I Behaved Like Such A Diva

I started today on a bad note. Every week the local bakery reserve a large sliced dark sourdough loaf for me. It is the only bread I have found that I really really enjoy (other than the caramelised garlic bread, the olive bread, fruity breads or brioche – but I can’t use those as my everyday breakfast bread). When it comes to a normal dark loaf, there is only one loaf I have found that I enjoy and doesn’t make me feel ill.

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Every week I go in and the have my loaf ready for me under the counter. This has happened for months. This week I asked if I could have two loaves, because I have some friends coming over to stay and everyone loves this bread when they taste it. They said “of course, we’ll have two loaves waiting for you”.

Well, this morning I went to collect my two loaves and there was no bread for me at all. The lovely lady who I normally see was not there, apparently she was on holiday. So they had put the loaves that are usually reserved for me onto the shelves and they had been sold already by the time I arrived.

I went into the kind of mini-meltdown that only divas are capable of. Awful! I don’t think I would have, if it wasn’t for the manager telling me that they do not reserve a loaf for me. She said they never reserve a loaf for me. I was baffled. I was quite calm, but I explained it was not my imagination that every Saturday for months, I have arrived and a loaf of bread with my name on the outside of the bag, is under the counter.

My bread, my lovely lovely bread. No bread this week. ūüė¶ But worse still is the awareness that I threw a diva wobbly because of not having my bread. Pathetic! I do not like divas. And today I was one! I am heartily ashamed. But I am still sulking, because I have nothing to eat for breakfast tomorrow. At least I have some juice.

Still Falling

Jack being away for a whole week is hard. Especially as not long after he comes back, we are going to tell our families that we are a couple. I kind of wish we had been together to talk more about the holidays.

falWe have had autumn (that’s fall for those who are a few hours behind Greenwich Mean Time) alone together…and it’s been very wonderful. But things are about to change. I have been thinking about it for a long time.

I have been so busy lately, I haven’t yet thought about exactly what to say. I travel up north on the 20th December. As soon as I arrive, it will be pandamonium. There will be little ones running around. There will be lots of chatter and noise, music, games, films. There is no peace at all for the Finch family.

Shall I just mention it to perhaps my parents, or one of my sisters first, and then see how they react? Usually once you share some news with one family member, within an hour everyone else knows.

Couple about to KissBut the words…what do I say? I thought I could say that I had a surprise telephone call a few months ago. I could say that Jack had called to try to heal the rift, to make peace. Then I could wait and see how they react. How do I get from there to admitting that he and I have been seeing each other ever since and having weekends away, and him staying here in my little nest? How is that going to go down?

I am sure that eventually they will be happy. But I am suddenly nervous because I realize they are going to have a shock. There will be questions, lots of questions, and a lot of concern.

But at least it will be official. Then back to London…and we will start to spend time together with friends. Hmm. It’s going to be an interesting few weeks ahead. Perhaps I will just hibernate and let Jack tell everyone instead?

Life is not going to be boring though. I am sure that the shocker Jack and I are going to deliver to friends and family is going to give me lots to write about next year! Meanwhile…I am still falling for him in so many ways!

Riya Really Has Nominated Me For The Liebster Award

Riya, the creator of WORLD OF MY THOUGHTS, really has nominated me for THE LIEBSTER AWARD, this time. Here is the proof:

https://worldofmythoughts2017.wordpress.com/2019/10/12/liebster-award2/

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Award Rules:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you – THANK YOU RIYA!
2. Share 11 facts about yourself.
3. Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
4. Nominate 11 bloggers and make them happy!
5. Make up to 11 questions and ask to your nominees.
6. Notify your 11 nominees.

Questions From Riya

What really makes you angry?

Girl, Sitting, Tailor Seat, Cross-LeggedI don’t often show my anger, so not many people would know the answer to that question. I find myself becoming more and more shocked at how spoilt some western people seem. Already with far far more than over half the world’s population…but it is never enough. People who want more and more, and don’t realize how many of our fellow human family live on $1 or $2 a day. I often wonder if they think about what they are saying when they complain.

