Who Or What Effects Your Creativity?

“…me on a canvass…”

I have been tagged for a “3.2.1 Quote Me!” Challenge by the lovely Rory, aka Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! as you can see from his original post below:

https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2019/02/04/321-quote-me-creativity/

Rules: 3.2.1 Quote Me!

Thank the Selector – THANKS RORY!

Post 2 quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day.

Tag 3 bloggers to take part in ‘3.2.1 Quote Me!’

Well, I am going to admit that I always feel a bit uncomfortable about the word “creative”. All the way through school, I was the one who achieved 100% exam results in maths, and could churn out twenty page essays in English and History. I wasn’t bad at languages. I was on all the school sports teams. But could I draw or make anything out of clay, wood, metal, cloth or wool? Nope!

So I have never identified with that word “creative”, which I always associate with artists. Even in English class, it was character studies and analysis that won me top marks, as well as writing about my personal views. I was awful at poetry and I was not particularly imaginative when it came to story writing.

However…since I have been blogging, other bloggers have taught me more than a few things. For example, before I started blogging, I had no idea what flash-fiction was. But I have been reading such clever short stories with brilliant twists from the likes of Teresa, aka The Haunted Wordsmith and Kristian, the creator of Tales From The Mind Of Kristian, and have become familiar with a whole new genre of writing for me.

Other bloggers have taught me so much about how to write and how to be creative and imaginative. I have not attempted many flash-fiction posts, but recently these TELL THE STORY Challenges have been doing the rounds, and I have been tagged for I think five so far (two are scheduled to be published next week). The last two were, I dare to say, a rare example of me actually being creative and not just relating my own experiences. Just in case you missed my rare flash-fiction posts this past week, here they are:

• From Heart To Page
• Emily Rogers Is On The Run

__________

So I guess it’s about time I supplied two quotes on creativity. I have seen a lot of similar posts, so I am hoping I am not using the same quotes others have used.

Now…I would like to share part of a comment that Ursula, the creator of An Upturned Soul, very kindly made in reply to a comment I made on one of her posts. I found what she said very thought provoking and deeply encouraging:

“I think what you’ve decided to do recently on your blog, to tell your raw, real, and painful story, is very brave and truly beautiful. It’s inspiring. It is art – but it’s not the obvious kind of art which can be sold in a gallery, can be recorded or filmed, etc, and marketed as art. It’s the art of living life, and sharing your experience of living your life is creating art….

…Keep going with your journey as you’re doing it. It will terrify you at times. It will make your heart leap with joy at other times. Everything you do, say, are is the creative art of Crushed Caramel.”

I have thought a lot about Ursula’s comment. As I mentioned previously, I have never considered myself as creative, more academic in all honesty. But Ursula helped me to see that even though most of my posts are actually about my life, it is becoming through the writing process, “creative art”.

Although I am still learning to express myself more confidently, I am learning. I am putting parts of myself onto a canvass and trying to present something that is worthwhile for others to regard and gain some enjoyment from (well, that’s the idea – I am not out to annoy anyone, rather to bring a little ray of sunshine to your day).

I am very much writing from the heart. But writing is helping me sift through all sorts of thoughts and emotions and in some ways refine parts of me, helping me discard some of the dross now that I have finally dug it out of the sunken depths of my inner heart, and helped me to polish up the parts of me that I feel most content and pleased with. So in many ways it is helping me to become the person who I want to be.

_________

For my second quote…well, I saw this and I could not resist it:

In all honesty, I don’t remember eating paste (unless we are counting vegetable sandwich paste – yuck!) but I did eat paper and tin foil as a child. Don’t worry my parents tackled it as soon as they realized what I was doing.

Does that explain why I am who I am? Who knows? But I do realize that since I became conscious of being alive, my earliest memories of childhood have been shaping the person I am today.

Some of my favourite posts are in the menu on my site: LESSONS LEARNT AS A CHILD:

• Kid In The Kitchen
• Precious Lace-Like Memories
• First Day Of School
• At The Age of 5, I Thought I Would Be Farmer Prime’s Wife When I Grew Up
• She Taught Me To Blow My Nose
• I Was In Love With The Milky Bar Kid
• Caramel’s Conscience
• Why Was Milly Always Given More Sweets Than Mandy and Me?
• My Lovely Mum Used To Buy Us Iced-Fingers
• The Point At Which Dad Would Intervene In Our Squabbles
• Learning From Mumma Bear

I am going to admit to you…I love writing about the lessons I learnt as a child. I love those memories. I love my family. It’s one of the most rewarding aspects of writing, that I can share my wonderful family. And one day, I hope to share this blog with my family.

I realize how much of me was formed in my early years, my understanding of what is important in life, what the purpose of life is, why humans die, what hope there is for those who have died, how to get along with other people, learning how to cope with mistakes, developing qualities that would make me a good person and learning from the example my parents were setting.

