Things I Never Even Wanted Until I Met Goldfinch

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I have deliberately made every effort to keep my life simple so that I could remain as a volunteer. The only men I have developed close friendships / romances with in the past where those who had the same goals in life I did. I could only ever see myself marrying someone who was going to be my partner in volunteering. I have more stories to tell you in the future of course about men in my past.

But since I have met Goldfinch…well, he is not a volunteer. He has helped charities. I had a really cute photo of him at a fund-raising games event at a local care home. But in general the type of volunteering I have been involved in has been on a very different scale. I didn’t receive any wages at all for over five years.

Since I have met Goldfinch unfamiliar thoughts have fluttered through my mind at times. Thoughts I just have never really had before. Longing for the permanence and security of a life-long mate.

The thought of what a privilege it would be to carry his child and raise him in a way that would make his Dadda and his grandparents really proud.

The thought of sharing a contented family home full of the warmth and security my parents provided me with. The fun we could have as a family. Teaching little ones to read and write, how to ride a bike and climb trees, how to cook and clean and sew and paint.

I have never really had a desire for any of these things before. It’s so strange what happens when you meet a man who stirs up love and respect and admiration and loyalty in you. It messes with your head. Thoughts that never interested you before start swimming around.

It’s probably a good thing that Goldfinch is on his way to Australia.

If he stayed…I don’t know what crazy things I might start wanting!

 

 

 

22 thoughts on “Things I Never Even Wanted Until I Met Goldfinch”

          1. I know the saying, but in all honesty, I think in my case it was that kindness attracted me. From the moment I met him, Goldfinch has been gorgeous to me! So lovely and kind. That’s where the attraction has been.

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    1. I have some friends who say that whenever one of them feels they want to do something that would majorly change their life, they discuss it and they always agree to allow a couple of months to see how they both feel about the decision. I think I realized as a teenager that I needed to control my impulsive tendencies! Although in some ways, it’s fun that I am always first to jump up on the table and start dancing, I have really tried to hold myself back from making impulsive decisions in areas that would change my way of life permanently.

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      1. That’s a good plan. I do it with big purchases – if I still want it even a few months later, I buy it. So let yourself get over the “impulse” bit and give yourself a few months to reflect. I mean, if you decide you want to be with him you might be forced into a corner – either UK immigration for him or Aussie immigration for you. You’d maybe have to be prepared to leave family behind but there are all sorts of ways of communicating these days. We don’t find love very often in life but I think we do regret chances we never took, so, if it were me I’d probably follow it through, but I’m just a silly old sod – give it a few months and hopefully you’ll know whether you want to pursue him.

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