I’m Going To Be…

Woman, Girl, Blonde Hair, Blonde WomanI’m going to be…

Your bright spark

Your’s Noah’s ark

Your shot in the dark

Your walk in the park

 

Blur, Design, Fashion, Female, GownI’m going to be…

Your last mile

Your brightest smile

Your defining style

Your every worthwhile

 

Woman, Blonde, Beautiful, Girl, OutdoorsI’m going to be…

Your fresh start

Your winning dart

Your off the chart

Your from the heart

 

Guitar, Beautiful, Music, InstrumentI’m going to be…

Your best show

Your warmest glow

Your get up and go

Your only I know

 

Beautiful, Blowing, Blur, BrunetteI’m going to be…

Your big try

Your reason why

Your do or die

Your flying high

 

Bride, Couple, Dark, Groom, ManI’m going to be…

Everything you want me to be

Everything you could ask of me

Everything you want in a she

Everything you need to be free

 

 

The Double Me

Going incognito is my only choice. Its as if there is a double me. The real me…and a pretend me that I have to become when I step into my paid work premises.

woman wearing hat in grayscale photography

I think one of the reasons why I am finding it hard having to do extra hours at a paid job (besides the obvious tiredness) is that I can’t be me when I am there. I can’t talk about Jack. I can’t talk about my friends. If I do mention them, it is always in a vague way. I can’t say where I have been and who I’ve seen.

Not that there is much opportunity to talk anyway. Work is busy. Work is so dull, insanely dull. I feel like a robot while I am there. I want my time back, I want to be me again. I want to be back in the circle of people who know me, and who share the life I lead.

I don’t know how my colleagues would react if they knew about Jack and I. But I cannot risk it. Over the past five weeks Jack called me each morning…I would go to work full of thoughts of him. But I couldn’t share my excitement and my love. My colleagues do know about Goldfinch. I started working at this place before Jack made contact with me.

Oh well! I can see my manager is trying really hard to find someone to join the team. Then I hope to go back to my 16.5 paid hours a week and carry on with the more important work I do, which is unpaid…and happens to be richly rewarding and fascinating.