Tag Archives: rants

I Need A Hug

Paula Light, the creator of Light Motifs II hosts the MONDAY PEEVE (I know it is Thursday today) and invites us all to join along as you can see from this week’s post below:

https://lightmotifs.wordpress.com/2020/05/18/the-monday-peeve-36/

Well, it’s double trouble from me this week. last night, I published the first part of my peeve. This is to explain what else has been eating at me.

Rough, Day, Hard, Tired, Dirty, WomanOk…I will tell you. I am working at least six days a week. On top of that, I have been enrolled on a course because I have started to do work I am not technically qualified for. Some of my colleagues are on furlough. They made the right decision for them. I am working extra hours, as my other colleagues at work are. But we are tired.

We are working hard. It’s not just the physical work and the long hours that are tiring. We are hearing all the stress and anxiety from our patients and their families. I am sending money to family who have lost work during recent weeks. I am very happy to do that. I am doing my bit to support and encourage everyone I know. I am helping my landlords with grocery shopping (have been doing so for weeks), gardening and lots of other domestic tasks. In addition I have my own housework and laundry to keep up with. I have also managed to finish my Annabelle Riley series and seen the third and final part published (yay!!!)

But with all this…the truth is, I am tired. My longed for holiday to Australia is not going to happen. My boyfriend is in Africa having the time of his life. I have not had a hug from anyone in over three months 😦

iedfljbhvdThere was a mistake at work. It didn’t involve a life or injury to anybody. It’s a case of money down the drain. It involved stock and the loss of money. There was no dishonesty involved. In truth the responsibility for the mistake is split. It happened on a day I was not at work. But the next day it was brought to my attention. I did not understand that at that point I could have done something about it. I had so much other work thrown at me, so I didn’t think to worry myself about something that happened on a day I was cleaning and ironing.

I am annoyed at myself that after all the weeks of hard work and going the extra mile day after day, I came home completely deflated. I was sobbing because I didn’t understand that I could have prevented the loss of all that money. If I had understood what to do, I could have done something about it. Now we all look like idiots. But we are so busy. So we have bled a lot of money. The main cause was computers. Computers automatically creating invoices based in inaccurate stock levels.

Woman, Girl, Sadness, I Feel Sorry ForBut the point is, I am annoyed because after all the good good good things I have done with care and a smile on my face and a heart of love…all I felt was deflation on discovering that we just bled a small fortune. I wanted to cry. I did cry. Why is it, that even when you have done so much to help others with the best of motives, something falls through the net and when you realize all you can think about is the mistake, the missed opportunity.

I don’t like it, but my teenage sweetheart’s father always used to say:

YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST MISTAKE

…in other words, that is all our mind can think about sometimes. My heart is so heavy and I feel so deflated, that despite all the hard work and wonderful cooperative spirit at work, we bled all that money…partly because we are all so busy and so tired and because technology is not reliable.

I need a hug!

There Is No Golden Ticket

Paula Light, the creator of Light Motifs II hosts the MONDAY PEEVE (I know it is Wednesday today) and invites us all to join along as you can see from this week’s post below:

https://lightmotifs.wordpress.com/2020/05/18/the-monday-peeve-36/

Angry, Serious, Woman, Lady, DepressionWell, my peeve is not a specific thing. It is just that a collection of little things, little oddities is getting to me. There is noone to blame. I am not even sure there is a real reason for complaint. It’s just the combined collective accrual of all this oddness is getting to me and the truth is I am tired of weirdness everywhere I look.

Where do I begin? Maybe with the TESTING FOR ANTIBODIES situation. I have been a frontline member of staff for months. During February and March we saw vast quantities of patients before safety measures were really stepped up. My theory is that surely I came into contact with the …you know, but I have not fallen ill. Whether or not I have antibodies, I do not know. I will not know apparently without being tested.

