I have had to take pain killers all day today. Normally it is only in the morning when I take them. Yet the pain killers have not covered the pain. It’s been intense and all in one area rather than darting around.
There were a couple of times when I just sat on the floor and put my legs in that A position they teach you in first aid because the pain in my head was overwhelming and my chest was tightening and I was having to concentrate on breathing deep breaths.
I have been trying to take it slowly today. I had work to do, but I moved slowly. Yet I have had the typical nausea, dizziness, chest pains and irregular breathing and gasping for breath that tell me I should ring my GP, or if it’s any worse overnight, ring a friend and ask them to take me to hospital.
Hopefully after a good night’s sleep, things will settle down! I don’t want to work myself up and become anxious. But especially now…I am aware that I need to look after this body, especially now, it is important to look after this body!
I know a lot of you have to deal with pain due to various conditions. Do you start to worry like I do that this might be it – and start texting your family and friends to let them know that you love them??
That might sound ridiculous to someone who does not know overpowering pain, but honestly it is frightening. I have been sitting up in bed calmly for about an hour with my legs raised because when I lie down the pain in my head becomes so much worse. But I am tired…I need to sleep. I am wondering if I might just prop myself up with all the pillows and the cushions from the sofa and hopefully I will nod off while I am sat up.
Let’s not worry, not be anxious…let’s just make sure everyone knows I love them and hope I nod off soon!!! Ha ha! My sister Mandy can have my dresses and Milly can have my coats. My friend Louise wants my black suede boots from Jones (the bootmakers). My Scarpa walking boots are almost new – make sure someone takes them because they are great boots. Goldfinch can have anything he wants!!! I can’t think of anything he would want though! Still…if there was anything.
The major decision I made was to leave that job as soon as I found another “tied-accommodation” role. I found a role fairly quickly as I have mentioned. I was moving to live with a high-profile family near Notting Hill.
I was living and working in a house with a total of six floors because there were two floors below ground. I was running up and down the stairs a lot, which was probably good for me! There was a lot of work to do. The role was advertised as 4-4.5hours per mid week day, with the weekends off. I also agreed to do occasional child-minding.
It was a big step up for me, as some weeks my hours were more than twice the hours we had agreed before hand. I regularly worked between 40-50 hours. I enjoyed the work. But I was exhausted with those hours. I was not ready for those kind of hours yet. It was a beautiful house. I took a lot of pride in my work. I really liked the family and the nanny that worked for them. However, I was pushing myself physically. I had not worked those kind of hours since before I was attacked. The more tired I became the more pain I found myself in.
I have a couple of posts scheduled which describe some of the elongated workdays I faced and give you an idea why those days became so long. But before you read those posts, I will say this, I managed to keep up with the work and still enjoy life in Notting Hill. I saw lots of friends at weekends which was great. I went out on a couple of dates which was a big step because for the year after I was attacked, I was very nervous around men. I found out my sister Milly was expecting her first baby during that time. I found some amazing designer clothes in charity shops in the Notting Hill area.
But one day while I was working with the lady and gentleman of the household, I bent down to pick something up and as I stood up I knocked the back of my head on the underside of a large sink. I felt a little dazed. They had both seen me bang my head and asked if I was alright. I said I was and I carried on working. By the end of the day the whole right side of my face was covered with bruises.
I had mixed feelings. I love my family. But it was so disappointing to me to be leaving London less than six months after I had moved down there to recommence working and living in London. I felt a huge sense of failure. But I was exhausted and I knew I had to heed the advice I had received from hospital.
Nova, the creator of 
Thank you for the challenging challenge Nova! Here is to challenges that make us grow!! Now I know what an elfchen is. I have learnt something today! But now it is time to go to sleep and leave other bloggers on a different time zone to me to keep the blogging world entertained!
Caramel 