I found out recently that Kristian, the creator of Tales from the mind of Kristian, has a fabulous telephone/ radio/ podcast voice even when he is dying from manflu. If you have not heard him already, please make sure you listen to the podcast interview conducted by Bottomless Coffee 007:
The lovely Kristian has also nominated me for The Sunshine Blogger Award, as you can see from his post below:
https://talesfromthemindofkristian.wordpress.com/2019/01/20/sunshine-blogger-award-nomination-7/
The Rules
- Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them. -THANK YOU KRISTIAN!
- Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.
- Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions.
- Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
- List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.
Questions From Kristian
If you knew someone who had given up on reading, what book would you give them to get them interested?
It depends on them. I need to find out what they are interested in. I would need to identify which genre at least might tempt them.
If they have not read for a while, I would not recommend to them anything too heavy going. Something light and easy and witty. Perhaps some Jane Austen to cheer them up. I forgot how much I enjoyed “Sense And Sensibility” until I read it again recently.
But if they don’t like that genre…I don’t know what to suggest. Something with a happy ending.
What do you consider one of your character flaws?
My flaws! – how long do you have Kristian?
Oh – you only asked for one.
There is a new development in my character that is troubling me. I don’t believe it was ever part of my personality before the events that have changed my life and taken me away from where I want to be. I have noticed I am more likely to take certain risks that I did not before.
For example, I left a job in the summer, before I had another one to start. Things worked out though. I ended up in a job I enjoyed more working with a fantastic team. I met Goldfinch – a complete stranger – and started an amazing romance with him. I have agreed to go on a “blind-date” (yeah I know!) with a friend of a friend at the end of February.
This risk-taking side of me is new. So far things have worked out just fine. But what if one of these riskier more daring decisions does not work out?
The thing is I am taking these risks, because in a sense, the worst thing has already happened. I was crushed, my world came crashing down. There is a part of me that doesn’t care what else I lose. That is a flaw, because in actual fact there are more things I could lose, there are more ways I could be hurt.
And yet…I can sense that while I am just existing without purpose, I am likely to take risks. When I had a strong sense of purpose, I was much more careful and protected what I had.
What is the last song you listened to before reading this?
Funny enough, I was working on another post and trying to decide whether to add a certain song. (Zoe – Sunshine On A Rainy Day) I decided to leave it out in the end. But it fits pretty perfectly with this post I think. I don’t know why the screenshot is such an unfortunate angle of such a beautiful woman:
What would you like people to know about you, that may not be obvious?
Erm…
I don’t really know how to answer that. I try to be obvious in most of my posts whilst not publishing any information that could compromise my safety or privacy.
Here is something I have mentioned in another post. My motivation for blogging changed a while ago. I stopped looking at statistics, because I am not interested in how many strangers read my posts. I love the friendly camaraderie with those who do read my posts. But my motivation for some time has been my family – who still don’t know about my blogging. Some of the experiences I have written about I withheld from them in the past. For example, they have no idea of the challenges I faced during my first job in London with my boss.
I want them to have this if anything happens to me, as a result of the head injuries I received. I want most of this site to be of great enjoyment and comfort to them, with a few eye-openers I have not wanted to share before.
What impression would you like to leave people with?
I think the same impression as I am desperately trying to give to my family, friends and others who worry about me:
I am alright.
- They worry about my problems and the events that crushed me. They worry about my head injuries and the health-scares I have had since that night. I keep saying that I can hardly wrap myself up in cotton wool and stay indoors everyday.
- They can’t forget what was done to me that night (whereas I seem to have got that one firmly in the box, sealed it tight, and it’s up on the very top shelf of my mind. I wish they could let it fade. They seem to see me as the victim of this violent sexual crime. They want me to talk to them about how I am dealing with it. I honestly feel I have dealt with it! It does not cause me major issues nowadays and it hasn’t for a long while.
- They worry that I might become isolated emotionally with all my worries. I have learnt to talk to the right people when I need to and this writing malarkey is very helpful too.
I do understand them worrying, but I want everyone to know that since this all happened, I have been taking one step after another, one day at a time. I am doing alright. I am enjoying life. I might be a long way off from where I want to be. But what can I do? except keep taking one step after another, one day at a time?
