Two Hearts That Beat As One

Curled up on the campbed in the conservatory at my sister’s home. Feeling confused. It is confusing to be in love with two men.

It feels double hearted, or as if I have two separate hearts. One that beats for a gorgeous man 10,100 miles away, the other that races whenever my soulmate is near me.

But the gorgeous friend, who is 10,100 miles away, said something lovely to me a couple of days ago. He said that naturally the situation will resolve itself. The more time I spend with the man who has very suddenly come back into my life, gradually that love will become stronger and  the other lesser. He has been so kind.

I am one of those people who doesn’t cope well with guilt. Sometimes I have ideals that some might think of as a little childish. So it’s not sitting well with me to have such strong feelings for them both. And because I don’t do guilt at all, I have told them both.

I told my gorgeous Australian about everything that happened from the start. He knows it all. And I told my ex-flatmate that I have been in love for the past couple of years with a wonderful man, and that is hard to let go of him.

Eventually, I want this little heart of mine to settle down. It’s all come with the suddenness of this situation. I have to give it time I guess, for my feelings to calm.