I had the lovely privilege of having dinner at a friend’s home the other day. She is such a great cook, and she seems to be embracing the vegetarian diet. She made an incredibly delicious carrot risotto, so packed with flavour.
This is not her risotto of course, I was too polite to start taking photos of the meal she served us. But I just loved that dish. I will be dreaming about it all weekend.
She said it was from a Waitrose recipe….so I can try to make it myself. Although I don’t know if I will be able to do it justice like she did.
You may (or not) remember I have been working myself up into a right old tizzy about a three stage job interview.
I had a total confidence crisis…and started to feel totally pathetic…(don’t worry, I know a job interview does not define my worth, but the drama was was all getting to me).
I did say I would let you know the result, but I am still trying to get over it….
…and when I say “get over it”….what I mean is, get over the shock.
Yes….shock!
I was not just surprised, but shocked when I received a phone call offering me the job. Well I never! It’s a funny old world.
Slightly mixed feelings….I love the team I work with….but this is a step I need to take for all sorts of reasons. Jack has been discussing these reasons with me for ages, and because I am both an extremely content person and a proper trooper, I have kept going, pushing my body, and just about covering my rent and food bills for the week, with a very little bit left. Jack has tried to tempt me to work for friends of ours in North London who have businesses, but I really like my little nest, and until we are married I want to stay here.
So there is a change ahead of me. It will be good for me physically. I am hoping not to be as exhausted. But it will be demanding in other ways. I do have almost ten years of experience in this field, but I have not worked in this area for a few years, so there will be lots of catching up to do. The good thing is, the two interviewers who I will be working with, well they seemed very appealing, and I feel very positive about that.
Squirrels – kamikaze squirrels – they are total nutcases, aren’t they!!! I was watching a squirrel perform the most ludicrous stunt the other day. It was like a cross between an Olympic gymnastics routine and those high wire circus acrobats. Risking life and limb, all because the lady loves…peanuts.
I am gazing up at you and feeling like I desperately need to talk to a friend who knows me inside and out. I need a friend who can see what is going on in this heart of mine when I cannot find the words. I need a friend who will listen and understand and empathize. I need a friend who knows this pain and has words of comfort and wise advise to offer.
I am feeling so very small, and a little lost. But I know you are more magnificent than all the works of your hand. In all these years, this heart of mine has gone on beating, and I am amazed that I breathe in and out without thinking. I am in awe of countless miracles around me.
Things are changing around me at a pace that frightens me. I suddenly am unsure which step to take next. I am consumed with the heartbreaks of those I love. There are sinister characters that lurk on the edge of my life, using their vicious little fingers to spread slander and malicious gossip about me….again….for no other reason that I am going to marry a very fine man. They don’t like it. They don’t know me, but they want to hurt me.
I cling to him, for he is my greatest treasure. Our story is one that fills me with faith and hope, for I have already voyaged stormy seas and seen my timbers shipwrecked, and yet you rescued and restored me, and made sure I was sea-worthy once more. But the fear is still there, perhaps heightened by the memories of that darkness.
That feeling that I am just a tiny insignificant pebble, and yet, you in all your majesty, lower yourself down to my level to hear my heartache. You are more wonderful than all the mountains and forests and oceans and all of the vast heavens above. You take note of all the suffering of those who long for goodness to fill this earth. You hold their prayers as deeply precious.
Time is passing, the grains are falling away, the pages are turning, the scenes are racing by….just a little while longer….and these fears will have passed, these fears will be no more.
I have at lease twenty things pressing on my mind right now, all swimming around and jostling for attention. I have made a start to compiling a thorough guide to all the little tasks I have ended up doing at work….because it seems like a good idea. I am still awaiting the “verdict” in relation to the job interview I mentioned last week. I have friends who are keeping my mind busy – one with an exciting new project, one who is very very ill and starts palliative chemotherapy today, one who has just given in her notice to her job, one who had a back injury over the weekend and is struggling to walk….