I want everyone to have the impression that I am doing alright.
If you had to sing something in public, what song would you choose?
So easy! My go-to karaoke song has been the same for years – I love it!
Name a book that you are intending to read, at some point.
Well, I mainly read the classics to be honest. I read them over and over. There’s enough of them. I really want to read Mrs. Gaskell’s “North and South” again soon.
A more modern book that I need to read is the squeal to “Me Before You” by JoJo Moyes. The squeal is named “After You”. I think it will be a good book for me to read now that I have had to say goodbye to Goldfinch.
Do you have a favourite artist/painter, who are they?
I really am a bit ignorant when it comes to art I am afraid. But I do really like American landscape art. Have you heard of Albert Bierstadt for example? Here are some of his:
When I was in Houston, Texas, I loved the exhibitions on landscape art in the Museum of Fine Arts. An artist who can capture some of the aspects of creation I love and put them on canvass grabs my attention.
What subject that isn’t normally taught in schools, do you think should be?
I think there should be more provision to help teenagers recognise their own emotions like anger, jealousy, inadequacy and stress and practical strategies to deal with them.
Teenagers especially might not have that help and support with their emotional health at home. I wish there were qualified instructors at schools to prepare teenagers for the fact they need to learn how to control their emotions and if they become overwhelmed at any point with stress or challenges, who to turn to for support.
Do you have a pet? What animal is it, or what animal would you like to have?
I am not currently allowed to have a pet within my tenancy agreement. If I lived in the countryside, I would love a dog, long walks in the countryside and loyal companionship. But it would be cruel to have a dog here in London. You have to work so many hours just to be able to afford to live in London – a dog would be stuck on their own all day. I could not do that to a dog – it would be cruel.
We had cats for years growing up. But one pet I always wanted was a fluffy rabbit! I just wish it could run around all over the garden safely – I wouldn’t want it to feel trapped in a cage all the time.
Did I ever tell you the story about our neighbour’s rabbit “Rambo”? I will have a look though my posts…and if not, I have to tell you about him.
You wake up at 2am and can’t sleep. What do you do?
I send a text message to Goldfinch because it will be lunchtime for him.
Oh my goodness – he is even cuter than the fluffy bunny.
Have I mentioned lately how much I miss him? He went to a wedding last week. He texted me telling me about it – romantic and small. Aaaaah sigh!
Questions For My Nominees
- WHAT DO YOU DO TO KEEP FIT AND ACTIVE?
- YOU ARE WOKEN UP BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE WHO HAS MADE YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST TREAT – WHAT WOULD THAT BREAKFAST TREAT BE?
- ARE THERE ANY NEW-ISH FILMS OR TV SHOWS YOU ENJOYED RECENTLY THAT YOU WOULD RECOMMEND I WATCH?
- WHAT MOTIVATES YOU TO KEEP BLOGGING?
- IS THERE A PLACE WHERE YOU GO WHERE “EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME” – A CLUB, GROUP, PUB, CLASS, CONGREGATION?
- WHAT DO YOU FIND INSPIRING ABOUT NATURE?
- WHICH SONG WOULD GET YOU UP ON THE DANCE FLOOR AT A WEDDING RECEPTION OR PARTY?
- HAS ANYONE BEEN ABLE TO PULL OFF A BIG SURPRISE FOR YOU? or HAVE YOU PULLED OFF A BIG SURPRISE FOR SOMEONE ELSE?
- DO YOU REMEMBER WHO YOUR FIRST CRUSH WAS ON?
- IF WE WERE GOING OUT FOR DRINKS AND I WAS GOING TO BUY THE FIRST ROUND – WHAT WOULD I BUY FOR YOU?
- DO YOU FIND IT EASY TO BE HOPEFUL ABOUT THE FUTURE OR DO YOU TEND TO WORRY?
I have mentioned in a lot of my other posts, I am against celebrity culture and the glorification of imperfect humans. When I had my little stint of working in the music industry I saw that the musicians I had revered were total idiots. Ever since I have seen people become famous, sometimes for trivial reasons and then make a foolish decision or say something thoughtless, or someone accuses them of something dreadful, or the details of their personal life come spilling out – and then the media brings them down in flames.