I feel angry inside when I hear people say things that indicate they feel there is nothing wrong with the world the way it is. When they display a love for things and having more and more. More money, more possessions, bigger and better. When they show that all they think about is themselves. When they show they do not care about the poverty and deprivation in the world. When it’s clear that pollution, crime, warfare, disease have not yet touched them personally and so their whole attitude to life is “I’m alright Jack!” (The allegorical Jack, not my Jack.)

I am shocked by people who deny the atrocious criminal acts like the Holocaust, or they think it inconsequential that there is so much bloodguilt due to horrendous injustices like the Crusades, or the invasion of other lands in a mercenary spirit. I have such an aversion to racism, superiority of race, “class” systems and the mistreatment of members of our human family.

I feel anger inside, but it is very rare that anybody sees me express anger.

annabelle angryIn the past I had less caution when it came to challenging those who made me very angry, because I saw them as callous and dangerous. I remember a heated exchange between me and a drug-dealer, who I realized had started to hang around some of the teeagers I was working with on voluntary projects. I don’t think I would do that now, there have been so many stabbings in London over the past few years. The climate has changed.

That chap by the way, after what I said to him…I found out later that whatever I said really did affect him. He got very drunk that night I was told later. And then the next day told his cousin about what I had said. I just happened to move to that area around a year a later, and he followed me around like a puppy. I was told that he had cleaned up his life. Two years later he asked me to marry him. But the point is,¬† wouldn’t get angry and shout at a drug-dealer nowadays. Not that they don’t deserve it, but it could be very dangerous.

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

salad

I couldn’t do that. I need variety. I would go crazy having the same meal every day. But if I was forced to eat the same meal over and over, it would have to have green vegetables. I feel poorly if I don’t have plenty of green vegetables. So yes, I guess I would have to choose either a big salad or a dish or cooked vegetables…and I wouldn’t mind some rice, or bread on the side to stodge it all out a bit.

What is your biggest fear?

warzonePeople I love doing something stupid, and I mean that in a moral sense. I mean them committing horrific crimes. Especially in the future, when the issue of rulership comes to a head.

When all mankind has to face the decision of who should rule, what if people I love choose human rulership? What if they tried to attack violently those who want our Creator to rule?  Why would they feel that way when the results of human rulership are so obviously dreadful? Would people I love be swept up with the propaganda and actually go out and commit horrific acts of violence?

When people are blinded by propaganda they sometimes go out and do terrible things believing they are right or righteous. I fear someone I love going out and committing such atrocities and not being able to reason with them.

I fear those I love becoming so swept up with propaganda that they end up doing wicked things.

What has been your best moment this year?

Oh wow! So hard to pick. It’s a close call. Life has been a bit of a chequer board this year.

wow momwntGoing to the Doctor because I had been feeling so ill and being told to take a pregnancy test was a big moment. A very big moment. And it was wonderfully exciting. But later, pain came.

Being with Goldfinch in the summer was really special – I was living the dream, truly – and I felt pure happiness right up until I realized it was time to say goodbye and return to England. After intense happiness, pain came.

Receiving that phone-call from Jack was incredible. Meeting up with him for the first time in over four years was terrifying, but it turned out to be remarkable. I just hope this happiness does not result in pain.

If You Could Live Anywhere In The World For A Year, Where Would It Be?

I would have loved to have stayed out in Adelaide for a year with Goldfinch. I was so happy there. I loved what I saw of Australia. But it was being with him that meant so much.

jack and caramel1.jpgThings have changed of course, since the summer. It would be wonderful to spend a year travelling around either the whole of Africa, or South America, with Jack. I have a dream of travelling the whole world together with the man I love. Travelling as slowly as is possible, by boat and on foot. Truly immersing ourselves in the culture and cuisine everywhere we go.

How do you relieve stress?

