Tag Archives: public

Housekeeping Memoirs

Yesterday…I had the whole afternoon off. I used it to clean every inch of my little nest. I enjoyed myself so much (yes that’s right – I LOVE CLEANING!) that I wanted to write a post about it. But instead I found one of my first ever posts and decided it was time to share it with you again!

Cleaning Equipment

If only everyday of housework could go so smoothly….Often you get everything together and enter the room where you are due to work….but low and behold: a leak from a water tank, or someone has accidentally flung baked beans or raspberry jam against the wall, or one time, I had a pair of legs sticking out of the door…turned out the occupant was feverish with some horrible infection and had been in bed with nothing but a sheet over him, he had got up to use the bathroom, and collapsed onto the floor – guess who was cleaning on the floor where he lived that morning!  So, I didn’t get to do any work because I spent the morning being first-aider and getting help so we could get him to a Doctor.  But today…aaaaah!!!!!….no disturbance, no interference, nothing has one wrong or slowed me down today.  Wonderful!!!!

ruiegdfhlahOh the life of a housekeeper!  I have had a very pleasant morning so far and had lots of time to think of you.  The rest of the day should be easy.  I have done so much work already in this house.  I am just going to give the kitchen a refresh and clean the big windows because there have been some children firing water pistols all week, so I decided to leave them until the last point before the family get back tomorrow.  Then I am going to clean the washing machine and tumble dryer out and clean the hoovers and just basically leave everything sparkling including my equipment.

As a housekeeper you see all sorts!!!!  Some young men seem to be oblivious to the horrors they leave for their cleaner / housekeeper to find.  I have been trained as a house-holder that if a toilet is in too bad a state, there is no need to clean it, and some house-keepers even leave notes to point to the fact that they are refusing to clean something due to a lack of consideration on the part of the occupant.  I am not too bothered.  I have cleaned medical facilities, sports stadiums, concert arenas…I have seen worse things in those locations than I have in a client’s own home.  I would rather just clean it and move on with my life than enter into the shame game or go into battle with an occupant / client.

Not Hear, Not See, Do Not Speak, FunnyDid you know housekeepers can play tricks on their occupants?  Not all of them.  It all depends on the rapport you have with your client!  We might deliberately turn all of the pictures upside down.  Nothing too valuable mind!  If an occupant has a shopping list or a “to-do” list stuck to their fridge it is very tempting to add comic items to the list.  We might move toys and unbreakable items and set up a comedy scene – as I am doing at one house I clean in the boy’s bedrooms (I have such fun rearranging their toys.  Last time I cleaned their room, I had one of the teddies reading an encyclopaedia, and a “my little pony” is chasing “Darth Vader”.)   The boys come home from school and they love to see what I have done to their toys.

But some of my house-keeping friends are really crazy in the stunts they pull…only because they trust their clients will laugh when they find out their house-keeper has pranked them.  One of my friends removed all of the lightbulbs from the entire apartment she had cleaned including the spares in the utility cupboard.  So, when the male occupants came back when it was dark – they had to use their phones to see around that night.

Housekeepers have used various props, including mannequins (the old chestnut of leaving a life-size figure in an occupants bed with just a blonde wig visible.  What else?  Malt loaf – don’t read this if you have just had dinner.  Malt loaf can be moulded into various shapes and left in the toilet and then a pretend note of outrage can be left – poor client!!!!  One of the worst housekeeper tricks I saw involved a pair of boxer-shorts and Nutella.  I am sorry, the details are far too gross to tell you the full story!!!

What else?  Housekeepers often show a lot of love by folding towels into flowers or animals, and folding toilet paper to look pretty.  We try to spruce things up wherever possible.  I must say I love to have a laugh with the girls but I couldn’t play any horrid tricks on any of my clients.  I am too worried about someone having a really bad day and being overwhelmed – a practical joke might seem fun and completely innocent – but for many years I have realized that some people are incredibly delicate / fragile and you don’t know….I mean how could you know?  We can’t read what is going on in someone else’s mind.  Instead, I often like to imagine my client or occupant has had a terrible day and is exhausted and stressed out and comes home to find their place is beautiful and sparkling and so much love and thought has been poured into the housekeeping of their home.

If you have a lot of love and a lot of giving in your heart, housekeeping is a wonderful role because you can pour love into your work. Personally…I love to make things sparkle. For that reason I especially love cleaning bathrooms and kitchens.