Of the household names that so far seem to have retained fame without getting themselves in too much trouble (well as far as I know), I think Will Smith and Jennifer Aniston might be somewhere in the successful zone. Both became loved because of hugely popular sitcoms. Both seemed as likeable in their real life personality as the on-screen characters that made them famous, but I don’t pay any attention to media reports, as they seem to relish in highlighting the failings of people in the media…which sometimes seems just plain nasty…I can only presume provoked by envy.
Hmm….oooh it is such a tough question. There are lots of unsolved crimes I guess it would be helpful to solve – so that justice could be served. There are mysteries about our universe that many wonder about. There are personal questions I have, I guess in the past I had my suspicions about people or events that caused hurt…but as time has passed, the upset has faded.
In some ways I would like to know WHEN we will see the back of corruption and injustice, the end of pollution and disease, the end of crime and war. But I know that this issue of independence and rulership needs to be answered thoroughly to ensure the everlasting peace of this universe. When you live in such momentous times, where we are witnessing historical events that will affect every creature in the universe, I guess there is good reason to wait patiently for justice to be served. The results of human rulership are being recorded.
Some of my friends have been disappointed to see I only have goat’s butter. They find it tastes weird. I buy it because normal cow’s milk dairy products don’t agree with me any longer. But goat’s milk and goat’s butter are alright. They do have a particular taste though. I tend to buy cashew milk or soya milk more, but I love goat’s butter.
Red flags…does that mean warning signals? I guess I live my life in a fairly simple way. I have never developed any trust in this “system”. It’s not that I am disillusioned. I just saw from a very young age that while it provided a some stability and that we did need some kind of framework for justice, healthcare, education and other forms of welfare, I saw from a very early age that it was faulty.
So, as I walk through life, living with very few possessions, drawing enormous joy from this beautiful planet, focusing my time on what I can do to be helpful to others, be content, joyful and do what is good and kind, whenever I come across people with big political ideas or commercial ambitions, those seeking fame, fortune or glory…I just turn away and let them get on with it.
An elephant would be very cute if it was the size of a cat.
I don’t know if it is an “old person” thing really, but I iron everything – bed linen of course, all my clothes, tea towels, and underwear that the iron won’t melt. I love scented iron water. I don’t buy it anymore, because it seems such a waste of money, but when I first started working, one of the things I bought with my first wages was scented ironing liquid.
Oh boy!! Hiccups. I guess I hold my breath and see if that works. I am fairly fortunate in that if I ever do develop hiccups, they never last long. I try to ignore them and they seem to go away quickly.
I don’t mind a bit of rain when I am out. This is England, you can’t wait for the rain to stop to live your life. You just make sure there is an umbrella in your bag. But I guess I would tend to choose indoor activities on rainy days. It all depends who I am with 😉
I guess it is Jack. I also love writing about:
Ten of us having fun in the spectacular snowy scenery. We did things we never thought we would have the chance to. Our hosts asked their friends to give us a few surprise treats including a night on snowmobiles, a day sledging with husky dogs, and go-carting on an icy lake.
Aaaaah sigh! Picnics in a beauty spot with a wonderful man! This is something Jack and I are yet to experience. I am so looking forward to spending summer with him!
I live in London. Where would I recommend people visit? Probably The British Museum. I love it. But make sure you allow time to leave the museum and wander down to somewhere like Covent Garden.
If you want an edible treat go for afternoon tea at one of London’s famous hotels. Speaking of tea – I would recommend Fortnum and Mason if you are a tea enthusiast. There are so many great places to eat in London. Try The Ned for a great feel in the restaurants, or Brick Lane for a curry. There are so many great Turkish, Greek, Lebanese restaurants around North London. Jack loves food from the east end of the Mediterranean.
Life is very colourful. There is always a rainbow of subjects to write about. All the people, buildings, gardens, businesses I walk past each day. Anyone of them could become the center of a story really. Sometimes I think I ought to start writing down some of the things that catch my eye to use later.
Basketball. So much fun!
