Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

Boys will be boys! Always competing, determined to outdo one another. Egging each other on to perform yet another dangerous stunt. Willing to risk life and limb for the sake of bravado. All for love of the blonde bombshell with the curly tail, for whom both harboured a secret passion.

 

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/03/06/50-word-thursday-10/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/07/passion/

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I Couldn’t Get My Head Past The Plane

cartoons.jpgI normally watch children’s film’s. I feel safer with them. They make me laugh and I enjoy them. Adult films are not something I enjoy (and I just mean any film that is not rated as suitable for a universal audience or perhaps those for parental guidence), there are very likely going to be scenes that I don’t enjoy. When I stop enjoying a film, I leave the room. My friends carry on watching it, but they know what I am like, so they don’t ask if I want them to pause the movie.

I start pottering around the kitchen, washing and drying dishes, folding up the tea-towels neatly, rearranging the cups and mugs in cupboards or see if my friends have any magazines lying around.

My friends told me they thought I would like the film “The English Patient”. I could tell there was some nice cinematography – but it was much too adult for me, right from the start. I felt the dread that comes over me when I feel uncomfortable in a situation and have an urge to escape. I could not sit and watch it, yet my curiosity was piqued and I did want to know what happened to the main characters.

Towards the end of the movie, my friends yelled, “Quick! Get in here!”

I rejoined my friends and watched as the plane carrying the two main characters crashed. He grabbed her from the pit she was sitting in. He carried her through the desert sands to a cave. They both realized he would have to go for help. She would have to stay in the cave alone waiting.

Tears started streaming down my face because now I understood the scenes right at the start of the movie. The aeroplane at the start which was on fire. Totally different scenario. That was after he had managed to get back to the cave.

I cried for weeks afterwards. This is why I cannot watch adult movies. It’s much safer to stick with cartoons. Whenever I see a plane like this it reminds me of the movie I didn’t watch – except for the first ten minutes and the last fifteen minutes.

I really wanted to write an adventure fiction…but I could not get my head past the plane and remembering the few minutes I saw from that from that film “The English Patient”.

Today’s genre challenge was: Adventure Fiction

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/03/08/genre-challenge-5/

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/03/08/story-starter-challenge-6/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/03/08/fire/

FOWC with Fandango — Watch

The First Time I Read The Word Exquisite

I actually remember the first time I ever read the word “exquisite”. It sent shivers up and down my spine and filled me with excitement. There was something special about that word, it was incredibly alluring. I have included the verse I read when I was just a little girl that filled me with anticipation.

Around this time of year, I am longing for bleak, grey winter to be over and longing for spring. Every day I feel excited as I anticipate the colour and warmth and life returning.

Sometimes it is hard to wait for the good times ahead. But I know they are coming. Nothing will stop the march of the seasons. I am full of hope, no matter how bitterly cold and dismal it is right now.

Whenever I turn on the news or read a newspaper it seems obvious that this world is quite lost, in need of a great rescue and recovery operation.

I am reminded of that seem feeling. I am full of hope. No matter how bitterly cold and ghastly this world becomes (and I am sure it will get worse before change comes), I am full of conviction that this winter will end and much brighter times are ahead.

I have solid reason for hope. Whatever source gives you hope, I am sure you too feel that same anticipation and longing for an exquisite era ahead.

 

“right hearted people will possess the earth

and find exquisite delight in the abundance of peace”

 

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/exquisite/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/your-daily-word-prompt-lost-january-13-2019/

 

I Put My Parents Through Agony

My parents were never really sure quite what happened. They said they felt helpless and they prayed many times that things would turn out well. But they were deeply anxious and doubtful I would recover.

For years I had been a typical child, eager, full of life and laughter. I ate and pooped, ate and pooped. I was immature and completely dependent on my parents. I looked up to them and felt very secure in their love. They fed my mind, my heart and my stomach and watched me as I grew and grew and grew.

