Tag Archives: tired

Don’t Worry…About A Thing

Just a little reminder that I am still republishing older posts most days. I know it can be confusing. But most of my posts recently are about events back in 2018/2019.

I am jiggered! Do you know what that means? If you are a northerner, I expect you understand, but if not, it means I am tired out. Wiped out, done in, exhausted! I have a genuine reason! I have worked long long hours every day from Wednesday until now…and my body is busy. Busy in a way I cannot comprehend, but all sorts must be happening with little apricot.

Work has been fairly busy, especially Friday. I got a bit worked up about something on Friday afternoon. The past basically. Everything that happened with Jack. It upset me – a lot. I had a terrible night on Friday, I had a real sharp pain that felt “unearthly”! It kept me awake which was frustrating because I had to be up early to work on Saturday.

All is good now…and I should be looking forward to a rest day…HOWEVER (a “however” in capitals is very foreboding)…I have a hospital appointment tomorrow, including another CT scan. Always wanting to be told I have the all clear…but I have so recently had head problems…I am fearing it might be news I don’t want to hear.

But…what is the point of worrying?!!! It is not going to help anything. So…instead, I shall settle down and hope for a good night’s sleep instead. Good idea hey! I am going to publish this post before I fall asleep here at my desk.

Goodnight ūüôā

Oh and Goldfinch sent me lovely messages, which still cheer me up more than anybody and anything gracing my life.

The Plan For This Evening

For the first time I have come home feeling really tired physically. I had to start earlier and I ended up having to do work I would not normally be expected to do. It was very physical. I had to remember all of my manual handling training. But this evening, it’s that “I can feel every muscle in my body throbbing” kind of tiredness.

Therefore, I am going to have a delicious dinner and…a lovely relaxing bath and…smother myself with my lavender sleepy lotion and…put my fleecy pyjamas on and…watch “Masterchef” and…go to bed.

Sounds like a great plan – does it not!



showTonight it was The British Bake-Off Final!!! Yay!!! Only I was so tired after work that I forgot! I came home and they were just about to announce the winner. So I turned the television off straight away…as I want to watch the show from the start before I know who the winner is. It will be so hard to avoid hearing who the winner is before I get to watch the show….but it is too late to watch it now.

I am jiggered! But it is something to look forward to watching another evening. Actually tomorrow evening will probably be my best chance because I finish an hour early tomorrow.

recvoeryngDay Two of my six day week of long long shifts has passed – four more to go. However, tomorrow I have to wake up extra early because some builders want to come and see my little nest. They want to come at 6:30am before I leave the house to go to work. Great!

I am shattered…but my mind is racing with thoughts of work today. The mix of fast paced busy busy and feeling it is vital to deliver proper patient care by making sure I listen and reassure. Sometimes delivering that little touch, empathy, personal interest is going to matter more than everything else we do. But is a constant juggling act. If you spend too long with one patient…you have ten staring at you! They are cross because of how long they had to wait.

afterw rod.jpgI am trying to relax my mind and let it unwind.¬†Fortunately, my body is so exhausted I…I suspect that my racing thoughts have little chance of disturbing my sleep. I want to sleep…and wake up early so that I can give my little nest a quick tidy up before these builders arrive. I am so houseproud! But right now…I am just glued to the sofa…like a barnacle!

At least I had a warm dinner tonight…courtesy of Marks And Spencers. Jack sent an email with some photos of a project he has been working on. I can tell he has been having a lot more fun than I have! When I think of Jack…I relax. He makes me relax.

It’s Been A Long Day

wrecked.jpgIt has been a long day. I don’t like doing twelve hour shifts. You come home and feel so exhausted you just want to collapse onto the sofa and eat junk food. Thank goodness I don’t actually have any junk food in the house. Instead I had pureed pear for my dinner. Yes I was so tired, I could not face cooking. I might have a slice of bread and hummus later, if I manage to muster the energy to sit up. I have been telling myself to get up and have a shower and go to bed.

But I am battling that mental sludge…you know when you remember all the things you said and did when you were tired. But when you work twelve hours in an intense environment, you do become tired. I had a constant headache (which I have had since I was hit by that roof) and I felt dizzy at times – but I pushed on.

jiggersAnd the thing is…I have six days of this! One day down…five to go! Aaaaaagh! Am I going to feel this wrecked at the end of every day? I need to think about picking up something quick and easy to eat. I need more than pureed pear for my dinner all week.

