My letter to Goldfinch…has finally arrived in Australia, almost two weeks after I posted it. Deep sigh. He sent me a very sweet e-mail today. I have had a very busy day…so I am still thinking about what to type back. But I think I will have to sleep on it.
Sometimes I really do feel as if I am over three billion miles away (as is Pluto from the sun), not just 10,100 miles. I still sense my orbit around him is steady. I keep my eyes focused on him. He is not going to lose the very tender place in my heart where he resides.
In my mind I can see him in his home, in his city. I am so glad I had the summer with him (Australia’s winter). It has given me so many wonderful memories. It is so much easier to picture him over there now I have seen his home for myself.
I love Jack. I always did, but I had to suppress it. My love for him is finally allowed to flourish and thrive. A new orbit is establishing itself. My life is now shifting to revolve around him. But I am so glad that for two years Goldfinch has been in my life. He has allowed me to know the wonders of love and not hold back.
It was raining, so he called me and said he would drive into the cul-de-sac opposite the end of my road. Of course there are two ends, so I asked which end. He meant the quieter end. The other end is the high street. So that made sense.
At the time we agreed, I walked out to the cul-de-sac, opposite the quieter end of the road I live on. It is not very big. I walked around it. There was no sign of him. I was a few minutes early, so I waited patiently. Fifteen minutes later, my shoes were soaking wet. So the following series of messages occured:
xx…are you parked out on the main road?…xx
Is everything alright?…xx
There I waited for him. A few minutes later, he pulled over. I slid into the passenger seat and then gave directions (again very sweetly) take the first left, turn right at the end of the road. Turn left as the road bends, at the bottom of the hill turn left, first right, follow the road as it turns towards the left, take a right turn onto the main road. Go straight ahead at the mini-roundabout. Straight on until we reach the cross roads, turn right and head towards the ring road.
I put my hand on his to show I am not cross. I am just a little disconcerted, but I don’t want it to spoil things. “How was your day?”
He came back to the car where I had been patiently waiting, taking the opportunity to send a text message to Goldfinch to ask how he was. He opened the car door for me and held the umbrella up over me as we walked to the front door of the little flat. He put the kettle on. He has stayed there before. Once we were comfortable, we played cards. We watched a little television, there was nothing either of us were interested in, He asked if I like “The Apprentice”. I pulled a face. He told me it’s hilarious. He is going to make me watch some of it with him next time we are together.
He went back out to the car to bring in a bottle of wine and some leftovers from the buffet table at the venue he was working. There were no savoury vegetarian items, so I made him eat the meat and fish, and I had a big slab of fruitcake. The cake was a little dry, but it’s eatibilty was enhanced by the red wine. I suspect it has all been in his car all afternoon. So if he has a dodgy tummy, we know why. I think the fruit cake was the safer option.
It’s just the story of a couple who have only been dating for a short time, yet have an eight year history marked by mistakes, mischances, misunderstandings, miscommunication and misdemeanours. This time, we are both trying to make sure we are strong. So far, so good.
Caramel 