…and the list goes on.
Jack has been instigating some serious talks over the past few weeks. Some about our future, the wedding, the decisions ahead of us, and some discussions about right now. He has been very candid about the what will happen if I am accepted as a full time volunteer again when we marry: DESK JOB.
I spent so many years on site, in the thick of the action, in the midst of our wonderful volunteers….I don’t really want to be lumped with a desk job. But he reminded me that we do not pick our assignments.
All sorts is swimming around my head. I think I am going to look at dresses, pictures of lovely dresses, for some reason that does help to distract my mind from all sorts of pressing concerns.
So this reminded me of a song that I chose when somehow I was put in charge of music on a long journey. It ended up with me reminiscing over all the music from my childhood and teenage years.
One of the bands I used to often listen to was Echobelly. I loved their album “On“. I have chosen a track called “King Of The Kerb”. I was never 100% sure what the lyrics were about? A protection racket? Someone who thinks he’s Number One in town? Politicians? I have heard all sorts of ideas. It makes it more fun to not be sure.
But it is a fab track – if you love guitars…turn it up nice and loud!
Sugar smile savvy
The king of the kerb
Got a temper in the style of a bomb
Got his friends in his pocket
Or safe behind bars
All the local boys know what he's done
He turns if on, he turns it on, he turns it on
Same boys doing it for themselves
There's somebody out there doing it for you
Safe while you're paying out for your health
They're the kings of the kerb
And everybody knows what they're worth
Sugar smile savvy
The king of the kerb
Keeps the order in this part of the town
All the shadows in the alley
The shapes at the bar
Like to service him when he does the round
He turns if on, he turns it on, he turns it on
Same boys doing it for themselves
There's somebody out there doing it for you
Safe while you're paying out for your health
They're the kings of the kerb
And everybody knows what they're worth
Safe from harm and safe from greed
A little protection is at that you need
Safe from harm and safe from greed
They're just a racket machine
Same boys doing it for themselves
There's somebody out there doing it for you
Same boys doing it for themselves
There's somebody out there doing it for you
Same boys doing it for themselves
There's somebody out there looking it for you
Safe while you're paying out for your health
They're the kings of the kerb
They're the kings of the kerb
They're the kings of the kerb
And everybody knows what they're worth
Written by: Sonya Aurora Madan & Glenn Johansson
I am definitely lacking when it comes to artistic and creative areas. WordPress has given me the chance to improve a little when it comes to being creative, but it is something that does not come easily to me.
So, I am actually rather nervous about the latest project I have been roped into! A friend of mine has come up with an idea, a lovely idea, and she has been very creative in producing something that is a delight, would be a delight to anyone. She shared her idea with me, and I was invited to give honest feedback. I thought her idea was original, I have never seen anything quite like it, and brilliant, but I suggested on or two little tweaks.
Now….she wants me to go over after work and help her photograph this creation so she can submit her creation to interested parties. Me with a camera – yikes! I am not sure if I am going to help or hinder this project.
Anyway…I am being a little vague and ambiguous about this because my friend has sworn me to secrecy amongst our friends. She plans to reveal her creation at a later date, but while she is in the production and marketing stage, she wants to keep it all under wraps.
Have you ever taken a different route that normal? Just for the sake of it? I followed this suggestion made by a colleague (as part of a list of things to do set you on a positive start to the year) and I had the happy coincidence to bump into a very good friend of mine who I have not seen for ages!!
It was so great to see her. We shared our news with each other, and we both had so much news. What a very happy chance meeting. She is such a special person, such a hard working, humble, sweet natured, kind, thoughtful, funny, lovely person. I cannot tell you how pleased I was to see her!
In other news….I had the last stage of the interview process today…..and now I wait. I understood that it would probably be next week when a decision is communicated. Until then, I need to make sure I don’t think about it too much.