Kitchen, Cooker, Cooking, House, Eating

Shamelessly In Love

Last night I was waiting at the station for Goldfinch to arrive…I spotted him before he saw me. He was right behind a man who was walking up the steps slowly. As soon as I saw Goldfinch my face started to beam. Only, I think that the man in front of Goldfinch thought my smiles were for him. Because he started looking at me and smiling. He came through the barrier and started walking towards me. By then Goldfinch had seen me and cut through the crowds and reached me first. Thank goodness!

Aaaaaaah….isn’t it funny how everything seems to sparkle when you are walking hand in hand along London streets with a man who has the ability to enchant you and who makes your heart go booom booooom!

I had the chance to do something with Goldfinch that I have not done all year. This might sound daft, but I savoured every moment. I have always said to my friends, that I would rather share a bag of chips at a bus-stop with a man that I loved rather than be wined and dined by the wrong man. So for the very first time since I met Goldfinch, we bought some chips from a traditional fish & chip shop and munched them while we were waiting for the bus back to the little nest.

Aaaaaah! So happy! So very very happy!

Perhaps you have thought the same as I…that if only it were possible to bottle up that kind of happiness and save it for rainy days.

Goldfinch had to be back for work again today. So yet again I experienced 3.15am. The second time this month. Travelling across London on public transport with fellow passengers who seem to be fast asleep although their eyes are open.

Did I care I was leaving a warm snuggly bed to venture out into the chilled morning air? Not when I had Goldfinch holding my hand. Not when I was able to dance with him in the misty moonlight looking down over us. Not when I was able to sit close to him on the bus and feel his head leaning against my shoulder.

Aaaaaah! So so happy! Hot chocolates for us at the station before he boarded, and then all I could do was hang on to the last moment waving and blowing kisses to my Goldfinch, who had fallen asleep the moment he had relaxed into his seat. Still I received a wave and a blown kiss from some guy who obviously thought I was making quite a show of myself.

Shamelessly in love! Shamelessly happy!





A Mistake I Did Not Laugh At…Neither Did He

Not long until Goldfinch heads back to the land of the kookaburra and kangaroo – aaaah sigh! This week I had two incidents when male friends asked me if I will agree to go out with them for a drink after Goldfinch has left. I think they are wanting to have someone to go to parties with and cosy up with during the winter months. They are jumping the gun a bit asking me now! My reaction was a bit like the video right at the end of this e-mail!


Photo Credit: National Aquarium, Washington, DC.

Goldfinch has stayed away from London this weekend and I think it may have something to do with a huge bumble I made last year. I was so red-faced with embarrassment and felt awful to cause Goldfinch disappointment!

I met him on the last Saturday of October 2017. He came down to London the following weekend to visit me. He expressed a hope to see a fire-work display and bonfire. Well, I had seen advertised that there was one just down the road in a public park. There would be a fairground and all the fireworks etc. I was told that it was held over two nights and I presumed that those two nights were Saturday and Sunday night.

So on the Saturday evening, Goldfinch and I had a very cosy night in and enjoyed some indoor fireworks. (That is the closest thing you are ever going to get to innuendo on my site!) On the Sunday night we strolled down the road only to find darkness and an empty park! The look on Goldfinch’s face! He looked like a little school boy who had missed out on a party. I was so upset with myself.

I knew right then this was a man I only ever wanted to make happy, I never wanted to be a disappointment to him again! Oh this wonderful specimen of a male human being deserved so much better that my brain on snooze-mode. Normally I can brush off a mistake and get over it, but I felt so awful to let him down, especially after spending the most wonderful weekend with him! I was not laughing at that mistake and neither was Goldfinch.

Well, all year I have been trying to make it up to him after my huge bumble the first weekend he visited me, I have loved him and I have loved loving him. But I don’t blame him for not trusting me this year! He has gone to a firework display in the midlands instead.

I am going to schedule this post to be published later on. I am going over to a friend’s home for dinner. I have made a dessert to take. Then I shall come home and after all the fireworks are over, I shall drift off to sleep dreaming of my favourite Australian.

Boy am I going to miss him! He makes fireworks explode in me every time I think of him. The good news is….he is coming to London very soon! Yaaaaaaaaay!!! A band he likes are playing nearby and it is a great chance to see them (well, I am only interested in seeing him). I will tell you all about it later on the week. So I have more fun time to spend time with him.


Oh and that video I mentioned is still below…it made me laugh seeing the reaction of the people with the laughing kookaburra! I love a face wrinkled up with joyful laughter – don’t you!