I tried analysing my every thought and feeling in the quest to understand the pain I carried. I went back over every frame of my life, from my earliest memories. I thought that the only way to move forward was to go back and search through my past and try to make sense of it all.
However…there was a limited benefit. Some of the self-analysis was helpful and perhaps wholesome. But some of it was grueling and led to nowhere. I was at risk of becoming locked into a self absorbed state. I had begun to question everything and everyone that has graced the course of my life.
So I chose to draw a line on how much self analysis was beneficial. I decided to look back on the happy memories, the profound moments that have inspired me and ignited fire in my bones. I accepted that every moment in my life has made a mark on me. I won’t go back and edit the past.
I have made my mind up. I want to live without the shadows from the past darkening my outlook. I want to seize hope and joy and love and believe that there is a lot of wonderful ahead of me. The lessons I learnt from a limited period of self-analysis may be helpful. But now I am ready to get on with living the rest of my life. Are you ready for me?
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This was my response to the picture prompt provided for FANDANGO’S FLASH FICTION CHALLENGE:
https://fivedotoh.com/2020/01/27/fandangos-flash-fiction-challenge-51
Caramel 