Making A Swift Escape

Last night I was with some friends. I headed over to the home of one of my friends straight after work, thinking that I would be later than others. But, it seemed that I was one of the earliest to arrive.

One of the girls already there was that lovely friend of mine who drove me up to North Wales recently and played hours of the music created by one particular musician to me. She clearly wanted to talk to us about Taylor Swift. Which was fine. Friday night, talking about music is not a bad idea. It’s obvious our level of interest is negligible compared to her’s. My friend is well within the realms of besotted fandom. I have mentioned in the past I don’t understand fandom myself. I just like a little bit of lots of different music  genres, and I like variety. I don’t really want to listen to more than two songs in a row by the same artist.

My friend wanted to tell us all about some kind of disagreement Taylor Swift is having with some chap who is not on my radar at all – who apparently bought her old music label and therefore owns the original master recordings of her music creations. Honestly, I don’t want music to be political. I used to work for a record company. I am aware of a lot of “goings-on” within the entertainment industry that…well, I chose to leave the music industry for more than one reason. But I still have friends who work in the music industry, both as musicians and in music management, and as radio station DJs and working as sound engineers for musicians. I hear about all sorts of dramas going on.

My friend wanted us to watch the recent performance from her favourite artist at an award show. But it was going to be long, and definitely more than one song. She played the beginning, which to those of us who are not ofay with this dispute, seemed to be a little odd. That’s not a criticism, we just didn’t understand the significance of the start of the performance because we had no knowledge of the scale of this grievance. Apparently, there was a hidden meaning in the first part of the performance, but my friend didn’t have chance to explain it to us.

Anyway…just as she was flinging off her white shirt to reveal her sparkly number underneath, some of our other friends arrived. They came in very excited and began telling us of the awful afternoon they had experienced because of their locality to London Bridge, where there was another terror related incident yesterday. As you can imagine, our attention was swiftly diverted to our other friends. We had lots of questions for them and some of my friends started to google news reports to find out what had happened. Conversation about what happened dominated the rest of the evening.

My lovely friend didn’t get the chance to show us the whole of Taylor Swift’s performance afterall. She wanted me to watch it before I left last night, but I was having such a terrible coughing fit (you know when you cough so hard, you feel a bit of pee escape) that I said my goodbyes so I could get back home. I felt I needed to make a swift escape (excuse the pun) before my coughing became worse.

Anyway, when I woke up this morning, she had emailed me a link so I could watch it. I was so sleepy this morning (this cough is really taking it out of me) and I knew I needed to wake up and get ready to go out. But I was so tired! Anyway, I decided to click the link so I could watch the performance. It certainly woke me up! Feeling energised I made a swift exit from my bed and jumped in the shower singing away.

It was coooooooooool! I don’t know all the songs. But I know “Shake It Off” and the last song, she performed. I really like those two. So, I have to remember to text my friend to tell her I watched it and thought it was great. As for Taylor Swift, well, it just looked as if she was having an amazing time on stage and loving every minute. The audience too, looked as if they were having a great time and loving the show. To me, that is what music is all about. So it was a delight to watch someone who clearly likes what she does.

Anyway, I thought it was so entertaining, I thought I would pop the same link my friend sent me onto the end of this post.

Tiny Pink Flutters

Only you…only you, who knows my name.

Will it always be this way? Do you want me to keep reading in between the lines? Looking out for clues meant for me only? Or will there be a direct heart to heart?

You have said enough for me to never ask any awkward questions. But it would be joyful to share a something with you. A secret something perhaps. Lines we never need to cross. Questions we never need to ask. A secret code for only you and I.

I don’t need an explanation. But perhaps I do need an invitation. Do you want me to watch over you on your journey? Do you want me to be that listening ear that is rooting for you? Do you want me to offer my hand should you fall again? Do you want to rest on my shoulder and weep a while? Or shall we just run, run like children through golden sun-kissed fields?

I don’t want to cause trouble. But if you want me to take your hand and follow you on your journey, I am here.

Tiny pink flutters marching through me.

 

 

 

Jack In The Big Apple

Jack is heading to New York for just less than a week in December. He seems to have an invitation for so many exciting events. There is no way he can go to everything. Most of his public appearances or events are in connection with charities he works with.

But every now and then he gets all excited to receive an invite to something that is not connected with his work as a volunteer. It’s more to do with his work in entertainment and his friends in that industry.

