Waiting For Jack

Jack is a man in demand. He is often busy with functions and events on a Saturday evening.

truth or dareI am usually busy during the day time on a Saturday. But in the evening, rather than heading out with friends, I have found I am eager to be home.

I can hardly contain my excitement that Jack will be coming over. I usually have a quick tidy up, have a shower and a rest and keep checking my phone in case he thinks he can get here sooner rather than later. But it is almost always after midnight that he arrives.

Key, Heart, Love, For Two, MarryI wish I could give him spare keys. But I would have to get permission from my landlords to have a keys cut for him. I don’t think they would be keen. And in all honesty, I don’t think I trust him. When we lived together, he would be frequently be grumbling that he had lost his keys – although I don’t think he ever really lost them, he just didn’t know where he had put them down.

Meantime, I am wide awake waiting, so thrilled that he is going to come to me. I waited over four years for Jack. Surely I can wait another hour or so without losing heart.

I Wish You Would Come Over For A Cuppa

Why don’t you come on over to my little place and have a cuppa? We can catch up on all our news. It’s been so long since we talked.

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I still remember how you always drank your tea. It has been almost five years now since I moved out Jack. I guess a lot can change in five years. Maybe your tastes have changed. That’s alright, I have all sorts of different herbal and fruity teas and I have a range of Nespresso capsules. You used to pinch Nespresso capsules from …

I have a few questions I would like to ask you. Don’t be afraid. I don’t want to make things hard for you. I want to know how you feel about me returning home. I want my life back. I want my career back. I want to be near to all of my friends. How would it effect you? If people started to watch how you were acting around me, and teasing you – how would you react? Would you do the same again?

Do you remember the envelope you received with a little card with a picture of Durdle Daw on the front from a mystery “GLH” with a wad of bank notes stuffed inside? I should never have done that. It was a really weird thing to do. I see that now. I was just so baffled at why you were being so hostile and why you would not speak to me. After I was attacked I was suddenly miles away from you, hours away. It was unbearable. That’s why I took out of my bank account over half my savings and put it in an envelope and managed to get it to you through the hands of my sister when she visited London.

It was in a larger envelope I asked her to leave at the main reception at a studio over in Elstree. I wrote on the envelope the name of the project you were working on the time. It was only when it reached there that they would open the envelope and see a smaller one with your name on it. You would never know that money came from me.

It was odd. I know that. It felt like a way of proving that all I wanted was peace, and there was no way I was going to let you be my enemy. I was going to give give and give as much as I could afford despite your hostility.

I don’t regret it. I heard you were driving a new car not long afterwards. The money went to good use. What bothers me, is that you are still not ready to talk. How long do I need to wait Jack?

I don’t regret the money really. Not one bit. It’s just that I have spent so much money on buying a ticket go to Australia to see the man I am in love with. It is frightening having so little left of my savings. But I don’t need that money. I will be alright.

What would mean more is some token from you that you have let go of whatever has been hurting you. Because I have no intention of being a source of hurt to you. I could have loved you, easily and probably would have loved you forever. You would have given me an amazing purpose. The man I am in love with now, he is wonderful and I love him, but he cannot give me a sense of purpose like you. Still I love him so much. You probably would not get on with him in all honesty, and you would annoy him so much.

Still Jack – I still do wish we could sit down and have a cuppa and sort all of this out.