I am trying to write a letter to Goldfinch…and for some strange reason I am lost for words. It’s not like me. I have written many words of love to him in the past twenty months.
In fact I have probably written too many words, in too many letters and e-mails. But there have been times when i have been absolutely bursting with love for him…and I wrote it down. I poured my heart out onto a page and put it in an envelope with a first class stamp on it to send it off to Coventry…or just pressed send. While Goldfinch has been in Australia, I have emailed and texted and we have spoken on the phone.
But now I want to write a beautiful letter in my own hand-writing. And yet…I have writer’s block!!! It’s awful. It’s not that the feelings that are lacking – oh no not at all. I am holding back, I think, because I don’t want to be too intense. I don’t want to send him something that is nonsensical. I want to come across perfectly balanced, composed, rational. But writing a rational love letter is not the easiest thing to do – let me tell you.
It’s weird. All the time he was in England, I was only ever able to spend a day or two with him. So my long messages in between seemed perfectly appropriate. But after being with Goldfinch for a longer time period, I am frightened that he won’t want me to be gushing with romantic silliness.
Problem is…I am more in love than ever. More eager to keep his attention. More desperate for his affection. More frustrated at being so far away. More impatient to be back with him soon. More terrified than I have ever been that if I get something wrong, if I choose the wrong words, if I miss something out…I might lose him.
Love, my friends, can be tortuous!
When I was in my twenties I started to go walking for miles in the area I lived in. And I mean miles. I have walked from Wigan to Liverpool often. (Google Maps if you are interested in the distance) Wigan to Southport, Wigan to Manchester. But most of my walks were exploring the Lancashire countryside. Sometimes I didn’t know where I was going, I just headed out on country tracks and public footpaths and tried to keep a sense of my bearings so that I could return home before it was dark.
I was usually alone when I walked. It was a “healing” time for me. I had experienced my first encounter of what could be termed depression – although I didn’t speak to a Doctor or professional about it. I had just ended a seven year courtship with my boyfriend. Around the same time one of my best friends had died of cancer. I also had illness and frequent hospital appointments. I was low. I didn’t want to eat. I was very sad all of the time. Going out walking seemed to be good for me.
One evening I was up at the top of Hunter’s Hill near Parbold in Lancashire, sitting on a bench and looking out at the golden sunset. Suddenly a man appeared. He was a cyclist and after leaning his bike against the wall, he asked if I would mind him sitting beside me on the bench (something that I would dread after I was attacked in 2015, but at the time I was not worried about). He sat there looking out at the beautiful view and he ate a sandwich. He turned to me and remarked that the view was really spectacular that night. I agreed. He then said, “it makes you wonder doesn’t it, with so much beauty in the world, why is there so much evil? What is this world coming to?” I said nothing.
That conversation was a huge wake-up call for me. I came home feeling ashamed of myself. I said nothing. I, who knew very well what this world is coming to, because I have read about since I was five years old. I said nothing. I realized how self-absorbed I was with my own concerns, and from that day forward I decided I was no longer going to sulk.
I have picked up pamphlets from displays outside tube stations in London, (don’t tell the mayor, but the best place to go for answers is a London tube station it seems) and had conversations with people, whose fingertips are like lightning as they navigate the scriptures, showing me not their own opinion, but the words of our Creator. I have huge respect for them. They must sometimes put up with verbal abuse and ridicule, but they are always there, day in day out, standing, waiting, unobtrusive, smiling, well-dressed, looking as if there is a joy within them that radiate through every pore.
When I went to Australia, I was walking down a main road in the city centre, and they were there. I knew who they were. In fact the first thing I said to them was “you are all over London”, which might not have made much sense to them. I was really jet-lagged at the time, but the two young women were very friendly. Their main concern was that I didn’t look well. So on that occasion, all they did was help me towards a gallery which was cooler and there were plenty of seats and a great cafe. I appreciated their kindness very much.
So the next day, knowing I would be walking down the same road again, I wanted to go and thank them. But they weren’t there. I carried on walking along the road, and there was an identical display with pamphlets, the same as the one those two young women were standing next to, but this time there was a man and a woman. I walked past and smiled at them. A minute or so later, I turned around and walked back. Because of a conversation I had with them (when I think I bombarded them with questions for a few hours), since I came back to England I have been e-mailing them and reading all of the links to a website they use. I have seen it before, but I didn’t know about the interactive courses on their website.