I do love walking dogs. I think I probably have a softer spot for dogs than I do cats, because many of the dogs I have looked after have had such gorgeous characters. The whole unconditional love thing is adorable. But when a dog has bad breath, when it licks your face, or your feet in the middle of the night, and the mess they can make…I don’t think I could make a commitment to a dog!
I want to be near to my family. Most of them are in England and Wales. So I don’t really want to move away from them. But I would love to spend short durations abroad (maybe three or four months).
I would also love to spend time in Austria – for no other reason than “The Sound Of Music”!!! What a stunning country. But I imagine I would be breaking out into song every five minutes.
But the rest would be mostly given away. Of course I would check if any of my family or friends were in any debt. Most of my friends have the common sense not to be, and none of my family do debt.
Flowers
Lots of things. If the weather is good, I go out walking. In the summer months, I love picnics. I love reading in the park.
I can’t think of a current comedy that makes me laugh. I used to like the older comedies – you know they type that had actors like David Jason in them.
It has been exciting to find a lot of variety in the sandwich world popping up for “Veganuary”. I was with Jack recently, and he bought me a Vegan Meatball Panini from a coffee shop. It was nice to try something really different.
Well…nowadays, I don’t allow the weight of the world to be on my shoulders. When I was younger I found I used to become anxious about a lot of things. I was given some wonderful advice when I was around seventeen and somebody spotted I was trying to be a perfectionist, finding it hard to say no, and trying to pack too much in without resting properly – they warned me back then about what stress can do. It’s important to have the right view of ourselves.
I have seen with my own eyes how damaging too much stress can be. I live by simple practical advice to keep stress minimal. I live simply. I enjoy work and give each task my all. I live within my means. I work to make sure I keep good relations with family, friends and colleagues. I try to stay balanced – eat well, exercise regularly, have sufficient rest and quiet time, and make sure I enjoy relaxing and socializing with friends.
I was not really a collector. I inherited my brother’s stamp collection. I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. I remember with shame that I tried to carefully peel some of the stamps from the pages so I could use them on letters I had written to friends. I was much too young to be entrusted with his stamp collection.
Lots of things. I enjoy work, especially the unpaid work I do for charities I have worked with for years. Work is very satisfying.
To explain what I mean, I want to tell you about my friends chickens. She took some chickens that had been on a battery farm. It was so heartbreaking when they arrived. They hardly had any feathers, their claws were all curled up and deformed. They sat in a huddle and didn’t move. I went to visit a few weeks later and they were completely transformed! Now they had beautiful feathers. They were roaming around her huge garden. We played football with the kids and chickens decided they wanted to play! They were no longer the chickens that had been mistreated. They were now thriving and full of life and energy.
Well…I have seen similar transformations with some of the new volunteers who came along to one of our projects in the area they lived. There was a woman who stands out in my mind. She was assigned to the painting and decorating team. During the early part of the project, the team are usually working outside. Painting exterior woodwork like fences, gates, outbuildings, priming two by one timbers (used as shadow batoning for a suspended ceiling)…and later on they decorate the inside of the building.
Anyway…by the end of the project a quiet, timid, avoiding eye contact with anyone, standing on her own, shaking with nerves, easily intimidated, scared to make a mistake woman had blossomed magnificently. We ended up discovering she had the most extraordinary laugh. Such an infectious giggley laughter. She was just like those chickens. She was chatting with everyone on site. I remember her chatting, laughing and singing. We patiently trained her and the shaky hand stopped. Her work was excellent.
Well…I would like you to imagine the following scene. (You may have heard a version of this before.) After a violent storm, tens of thousands of star-fish were washed up on to a beach, beyond the reach of the normal tide level. Once the sun began to rise, the star-fish were at serious risk of dying. A local man observing the devastation noticed a little girl bending over and picking up starfish one at a time and throwing them into the sea. He approached the girl and said “I know you mean well, but you do realize you are not really going to make any difference. There are tens of thousands of star-fish stranded.” The girl little girl looked at him. She thought about his words for a moment. She then bent down and picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea. She said to the man, “I just made a difference to that one.”
I have had some challenges to deal with, I had eighteen months of illness around eleven / twelve years ago. I had four surgical operations and had a very unpleasant time with postoperative infections. My immune system seemed to be completely thrashed for some time and I had so little energy. What I found tough was that it seemed as if I would never be able to achieve my long-term goal of qualifying to be ajn international volunteer. But amazingly, I did!
