For the past two days I have had to wade through pages and pages of legal documents (don’t ask!) at a venue in central London. While I was within the building, I embarrassed myself. Well…to be honest, I think I embarrassed someone else. I wandered into the ladies back stage at this rather swanky venue. I walked in and then I walked out moments later and asked a guy who looked familiar, but who was dressed like a doorman, if he knew who I could ask regarding the supplies for the ladies facilities. He looked at me with an odd expression. So I spelt it out nice and clearly for the gentleman, “there is no toilet paper” in any of the cubicles.
He asked me who I was. I explained. He apologised and said he would contact management. Then he introduced himself. I immediately recognised the name. That’s when it clicked why he looked so familiar! He is the owner of the venue (and several other central London properties). I have been at events where he has been in attendance, but I have never actually spoken to him before. I decided to play dumb because I didn’t want him to realize I knew who he was!
I know you might be wondering. Look at the picture above. If you see a man dressed like this, don’t you think “doorman”??? Would you look at him and think he owned numerous central London properties and could probably buy a whole country – not Greenland though! (Greenland is not up for sale – ok!!!)
I asked the owner of the building, a man who is rolling in mular – more money than Scrooge McDuck – where I can find more toilet paper!!! I am taken aback at how smooth I am at times! I realized this was a faux pas. Yet I did not actually feel embarrassed. Instead the hilarity of the situation started to choke me, and I had to restrain myself from giggling. Well, he and I had a little chat about all sorts – the weather, British politics, and the increase of violence in London. It was such an odd conversation. I was desperate to think of an excuse so that I could escape. It took me a while though to come up with something. Anyway…
I think he needs to invest a little cash in hiring a style guru. Someone who is so rich should not be walking around dressed like a doorman!