I Walk Alone But I’m Never Alone

Alleyway, Back Alley, Bin, City, CrimeI am so glad that the clocks have gone forward and that we that we now have lighter brighter evenings.

Just before the clocks went forward, I was finishing work in the dark. Because of the social distancing measures put in place, the streets were empty. I must admit, I felt really nervous walking home in the dark, through London streets with nobody around. It made me clutch my handbag really tightly in case someone jumped out of the shadows and tried to run off with my bag.

But now when I finish work it is light. Now there are people out jogging (lots of joggers), cycling, walking their dog or walking. There were a lot this evening. Seeing lots of people on on the way home makes me nervous for a very different reason.

I feel safer to see people around. But I am still determined to stay in my little bubble. A lot of people make sure they maintain a distance from others. But some people are more casual. Right since this all started, I have been trying to make sure that I am healthy for work. I am sleeping more than normal. I am eating well. I am cheering up my heart.

I am walking alone, but in my heart I have lots of my loved ones who are a huge source of strength to me. They are keeping me going, full of joy, full of determination. I’m never alone.

Which brings to mind the words of a song I have grown up with – it has been sung thousands of times I am sure at Anfield Stadium, the home of Liverpool Football Club. But today I am going to link to Katherine Jenkins…who sings this song almost as well as I do! I’m kidding, I’m kidding! My voice is not a scratch on hers.

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don’t be afraid of the dark

At the end of a storm
There’s a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

I’m Alright

Doctor, Op, Medical, Operation, HospitalA lovely blogger made a comment to me a while back that other bloggers might be worried about me during this time when we have been exposed to big challenges due to the…you know.

I just want to make it clear to you all, I am alright. I am actually more alright now than I was a couple of weeks ago. I know there is a lot of anxiety and concern (for good reason). You have probably seen how much media coverage there is on the challenges and you may have seen some of the sad outcomes.

I feel so much for those who have faced loss and grief. I also empathise with those who are struggling with the sacrifices that have been asked of them.

ddisiaI am trying to stay balanced with what I write myself about work. But please be assured that we are working as a strong team. We are supporting each other. We have had some hard days, but we encourage each other, we make time to have a laugh or a song. We keep working, everyone is working really really hard. We are looking after each other physically, mentally and emotionally.

Of course it is early days, but so far, we are doing ok. I am doing ok. My family are all doing ok. Anything might happen. I don’t take anything for granted. But neither do I let anxiety over what has not yet happened drain me of the energy I need for each day.

Don’t tell Gary about the song below. He will never forgive me for posting a U2 video. I chose it because of that “it’s alright, it’s alright, it’s allllllright” part.


Happy Anniversary To Me

Tomorrow – 4th April – is the anniversary of what I consider the best day ever. Well…perhaps not the best day ever, but the first day of what I consider the very best period of my life. My first day as an international volunteer.

assduJoy of joys! I will be working tomorrow. But when I come home, I am going to break into the Lindt chocolate my manager gave me and perhaps pour myself a glass of wine. Only because, I want to mark one of the most miraculous things that happened in my life. To be one of a handful of single women, out of many tens of thousands of applicants invited to be an international volunteer – it felt like a miracle had occurred.

I had already been a full-time volunteer since the age of sixteen. I had put in at least one thousand volunteer hours each year and additionally worked to support myself on a part-time wage. But now at the age of twenty-nine, I was assigned as an international volunteer. My life was to be wherever they sent me from then on. I would no longer earn any money at all.

I don’t really get these people who go on TV and say they have always dreamed of being a popstar. Being an international volunteer is the best! The best ever ever! There is no other career like it!

I have no idea how this world economic system is planning to crawl out of the current blow it has been dealt. But if you want to get involved in volunteering – there is a huge amount of work to do. Best place to start is on your doorstep. There is a lot of work ahead!

The Plan For This Evening

For the first time I have come home feeling really tired physically. I had to start earlier and I ended up having to do work I would not normally be expected to do. It was very physical. I had to remember all of my manual handling training. But this evening, it’s that “I can feel every muscle in my body throbbing” kind of tiredness.

Therefore, I am going to have a delicious dinner and…a lovely relaxing bath and…smother myself with my lavender sleepy lotion and…put my fleecy pyjamas on and…watch “Masterchef” and…go to bed.

Sounds like a great plan – does it not!


Always Learning

asaosaFor the past few weeks, work has been very different. You know why. But today was different again. I was receiving “on the job” training to do things I have never done before. It was interesting. My brain is buzzing tonight as I had to learn so quickly and put it all into practice straight away.

One day to the next has been so unpredictable these past few weeks. We have no idea which of our staff are going to be in. We have no idea how many patients will come our way, or how intense work will be.

We just all keep going. So far so good for me…my legs never get tired. I think I am becoming more accustomed to these long shifts because I am feeling less and less tired. I am still sleeping like a baby, which I am sure is doing me wonders.

NHS England are taking care of business!


Poop On The Patio

Castle Park, Hotel, Terrace, ParkNo photos of the actual poop – I promise!

I only mention it because there was a danger that as a member of the health service I was in danger of acquiring an inflated sense of importance. Suddenly the entire NHS have been exalted to superhero status (quite right too!), but to keep me grounded, I had a reminder this week that just because I am working ridiculously long days in extremely demanding conditions, there is no reason to feel all elevated.

Instead I was assigned the task of scraping the poop off the patio because my clients, who are now working from home, were sunbathing in their garden (which is an appropriate exercise when social distancing) and complained that all they could see was the poop on the patio. By the looks of things, it had been there for days. Poor clients had not thought of clearing it off the patio themselves.

iashSo I put on my PPE and went about the task.

Not only am I fighting on the front line of the invisible war…I am also an expert at property maintenance.

No task too great…no task too menial. Self-importance is soooooo overrated. Long ago, when I saw it in others who have had a big influence on me and been an inspiration, I realized that humility is one of the most beautiful qualities a human can display. I have fallen in love with people when I witnessed their humility. So…I am going to remind myself that poop on the patio is no big deal.

Not only will I carry on working hard at my day job…I’ll roll up my sleeves and take on any other work that needs to be done.


It’s All Gone Out The Window

Practice, Op, Doctor, Medical, EquipmentAt work we have lots of excellent procedures in place and additionally very helpful processes that help us to be super organised. Normally, our entire operation goes very smoothly.

However…just over a month ago we could tell something was changing. Three weeks ago, it exploded. Since then the pace at work has been unbelievable. All those great processes that help us stay organized and help things run smoothly…I am afraid “it’s all gone out of the window”.

At the moment it feels like we are constantly being bombarded with new work. But my manager has been great. She has come up with some different ways of organising us so that we can keep up with the work. So far, so good. We are somehow just about managing. But there seems no time to breathe!

sadiadaIt’s not the only area of my life where normal routines have “gone out the window”. My blogging is all over the place. Normally I always make time for SHARE-YOUR-WORLD posts. At the moment, I am struggling. Instead you are seeing a random mishmash of posts with my spurious thoughts.

My excuse is that I am in the middle of what feels like a tornado at work. We are all spinning around and somehow, we are managing to keep on top of things. But I come home and my priority is food, shower, sleep. So forgive me…my posts might be a bit spurious for some time to come!

It’s all gone out the window…but somehow. I am managing to just about keep up!