Well, the main reason I enjoyed chatting with them is that they were calm, respectful, eloquent, and time and time again, when I asked a question they turned to a page in the scriptures and asked me to read it. They didn’t tell me what it meant. They asked me what I understood from what I had read. I have all the time in the world for people who are respectful and reasonable. They have my attention big time. So when I saw Melanie’s questions in this week’s SHARE-YOUR-WORLD, I thought of what I have been reading on their website and the way they answered questions. I have referred to it again and again when considering these questions.
So I have two things to say now: this is a long post. I know many of you have a scores of posts waiting in your WP Reader, so please do not feel obliged to read this entire post. Secondly, I refer to a lot of scriptures. So if you have no interest in the scriptures, well, you might not enjoy this post. I am no preacher. But Melanie has asked some very important questions. I am no authority on these subjects. But for me, the scriptures are.
But if you enjoy long posts, and if you are interested in why there is so much beauty in this world and yet so much evil, if you watch or read the news of world events, and feel no little concern, and wonder are there answers to our questions: “WHY?” then you might find this post interesting. Here is Melanie’s original post with this week’s SHARE-YOUR WORLD questions:
Hmm. Why do a couple who are in love decide to have a baby and start a family? Why does someone decide to share the gift of life? I guess some may have their own reasons, but surely a father who wants to start a family is thinking of how wonderful life is and how much he wants to share of all it’s wonder with his child. How much beauty and delight there is. Surely he wants his child to enjoy being alive and to love our beautiful home planet.
If you have been blessed to have been immersed in an upbringing marked by unselfish love and happiness, and are used to thriving and feeling satisfied, purposeful and secure, the point of existence is probably not a troubling question. Life should be many many shades of wonderful. It is a beautiful gift. We have been given the perfect home. There is a huge array of satisfying purpose and exciting adventure available. There is endless opportunity to grow inside and develop beautiful qualities. There are beautiful people to forge friendships with and share all the pleasures of life with. That’s what we and our planet were designed for.
I am very well aware that many are deprived of what they should have – an upbringing within a safe and secure family life. It hurts to think how many may feel alone and lost, abandoned and let down. Too many are used and abused, robbed of their dignity and of their ability to enjoy life. It just breaks my heart.
For many today – life is just an existence. That has to change. Life will be exquisite and enthralling for everyone breathing. That is what the Giver had in mind – and I am sure he cares diddlysquat for those who have developed a system that crushes people’s sense of hope and enjoyment of the real life He had in mind for us.
I wondered whether in this question you are referring to the physical planet on which we live – the earth. The “world”, that the scriptures indicate will come to an end, is not this planet. In fact, our Creator has a beautiful purpose for this earth, and He states that nobody in the universe will prevent that purpose from being accomplished. So, I thought to answer this question, I might highlight some of what our Creator says about both the earth, and the “world”.
It is undeniable that human activity has greatly harmed the natural habitat of many of the creatures we share this planet with. It is distressing to see how much harm man-made products, and by-products of the manufacturing process, are causing. The scale of the damage of commercial activity may well have already changed aspects of our climate to our own detriment. I believe that due to short-sighted decisions in the greedy pursuit of profit, mankind is truly at risk of threatening our home. The scriptures refer to humans having the capacity to “ruin” the earth.
The first major disturbance in human history was when the first two humans listened to a spirit creature (a creature that was not made of matter) who claimed that their Creator’s guidance was not really in their best interests. The goodness of our Creator’s rulership was challenged. This spirit creature accused our Creator of lying and withholding good from his intelligent creatures. He insinuated that humans would be better off ruling themselves, independent of the guidance of their Creator.
What is it that is going to pass away, or go, when our Creator brings an end to the damage that has been done on this earth? There are certain institutions or aspects of the way mankind is organized today that many consider permanent features of life in this 
The scriptures candidly forecast that before this “world” is gone, the awful consequences of human independence will become more intense and disturbing events more frequent. Indeed the scriptures compare them to the pangs of distress of a pregnant woman. Those awful scenes we see on the news are symptoms of how much damage human independence has caused. Even the most noble of rulers cannot resolve the issues that face mankind today. So much damage has been done. So much harm. Our Creator is longing to clean up this earth and undo all of the damage that has been done.