So…I hope my little mistakes, which were induced by tiredness, will be overlooked. Everyone seemed happy enough with me. Shower. Bed. I am so sleepy tired!

No Jack until Saturday evening. After work he is taking me up to the Cotswolds. We will be up there for three nights. Back in London on the Tuesday.

Looking Forward To…

I have been a very busy bee this week…crazy busy in fact.

I have been feeling utterly exhausted and all weekend have been trying to catch up on my sleep debt.  But by the time you read this I will be having a bite to eat with some friends before I come home and collapse into bed before another early start tomorrow.

At the start of this week, I had some very special visitors.  My youngest sister Milly came to stay for a couple of nights with her lovely husband and the super adorable little munchkin Рmy niece, who is just over 15 months old.

When they arrived, my sister and her husband made a couple of trips back and to the car to fetch all the extra luggage they carry around now that they have a baby to think about.¬† Meanwhile, Little One did the most adorable thing.¬† She walked up to me smiling shyly and then as she was close she held out her arms and gave me a big kiss.¬† She can say “hiya” now.

It was, as always, wonderful to be with them.  I cooked lovely food and baked a yummy cake, which all went down like a treat.

This is little one on a travel pram they brought who decided she would wisely use the travel time to catch up on her reading list.


We went out to the park with Little One and then took her to one of these indoor play centers with a little ball pool and all sorts of other features to keep Little One excited and entertained for hours!

How she loves the other children, even though they were notably older than she is.  Milly mentioned that all of her cousins and the children of their friends are all a few months or a couple of years older than my neice and she does her best to keep up with all of them.

Well, when I saw the writing prompt from  Sarah Elizabeth Moore


….a hundred things went through my head, as usual – for there are many, many things I am looking forward to.¬† But after such a splendid visit from my nearest and dearest, I think one of the things I am looking forward to the most, is the next time I am with my gorgeous sister Milly and her very lovable family.





Petits Biscuits Français

Despite all our attempts to see the glass as half full, the silver outline to the storm clouds, and most importantly to do to others what you would like them to do to you…there are days when your toils seem vain and you come home heavy hearted.

Yesterday was‚Ķhmm‚Ķwell, I guess it would be conservative to describe it as ‚Äúdisappointing‚ÄĚ.¬† I don‚Äôt want to play the blame game, the name and shame game.¬† But I was not a happy bunny20180606_190238-1‚Ķand for good reason.¬† Yeah…I was disappointed with what I saw and heard.¬† It was¬†one of those horrible days when you intensely want to walk out of your work-place and never go back again!

I came home and showered and put my pyjamas on (I finished work at 8pm, was home by 8.30pm, in my pyjamas by 9pm).¬† Always a nice feeling…”safety”…as if, nobody can get me now!¬† “I am in my pyjamas, that means NO!”¬† Even if I am not ready to go to sleep, pyjamas mean I am officially “off-duty”.

After such a hard day at work, I felt such a need for comfort or solace or something to cheer me up as I rested my¬†weary bones. (I am not going to have a rant I promise you.)¬† I would have loved to have a glass of wine to sip to help me forget my troubles.¬† But I didn’t.¬† I don’t keep wine in the cupboard (that is one I learnt from my Dadda).¬† It would be too easy to turn to it on rainy days for comfort.¬† If you haCup Of Teave to walk down to the shops to buy some wine, you normally come across something to cheer you up on the way.

But I was in my pyjamas, so I was not going to walk to the shops to buy anything at this point.  So instead I made myself a cuppa and wondered if there was anything beside green leaves and crispbreads to cheer me up.

That is when I noticed the a little gift that my landlady brought me back from France recently.¬† She told me that they are a little bit like short bread.¬† Shortbread!!!¬† Seriously yum…but if my memory serves me correctly from home-economics class at school, it is equal parts flour, sugar and butter.¬† That makes something it I should be wary of!

Well…I opened the box and was pleasantly surprised to find that there were many individually wrapped packets of three super thin biscuits.¬† They have put all the joy back into short-bread.¬† I had three wafer thin¬†petits biscuits fran√ßais and avoided feeling any regret.

Simple little pleasure, simple little surprise.  Thank you France, for supplying a little sweet treat that comes wrapped up in moderate sized portions.   You have made me smile and allowed me to rest my head with a happy little thought cheering my heart.  Merci beaucoup!