When Saying THANK YOU Is Just Not Enough To Express How You Feel

I was taught by my parents from a tender age to say “THANK YOU” on all occasions! Those three essential words, “PLEASE”, “THANK YOU” and “SORRY” make such a difference as you go around your day to day life.

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But I will admit there is one man I never had the chance to thank properly. I owe him a lot, more than many other people really. It is highly possible he saved me life.

Thank you to Gary! Gary who found me that morning, covered in blood. Gary who called an ambulance. I am so tired, I don’t think I have the energy to relive that event right now. I have often wondered about Gary. I remember sending an emotional THANK YOU card to the council, asking them to make sure Gary received it, but I never heard anything back. I still have not felt I could face Gary yet. The thought of how he must have felt when he saw my body – it’s an absolute nightmare to me. I have wanted to forget everything that happened that night and that intense time in the hospital when I was questioned “aggressively” by police and hospital staff.

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I am not well at the moment – I am full of a cold and I am shattered. I got up and showered and dressed for Jack. He arrived and sent me straight back to bed, from where I have been answering emails and looking at posts on my WordPress Reader. I have been playing him the songs other bloggers featured in SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY. He has been making me drinks and he grilled me a bagel for my breakfast.

He is sitting on a fancy chair I have in my bedroom, near to the window, so he is breathing in fresh air, rather than my germs. But this day is going to be no fun to him, and he is at risk of catching my lurgy while he hangs around. So I am hoping he will go soon. (I love him, I just don’t want him to be ill, neither do I enjoy him seeing me look so rough!)

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http://www.bayley-sage.co.uk

I am so glad Gary found me that morning. It really may be that he saved my life. Although the past four and a half years have been challenging at times, there has also been so much wonderful. Although today, I feel so ill and yucky…there is this adorable man who wants to go and buy some soup from Bayley and Sage (posh organic supermarket) and heat it for my lunch. But I don’t feel like soup. The only thing I am enjoying at the moment is hot honey and lemon.

I am so thankful to be alive. So thankful that Jack is here, even though I want him to go soon. So thankful to Gary who was diligently doing his rounds and noticed something that looked strange and came over to check it out. I am glad Gary found me – and very likely saved my life. I am sorry Gary – I don’t want to relive that awful day right now. Maybe Jack might be able to help me find you and thank you properly one day.

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This is my response to the writing prompt from Sarah Elizabeth Moore

Writing Prompt #46

More To Come!

shes back.jpgI came back from Australia with all these wonderful things I want to tell you about my trip there and my time with Goldfinch, and yet for some strange reason I still have not really sat down to write about what was one of the highlights of my life! I was sooooooo happy there with him!!! It’s all stored up in my mind and heart and I am sure it will eventually leak out into my posts. I think I have selfishly been enjoying the euphoria and contentment he breathed into me, before I share it with the WordPress world. Perhaps in someways in my head, I am still over there with him 🙂

bloggging6Instead something else has been occupying my attention. You may have noticed that I responded to a writing prompt from Kim, the creator of Writer Side of Life. When I first saw Kim’s prompt, I had just a little seed of an idea. I sat down and began what I thought would be a short flash fiction post. You probably know I usually write much more about my personal life than fiction, so it’s always a bit of an experiment.

Well….I now have published over thirty-five parts (I did count accurately yesterday, but I had a really late night and I have forgotten exactly how many posts there are)! The story of Annabelle has a habit of entangling itself with elements of my own personal life. But I have been trying to make her a fictional character as much as possible.

waiting on a benchI have not published anything for the last few days because I really wanted to make sure I concentrated on how to finish this story. I have grown to care so much about that happens to Annabelle. She is not going to have a Disney princess ending, I promise you that. But I am going to finish her story on a positive. Why on earth would we want to read anything with a miserable ending? I now know how it’s going to go! It feels great to know what is going to happen. I have three more posts scheduled for next week. Then I am going to give my attention to the grand finale!

I cannot believe how satisfying it has been to work on a longer fictional project! I know it needs a lot of editing to make it more interesting to a reader who is looking at it with completely fresh eyes and knows nothing about the personal life of Caramel that has inspired much of Annabelle’s tale. I have promised myself that editing my little novelette will be a great project during the cold winter months.

chilled.pngI was very nervous about a long project. Personally I think blogging on WordPress is more suited to shorter posts, entertaining or interesting or just plain delightful posts. I didn’t think anyone would have an interest in me focusing attention a long story about a fictional character. But it turns out that’s what most of us have been reading for donkey’s years!

