Tag Archives: work

Chipped Confidence

I have felt a little wobbly at work lately. I think it is just tiredness and being a bit run down – my nose has been all sniffle sniffle for a couple of weeks. But I feel as if for some reason my confidence has been chipped. I am not always certain I made the right decision.

As a result, I have been noting down every decision I have made that I am not really 100% sure of so I can check them with a senior colleague at toms point.

I need more rest. I need to regain some confidence in my decision making process.

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Brrrriiiinnngggg Brrrriiiinnngggg

Friday evening is becoming a little daunting. I seem to pick up the phone to a caller with a situation that is far from simple. I am trying my best to respond professionally and to remain calm, but it sort of feels as if I am being tested with impossible situations! What I want to do is to say, “Sorry, I am new, and I don’t now what to do.”

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I am so glad to close my eyes after such a busy week. I believe the cold is going to melt away into slightly warmer temperatures over the weekend. Although my woolie hat has been absolute salvation for the past couple of weeks, I am looking forward to not having “hat hair” when I arrive at work.

Hello…Is It Me You’re Looking For?

In just one week of my new job, I have spent more time on the telephone than I did in nine months of my old job. It is so funny how different roles can involve such different ways of communicating.

Today…three of the people I spoke to on the phone said to me that I have a lovely voice. Which although it was ever so slightly odd, and perhaps a tiny bit inappropriate in view of the serious nature of the phone-calls, did bring a smile to me.

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In other news, I just happened to bump into someone yesterday that I have not seen for the almost a year…and he gave me a huge hug. When I last saw him we still had to wear face-masks at work and there were all sorts of other rules to follow. Isn’t it wonderful to be able to enjoy hugs freely?!!

Work Place Happiness

I was reading a training module last night on Equality, Diversity and Human Rights, and I became engrossed in the content and ended up reading all sorts of articles accessible through links in the training course.

There is a very broad range of examples of discrimination, unfair treatment, harassment or other areas that could essentially end up in one very unhappy person.

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But as I was reading it, I could not help thinking of how complicated situations can become because of the continuous flow of human interactions.

You have an employee who perhaps requests a reasonable adjustment from their employer due to a factor – it could be illness or injury, it could be parental or caregiving responsibilities. Their employer is happy to make those adjustments and the person is able to reduce their contracted hours.

However, the person starts to notice that other colleagues are making a lot of mistakes that are resulting in added pressure. So they speak directly to the individuals making these mistakes, in an effort to make sure they understand what is expected of them. The recipients of this feedback feel undermined and harassed. They display a clear dislike of the individual and amongst other colleagues spread the ill feeling towards them, accusing them of being a bully.

The person has to go home due to an injury. The colleagues who have formed a dislike express how pleased they are about the absence of this person.

As I was reading through the training module last night, I could not help thinking how complex human relations can sometimes become. Those receiving negative feedback about mistakes they have made interpret the situation as if they are victims of bullying. In turn they speak maliciously about they person who gave them the feedback.

Before you know it…it is a right mess!!! These situations are so often not clear-cut. Different personalities, characters, ways of communicating, different attitudes towards receiving negative feedback, different views of acceptable speech.

Remind me never to go into HR!!! What a headache that would be!

How Am I Going To Do This?

The past month has left me shattered. I have had so many anxious thoughts in connection with work. I have tried to rest more this weekend, which is not easy when I have so much to do, but I don’t feel as if I have recovered yet. Everything feels sore – my heart and mind feel battered.

I need to be fresh to start my new job with enthusiasm and give learning a new role my full attention, but right now I am scared of facing anything remotely similar.

I was talking about it with Jack over the weekend. What we do as unpaid volunteers with organizations registered as charities – is all about people. Love is the root of everything we do. The endless motivation and energy for the roles we have that yields refreshment and joy even when we are very physically tired.

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But I have just been in a situation where a lack of interest, lack of concern, lack of time, lack of sensitivity, lack of compassion – it just became demoralizing. “Wellbeing” is a sort of buzzword for many who are trying their best to voice their desire to be good employers. I respect all the words aired and published by an organization on that subject. But it has to infiltrate the entire structure of the organization. It cannot be a vague indefinable concept.

I have a genuine fear now or interacting with any other organization that could be so inept at the handling of a wellbeing issue. I have this fog in my mind that is preventing me from feeling wholly committed to a new organization until I know for certain that they are not going to act unethically.

The challenge right now is that no amount of sleep or rest is going to convince me to trust a new employer. I just have to go ahead with it and build an effective working relationship and trust that they are decent and with conscience.

I am going to have a rice cracker and some hummus and then try to rest. I need all the rest I can after the fraught month I have just experienced.

What Is My Motivation?

If you ask people what they want out of their job – many would simply say (perhaps not to their manager) that they just want to do their work and have their wages paid so they can afford to live – pay the bills, buy food etc – and not have too much stress along the way, They hope for pleasant workmates they can enjoy spending hours of daytime with.

But I have the feeling that beyond that basic motivation, there are some who have aspirations, ambitions, a career path they are eager to pursue.

My main motivation when it comes to paid work is being able to pay my rent and buy food. I have zero aspirations or ambitions. Quite the opposite in fact. Yet in every single paid job I have been in, I always end up giving feely of my time, energy and resources beyond my contracted hours, job description or the company policies.

I have given vast amounts of unpaid time to secular employers. I have taken on work that was well above my paygrade because I knew how to do it and how to do it well. I have donated stationery, cleaning equipment, balloons and decorations for special events. I have produced training manuals that were not in existence before I arrived.

There is only one reason why I have done all these things – simple kindness.

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I think sometimes what I do is misread by others. No, no, I am not interested in any promotions or career ladders, and I do wish people would understand that. There is some pity in my motivation. Very few secular organizations are organized enough not to need people who are willing to go the extra mile in all sorts of areas. But essentially, I want to make sure that work is done and lighten the burden on others. There is no other motivation.

Little One Run Free

I had cause to use one of my favourite bombshell phrases at work today. I describe it as a “bombshell phrase” because when I voice it, there is always a reaction. Some people look blank at me thinking I am some kind of scary revolutionary. Others look at me as if I am some kind of inspired prophet and speak sacred truths and wise proverbs.

The “bombshell phrase” I voiced was “WE ARE NOT BATTERY CHICKENS”.

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Both the person I addressed that phrase to, and those around me all seemed to marvel and be comforted by this.

But not long afterwards I was back at my desk and receiving cold glares because I had been absent for longer than it takes to make a coffee or use the bathroom.

I arrive at my work early every single day and stay late every single day. I never take my full lunch hour. I sit at my desk and work solidly. I don’t have my personal phone with me, I just work. I know I am doing a lot of work. I have a very good reason for not being at my desk for half an hour. A very good reason. If my colleagues were interested, they could find out the full story from HR about how I just happened to be in the right place at the right time when a colleague was in need of some human kindness.

I am not going to worry. I know something that not everyone appreciates – when you do what is right, when you do what is kind, when you do what is good – it is noticed. It is always noticed, even when you don’t think anyone does see.

What kind of people do you think will live on this earth forever?

Be Careful What You Wish For!

Did I say that I wished to have an easy transition back to the pace of the big choky smoke? They do say you should be careful what you wish for – don’t they?

In case it was someone who read my post and took me literally, I should say that I hope you did not deliberately cause havoc on my behalf. That would be very bad.

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It turns out there are some advantages of a heatwave!