I must admit, I know not all have had the privilege I have of two honest, hard-working, reliable, down-to-earth, gorgeous parents. Neither of whom can draw!!!

But that’s beside the point. My point is that so much of who I am today and the way I think and the way I write is due to my family, and especially my parents.

They have shared so much of themselves with me all these years, and I have loved all that they have taught me. So now, it is my absolute pleasure to live my life in harmony with the lessons they taught me, and to write about it.

_____________

Now I am to three other bloggers for the “3.2.1 Quote Me!” Challenge:

 Cadie Mclendon – Cadie’s Corner

 Tom Burton – Slumdog Soldier

 yaasotaa

 

Love And Possession

I heard somebody make a statement the other day that completely distracted me from the rest of the conversation. I wanted to go somewhere and be alone and meditate on the words I had heard until I had fully digested them. This was the statement I heard that affected me deeply:

Love and possession are not the same thing.

I think I already knew that, but I wanted so much to just think about it deeply and focus my thoughts until I understood how it can be applied. I obviously thought about Goldfinch.

I wondered who voiced this kind of statement – surely some professed wise man had uttered this sentiment at some stage. I found several similar quotes from a variety of people I had never heard of. Here was the first:

I knew from the start that freedom was something important to Goldfinch. It was one of the first facets of his personality I noticed. I wrote about it very early on. It was something I was always mindful of. One of my first posts on this blog 30th April 2018 was entitled “Goldfinch” and I had written it about a month before because he thought he would be moving back to Australia in the spring of 2018 (as you know that turned out to be December 2018).

It is interesting to me that so early on I grasped his desire to be free and in my effort to make sense of it and come to terms with it, I wrote about it:

Goldfinch

That was one of the reasons I started writing, because I had so many strong emotions that I didn’t want to voice to anyone else, but I wanted to get them out of my heart onto a page and to try to grapple with them.

The awareness that this magnificent person who had come into my life needed to be free was with me right up until the last moments. Rather than trying to tie him down, keep him in a cage, admire and adore him at my convenience, I gave all I could give to letting him fly away free, full of love. I fully understood what I was doing when I went along with him to Heathrow Airport and watched him check-in before flying away.

It’s still in my mind as I proceed forward with my life and my responsibilities in a way that will not take away freedom from my Goldfinch. I say “my” – and I feel entitled to say “my” although I don’t own him. But I do feel adjoined to him, even from 10,100 miles away. He is now a permanent part of my identity.

But I will be honest with you…there were times when I wanted to plead with him:

“Don’t go, please stay with me.

I need you. I can’t be without you.

I can’t let you go, because I will be lost without you.”

There are very occasional moments when I feel angry that he is so far away. Especially now. I am trying to put off being anxious about my future and just concentrate on the little raspberry of joy  I am always mindful of. I love him. He has brought me tremendous joy. I want to love him and give to him. I can understand partly the reasons for wanting his freedom (but I don’t feel I should write about his personal history of past relationships) …and for some reason since then, he seems to cling to his freedom. That is a part of the man I love.

Then I saw another interesting quote about love and possession:

I suppose this resonates in me to a degree. Years ago I read the novel  “Villette” by Charlotte Bronte. I was really struck by the words of Lucy Snowe who said: “I like to see flowers growing, but when they are gathered, they cease to please. I look on them as things rootless and perishable; their likeness to life makes me sad. I never offer flowers to those I love; I never wish to receive them from hands dear to me.”

I understand that sentiment of not wanting to take something away from it’s natural environment, just so you can have it in a convenient location for yourself to enjoy whenever you want to. That would only cause those flowers to fade and wilt more quickly.

I can’t take someone I love so much away from the environment where he is thriving, where he is happiest and healthiest, just to make things easier for me. Instead I am…or I should be brought joy from knowing he is where he should be.

So, supporting his decision and his desire to be back in Australia was my way of showing him my love, and my appreciation for all he has given to me. However… despite all I have said, all I have written, despite the depth of my love and my understanding that love is not about possession – I am allowed to say surely that sometimes I wish he was shackled to my side!

There is a beautiful passage in the scriptures. It’s not about romantic love at all. Its the devotion Ruth expressed to her mother-in-law Naomi, but her words are so powerful and emotive, they often come to mind when I think of how I feel about Goldfinch:

Do not plead with me to abandon you, to turn back from accompanying you;

for where you go I will go, and where you spend the night, I will spend the night.

Your people will be my people, and your God my God.  

Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.

That is my honest confession of how I feel. But there are two major reasons that hold me back. Firstly, the concerns over my head injuries and how much my family want me close-ish and how much I need my other family. And the second reason is simply that Goldfinch wants freedom and I love him – so that’s all that matters.