Bar, Pub, Restaurant, Drink, PeopleBut why should I be tested? If I do have antibodies does that mean I can stop wearing PPE at work? Nope! Does it mean I can start going to the pub? Nope! The pubs are not open for people who have antibodies. Does it mean I can fly to Australia to see Goldfinch in June? Nope! Not on your Nelly. So how does me being tested for antibodies personally benefit me? I am not 100% sure.

Whether I have antibodies in my system or not, it does not prevent me from being a vehicle for the …you know, or a carrier. I am not classed as in a vulnerable category. I am in my thirties and I have no underlying health concerns that make me “at risk”. I understand that all of the social distancing restrictions have prevented the likes of me (especially as someone who works for the NHS) from putting other people, more vulnerable people at risk.

idufaduihSo, I was baffled when some of my acquaintance were celebrating that they have finally been approved for antibody tests. They have been working from home, sunbathing in their garden, going for bike-rides.

Does that make them more or less likely to have been exposed to the …you know… than me? I would have thought less likely. I have been at least working six days a week for months and interacting with large numbers of people (and I kid you not, it is impossible for staff to maintain a two metre distance from each other and from patients).

It does seem weird to me that they have been whining and whinging about having an antibody test (I have no idea why they think it is so important that they have it) when neither myself nor my colleagues have been tested for antibodies. We are not moaning at work. We are grateful for all the support from the NHS and the government. Some have been off sick. Others (including me) haven’t. Some are on furlough. Others (including me) are working extra hours in difficult conditions.

Bicycle, Bike, Casual, Fashion, ModelThem knowing whether while working from home, sunbathing in the garden and going for bike rides they have been exposed to the …you know, and developed antibodies – what difference will it make to them? They are in their twenties and thirties. Whether they have antibodies or not, they are not in a vulnerable category, but they can still be vehicles, carriers of the …you know.

I guess what I am trying to say is, I am not really certain why so much attention has been given to the antibody test. In the case of someone who may be more at risk, I can understand why they might want to know if they have antibodies, as perhaps they will feel safer returning to work (if they cannot work from home). But it is still not going to give them the green light to disregard all the social distancing restrictions in place to protect the most vulnerable.

Golden, Ticket, Admission, DecorativeThere is a lot of weirdness on this subject…and it is getting to me. I feel like telling some people to get real. Unless you have a real reason to require an antibody test, (perhaps an underlying health complaint and a job that requires interaction with the public?) what miracles are you expecting? “Oh you have been tested and found to have antibodies, that means you get a special golden ticket to go and drink in your local pub, have a holiday in Ibiza and to be allowed to attend concerts and sports events”. Nope! Whether you have antibodies in your system or not, you are still at risk of harming others by carrying the …you know.

Test Tube, Covid-19, Mask, MedicalIs this making sense? I guess the prime time to test for the …you know was early. (Not an antibody test at all.) It seems that would have been the most effective time to track and trace and control the spread of the …you know. But after it spread like wildfire, well whether you or I have antibodies or not, we can’t go about as if we have won the golden ticket and thereby start risking all those precious dear folk who have been wisely staying at home all this time.

So why friends my age and younger who have spent most of the past three months sunbathing, zooming and going on bike-rides, are all demanding they have antibody tests – I have not the foggiest clue!

lufdisdiudhAnd please please don’t get me started on this talk of an app. An app. Ay karumba – an app is not going to… right I am not even going to start this sentence because I am so tired, it will come out all wrong. The truth is…I am tired. I don’t normally peeve or moan about things. But the weirdness is getting to me.

I am trying to do my bit…working hard, helping support our patients through their hardships. But I keep hearing young people who are clearly struggling with the social restrictions saying the weirdest things and seeking their golden ticket so they can get back to what they are missing. I don’t think they get it.

OK Paula…I think that is enough for one day. I was going to tell you about a ridiculous situation we had at work, but I think I have exceeded my moaning margins for the day. I will give you another Peeve tomorrow.