But then I went to high school and entered my teens and puberty. Something happened which they knew may come one day, but not in quite such a drastic way.

I shut myself off from them and refused to communicate properly. I grunted, shrugged and sighed my way through my fourteenth and fifteenth year. My parents tried their best to keep reaching my heart, but they had no idea if they were getting through.

They must have found it agonizing. In many ways, I am glad I was clever enough to hide what I did from them until many many months later. I hid so much from them for so long.

They still don’t know the half of it! All sorts was going on inside of me. Boys, music, drinking. I was no longer happy to conform, to obey. I questioned everything inwardly and outwardly.

I skipped school and forged sick notes. Instead of going to school I would catch a train into Manchester which was almost 40 miles away from home. When I was at school, I became disruptive in some classes (the ones I did not really enjoy). My best friend and I spurred each other on. We vandalised the geography teacher’s classroom and even his own belongings. We turned every physics lesson into anarchy. We played netball in the middle of our French lesson with a French dictionary and jumped up on to her desk and danced the Can-Can.

Sometimes I was given a “detention” by a teacher. I forged my mum’s signature and turned up for the detention (except the time I skipped detention because I was going to a concert), I was fortunate in being so bright. My school work never suffered and I maintained my straight A grades.

I started to work for a record company, which my parents knew about. But most of the nights they thought I was staying over at the home of a school friend, I was in Manchester at a music venue or club. I did things I am ashamed to relate.

The teachers wanted me to make decisions about what to do when school ended. I did not know what I wanted to do. I knew what I did not want to do.

I pondered what purpose there is in life, when we seem to be forced down a path that does not in any way appeal to us. I felt hollow and lost at times. Life seemed like a grey expanse stretched out before me. I felt trapped. The music I listened to constantly incited me to be disdainful of boring conformity. There was a spirit of arrogant rebellion breeding in my mind. I was full of resentment and anger towards everyone – I am not even sure why.

But I was not happy. Some of the things I saw at clubs shocked me. Behaviour beyond disgusting. Everything felt filthy. I did not know how to be happy any longer.

aunt june.jpg

A wise old owl – Aunt June, who was almost eighty, and had sparkly blue eyes and a very deep grin – asked me what I was going to do when I left school. I muttered and gave her a wishy-washy answer about going to college. She probed further and soon discovered that I had no real plan in mind. There were no subjects that interested me just then, accept music. But I already knew I hated the places I was going and the people who were there. I was disillusioned with the music industry.

Aunt June could be scary sometimes. She looked at me sternly and said: “Do you want to live?” I was a bit taken aback by that question. Tears came into my eyes as I realized I was not even sure that I did want to be alive. I had been miserable for so long, my enjoyment in life had evaporated.

She asked me if I didn’t know what I wanted for my future, then what did I want for the rest of the world and for the planet? I thought about it, and knew that actually I did have a vision in the back of my mind. A vision that I had first seen in a golden story book my first ever teacher used to read to us from when I was just five years old. I knew the word to describe it: PARADISE.

Aunt June cried out that I should set that goal for my own future and see myself there, not just the rest of the world. She told me to work towards that goal.

At just the right time a project started in the town where we were living. They needed volunteers, skilled or unskilled. I had just broken up for study leave for my GCSEs. I went down there and from the first day I was trained and assigned all sorts of tasks. I ended up on the front page of the local newspaper because of my involvement for the full length of the project.

I remember a couple of my dad’s friends talking to him about me one day. I could hear everything. My face flushed with embarrassment but I was pleased. Then they called out to me: “We were just talking about you Mel! We were asking what has happened to you? You have come to life. You were grumpy and moody a few months ago and wouldn’t talk to anyone, not even make eye contact with anyone. Now look at you. You are glowing.”

I knew I was. I knew that ever since I had started to become involved in volunteer projects I had started to taste happiness.