But he has managed to pad out his week with some training at a center in New York where a lot of the projects he has been involved in are coordinated from. So most of the week in New York will be “business” – well, volunteer business – and then he has this event he is super excited about right in the middle of his time there.

I don’t have it in me to be jealous. I am just amazed at how he seems to gets to go to so many interesting events and places, and seems to meet, or already know, so many people who are famous for one reason or another.

I love him. But sometimes, I am also a bif in awe of him. I don’t think that is a bad thing. It’s the volunteer spirit he has that is what is more significant to me than his involvement in the entertainment industry. He is my very own Magical Mister Mistoffelees!

Do I wish I was tagging along with him? Yes. But mainly because I will miss him and because I wish I was with him always. Just so I could marvel at his charismatic, gregarious, lovable ways. And I am an eency weency bit curious about the city of New York.

Hope he takes lots of photos for me. This is Jack…he will be taking selfies and photos every five minutes!

Not A Romance As Such

You know…the thing about Jack and me…it’s not been some incredible romance. (Although he can be romantic it turns out.) It’s been so normal. You might even say boring – although, nothing is ever boring with Jack.

What I mean is, he and I have been mostly cocooned. Outside we have been in the car, or walking in the woods, twice on the beach. We have been to a few cafes, and a couple of pubs – but way way out of London.

Then the time inside, we have lolloped a lot. We have been in cottages, lodges, a couple of hotel rooms, and at my flat. I can’t go to his because that would give the game up! We have sat on the sofa entangling our limbs and chatting. We have watched a couple of movies. We have played monopoly twice, we have played cards a few times. We have listened to music and looked at photographs. We have eaten pretty basic meals – pasta, rice, bread and cheese (for him, hummus for me – I am not good with dairy), and we have drank coffee, tea and wine.

Not especially exciting. Except, it has been so important. All he needed to do was to make things clear to me, and not be so hard to read, so hard to understand. I don’t know whether it’s him always being aware of his public persona, but I couldn’t make any sense of him before. He was so contradictory.

Spending time together seems to have been vital. Once we start spending time with other people, it will be different. I am going to have to be secure when I see him put on his public face, and his celebrity persona. I am going to have to remember, that no matter what might irk me (and I remember what is used to be like) when we go home, it is Jack. I am in love with the man, not the public image. I am in love with the man.

I love people! Very much. But I am not going to let anyone ruin this for us. I love him ok. And I know that will be tested when family, friends and then strangers find out about Jack dating me. But…I keep on remembering what it has been like to live four years estranged from the man I knew had a bigger impact on me than anyone else I have met. I do not want to lose him again.

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Thank You For Your Patience

This year 2019 – I have had much to be thankful for. Indeed I am so grateful for the wonderful that has happened, it has fueled a long long list of posts expressing my excitement and astonishment at times.

Besides the spectacular events of this year 2019, I have all the wonderful that I have had for many years – a gorgeous and loving family, friends who are fun and supportive and delightful, a sweet home, and although my possessions are very few, I know I have more than I need of everything. I was thinking of turning this post into a long list of everything I am thankful for, but I have already read a hundred posts from other bloggers like that, and so I thought I would mention something else I have turned out to be thankful for.

I have mentioned in other posts that I have had this cold/chest infection…it’s almost three weeks since it started and I am still coughing. Anyway, it has turned out to be very helpful. Why? – you may ask.

Well…you may know that I have been writing my very first long fiction project. My series about Annabelle Riley. I think there are over eighty sections so far. I never expected it to be this long. Since I began Annabelle’s story I have been wondering how it was going to end. I am going to say something that I am hoping you will understand: SO MUCH OF HER STORY HAS WRITTEN ITSELF. It just kept on flowing out of me. But how would it end? I did not know for a long time.

I thought I had finished her story. On Monday I will publish a part called “Contentment”. That was supposed to be the end of the story. But although it is a nice section, it didn’t feel right. I knew that was not the end. The problem I was having was, I have been so happy in myself for weeks (ever since Jack invaded my life) that I couldn’t get my head into gear to work on a more realistic ending to the story.

Then I developed this yucky gunky cold/chest infection. It was just what I needed! I have felt so exhausted and weak while I have been ill, that I finally was able to think about the battle that Annabelle has been fighting for years. She may have had some positive developments in her life, but I realized that just because her life was going well, it didn’t mean that she was better.

So finally, I realized that there had to an unexpected twist to her story. I also needed to concentrate on the relationships she has with Robin and Chris. Throughout the story, I was wondering how the relationships between them were developing and why. But the twist in Annabelle’s story, puts a new perspective on those relationships.

