CRUSHED CARAMEL (LEARNER AT LOVE) that way. But I am not afraid of interesting questions. I am aware that on certain subjects there are diverse opinions, and I do appreciate that in stating my own opinion on a matter, there is a possibility that someone who disagrees with such may feel alienated.
Sometimes other bloggers might raise interesting questions, and I may choose to attempt to provide an answer. But I would be cautious. Whenever these “provoking” questions come up, I do try to be careful and considerate. I would not wish to be belligerent or cause any offence.
Hmm. I am not afraid of engaging in subjects that are difficult to discuss, because I am careful in how I approach them. However, if you tackle a subject and express your opinions in a manner that could cause someone else to feel threatened and intimidated, or offended, well, naturally you may expect to lose some readers. You can decide for yourself whether you care about that. I am sure that the main reason that I am invited to so many dinner parties is that I have that training in tact, discretion, diplomacy that means I can be at any dinner table, and part of any discussion without causing any offense or embarrassment.
I am careful to remember that a person may have deeply treasured beliefs and views that are holding them together, and that have helped them to endure all manner of challenges in their life. Their faith and their hope may be very sacred to them. Presenting your own beliefs or views in a respectful and reasonable manner allows someone to consider them. Make your expressions palatable though. If you deliver your opinions like punches…you’ll entertain those of like-mind, and alienate others.
It is cruel to turn on someone else’s deeply treasured views with a sledge-hammer and leave them with nothing. If you are the kind of debater that aggressively seeks to demolish all other possible opinions that differ from your own and have no regard for causing another person to crumble…well – I hardly know what to say to you! Maybe that’s why I don’t see you at dinner parties! I wonder if it is really more important to win arguments or win hearts. Is it more important to always be right, or to be kind?
Jo.
I needed a tomboy name. Melody is rather girly. Jo seemed more fitting for my character. I was a tree-climbing, football playing, pond-wading, scaffolding invading, rope swinging kind of a girl.
Jo is part of my middle name. So Jo it was.
“Progressive” – I am not so sure that is the word that would come to my mind when I contemplate this “world”. I consider it more along the lines of “lost” and “estranged” from our Creator. Trying to learn about creation, while ignoring the purpose of the Designer and Creator, is always going to lead humans to wrong conclusions, some of which are very harmful.
Humankind are crying out for help. I have every confidence that we will learn and understand and progress forever, under the loving guidance of our Creator. We are all learners at love.
I absolutely love my food processor. I love making hummus and pesto. I love making coleslaw and being able to make biscuit crumbs for the base of cheese-cakes so quickly.
There are so many bloggers who I admire for all sorts of reasons. It is really hard to single out one. So I will give you three for a start. If you follow their blogs and have any idea of their personalities and qualities…you will know exactly why I mention them. But I could easily supply another thirty bloggers who I truly admire.
Are you one of those curious types who wants me to give a reason for why I have mentioned these three…well, I will try to explain. We all face challenges at some point, I draw huge encouragement and inspiration from the way people deal with challenges they have faced. Endurance, determination, fighting spirit…and a remarkable way of communicating and chronicling how they have dealt with challenges. Hats off ladies – you are all awesome!
Abigail Johnston – No Half Measures
ashleyleia – Mental Health @ Home
Laurie – Meditations in Motion
Caramel 