Tag Archives: listening

Listening And Learning Can Be Lovely

perfect vision.pngIt’s been an eventful week! So I am late again with this week’s SHARE-YOUR-WORLD post. I love the chance to share a little of my view of the world at large and my own little but lovely world. The questions from Melanie, the creator of sparksfromacombustiblemind, are always just too good to resist. So I had to make sure I finished my post before the weekend was through. Here is Melanie’s original post, so you can take a look at the original questions and all the great posts from other bloggers who participate in SHARE-YOUR-WORLD:



Are we losing the art of listening in comparison to simply hearing?

careffulYes, this is an interesting question indeed.

I always understood the word “listening” to mean that you hear and act, or hear and obey. In fact somewhere I have read that in some ancient languages the same word was used for “listen” and “obey”. I always thought hearing could be more passive. Whereas, I have always understood the process of listening to demand that you fix your attention on something and respond or act on what is heard.

careful1There is a lot of noise in this world, it’s hard to avoid hearing that “noise”. But to choose to fix your attention on something or someone and to heed such…well, that can require some effort and conscious choice.

Someone might think they are listening…however, there is so much bias and prejudice in their heart, they are only mentally arguing regarding what they have heard. (Which might not seem like a bad thing, if it seems utter nonsense.) So, it can take great effort to prepare yourself to listen with retention.

careful2A very skilled listener may also be able to not just hear and respond to the words spoken, but to discern the tone of voice and other indicators of what a person is actually feeling…regardless of their choice of words. I often think of my parents. They were very good at listening. Even when I didn’t say how I felt or voice my concerns, they knew something was wrong and they listened to what I was and wasn’t telling them. They were deeply interested. Someone who is really interested in something or someone tends to be a much better listener.

Listening is a marvellous skill…to be cultivated and trained. It can mean your very life!

How often do you openly discuss with friends or here in WP with your readership topics that make you feel uncomfortable or may be taboo or stigma laden?

Oh my friends and I discuss all sorts of fascinating subjects! There are no limits to the topics and subjects we handle.

i cant drawHmm.I would say that my site is on the whole light-hearted and lively. I hope you find CRUSHED CARAMEL (LEARNER AT LOVE) that way. But I am not afraid of interesting questions. I am aware that on certain subjects there are diverse opinions, and I do appreciate that in stating my own opinion on a matter, there is a possibility that someone who disagrees with such may feel alienated.

Sometimes other bloggers might raise interesting questions, and I may choose to attempt to provide an answer. But I would be cautious. Whenever these “provoking” questions come up, I do try to be careful and considerate. I would not wish to be belligerent or cause any offence.

Do you think that these discussions should be freely discussed and written about more?

toxicHmm. I am not afraid of engaging in subjects that are difficult to discuss, because I am careful in how I approach them. However, if you tackle a subject and express your opinions in a manner that could cause someone else to feel threatened and intimidated, or offended, well, naturally you may expect to lose some readers. You can decide for yourself whether you care about that. I am sure that the main reason that I am invited to so many dinner parties is that I have that training in tact, discretion, diplomacy that means I can be at any dinner table, and part of any discussion without causing any offense or embarrassment.

I am careful to remember that a person may have deeply treasured beliefs and views that are holding them together, and that have helped them to endure all manner of challenges in their life. Their faith and their hope may be very sacred to them. Presenting your own beliefs or views in a respectful and reasonable manner allows someone to consider them. Make your expressions palatable though. If you deliver your opinions like punches…you’ll entertain those of like-mind, and alienate others.

dem.gifIt is cruel to turn on someone else’s deeply treasured views with a sledge-hammer and leave them with nothing. If you are the kind of debater that aggressively seeks to demolish all other possible opinions that differ from your own and have no regard for causing another person to crumble…well – I hardly know what to say to you! Maybe that’s why I don’t see you at dinner parties! I wonder if it is really more important to win arguments or win hearts. Is it more important to always be right, or to be kind?

Did you have a nickname as a child and if so, what was [or what is it now]?

me at 9Jo.

I needed a tomboy name. Melody is rather girly. Jo seemed more fitting for my character. I was a tree-climbing, football playing, pond-wading, scaffolding invading, rope swinging kind of a girl.

Jo is part of my middle name. So Jo it was.

Why is there still ‘stuff’ we simply just don’t understand despite our progressive world?

child“Progressive” – I am not so sure that is the word that would come to my mind when I contemplate this “world”. I consider it more along the lines of “lost” and “estranged” from our Creator. Trying to learn about creation, while ignoring the purpose of the Designer and Creator, is always going to lead humans to wrong conclusions, some of which are very harmful.

Humankind are crying out for help. I have every confidence that we will learn and understand and progress forever, under the loving guidance of our Creator. We are all learners at love.

What is your most essential kitchen tool?  (Can be a person you know.  For the non-cooks in the crowd).

I absolutely love my food processor. I love making hummus and pesto. I love making coleslaw and being able to make biscuit crumbs for the base of cheese-cakes so quickly.

Gratitude Question:

Who is one blogger you really admire and why?

There are so many bloggers who I admire for all sorts of reasons. It is really hard to single out one. So I will give you three for a start. If you follow their blogs and have any idea of their personalities and qualities…you will know exactly why I mention them. But I could easily supply another thirty bloggers who I truly admire.

Are you one of those curious types who wants me to give a reason for why I have mentioned these three…well, I will try to explain. We all face challenges at some point, I draw huge encouragement and inspiration from the way people deal with challenges they have faced. Endurance, determination, fighting spirit…and a remarkable way of communicating and chronicling how they have dealt with challenges. Hats off ladies – you are all awesome!

ashleyleia ashleyleia – Mental Health @ Home