Of course that led me to make a foolish decision. I was on my own late at night in a park in London (because I felt I couldn’t face going home) when I was the victim of a serious crime. A security guard found me unconscious the next morning. I was hidden in bushes and badly beaten up. When I woke up I was in an ambulance speeding to a nearby hospital. I was told that it is possible my attacker left me thinking I was dead. So…yes, that was a challenge.
The crime I was victim of, I dealt with fairly quickly, I put it in a box, with a lid on and locked that box. I put it right on the tallest shelf where it was hard to retrieve. I only take that box down occasionally when I seem to need to. But the accumulative effect of all the unkind comments made about me caused me to crumble within. That has taken a lot longer to recover from.
I am cautious though I will admit. I am wary of those that get heated up and don’t seem to be sound of mind. There seems a lot who seem rather more concerned with their own self-righteousness and their own salvation, rather that the sanctification of our Creator’s name. There are some who claim to be Christian, but seem to be ignoring Christ’s commands. I know how I feel about that. But what does the Christ think of it?
How can those who practice a form of Christianity that is so far away from Christ’s teachings and conduct have freeness of speech? What generally will happen, is that when they start to pontificate – others will call them out as hypocrites.
I remember someone from Liverpool saying to me – when it comes to religion – it’s a bit like Cadbury’s Fruit And Nut. You’ll either find those who are displaying the fruitage of the spirit (love, joy, peace etc) or you’ll come across religious nutters, who are kind of scary. And well…yeah, that’s exactly what I have found. The nutters might be shaking the Bible in their hands and they might be praising and blessing, praying and preaching, but they prove that they do not know God. You can tell by their rotten fruit. Their behaviour and often their teachings are not in harmony with Christ, nor God’s Word.
Who is ruling this world at the moment? The same person who influenced Adam and Eve.
We live in distressing times. Many people are extremely stressed. Debt, addictions, loss of jobs, homes, loved ones. Social isolation. Many wander in confusion and despair. Many are plagued by anguish and grief. Some are riddled with guilt. Many see no way out of their problems. They may feel they have lost everything. They do not have a hope.
It is desperately, desperately, sad to think of people being in that state. But these are stressful times, and some can experience harshness from others on top of loss after loss. They may have pushed themselves physically and emotionally for a long time before the snap. It makes me want to weep just thinking of how a human can be driven to that point (and make no mistake – the ruler of this world will be laughing).
My very favourite is the poem I wrote twenty years ago. It is called 
I am really delighted with my long fictional project – my Annabelle Riley series. I responded to a writing prompt from another blogger with what was supposed to be a flash fiction short story. I think it’s ended up with one hundred chapters! I never thought I had it in me. I want to go back over it and edit the mistakes and search for any holes in the plot and time scale etc. It also needs more descriptive passages – scene setting. It’s a project I have already found tremendously satisfying and I am looking forward to polishing it up.
How do I know that? There is probably some WordPress feature somewhere.
So rather than trying to find out who comments the most – I will just say this, I am very grateful to all of the WordPress bloggers who have made kind and encouraging comments. I love the international flavour amongst the WordPress blogging community. There are so many lovely bloggers.
Hmm. Why do a couple who are in love decide to have a baby and start a family? Why does someone decide to share the gift of life? I guess some may have their own reasons, but surely a father who wants to start a family is thinking of how wonderful life is and how much he wants to share of all it’s wonder with his child. How much beauty and delight there is. Surely he wants his child to enjoy being alive and to love our beautiful home planet.
If you have been blessed to have been immersed in an upbringing marked by unselfish love and happiness, and are used to thriving and feeling satisfied and purposeful and secure, the point of existence is not a troubling question. Life should be many many shades of wonderful. It is a beautiful gift. We have been given the perfect home. There is a huge array of satisfying purpose and exciting adventure available. There is endless opportunity to grow inside and develop beautiful qualities. There are beautiful people to forge friendships with and share all the pleasures of life with. That’s what we and our planet were designed for.