My parents always said those couple of years when it was so hard to get me to communicate were very difficult for them. They were so worried about me. They always said it was as if I had cocooned myself within a chrysalis. They had no idea what was going on inside my mind and heart. But it was very much a metamorphosis.

One day something wonderful started to happen. They said a beautiful human being started to emerge from that mentally and emotionally isolated state and started to give colour and happiness to everyone around her.

I always felt it was because I had started to spend time with very beautiful people. People who were freely giving their time, their energy and their skills to build something that would benefit a community. I was learning so much from them.

I wanted to be alive. I wanted to work towards a better world, a world where everyone is happy, full of life, secure in love. I wanted to help make this earth a paradise.

I now had a purpose, a goal and I loved beautifully hearted people who were working towards the same purpose.

 

FOWC with Fandango — Metamorphosis

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/07/immature/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/07/your-daily-word-prompt-resentment-january-7-2019/

Whatever You Do, Don’t Say Peppa

I made a mistake on Monday evening. A big mistake! I asked my brother-in-law if he would pass me the salt and pepper. Somebody’s ears picked up on the word “pepper”. My sister and her husband groaned!

Bedtime that night was quite a battle. For I had inadvertently reminded my twenty month old niece of her favourite cartoon – Peppa Pig! She did not want a bath. She did not want a clean nappy. She did not want her pyjamas. She did not want to go to sleep.

Again and again and again and again and again she said: “Peppa”. It was a very late night! We tried so hard to distract her.  Poor baby! It was almost midnight by the time she finally closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

It was not my goal to upset the bedtime routine and make my niece distraught! It meant that we had to watch a lot of Peppa Pig on Tuesday before we went to meet the family. We watched more on Wednesday before heading out. We even watched more of Peppa Pig on Thursday before we drove up to Cheshire.

I need to remember not to say Peppa or pepper again in front of my niece. Well, at least until she has a new favourite!

For now – all that matters is Peppa!

I had such a wonderful time in Wales though. The internet signal is abysmal in that part of Snowdonia! I took some photos and will share some more of my wonderful family with you and our antics over the past few days. The adventure is not over quite yet. Much more love, laughter and living ahead!

So sorry if I have missed some posts. I tried to catch up each evening. The internet in Cheshire is so much better. Less mountains on the Cheshire Plains. I kept trying to type comments and they would disappear. I am blaming the internet connection in North Wales!

Heading out for more fun, food and frolics this evening. Love and warmest greetings to all!

 

 

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/12/28/goal/

FOWC with Fandango — Adventure

Hiding The Bruises

I am alright now, (I think) but for a long time the situation with my ex-flatmate Jack kept my nerves on a knife-edge. I know there are some people who make a career out of being the subject of idle gossip for others, but that has never been something I wanted for myself.

Even when I was living with Jack, the rumours about the two of us were so upsetting, I tried to leave the flat earlier than anyone else and arrive home in the dark. I was sneaking in and out of my own home, to escape the attention of whoever it was who kept these shocking rumours breeding.

When I returned to London, after almost a year of resting and recovering from the physical injuries I had sustained the night I was assaulted (and then…being left for dead underneath some bushes) I was pretty nervous.

Although my physical injuries were healing up nicely, I was deeply self-conscious in so many ways. I was very nervous around men. I was very aware of my head! I felt secure with a hat on, or a bandana or scarf in the summer. I found London overwhelming. I felt very lost at times. I found bright lights gave me severe headaches. I always wore sunglasses out of doors. The first six months, I looked a bit like the woman in the picture prompt from The Haunted Wordsmith.

But what I found effected me most deeply was gossip. I saw friends and colleagues. They were confused about why I had disappeared for a year. Many of them thought I had left in disgrace. Just before I had been attacked, there were rumours that I was involved with a married man. I don’t really feel like writing about that today, but I will at some point. There are already a couple of posts where I have touched on it already:

embarrassedBut it has taken a long time to be able to battle the anxiety that other people, people I admire and respect, think terrible things of me. That realization has made me pretty dismal at times.