I had huge encouragement to keep working at it from numerous bloggers, and found the comments from the following bloggers especially encouraging:

Paula Light

Ursula

Tom Burton

Jay-lyn Doerkson

Carol Anne

satisfying.jpg…and I have lost track of how many lovely comments I have received encouraging me to keep on developing Annabelle’s story! But thank you so much to everyone who has given me the impetus to continue. It’s one of the most satisfying things I have done since I started blogging. I am looking forward to tweaking the last few parts so that they nicely tie up the story lines for Annabelle and the other characters in her story.

This was the original writing prompt post from Kim, the creator of Writer Side of Life:

Free Creative Writing Prompts

I chose a prompt under the ROMANCE section: 3. Who is she waiting for? which came with the picture below:

kim's prompt
Photo by Thiago Matosfrom Pexels 

These are the parts of Annabelle Riley’s story that I have already published, and there are more to come (you will be glad to know the end is in sight!)

The Great Bloggers’ Bake-Off Round-Up

By now I think everybody will know the results of

THE 2019 GREAT BLOGGERS’ BAKE-OFF

Our STAR BAKER  was Sheree Sheree the creator of View from the Back

with her wonderful Gâteau Au Chocolat Framboise Spectaculaire

which you can read more about in Sheree’s post:

Great Bloggers’ Bake-Off

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A huge thanks to all of the bloggers who took on the challenge set in this year’s GREAT BLOGGERS’ BAKE-OFF and to all who cheered our baking bloggers on with your lovely comments and likes.

Thank you to Gary who thought of the idea to begin with and to our special judge Jeanne. It has been an absolute delight to work along with these two on THE BAKE-OFF.

This is the round-up post where you will find the cakes that were baked during our BAKE-OFF and links to their posts on the BAKE-OFF CAKE PARADE  and links to the posts that our bloggers created themselves.

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The Strawberry Queen

Reina de Fresa – Let’s Celebrate!

Queen of strawberries

 

Suze’s Failcake

black hole cake

 

The Messy Blogger’s Chocolate Cake

https://thebeewritesdownloads.wordpress.com/2019/03/24/baking-cakes-feeling-good-and-a-mystery/

The Messy Bloggers Cake

 

Sophie’s Almond Buttercream Cake

https://foodzesty.com/2019/03/25/almond-buttercream-layer-cake/

fiesta cake

 

Naked Cake!

My naked cake recipe

My naked cake for the Great Bloggers’s Bake-Off

Naked Cake!

 

The Tiramisu Cake

https://hawkfeatherstories.com/great-blogger-bake-off-2nd-place-winner/

the tiramisu cake

 

Ginger Lime Sponge Cake

Ginger & Lime Cake

 

The Gorgeous Guinness Cake

The Great Bloggers’ Bake-Off — Perfect St. Patrick’s Day Cake

The Guinness Cake

 

They Won’t Forget This Birthday Cake

The Great Bloggers’ Bake-Off (aka: Why I Will Never be Top Chef)

disaster cake

 

Thanks to the very talented daughter of

The Lemon Meringue Cake With White Chocolate Ganache Drip

hello and wow

 

The Mandarin Mocha Chocolate Sponge Cake

https://lovewillbringustogether.wordpress.com/2019/03/24/great-bloggers-bake-off-entry/

bob cake

 

The Orange Almond Sponge Cake

WP Bake Off Entry

Orange Almond Cake

 

The Strawberry Mango Cake

https://theresaly520.wordpress.com/2019/03/25/the-great-bloggers-bake-off-strawberry-mango-cake/

The Tropical Cake

 

The Gluten Free Dairy Free Summer Fruits Ginger And Lime Sponge Cake Smothered With Dairy Free Chocolate

https://bereavedsingledad.blog/2019/03/24/great-bloggers-bake-off-not-gone-to-plan/ 

 

Chococcino – Caramel Style

The Crushed Caramel Cake

I Love Summer Cake

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And that is the last you will hear from me about

THE GREAT BLOGGERS’ BAKE-OFF until 2020!

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They think it’s all over…

…it is now!

A Phenomenon

wonder

Here is a phenomenon none of my physics books explain

How is it that the moment I finish my prayer

The door bell rang

I don’t have a door for strangers to call upon

I just happened to be at the home of a friend

Silently praying

They rang the doorbell as I said “Amen”

And they soothed my aching heart

With your words

I have no idea how this miracle of prayer

Works faster than the speed of light

You answered

Nowhere on earth could I be alone

Even when my whispers to you are within

You hear me

Thank You For Being You, Wonderful You… And Not Somebody Else

I moved to this little nest on 28th December 2016. One evening something happened which made me feel positive about being here. Before then I had been very unsure whether I would be able to settle here.

