Resistance Is Futile

resistence.jpgI have found the last few days a bit distressing reading about this Borg-like entity, apparently registered in India, that is assimilating all of our blogs. I am baffled by it all and very upset that it has caused some of my favourite bloggers to feel they need to close down their sites.

Blogging to me is just a bit of fun, a hobby, and it gives me the chance to think about my family and loved ones, and what I want them to remember if my head injuries wreak even more havoc on my life than they have already. But for those who are serious and talented writers and have works they need to protect, I understand the concern they have felt. It’s great to see Captain James T Fandango coming up with a way to wage battle against the borg-bots. Hold on wrong captain…I  mean Captain Jean-Luc Fandango don’t I?

bad reactionI am a bit late in response to lots of prompts, nominations for awards and writing challenges at the moment. But I am working on them. There is a lot going on in my drafts folder – I have fifty posts in progress!!! My philosophy is BETTER LATE THAN NEVER…but if you are looking out for my response to a nomination or tag, by all means give me a shout!

Some prompts I just cannot resist, like FANDANGO’S PROVOCATIVE QUESTION:

What are the three biggest challenges your country (or, if you prefer, the world) is facing right now?

Well, I don’t think I can provide a detailed answer to that question, as it would cast a cloud over my otherwise sunny disposition. But amongst those challenges are these three:

  • more more.pngGREED

I am going to spend a little longer considering the alternative question Fandango provided as this week’s FANDANGO’S PROVOCATIVE QUESTION:

What are the three biggest challenges you are facing in your life right now?

Fandango asked us a similar question a few months ago and I appointed him as Doctor Fandango. If you would like to see how I answered back then, this was my post.

Dr Fandango Will See You Now

dr fandango.jpg

So what about now? What am I finding challenging now? Hmm…let me think about this. I have challenges like everyone else. Some little and some large. But I do find I have a great deal of resilience and pragmatism when it comes to my challenges. I don’t find myself overcome with anxiety about too many things on a personal level. What does get to me are things that I cannot control.

challengesONE OF MY CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS IS VERY ILL. Cancer. I am not writing in detail about it at the moment, because it would no doubt lead to a torrential outpouring of emotions, and it’s all a bit overwhelming right now.

What doesn’t help perhaps, is that so many of my family, myself included, have worked in the medical field for years. Doctors, nurses and carers. I worked with patients with terminal illness for five years. So we are all so clued up on cancer, it is hard to resist worry!

up sticks.jpgBut I have been making decisions and changes to my life that mean I can be there for my family member more often, and can literally up sticks and move at a moment’s notice. I will write about the changes I have made at a later date. I have been a busy lady since I came back from Australia.

IMG_20180722_123051 (2)I AM MISSING GOLDFINCH. Aaaaagh! Matters of the heart. It is not easy to be in love with a man that lives on the opposite side of the planet to you.

Well, the loving is easy. It’s the thought of how long will it be until I can be with him again? I had such an amazing time in Australia. And I have come back to England more in love than ever and completely baffled as to how I am going to face months ahead without him.

self control.jpgLong distance relationships bring challenges that can be hard to understand. Challenges that I don’t think I have faced before. For example…when you are feeling low, wishing you had someone to offer comfort and affection, but the person you know you were wishing was here, is not here, nowhere near, 10,100 miles away – then the temptation to respond to the friendliness of someone else who is attractive to you is huge. Sigh! Especially when the person nearer to you seems so lovely and so kind and excites you….and you have no idea if you will see the person you are attached to this year or not. It is a great test of your self-control.

I will say this – I honestly believe that married couples who decide that economically it would be best for one to work or study abroad are putting themselves and their marriage at great risk.

When you are separated by distance from the person who claims your heart, but there is someone right here right now who makes you smile and feel warm and fuzzy inside – it is hard to resist. I have resisted.

vols.jpgI AM STILL NOT WHERE I BELONG. I am still unable to go back to my life and career because of my head injuries. That is a cloud that doesn’t seem to want to shift. So I am still just making my way in the world today with everything I’ve got. Having a break from all my worries sure would mean a lot. I am always wishing to be back where everyone knows my name, was always glad I came and they all felt the same.

I crave a sense of purpose in my life. Existing without a cause is not an option for me. The work I was involved in as a volunteer provided inspiration, satisfaction and prompted tremendous energy in me. Oh how I long to be back there – alongside other people who are not interested in financial gain but are devoted to making a difference to the lives of others.

eventsThere is one man who prevents me from moving back to the area I was living in and working with more of my former colleagues who have decision making power over my future as an international volunteer. Jack. And nothing has changed on the Jack front. He is still there, right in the middle of all the volunteer projects on that side of London. He is one of the most popular volunteers. He still has a crazy amount of fans and followers. He is still on television and at huge events (and small events). I am still being careful and am anxious in case I am at the same event and somebody connects the two of us or snaps a photograph of us near to each other. I can’t abide photos of me in reference to Jack being spread again. Can I trust Jack will be able to resist returning to his thoughtless ways of fuelling the media interest he had because of his connection with me? It forces me to hide away and take pains to avoid him. Many an evening has gone pear-shaped because I realized Jack was present at an event and I had to beat a hasty retreat.


therapyThank you Doctor Fandango for my blogging therapy session. I hope you received the cheque in the post for my last therapy session and look forward to receiving your invoice this time round.