I could have caused trouble for Jack. I did not want to do that. I could have talked about being assaulted (I find it really difficult to use the R word still) and beaten up. But you know, I really did not want to. If I started talking about it, I would have been asked a thousand questions by people that I was not ready to answer. So instead I let them think whatever they wanted to think.

As far as many of them are concerned, I was acting strangely, sneaking in and out of my own home at unusual hours, becoming cagey and defensive and emotional…and then I disappeared for a year. I returned to London wearing hats and sunglasses (with style!) and not answering questions openly.

I am a lot more settled than I was then, more relaxed about everything, and my friends are more relaxed. They all seem genuinely glad to have me around and everyone is very polite about what has happened in the past. Some of my very close friends know a lot more about what happened of course, and when I need someone to talk to they are wonderful. But on the whole, everyone has been so incredibly discreet about what happened to me, which I am extremely grateful for.

But there is a kind of loneliness that comes with having a big secret that you hide. I hide all the details of what went on between Jack and I. I hide all the details about what happened to me in the park. People know not to push me with too many questions because I will leave.

Aaaaah!

Well…I have said enough for today. It takes it out of me thinking about things that I don’t want to think about! So, to end this post I wanted to share a song that I fell in love with, mainly because I have become such a huge fan of the voice of Kristina Train. But I liked the song too…it does touch me in my situation. I have put two versions for you just in case you prefer the acoustic version. I like both actually.

 

 

 

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/daily-writing-challenge-nov-27/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/dismal/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/11/27/your-daily-word-prompt-lost-november-27-2018/

FOWC with Fandango — Leave

I Can’t Forget The Melody

My sisters and I absolutely loved musicals when we were growing up. I know there are some who are not so keen on musicals and indeed, even I agree there are some rather dubious lyrics in some film scores. But still, I remember musicals in vivid detail far more so than I remember any dialogue. We were never silent observers. Every song would have us up singing and dancing around the living room.

Fandango’s word for the day “MELODY” brought back a film to my mind. It is so engrained on my mind that I do believe I could sing the entire two and a half hours to you. It was a film staring Richard Chamberlain and Gemma Craven named “The Slipper And The Rose” – another Cinderella story.

I have never seen the Disney version of Cinderella. My sisters and I grew up with this version firmly in our minds.

In this version, Cinderella is found by the prince who has been searching for the fair maiden who fits the exquisite glass slipper. All is merry and cheer and the Prince declares to all with jubilation his new bride will be the gorgeous Cinderella. However, the political aides of the King directly appeal to Cinderella that if the Prince goes ahead with marrying her, their small Kingdom will be attacked by mightier nations who will come with such great military forces so as to be sure to overwhelm them. They paint a gloomy picture of certain war on the horizon.

On contemplating the heavy price to pay for her own happiness resulting in violent war full of bloodshed and suffering, Cinderella leaves the palace under the cloak of darkness, only leaving a message for her beloved Prince suggesting she tried to love him but it was all fake and he is better off without her. I always remember her dulcet and mournful tones singing:

Don’t let him know, how much I love him

Why I must go, so far away

For if he knew, why I must leave him

No power on earth could make him stay

The following scenes show a marriage being arranged for the Prince to a princess from a mighty neighbouring nation. Then we see Cinderella who is now hidden away, beyond reach of the Prince. She sings a song I still know word for word and sometimes sing to myself while I am washing the dishes.

It’s a sweet song, it sometimes brings a tear to my eye. I think it’s especially on my mind at the moment because sometimes, circumstances seem to force you to make hard decisions where you have to put what is right and the welfare of others ahead of your own happiness. They are decisions that may haunt you for years to come.

Every day I breathe I think I will be mourning my gorgeous Goldfinch – but I know it is the right decision.

 

 

FOWC with Fandango — Melody

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/11/23/dubious/

https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2018/11/23/your-daily-word-prompt-overwhelm-november-23-2018/