In A Sky Full Of Stars I Think I Saw You

My letter to Goldfinch…has finally arrived in Australia, almost two weeks after I posted it. Deep sigh. He sent me a very sweet e-mail today. I have had a very busy day…so I am still thinking about what to type back. But I think I will have to sleep on it.

caramel orbit1.jpg

Sometimes I really do feel as if I am over three billion miles away (as is Pluto from the sun), not just 10,100 miles. I still sense my orbit around him is steady. I keep my eyes focused on him. He is not going to lose the very tender place in my heart where he resides.

In my mind I can see him in his home, in his city. I am so glad I had the summer with him (Australia’s winter). It has given me so many wonderful memories. It is so much easier to picture him over there now I have seen his home for myself.

I love Jack. I always did, but I had to suppress it. My love for him is finally allowed to flourish and thrive. A new orbit is establishing itself. My life is now shifting to revolve around him. But I am so glad that for two years Goldfinch has been in my life. He has allowed me to know the wonders of love and not hold back.

Cul-De-Sac Chaos

cdsIt was raining, so he called me and said he would drive into the cul-de-sac opposite the end of my road. Of course there are two ends, so I asked which end. He meant the quieter end. The other end is the high street. So that made sense.

You might wonder why he doesn’t just pick me up outside my home? Well…I am not ready for anyone to spot him…and me…and make the connection. I feel safe here in the little abode. A celebrity parking up or strolling up…could compromise that. Sometimes I wonder, am I being overly cautious? Well…I will tell you something that happened which actually confirmed in my mind that caution is a very good idea.

waiting for jack.jpgAt the time we agreed, I walked out to the cul-de-sac, opposite the quieter end of the road I live on. It is not very big. I walked around it. There was no sign of him. I was a few minutes early, so I waited patiently. Fifteen minutes later, my shoes were soaking wet. So the following series of messages occured:

❤ Is everything alright? ❤ Let me know if you are running late…xx

Hey Beauty, I’ve been sitting here for the past ten minutes. Are you ok? X

Are you in the same car as usual?…xx

Yes same car

waiting for jack1xx…are you parked out on the main road?…xx

No, in this little avenue, like you said X

xx…can’t see you anywhere…xx

Can’t see you either 🙂

What’s the name of the road you are parked in?…xx

Hold on…I’ll have to get and have a look X

And then I waited for a reply…no reply came. Ten minutes later I texted him:

waiting for jack5Is everything alright?…xx

Still no answer, so I started calling him. I should have called him before, but I had hardly any credit on the little basic phone I carry in my bag. When I finally spoke to him, it sounded as if he had turned onto the main road, and then turned into the first cul-de-sac he came to…which is not the one opposite my road. So, I told him to wait there and I would come and find him. I walked back onto the main road and headed to where I thought he was.

He was in another cul-de-sac, about fifty metres distance from the cul-de-sac opposite the end of my road. I saw him straight away. He was out of his car with two men, well, one was a teenager and it looked like his Dad. The three of them posing for a selfie together. I recognised the men, neighbours of ours. Scared to rock up and jump into his car and for them to make the connection, I walked past. I rang him again and told him (very sweetly) that it would be great if he could get back into the car, turn right onto the main road and then take the second right turn.

waiting for jack2There I waited for him. A few minutes later, he pulled over. I slid into the passenger seat and then gave directions (again very sweetly) take the first left, turn right at the end of the road. Turn left as the road bends, at the bottom of the hill turn left, first right, follow the road as it turns towards the left, take a right turn onto the main road. Go straight ahead at the mini-roundabout. Straight on until we reach the cross roads, turn right and head towards the ring road.

Sigh…”what was that Jack?”

“What was what?”

“Aren’t we supposed to be trying to be discreet?”

“I had to get out of the car to look at the name of the road. They were just turning into the road. They were dead friendly.”

robins and annie handsI put my hand on his to show I am not cross. I am just a little disconcerted, but I don’t want it to spoil things. “How was your day?”

The evening was not ruined at all by the cul-de-sac confusion, the cul-de-sac chaos. He and I were soon in Surrey, at a little flat that is used for volunteers working on projects in that area. He knows the couple who look after it very well. He had already called and asked if it was available. He nipped in to see them and grab the key. I waited in the car, which he had parked round the side, instead of the front. They didn’t see me. They had asked him to stay for a drink. He had told them he had a lot he needed to catch up with but still agreed to a whisky, which I tasted on his lips about twenty minutes later. (Yes he left me waiting in the car for fifteen minutes when he went in to pick up the key.)

waiting for jack4He came back to the car where I had been patiently waiting, taking the opportunity to send a text message to Goldfinch to ask how he was. He opened the car door for me and held the umbrella up over me as we walked to the front door of the little flat. He put the kettle on. He has stayed there before. Once we were comfortable, we played cards. We watched a little television, there was nothing either of us were interested in, He asked if I like “The Apprentice”. I pulled a face. He told me it’s hilarious. He is going to make me watch some of it with him next time we are together.

leftoversHe went back out to the car to bring in a bottle of wine and some leftovers from the buffet table at the venue he was working. There were no savoury vegetarian items, so I made him eat the meat and fish, and I had a big slab of fruitcake. The cake was a little dry, but it’s eatibilty was enhanced by the red wine. I suspect it has all been in his car all afternoon. So if he has a dodgy tummy, we know why. I think the fruit cake was the safer option.

Despite the little things that did not make it the dream date…I would still call it a perfect evening. Because it was him and me together, loving each other’s company. Things still don’t go 100% smoothly – but they don’t do they? Real life always throws up a little oddity which could spoil an evening. But love makes you overlook those little things.

Instead you end up tenderly kissing each other and slowly removing clothes. Why rush these special moments together? We take it slow. It’s all an exploration, trying to learn about each other, understand one another, remembering the sensitive spots, taking a new liberty, testing the intimacy and trust is still vibrant and strong.

waiting for jack3It’s just the story of a couple who have only been dating for a short time, yet have an eight year history marked by mistakes, mischances, misunderstandings, miscommunication and misdemeanours. This time, we are both trying to make sure we are strong. So far, so good.

The clouds have cleared, there is no rain as far as he and I are concerned, just blue skies and sunny days…followed by nights gazing up at the stars and talking about the future. It’s working! But we need to keep working on it!