Another long day trying to keep up with the craziness at work. Strangely for the first time today, I felt stronger physically. I slept like a baby last night – ten hours! That was good though. Sleep is so good!
The highlight of today…well there were two actually. The first was flowers. One of the local florists was closing down today, so they were giving away all of their bouquets. I am sad for them. But after a long day at work, it is so nice to come home with beautiful flowers to cheer my little nest up.
The second highlight of the day…ok, I might make this three highlights. This morning the sunshine and blue sky were so heart lifting. I sang to myself all the way down to work. I love my morning walk to work when I sing with nobody around to hear me.
The third highlight was after we had technically finished work. We were just trying to finish off some paperwork to make tomorrow easier. It was unpaid overtime. To cheer us up, my manager put some music on. She picked a playlist from her phone. It was a surprise to hear the first song. Oh my goodness did we dance! She played a bunch of other songs too, and then just for me she played “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” again! It felt really good! We need these little moments, these little highlights to help us cope with the stress.
I love Jack very much. It’s a wonderful stage in our relationship. We have know each other years. Yet we are still in that gorgeous first stage in a relationship of falling more in love every time we meet. It’s all still very exciting. Jack has left London again and he will be away for a few weeks (unless things change due to the …you know…). He wouldn’t let me go to the airport with him because of the risk of the virus. I had wanted to. It brought back memories of travelling to the airport with someone else to say goodbye. When I miss Jack, I also miss someone else.
I still have strong feelings for Goldfinch. How do I know? I heard a song a while ago, and it left me in tears. I was sitting in a restaurant with friends a few weeks ago. I suddenly zoned out of the conversation as my ears picked up on the lyrics. I had to excuse myself because it was so personal.
I have been on the platform saying goodbye to him, because he wants to be free. He wants to be able to fly unshackled. He wants to see the world. I said “Go!”. Only because I love him and I want him to feel free. But it is crushing still.
One of the subjects Jack and I discussed a lot was my impending trip to Australia (which seems somewhere between highly unlikely to impossible at the moment). I think he was a bit anxious that there was something wrong between he and I. So, I told him why I really want to go…but I think I will explain that in another post, as it is a big subject…and I am tired!