I don’t know if you would agree, but to many, it seems laws are perceived as prohibitions and penalties for those who disregard such.
What concerns me, is that many do not seem to be educated to think in terms of the principles on which laws are based. Parents primarily, and teachers, have a golden opportunity to cultivate love and respect in the hearts of children.
I don’t think I am making a great job of answering this question, but when the greatest man who ever lived was on earth, he got straight to the point. He did not add numerous prohibitory laws, or even comment on making laws stricter, or penalties harsher. He got right to the root of issues. He was not drawn into the politics of the day. He drew attention to the government our Creator has promised, that will provide the best education system. Humans have extraordinary potential, but life will only really be peaceable and good under the guidance of our loving Creator. It’s no wonder Jesus remarked:
Has death always been inevitable for humans? No. The first humans had the prospect of living forever along with all of their offspring.
When distressing things happen, naturally it effects us. It should! If somebody is not concerned about the evil that goes on in this world, there is something very wrong with them. Most of us feel the horror of acts of violence and terrorism.
hose alive right now have a unique prospect ahead of them. Never dying at all. When our Creator brings an end to the “world”, as discussed above, He will at the same time protect people who love goodness and want to live under His guidance.
Forgive me Melanie, but I don’t quite understand this question. I may have completely missed the thought behind the question. I just looked at some quotes on line and found many found it laughable that some would think sympathetic thoughts and words to convey their pity, but not actually do anything to help someone. Of course action is louder that thoughts and words! But some may feel it is not in their power to make any difference. Of course, we should seize any opportunity we have to help others who are suffering the awful consequences of this “world”, that tries to operate without the loving guidance of our Creator.
Of course, we may feel deeply for those who have lost loved ones, especially in an appalling act of violence. It is completely normal to be sensitive to the suffering of others. So I cannot see any reason to discourage expressions of empathy. It’s worth remembering that when someone is in the grip of anguish or grief, nothing you might say might seem to make any difference. They may even become bitter and provoked by the futility of others trying to offer comfort. But later, later, when time has passed, victims of tragic events may look back and appreciate that people did try to help.
But the expressions of some may seem rather empty. On 11th September 2001, the world was shocked by, I think it is fair to say, the worst terrorist attack in modern history. Now for some reason I chose to watch the news coverage on CNN rather than the BBC, the channel I would normally watch for news bulletins. Most of us have those images scarred on our minds, and it still seems unbelievable that individuals could express such hatred and commit such an evil act.
However, I remember a news broadcaster interviewing some cleric. I don’t know who he was, but I remember him sitting there with a dog-collar on. The news anchor said to him that there will be parents whose children will be asking them “why?” She asked this religious leader how can parents help their children understand why this evil has happened? This chap replied that there was no real answer to that question, and that it is pointless asking why? He encouraged parents to light a candle and let that be a symbol of hope.
They completely pass over all of the wonderful promises for this earth, the wonderful home that our Creator designed for humans. And they fail to drawer attention to the only real solution to mankind’s problems, “God’s Kingdom” will do the following:
There will come a day when nobody will question “what is the point?” of life. When we wake up full of energy and eagerness for what the day holds. When we are completely secure and at peace because the whole earth and it’s population are thriving. When we struggle to even remember how awful the conditions were when humans thought they could rule themselves. Under the loving guidance of our Creator – life will be better than any of us can imagine!
We may be disturbed by what is happening in this world. We may long for the end of evil and corruption. But actions speak louder than words. We should live in a way that shows we view life as a precious gift, that we care for our beautiful planet home and all of it’s creatures, and that we love our Creator and our fellow humans. Indeed, we should live in harmony with our prayers, “let your kingdom come, let your will be done on earth.”
Jim Adams, aka Newepicauthor, the creator of 
Why do people seek fame? Search me! I guess they may feel it will open up opportunities to lead a more exciting life, perhaps to escape a perceived monotony, whilst treading the proverbial hamster wheel, working to “make ends meet”. From my own experience and that of my more well known friends (famous if you like), fame is not much fun at all.
Caramel 