I am very well aware that many are deprived of what they should have – an upbringing within a safe and secure family life. It hurts to think how many may feel alone and lost and abandoned and let down. Too many are used and abused and robbed of their dignity and of their ability to enjoy life. It just breaks my heart.
For many today – life is just an existence. That has to change. Life will be exquisite and enthralling for everyone breathing. That is what the Giver had in mind – and I am sure he cares diddlysquat for those who have developed a system that crushes people’s sense of hope and enjoyment of the real life He had in mind for us.
Adelaide, Australia – I want to be with Goldfinch always. It was very hard to get on a plane and come back to London. I love him. Enough said.
I think reality. Yes, very much so.
All weapons have vanished. No guns, knives, nuclear weapons, military forces can be found. They have all disappeared into thin air without a trace.
An announcement has been made that now that all the corrupt and unjust elements of the world have disappeared, it is time for the event we have been longing for since Adam condemned the human race: tomorrow morning, the Resurrection will commence. You will be contacted with the date that your loved ones will be raised to life and invited to one of the newly constructed centres to welcome back and orientate your loved ones, and help to settle them into this wonderful world, where wickedness is a distant memory and we cannot remember the pain of the past.
Always listen to your Mum and Dad, they are two of the wisest and loveliest people on the planet
I am not particularly fussed about television…but I don’t think I would ever tire of seeing more and more episodes of the BBC’s The Blue Planet. As far as I concerned it should just keep on running all year round. The more we learn about and love our gorgeous planet and it’s creatures, the better. We should be doing a better job of caring for it.
Perhaps. I am a very caring person, so I would be very reluctant to risk harming or upsetting anyone. But I think I was probably involved in some tame practical jokes years ago. They would not have been my idea because I don’t have those ideas, but I probably did the deed.
The only thing I can remember right now is making a drink for a woman who came to visit my mum (she was up to no good I sensed – the woman, not my mum). I was very young, around four or five. That woman was saying nasty things about people. My mum is exquisitely lovely and mild and there was no nastiness about other people in our house. I knew there was something not nice about that woman. I could hear bad words and a meanness in her tone. I put milk, orange juice, tomato ketchup, butter, mouldy cheese I had found in my toy kitchen set, sugar, salt and mixed it all together and gave her the cup to drink. Mum was surprised when I remembered that visit many years later, and she explained who that woman was and why she was complaining about people.
I am content with the outer me. I am a little self-conscious of the right side of my head after my head injuries. My feet are a little clunky. But they are alright, I should not complain about them after the way I treat them! Sometimes my tummy looks too bloated, but I have decided that is normal, and nothing to be overly concerned about.
What do I like least?? Hmm. As I said above, I am pretty content on the whole. I suppose my eye-brows are a bit odd. They are almost an non-entity. They are there, but I can’t really do anything with them. They are wispy and faint. I see other people’s eye-brows and I wonder why mine look so malnourished. They are not ugly in themselves, but they don’t enhance my face at all. But I think if you are going to start trying to enhance your eye-brows you need to be cautious. I look at the eye-bows of some women and they are scary, which frankly puts me off from trying to change my eye-brows. But still…some women get it so right and they look amazing.
My family, especially my parents. I think they are gorgeous. I often think of their incredible example of being faithful, hard-working, reliable, humble, kind, cheerful, fun-loving, patient and modest. My Dad who has been window-cleaning since I was six months old, up and down a ladder countless times day after day, and training us to work for our pocket money. My mum who has worked as a nurse, as well as washing and ironing clothes, cooking and cleaning and training all of us in all aspects of house-keeping.
I love that they taught us such valuable lessons and they lived by those lessons themselves. They practised what they preached as it were. They were honest about their mistakes, they involved us in major family decisions. I remember their words and many experiences we shared, but it is their shining example I am so proud to have. They have been and still are wonderful role-models and wonderful friends to me and my siblings. I could not have asked for a better start in life. It’s easy to love my parents because they are so very lovable anyway.
A happy mix of healthy emotions. I thrive on all my interactions with people. My family, friends and others. People make me tick. Life is not fulfilling if you are isolated. But fill your life with good people (and yes they are imperfect so there will be some stress at times with working out occasional misunderstandings and overcoming challenges that occur due to imperfection), and you seem to have tremendous energy and always an invitation to go here, there and everywhere.
