You are spending time with a close friend (or perhaps someone you are courting) at a public venue – perhaps at a shop or eating in a restaurant. Your friend is unhappy about the service, but when expressing their complaint, they are very rude to a member of staff.


I prepared this question before we all came under social distancing guidelines and restaurants and cafes. But think back to what we used to do with our free time…


What is THE CARAMEL CRUNCH? Well, it’s all about decisions. When it comes to THE CRUNCH what would you do?

One of the definitions of the word CRUNCH is:

a crucial point or situation

 – generally involving a decision with weighty consequences

  • Your response can be a quickie. Please feel free to send a comment to say what you would do, and if you have time or are inclined, please feel free to explain your decision.
  • If you would like to create a post with a longer explanation of your decision, please pingback to THE CARAMEL CRUNCH post. (Or copy and paste a link to your post in the comments section – please feel free.)

If you know anything about CRUSHED CARAMEL, you will probably realize I am a gentle soul, so my questions are not supposed to be terrifying! What I am hoping for really is to see a variety of responses. Afterall, it’s pretty obvious that WordPress bloggers are from a huge variety of backgrounds and cultures. It would be fascinating to learn more about how we as individuals make decisions.

Some of the questions I am going to ask are questions I have discussed with friends when we have been having coffee or dinner. I often find there is no clear right or wrong. It can be so much a matter of our individual experiences and outlook. I find it fascinating how very different some of us are when it comes to decision making.

We all have different outlooks, and may make different decisions. I am really looking forward to learning WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

One Way Street, Decisions, Opportunity



22 thoughts on “THE CARAMEL CRUNCH #13”

  1. Apparently I did this back when I was on Fentanyl and in a lot of pain, I asked why we weren’t being served water. I don’t remember it but my kids do.😳😱

    Sent from my iPad


    Liked by 3 people

    1. I think when I was sedated when I had my wisdom teeth taken out, I said some very unusual things. My best friend has reminded me often about that day!

      I am a funny one Cheryl.
      I have been served cold food that wasn’t cooked properly and still eaten it and told the waiter it was delicious. My sister and several friends tell me that is nuts. I don’t know how to complain.
      But I have friends who seem like Olympic complainers. I always feel perplexed when I am with them and several times I have felt so bad for the waiter/waitress that I have gone to find them and apologised.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. This reminds me of when I would go out to eat with my great-aunt when she was still living. I would get embarrassed because she could be so rude sometimes, but she would have seen it as speaking her mind rather than rudeness. I guess once you’re in your 90s you get a free pass on some things.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Short answer: not your monkey, not your circus. How your friend treats wait staff isn’t your responsibility. That said, one of my ex-friends had developed a bad habit of saying something was wrong with her food in hopes she would get a discount or a free meal out of it, and she was very rude about how she did it. It’s one of the (many) reasons I ended the friendship.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. It gives me nervous knots when one of my friends is rude to a waiter or cashier etc. I can’t bear it. The only thing I would ever speak up about is if I was accidentally served a meat dish (I am vegetarian) but I would be very nice about it. I can’t bear the thought of making someone feel bad.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I understand. I have my moments of b-ness but it’s usually at home, with people I know and care about. Not sure if that’s so good either 😦


    1. I have a few friends who have very strong personalities/characters. I am a softie, and I cannot bear to make people feel bad, so I would very rarely complain about anything to a waiter etc. I have no idea how stressed out they might be, and I don’t like the thought of being the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

      If I did have to complain, I would be extremely sweet about it.

      Liked by 3 people

  4. I used to get rude with anyone that messed up my food. I had no patience or understanding. I was married to an equal disposition. Over the years, I observed this type of behavior from strangers and realized it wasn’t right. In the past 20 years, I’ve become more tolerant of mistakes and either don’t say anything or I’m polite about it for a remake. I equally praise the staff and the cook or chef when my food is perfect. I can’t stand to see anyone get chewed out in front of a bunch of others and will find myself overcompensating with my tip because I fell bad for them. Glad I grew out of being a jerk!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. As someone said, it’s not my responsibility what someone else does or says, unless it’s my child. I treat people reasonably well, but I will speak up about things in a nice way. Not petty stuff, but if my order is wrong? Or course I will say that. Or if a hot dish is cold, I will ask for it to be warmed up. If I’m missing utensils or napkins or water, I will politely ask for them. There’s no reason not to!

    Poor service or food will cause me to quit going to a place. I’m not big on second chances. The entire function of a restaurant is to serve yummy food accompanied with nice service. If they can’t, I don’t want to spend money there again. I don’t need excuses or a discount. I don’t want to yell at anyone. I’m just done with them. I prefer friends who believe similarly. People who would rather make a fuss for a discount ARE embarrassing. I agree with that. But I wouldn’t apologize for them. I might not hang out with them so much however…


    1. One of my biggest impressions from my one visit to the US (Texas) is that restaurants take their service very seriously. We were surprised by it. The waiters would bring a huge pitcher of water and snacks while we were still ordering. If the jug/basket was half full, they would immediately replace it with a fresh one. Portion sizes were huge and they were constantly asking us if everything was ok and smiling.

      I definitely noticed a big difference from the general feel of restaurants in the UK. There are some (usually expensive) places that treat you like royalty, but elsewhere the waiters sometimes seem quite stressed and under pressure. Most times we would have to ask for water to be brought to the table, it would not be placed on the table automatically. There are rarely free snacks before you even order.

      But then we are miserly tippers here in the UK – so maybe that is why!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Well, I’d respect their rights to complain about how bad they saw things, but I wouldn’t tolerate him/her being rude to the staff, especially if there’s no cause for it.


  7. Go to the person who was targeted AND to the manager and tell them how sorry you are for your friend’s actions. Even if something happened, there is always a better way of handling it. The Manager and the server will get a better understanding of the events that lead to the situation, and hopefully you can all forgive and forget, and strive for better next time. Give them another chance to make things right.


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