I try to avoid stress. I keep my lifestyle simple and I live within my means. If I detect I am starting to feel a bit worked up, which can happen when the pace is crazy at work, I just take a few moments to remind myself that no matter how much work there is to do, I need to remain calm in order to listen to clients and respond effectively. We can’t afford to make mistakes.

sparksIf there is stress in my personal life, I remind myself that we all have challenges in our lives. Many of them are temporary. I try to cheer myself by thinking of all the beautiful, all the wonderful there is in life. It helps me feel I can endure anything until our Creator puts things right and undoes the damage.

If I need help to get control of my thoughts, I might speak to a close friend or family member. I pray as well. I find that helps enormously and it helps me keep my balance. Often solutions come to my mind on how to deal with stressful situations while I am praying.

Would You Rather Go To Space Or To The Bottom Of The Ocean?

Ocean for me. I have always loved swimming and since I was a very little girl I have wanted to research whales. Especially the blue whale.

Blue whale

It is a dream of mine to study our oceans and the life that dwells within them.

What’s your favorite season?

Summer – hands down, no competition. I love the summer time for the kind of life I lead during the summer!

What’s your favorite sports?

I have always loved sports. I love running around. I like to play in defence because I have no fear of tackling anyone and I don’t tire of energy…but I have very little skill, so I try to win the ball and then pass it to a team-mate who is more skillful.

best sportOf all the sports I have enjoyed, I think my favourite was basketball. I started to play every Friday evening every Friday evening, with a group of friends. There would be anywhere between ten and thirty of us, mostly men, but a few girlies.  I absolutely loved playing basketball before my head injuries. It was so much fun.

I wonder if I should remind Jack of the time he laughed when a friend of ours, Dwayne, knocked me flying and I landed on my behind. All the guys rushed over to make sure I was alright except Jack. Jack laughed! I was fuming with him. Well…if I do mention it, it will be in a nice way.

Ice cream or milkshakes?

havenot hadI am not very good with dairy. So I have not had a milkshake for a long time. I would have to choose a dairy free ice-cream.

Recently, I was over at a friend’s home for dinner and she had bought me some dairy free ice-cream to have with the dessert she had made.

It was Alpro Almond Salted Caramel. I think it is made with almond milk. But there was a lot of caramel sauce and caramel chunks going on in the middle. Very nice.

New York or Paris?

Is this for a short visit, or to live long term?

to live.pngIn the past I would have said New York for a visit – seems like a very exciting place to visit. But Paris to live. (However, seeing all those protests has kind of put me off Paris.)

I would choose Paris to live partly because it is closer to England, where my family are, because their food and bread are amazing, and because I would love to polish up my French. Jack speaks fluent French. He lived there for a couple of years. I love the sense of culture that I have seen when I have been in France. I love the boulangeries and the patisseries and the countryside. But I don’t know Paris. I would like to explore Paris at a leisurely pace.

But yes, I have always wanted to visit New York for a short time. Did I tell you already that Jack is in New York for a week?

Eleven Questions For My Nominees

  1. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
  2. HAVE YOU EVER VISITED LONDON? IF YOU WERE GOING TO COME FOR THE FIRST TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE?
  3. IF THERE WAS A CRIME IN YOUR HOME, WHICH LITERARY OR TELEVISION DETECTIVE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SOLVE IT?
  4. WHAT KIND OF LUNCH DO YOU TAKE TO OR BUY AT WORK?
  5. DESCRIBE THE PERFECT FOOTWEAR FOR YOU?
  6. DO YOU GET NERVOUS AT PARTIES OR BIG SOCIAL EVENTS?
  7. WHAT’S THE HOUSEHOLD CHORE THAT YOU DREAD THE MOST?
  8. DO YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY GRAB BAG? IF SO WHAT’S IN IT? IF NOT – WHY NOT?
  9. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMOUS FRIENDS? OR HAVE YOU MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
  10. WHEN SOMEONE REVEALS YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE – IS YOUR FIRST IMPULSE TO DEFEND YOURSELF AND EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED, OR DO YOU QUICKLY ADMIT YOUR MISTAKE AND APOLOGISE?
  11. WHO CUTS YOUR HAIR? HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE IT CUT?

My Eleven Nominees