When I first met Goldfinch over a year ago, there was a lot of teasing and flirting on my part. From the start I was excited about him, in a way I had not been for a long time. I think there always is some teasing at the start of a romance. I was trying to find out more about him, this can be quite a task with many men. This air of mystique some men seem reluctant to discard, can be rather irritating.
The world seemed to become golden when Goldfinch entered my life. He has made the last 13 months and a 13 days sparkle. Everything was fine before Goldfinch, but it has been even better since he arrived. But I have always wanted more of him. I have wished I knew everything about him. I don’t think I will ever be bored of learning about him.
It seems as if you are expected to just except the James Bond-ishness of a man in his forties. That’s why I started calling him Goldfinger. However, I have never seen a single James Bond movie in my life…so I mistakenly assumed James Bond was Goldfinger! Whereas, the actual Goldfinger was, well…
As mentioned in another post, I even met him at Heathrow Arrivals with a sign that I had made which said Goldfinger. I later realized that my epitaph was not greatly flattering, so I dropped it!
I guess by the time a man has reached his forties, he has usually lived more than a little. He might not want to confess all to a woman who is interrogating him. Past experiences may have caused him to be wary of a new woman in his life. However, he was open about some things, things I never expected him to be open about necessarily. So, I did feel I could trust him. After all, he was more open with me than I think I would have been with him.
I was ravenous for more and more of him though. I wanted him to tell me about every day of his life since he was a tiny child. I was never going to have enough time with him to hear everything. My fascination and curiosity has never diminished. It’s one thing I am regretting, I truly wish I had spent more time with him to hear more and more about him and all the pages of his life.
I am convinced that Goldfinch is going to be an abysmal penpal! I think I have lost my chance to know him inside out. I still have a very golden view of him, and I doubt that shine on my memories will ever fade. Goldfinch is always going to be a golden boy to me – the man with the golden touch who came into my life, dazzled me, and then was gone.
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And after six months of having Goldfinch as my pen-pal, I am happy. I thought I would hardly ever hear from him. He has been great!
Caramel 