I have always been sporty. For years we swam competitively, so I have great stamina. But since my head injuries I have had some issues with my breathing if I push my heart too much. So I have had to tone down my physical activity. I still love walking and swimming. I love to visit interesting places like museums and National Trust properties. I love spending time with friends. I like baking. I am enjoying trying to write a little on this blog and reading all the posts from other bloggers.
Yes. Our Creator made hundreds of millions of creatures like him before he ever created creatures made of matter. The scriptures refer to these creatures as angels, but the words used for “angel” in the original languages the scriptures were penned in, also mean “messenger”. They often served in this capacity.
I am happy with my own company. But I thrive on being around people.
But of course I have a favourite person. If I could have dinner with anyone, it would of course be Goldfinch. Somewhere wonderful, were we could look out on stunning scenery or a sunset or the night stars. I would try to cook something he would love…and I would of course make a naughty pudding. And, I hope he would be able to stay over for the night 😉
I want to go back to my career, but it’s too risky for them to send me on international assignments. If I met someone who loved me and wanted to build a life with me…well, I would be so anxious because I don’t know what will happen to me. I don’t want to become dependant on someone and become a burden to them. Nor do I want to let someone fall in love with me and then lose me. I think I would find it easier to be more confidant if I did not have so many black-outs and episodes with difficult breathing. It scares me sometimes. I am not scared of dying. But I hold back from some aspects of life because it is distressing to find myself in A&E.
People say the loveliest things encouraging me to stay positive. I am positive, but I am stuck in a situation that is confining my options and I don’t know how long for and what will be the outcome. So, for the moment, I just carry on living life one day at a time and enjoying it. There is a wonderful man in my life whom I love and because of the 10,100 miles that separate us, I can love him without being scared of being a burden. I am near to my family. They want that. The NHS (the free health service here in England) are doing a grand job of looking after me, and for the most part I am ticking over very well.
I will admit that Novus has posed me some very thought-provoking questions and I have taken my time over answering them to try to do them justice. Novus is very deep – me thinks!
A fresh start for the inhabitants of Planet Earth – learning to live in harmony with our home planet. Making sure all parts of it flourish and all life thrives. Our planet in better hands – a trustworthy form of governing this planet so that all are happy and healthy and at peace. Same planet but in every respect a new world, one in which there is no corruption, war, abuse, cruelty and deceit. A new education system, justice system. A world in which everyone is of value.
I have no doubt at all that there is a Creator. I have read so much about physics and science and have so many friends who are scientists and are convinced that there has to be an intelligent mind behind our existence. I think a lot of religions are alienated from the Creator though – as manifest by their doctrines and their practices. I think that our Creator wants to have a friendship with each of His creatures.
I know when my conscience is telling me I am pleasing my heavenly Father. I can sense that He is smiling. I am also aware that there are times I am getting it wrong. But I sometimes feel I need help to understand what I am doing to hurt Him. Sometimes it’s hard to decipher between my conscience and my emotions and my tiredness. Does that make sense?
I sometimes feel my heavenly Father is pointing out where I would find help with the confusion I have at times about what I should not be doing or what I should be doing. I am convinced He is like any good human Father (only better of course) and wants me to be happy and healthy. I do want to please Him truly. I want to be like Maria Von Trapp…but apparently I am more like Bridget Jones (although as I have mentioned before, I have never seen the Bridget movies).
Years ago, one of my own siblings decided they wanted to spend less and less time with the family. They engaged in heavy consumption of alcohol and used tobacco and other substances my parents could never approve of. They chose to move away and pursued their goals of wealth and fame. They were successful in achieving those goals.
But in all honesty it was apparent my sibling had chosen to distance themselves from the family. But then my sibling made a very serious mistake. I don’t want to go into detail. But their world came crashing down.
But things have changed dramatically. There is a very moving story in the scriptures about a son who turns his back on everything his Father had taught him and goes off and ruins himself. When at last he comes to his senses, his father welcomes him with open arms – and you just know his father is going to help him to get back on his feet.
I will say this, my sibling is back on the road to being happy and healthy – which is all our parents would ever want for us. That’s what all of us have wanted for my sibling – for them to feel happy and be healthy.