I hope I am not giving you a headache reading all about my challenges. Challenges can be good for us, or not – depending on the challenge. But they sure do make you realize what really counts in life.

Whatever challenges you are dealing with currently, keep going! Keep positive, we are rooting for you. We all long for a world where the most painful challenges are removed, and instead we can get back to making this beautiful planet the paradise it should be. Roll on the good times ahead, when the greatest challenge will be: how on earth are we going to keep in touch with so many wonderful friends???



This post was my response to this week’s FANDANGO’S PROVOCATIVE QUESTION:


Cakes, Coppers, Capers and Cop-Outs

thinking.jpgI have had quite a week let me tell you! Decisions decisions! All will be revealed at a later date. But let’s say I came back from Australia realizing a few things, including that I need to be in North Wales more often, and I also need to get back to Australia as soon as possible, but not in their summer – way too hot for me!

I did enjoy these light-hearted questions  that Melanie, the creator of  sparksfromacombustiblemind, gave us for this week’s SHARE-YOUR-WORLD:

Is it wrong to sell store-bought pastries at a bake sale?

Great question! We did a cake sale for charity. I baked a lot of cupcakes, as did another member of staff. Our manager who did not have time, nor baking experience spent a whole chunk of money on buying Minions cupcakes from the supermarket. But the rest of the team did not bother baking or contributing – although they did buy some cakes which is a good thing.

At the end of the day all the money raised went to charity, so who cares whether the cakes were home-made or shop bought?

Have you ever interacted with the police?

Oh yes! Me and the police go way back!

bobby.jpgWhen I was a little girl we temporarily lost mum in the local shopping center. Mum, who was pushing baby Milly in the big Victorian pram, was a bit annoyed because Mandy and I were squabbling. When we looked around and she had disappeared I came to the conclusion that Mumma had abandoned us because we had been naughty. So I said to Mandy we should tell the police man standing a short distance away, which is exactly what I did. The policeman told us to stand next to him and asked what our mum looked like. Mum came rushing out of the bakery (she had gone into buy us a snack for the long walk home, as she always did) panicking when she realized we had not followed her in.

When I was a teenager the police came round to our house when someone broke into our shed and stole our bikes.

Manchester bombThe father of one of my close friends was a policeman. Lovely chap. Scary stories (mostly told to us by his wife) but lovely man.

On Saturday 15th June 1996 I was knocked over by a policewoman when walking past Top Shop in the Arndale Shopping Center with my shopping bags. That was the day an IRA bomb exploded destroying the Manchester city center.

police tapeI worked as a steward at the Manchester Arena. Twice we had to evacuate the arena during events because of bomb scares. We worked alongside the police on both occasions.

In 2008 or 2009, I was driving along a road and a police car started to flash it’s lights and indicated to me to pull over. It was because the car I was driving had a faulty light at the back. I had not realized. When they asked if I was the owner and I explained that it belonged to my employer, but I was insured to drive the car, they checked my license and insurance. Right up until the moment they gave me the all clear and confirmed everything was fine, they were rather scary and unfriendly. It was not a nice experience at all.

After I was attacked, I had a lot of interaction with police…and even now I am still contacted occasionally with regards to what happened that night.

police.jpgLast week I was at work when there was an enormous crash of thunder, the loudest I have ever heard. Shortly afterwards fire engines arrived and the police shut the main road off. It turned out lightning had struck the bell tower (it is all bent out of shape) and the roof was on fire. There is still debris all over the pavement outside. I offered to top up the water bottles for the police because it was a very hot day – the hottest recorded temperature in England actually.

What will you remember most about this past year (this question will show up again, in late December, just FYI)

victoria squareI am sure I will remember my trip to Australia – it really has been the big event. It has meant so much to be with Goldfinch again. I have come back to England determined to try to get back to him as soon as I can afford it. And I would love more time to explore Adelaide and see the new friends I made.

The saddest event of course was losing my little apricot. This has been an event in my life that I am never going to forget. I think of her (and of course, I don’t know if my little apricot was a girl or a boy) pretty much every day, fast asleep in Snowdonia. It has been a big year really.

Is it better to have fungus on your toes, your tongue, or your pizza?

funghiSurely the pizza??? I mean sometimes I even order in a pizzeria “pizza ai funghi” – mushroom pizza which is yummy.

I worked in pharmacy for some time, and fungus on any part of your body is not a good thing and can be difficult to get rid of.

Whereas, the aforementioned mushroom pizza – well I could demolish one of those quite easily.

What is one slang word that makes your skin crawl?

Ooooh, I am not sure. I hear all sorts of expressions which are diverse to say the least. I just like the flavour and personality they bring to the English language. I don’t like swear words.

sub words

There is one word that I try not to use, but I have failed to eradicate it from my vocabulary, particularly from my spoken language. My English teacher expressed her disdain for the word “got” or “get”. She said people use it unnecessarily in a lazy fashion. They are all a “cop-out” from using a variety of other words in your vocabulary.

Mrs MorganFor example she would tell us:

“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts” should be “I have a lovely bunch of coconuts”

“I’m gonna get a new car” should be “I’m going to buy a new car”

“I’m getting old” should be “I’m growing old.”

I remember her saying that those words, “got”, “get” and “getting” will be the death of the English language!