Keep Me Inside The Pocket Of Your Ripped Jeans

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADancing in your arms underneath the starry skies – set me up for dreams of you and a hunger for more.

I think…I don’t know, but I think…that is hard to be in love, not just to be “in love”, but to actually love – for love is an action, not just a feeling – someone who does not seem to believe in love like you do.

But you can keep me…keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans…because I am in this for the real deal. I am next to your heartbeat like I should be – London is not all that far from Adelaide. Call me…I will be on the way before you put the phone down.


Next To Me Where You Should Be

night bus.jpgDid you know that there was a 3.15 in the morning?  It might seem hard to believe but, there really is!  I only know because this morning, I left my sweet abode to accompany Goldfinch into Central London where he would board a coach taking him far away from me.

The roads were completely silent right up until we reached the heart of London.  Well we saw foxes. Goldfinch loves foxes. (Ha ha – I think I already knew that!)

Hand in hand with the Goldfinch, dancing in the moonlight waiting for the night bus, singing every romantic song I could think of into his ear.

Standing there until the last minute so I could wave goodbye to him as the coach pulled away from the inner court of the station, and then running outside onto the main road so I could see the coach pass. Standing on the pavement waving at him…but he was looking down at his phone, so the coach-driver probably assumed I was some crazy lady waving at him.

night Big BenMaking my way back across London to my little nest.  Gazing up at the sky – pink and blue…the same colour as me.  Flushed pink with adoration and affection for my Goldfinch, blue once I have parted from him yet again, knowing my time with him is flitting away at an alarming pace.

Climbing back into bed and breathing in his scent on my pillow. Letting a few tears trickle down (I didn’t let my eyes leak once while I was with him) and deciding the only thing to do is to send him a text message “I LOVE YOU GOLDFINCH”…and then drifting away into sweet sleep. Wishing he was beside me, and we were all set to hibernate together for the winter months.

Opening my eyes realizing he is not there.  He should be, he should be next to me.  But he is already miles away, probably on his way to work by now, back to the grindstone, back to routine.

Goldfinch…should be always next to me.





FOWC with Fandango — Routine

It Was Only A Dream

Those mornings when I open my eyes and realize it was only a dream.

i dream of you

Where are you right now?

Other than the fading mist of my dreams?

Are you cold right now?

Do you long for my touch to keep you warm?


On your own right now?

Does another woman lie in your arms?

Fast asleep right now?

Do I haunt your dreams the way you do mine?

Flying With Goldfinch

G-g-g-g-g-guess who is coming to see me this weekend?

I have cancelled all my plans for Goldfinch…and I am not one bit sorry.  It’s such a trial trying to stay patient while I am waiting to share moments with him.

I can’t wait for the moment he arrives in London. I am going to try…it might not work, but I will try to throw one or two surprises into this weekend for him.

I will try to make him as happy, even a fraction as happy, as he makes me!




FOWC with Fandango — Trial

He Is Like A Dream

Moments with Goldfinch…which will soon be memories of Goldfinch…which will be like dreams.  He and I walking hand in hand through autumnal forest, finding ourselves quite alone in an enchanting glade with golden rays of sunlight streaming through the canopy above.  How beautiful to share those moments with Goldfinch, how beautiful my memories, how beautiful my dreams!

On Sunday, Goldfinch said he wished I was just down the road so that whenever he wanted he could come over and chat and hold me for a few hours.

At the moment he is a two hour drive away (but because we both tend to use the train or coach to travel, it works out closer to three hours).  It is hard to explain the excitement that builds when I am about to see him again. Hearing his Australian tones utter the words “Hey Gorgeous!” and his arms wrapping around me….aaaaah! (I know he should get his eyes tested, but we won’t worry about that right now!)

But then there is the agony of saying goodbye and having to make the journey back to my little abode without him.

Long distance relationships are not easy…I know at least one other blogger who totally understands this, as she explained her situation in a comment she sent last week.

You end up dreaming your life away because you miss each other so much. I guess I am going to have to get used to this…in the near future…two or three hours will seem like nothing.  10,100 miles is a lot further than 110 miles.  I have a lot of dreaming ahead of me.

I am sure there is a limit to how much you can tolerate of me publishing posts about my love for my Goldfinch…but remember, he is going soon…and then I will be profoundly sad…and I will surely be writing mournful dirges and odes to my long lost love.


FOWC with Fandango — Limit

I Only Wanna Be With You

There is one man on the planet right now who makes me excited and loved.

To me, Goldfinch is the quintessence of man!

I quite simply love him!

Sometimes he seems to have too much on his plate, his head full of worries.  He has a very demanding job. Even I get annoyed at the ridiculous and radical requests of his seniors at work. When he has finally finished work and goes back to his digs, he has little space to himself, as he shares a house with other professionals.

He loves his head being rubbed…I love massaging his head (don’t know what I am doing, but he likes it).  I sometimes wish I could hold him tight and let all his worries melt away.

I love him so much…I wish I could hide him away from the rest of the world in my little nest and not let anyone mither him.  Aaaaah gorgeous Goldfinch…if only I could make life and work easier for him.

FOWC with Fandango — Radical

I Have Never Had Writer’s Block Before

I am trying to write a letter to Goldfinch…and for some strange reason I am lost for words. It’s not like me. I have written many words of love to him in the past twenty months.

scribe.jpgIn fact I have probably written too many words, in too many letters and e-mails. But there have been times when i have been absolutely bursting with love for him…and I wrote it down. I poured my heart out onto a page and put it in an envelope with a first class stamp on it to send it off to Coventry…or just pressed send. While Goldfinch has been in Australia, I have emailed and texted and we have spoken on the phone.

writingBut now I want to write a beautiful letter in my own hand-writing. And yet…I have writer’s block!!! It’s awful. It’s not that the feelings that are lacking – oh no not at all. I am holding back, I think, because I don’t want to be too intense. I don’t want to send him something that is nonsensical. I want to come across perfectly balanced, composed, rational. But writing a rational love letter is not the easiest thing to do – let me tell you.

It’s weird. All the time he was in England, I was only ever able to spend a day or two with him. So my long messages in between seemed perfectly appropriate. But after being with Goldfinch for a longer time period, I am frightened that he won’t want me to be gushing with romantic silliness.

Problem is…I am more in love than ever. More eager to keep his attention. More desperate for his affection. More frustrated at being so far away. More impatient to be back with him soon. More terrified than I have ever been that if I get something wrong, if I choose the wrong words, if I miss something out…I might lose him.

Love, my friends, can be tortuous!