I will say this, and I do not mean this disrespectfully, but what he or his acquaintance choose to eat is of no interest to me. His culinary choices are of little consequence don’t you think? A man has to eat. If he wants to eat fast food – that’s his choice.
I should never buy it – but is does keep jumping from the supermarket shelves into my shopping basket. I never have it with salad. But if I am on my lonesome, I would happily add a dollop of mayonnaise to almost any meal – which is probably shameful – but I love it! Is that really gross? I do apologise. I only do it at home on my own – never ever in front of anyone else. Not even my family see my absurd use of mayonnaise!
Not really. Not the dark itself.
I suppose my family. They are all fine. It’s just that after I was attacked, they were very upset – which I understood. I have just never seen that level of upset. In some respects I think I found it easier to let go of my feelings about that night than they have.
I am a bit worried at the moment because I need to have a proper conversation with Goldfinch about “things”. I have tried to prepare him by dropping a few hints in text messages. But I need to be open with him. I work long hours Wednesday, Thursday, Friday – so it is going to have to wait until the weekend. I worry about hurting him, or being a burden to him. I never ever wanted to be a burden to him and I am petrified that he might feel some regret.
The prefect pose? I am so terribly un-photogenic. I would love a professional photographer to take the perfect photo!
I always look rather tipsy (when I am most certianly not). My photos seem to resemble “Crimewatch” line up photos. For some reason cameras really do not like me!
Umbrellas!
Pretty useless with my left hand. Except, I eat the wrong way round. I use my left hand to hold my knife. I have a story to explain why that it is so. But it is too long to tell here. It’s all a miscommunication between my Dadda and me.
Novus – you seem pretty cool to me. You seem to be utilizing platforms for blogging and know what you are doing with social media.
As for me – well I am just too old to worry if anyone thinks I am cool or not.
What do I hope for 2019? That spring and summer come quickly and last a very long time!
I have been nominated for The Sunshine Blogger Award by 
Well…there came a point when I started to feel that this blog could be something special for my family to enjoy at a later date. I would like it to be a gift to my family at a later date. Even though, they do not yet know anything about it, thinking of my family as my target audience has been the governing influence on my posts for some time now. It makes me very happy to think of them reading in the future and deriving some comfort and enjoyment out of silly things I have written.
I have had problems ever since I received head injuries over three years ago and even this year I have been rushed through accident and emergency a few times due to some of my more worrying symptoms. There came a point when I was struck by the thought that it would be really nice for my family to be able to have this site if anything happens to me. My family know I have been writing stories in my free time, but they don’t know about this site yet. I am not sure when and how I am going to introduce it to them, but I want it to be there for them so that at any time in the future they can look at posts and I don’t know, I guess draw some enjoyment from them.
I used to have a goal. It was to become a full-time international volunteer. I reached that goal eight years ago. It took over thirteen years of disciplining myself and sticking to a demanding schedule and living on a pittance. It was like climbing Mount Everest. But I made it…I was one of a very small number of single women who have ever been invited to take up a post like the one I was.
Sometimes my ultimate goal of returning to my career and life, seems so far off. Even though sometimes I feel dispirited and despondent about whether I will ever make it back where I belong…I still believe that having that as a goal is a huge protection to me. It prevents me from setting my sights on worthless, meaningless, shallow goals in this money orientated, me-first, world.
Ooooh – it depends how long for and whether you are a townie or a country bumpkin.
If it is just for the day…I recommend Eskdale in the Lake District – head to Wastwater and climb Skafell Pike or Great Gable.
Swimming!
Erm…
I filled six journals full of detail about what was going on in the lives of me and my friends for a very close friend of ours who was intensely ill for six months. We thought we were going to lose her. When she came round and her health recovered, I gave her the journals I had kept with her in mind. They were full of photos and pictures and detailed accounts of what had been happening. It was a big help to me at the time to keep my mind positive. But when she received them and read them, she was blown away by what I had done. She told me years later how much she treasured them.
I want him here with me! I wished I could have taken him to Wales to meet my wonderful family.
PEOPLE – especially my family and friends and Goldfinch!
Caramel 