I found that this stinking cold lasting so long has helped me think more realistically about the challenge that Annabelle faces. I am thrilled with finally being able to bring her story to completion and to leave it without too many loose ends. I am hoping now you will feel the story ends on a positive but realistic note.

I started writing this story at the end of July and I believe that when it is finished there are around one hundred parts! One hundred parts! Crazy! I have loved developing characters, letting dialogue lead the story, and imagining how a young woman with a mental health issue that she has been trying to hide for years would progress, as the people she loves and that love her, appeal to her not to give up.

I am proud of Annabelle Riley! And thanks to this persistent cold, I am especially proud of the end of her story!

Thank you for your patience as I have weaved my way through her story. Thank you for all of the amazing support and encouragement from all of you who have read, liked and posted wonderful comments. I have been so touched by those comments and it has impelled me to try to do Annabelle justice and make sure that her story ends on a real but rewarding note.

There are about twelve parts scheduled to be published, bringing Annabelle’s story to an end. I even have a section exclusively for her series within the menu section on my blog. It is called “ANNABELLE RILEY – LEARNER AT LOVE”, which I find a very tempting title for her story. I really hope you enjoy the way her story ends.

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This was my response to the writing prompt from Sarah Elizabeth Moore

https://sarahelizabethmoore.org/2019/11/24/writing-prompt-47/

I Would Have Waited

My darling Jack. I am so happy he called me that day. I am so so happy. It’s still slightly incredible to me, even though the last couple of months have felt so right that it feels as if it has always been this way.

Changes sometimes come as a surprise don’t they. I had the surprise of the century. But I have tried to fully cooperate with it. It seemed so obviously wonderful – why would I resist that change?

No matter what happens in the future, the peace Jack has brought me, will always be priceless. All of the excitement, all of the special with him – is an amazing bonus.

I would have gone on as I was before. I loved Goldfinch so much. I would have worked had to save as much money as possible in order to save up to afford another plane ticket to Australia. I was so so so happy when I was out in Australia with him. Of course I wanted to go again. Of course I did. It’s hard to think of not being with him like that again. Really hard.

But things happened. Jack appeared – a bolt out of the blue. I was not expecting it. There was no way I was going to turn down a second chance with Jack – the man who has had a bigger impact on me than any other.

If it hadn’t been for Jack, I would have waited, I would have patiently waited until either I had to money to fly out there, or until Goldfinch came over here to England. But working extra hours to afford to go to Australia was tiring I have to admit. My life was intense for many months. I was living on a shoestring budget. I was eating well, because I have so many wonderful friends who kept on inviting me over for dinner so I could save my money. But it was hard. Sigh.

Love him still. I would have waited. I am not someone who likes to ever admit limits to how much I love, or how long I would wait for. But I was tired. I will admit that. Tired…yet energised at the same time. Love can do that to you. You press on despite the tiredness, because you love.

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Heart To Hearts

There is a verse that I often think about when I am talking with friends and colleagues.

“…out of the heart’s abundance his mouth speaks” – LUKE 6:45

Sometimes, the conversation is dominated by clothes, shoes, handbags. At other times, the conversation is all about challenges at work. Or what is going on with our family or in our love lives. I can’t talk about Jack yet. But I am sure I will do a lot next year.

I try to remember that sometimes it is a good idea to try to steer the conversation in positive directions. I dislike unkind gossip, I shut it down.

But I have been thinking a lot these past few months about what really matters, and more and more I try to ask my friends what they think is the purpose of life, what they believe the future holds, how will we see a clean earth, free from corruption, on which everyone feels cared for.

It’s very interesting to hear my friends give their opinions. I did an online course recently, and I have been sharing what I learn with my friends. All over London me and my friends have been looking at scriptures on their phones or i-pads. We’ve been reading about God’s Kingdom and it’s manifesto. It’s so refreshingly different from the baffling election news. We are smiling at the thought of this beautiful planet being under the care of our Creator.

Jack and I have had lots of fascinating discussions too. I told him I prayed about him and it was shortly afterwards that he saw me and decided to call me. He said he has prayed about me too. He said he prayed many times about what he should do. It sends tingles down my spine to think that all of that time, when I thought he was my enemy, Jack was praying, and I was praying. Our Father heard those prayers and knew the right time to answer them.

It’s all much more interesting than designer handbags. In fact, I realized long ago, I have zero interest in designer handbags. I am fascinated by prayer. I would love to learn more about the miracle of prayer.

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