Have you ever been through a crises in confidence?  Perhaps after a series of failures, you felt inadequate to face any more future challenges.  Or maybe trials had eroded your optimism and worry had started to gnaw at your outlook.  I am going to tell you how a complete stranger imparted encouragement to me at a time my confidence was failing. She probably had no idea what her words meant to me.cash

I was itching to be back in London. I had spent almost a year with friends and family after I was attacked and was hoping that now I was physically and emotionally ready to take on the Big Smoke.

My first situation when I returned to London turned out disastrously.   I will save the story for another post, because I am going have to think very carefully about the words I choose regarding the man who was my boss…hmm… I gave my notice in after a couple of weeks and moved to another part of London.  However, whilst I was in a better situation, I had a knockback when I was involved in an accident at work and had to be taken to hospital for a CT scan.  After being discharged, the hospital personnel told me I needed to rest rest rest before I thought about work again.  I admitted to my bosses that I would not be able to say when I would be safe to return to work and we agreed to end my temporary contract.  So I spent the next few weeks with family again.

Anyway… still determined to get back to my life and career as a full-time volunteer in London, I found lovely accommodation and another job and I moved down to London a couple of months later, 28th December, ready to start work the following week.

I was a tad anxious though.  My previous experiences had made me doubt my capabilities to be… what is that word that helps you to achieve your goals?  Oh yes, TENACIOUS!

failureIn all honesty, I didn’t really have much fight in me after everything I had been through. I was rather feeble emotionally and was almost expecting I was going to have yet another failure.

At times, we can be our own worst critic.  I was frustrated with myself, frustrated with my body for letting me down (as I perceived it).  It was gnawing at my confidence that I was still not fully “back on my feet”.  Was it me?  Was there something wrong with me that meant I was doomed for persistent failures?

What if I let down my new landlord and my new boss?  What if I failed again?

It was with thoughts like these swimming around my head that I moved back to London. There was a young woman sitting near me on the train journey down to London I have often wished I could thank.  I brought a large suitcase and a small suitcase when I moved.  She kindly helped me to get both cases all the way from the railway station and onto the underground train I needed to catch, even though she was going a different way.  I cannot remember her name.  I only know that she worked for St Georges Hospital and she was hoping one day to work in plastic surgery, treating those who have suffered from burns and injuries in war torn areas.

What would I do about my crises of confidence?

Cash-machineThe first night I arrived I went to a cash machine on the local high street.  As I approached and pulled my debit card out to insert into the machine, I noticed that a large amount of money was sticking out of the machine.  I did not touch it, but it looked to be around £200-£300 at least.

I was not sure what to do at first.  The machine would not allow me to insert my own card.  It was beeping and there was a prompt notice on the screen asking the user to take the cash.  A man drew up on a motorcycle and stood behind me waiting his turn to use the machine.  I looked up and down the high street wondering if there was anyone nearby who was running back for the cash they had forgotten, but there was nobody else around.  I was a bit worried that if I asked the man behind me, he might grab the cash himself and make a run for it.  I felt responsible to guard the money I had found.  The was a mini-supermarket nearby.  Maybe I should take the cash inside there for safe -keeping and report to them what had happened.  Then I remembered there is a police phone number for non-emergencies.  So I rang 101 and asked what I should do.  The administrator on the line asked me if there was anyone else around.  She was very kind and expressed her sympathy for me standing there bewildered because somebody else’s money was in jeopardy.

Suddenly I saw a woman (I would have guessed in her sixties) running back towards us. She was returning with the horror of realizing she had forgotten the money she had just withdrawn.  I reassured her it was still there.  She was so glad, so grateful.

It was this lady, this complete stranger who then said to me the words I used in the title of this post:

Thank You For Being You, Wonderful You… And Not Somebody Else

The lady on the phone at 101 had heard everything.  She was also very kind.  She told me that some people would just have run off with the money without a thought.  She said “that lady is right, you should take her words to heart.”

I walked home with tears in my eyes.  Those words had such a powerful effect on me. They were desperately needed words that bolstered my courage.  I had a reminder that what defines success or failure, is not how much money you earn, the career you are striving within, the qualifications and accolades you may have been awarded.  Success is not having a perfect situation, a perfect body, perfect health, or being able to say you have never been bullied and you have never been the victim of a crime.

Qualities of the heart…that’s what my parents aimed to cultivate in us.   They wanted to be sure that where-ever life took us, whether we were in company or all alone, we would live by the values they had sounded down into our little hearts.  There would be times when we might not know exactly what to do.  We might meet challenges that bamboozled us!  But so long as we stayed within the beautiful lessons for life that we had been taught we would be successful.

What a wonderful thing to say to someone, and a complete stranger at that!  I would love that lady to know how much I appreciated her expression of thanks on my first night back in London.

Thank You For Being You, Wonderful You… And Not Somebody Else