Last night, I tried to relax and unwind before the last stage of my interview (which will happen whether I am ready or not!), but for some reason I ended up watching the BBC News Channel.
Goodness – no matter how stressful the interview process for a job is – it is nothing compared to what some rather high profile men in this country are dealing with.
I don’t want to offer up my opinion on some of the dramas that are causing a whirlwind of reaction. But it feels as if there is a big finger pointing at two different men, two very different situations, and as if onlookers are slightly baffled by the response of each of these individuals.
I have heard an expression a lot in the past couple of years – “the court of popular opinion”. No matter what occurs next….with regards to civil investigations, reports, police enquiries into possible criminal offences or breaches of law….I suppose the “court of popular opinion” refers to a situation when a lot of onlookers or witnesses have totally lost respect for the accused, lost confidence in them, and have become doubtful as to their integrity and trustworthiness.
I do wish I had not turned the news on. However, it certainly distracted me from my own concerns. Seeing the utter messy sticky trap that is developing around two men who seem to have played their cards very foolishly….well, it makes my worries look rather insignificant.
On a completely different note….a friend of mine had this lovely idea….and although it was not something I personally wanted to put my name to, I helped her work on her idea. She has come up with a pudding – a pudding I think is quite delicious and I think anyone would. She wanted to submit it for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations. We talked it over and I suggested a couple of tweaks, which she loved, and then I helped her with the story behind the idea and the significance of all the ingredients and how they relate to the Queen’s legacy. She is ever so talented, and she is the type of person who I think would be a brilliant representative as a royal baker.
This is not her idea….by the way…just a pretty Pixabay picture to decorate this post. But if her adorable idea is featured to celebrate decades of enduring being in the public eye throughout all manner of challenges and crises, well, I am sure I will be letting you know that my friend thought up something truly delicious and worthy of someone who has won respect due to her public decorum.
Well….what a week it has been so far. It has certainly been eventful. Here is a quick re-cap:
I had a job interview on Monday
In case you were wondering, I had technical difficulties and the assessments that were part of that interview completely confused me and I think it must have been pretty obvious that I was lost!!
I felt downhearted and slightly embarrassed on Monday evening that I had been so terrible with the assessments.
I had to check Jack understood his instructions and itinerary for the following day (our friends’ wedding)
I went to stay over with friends who the night before the wedding
I woke up on Tuesday and started getting myself ready and helping my dear friend get ready for her wedding
I received the most astonishing phone call, communicating I had not done as badly as I expected with the assessments and inviting me to the last stage of the interview. (AMAZING!!!)
We made our way to the registry office….Jack was nowhere to be seen!
I received a phone call from Jack, who was with a friend transporting the dolled up mobility scooter that was so essential to the wedding ceremony, saying they were stuck in traffic!
A friend of ours managed to come up with an ingenious solution to the lack of mobility scooter.
The wedding began (minus Jack and the sparkly mobility scooter).
Jack arrived before the vows and slipped in next to me
After the wedding ceremony and some photographs, the groom carried his bride out to the mobility scooter so she could give it a turn around the courtyard
We went back to a friend’s house for their reception – beautiful!
What an eventful week it has been so far!!! I am still amazed that after I thought I did disastrously with the assessments, I was invited to the last stage of the interview process. I still expect there are other candidates who are very worthy of this role, and have more qualifications and more up-to-date experience than myself. However, at the end of the day, the interviewers are also considering other factors, the character and qualities someone displays, and how well they will fit in with the team that are already in place. It is right and important for them to pick someone who they believe will fit in well, and be a positive contribution to the team. Something must have made them think I might potentially fit that bill. I have to be relaxed that at this last stage, I have to be relaxed with myself and also relaxed that they will pick the person who is right for their team.
LIFE – so full of twists and turns, highs and lows, challenges and joys, battles and victories – and ever so many surprises!!! I think it is important to get out there and LIVE LIFE, because you never know what is around the corner.
Caramel 