When I was around twenty-six, I lost one of my best friends to cancer. She was a role-model, as well as a huge source of encouragement and advice. I was heart-broken when she became ill and deteriorated so rapidly.
This year, I will turn the same age as she was when she died. I have been thinking of her a lot recently. I have been thinking of what it will be like to welcome her back to life.
Clean earth…without war, without crime, without terror – what a wonderful home, a safe and beautiful home, to welcome back our loved ones. I am yearning to see my very lovely friend (and a long long list of loved ones) again. My heart throbs with the prospect of that joyful period in human history ahead.
It’s hard to plan when the whole world seems to be shifting around you.
Will the travellers stop and ask for directions? I see them smiling calmly, quietly waiting for anyone that wishes to pause and ask questions or take something to read. I see them everyday, in every corner of London.
It has started already. I had Royal Mail post this morning from political parties. Surely they must have had it all ready to go before the vote to have a General Election for it to arrive so quickly. I am going to be diplomatic about this…they obviously feel they are right. I pay my taxes and obey the laws of whichever government is in power. I do not associate myself with any individual political party (neither does Jack by the way, which is why we could be sent to all sorts of interesting places, with “delicate” political climates).
The funny thing is…it’s not going to be over is it? No matter which party is governing the country at the end of the year, whether they are for or against the B word/issue…it is not going to be over – because there will still be a lot of people who don’t get the result they want. There don’t seem to be clear winners and losers in politics. Results are often almost 50/50. I wonder how close we are to the United Nations becoming more involved with “maintaining authority”?
She said – that there has been a marked change of behaviour since the Europe referendum. She said – people have become very volatile, easily inflamed. She said – people feel they can say whatever they want, in conversations, on social media, and peaceful protesting (some of which might be considered to be positive, although I won’t venture an opinion), but there have also been the extremes of yelling abuse at politicians in the street, throwing milkshakes all over them, sending death threats, putting incendiary devices through their letter boxes, and of course the actual murder of politicians. I have family who hold “office” as politicians (not that I share their opinions), so of course the thought of them being victims of violence is very concerning.
This earth, in the hands of our Creator…will be clean…clean of wickedness, corruption, violence, injustice and abuse. Clean of pollution, slavery, crime and disease. Beat that for a manifesto! Clean for a united, happy human family, who love what is good, love peace, love creation, and of paramount importance, LOVE OUR CREATOR. Of course none of the letters from any political parties mentioned any of this.
Our Father in the heavens
Now I am not just saying it to please you…I did enjoy the art class on Sunday. The thing is I have normally spent all my free-time from childhood onward on sports and hiking where I can push myself or just run around having fun…noisy events – karaoke, parties, dancing, live music, loud friends. I do also like museums and historical houses and sites. Even though I am not all that noisy in myself I am attracted to noisy, loud, energetic people. But it was nice to sit and feel calm and concentrate and try to produce something respectable with a pencil. I was more relaxed than I expected, and I was pleased I was starting to make a bit of progress. Not that I have any aspirations for even attempting to accomplish something worthy of praise. But the point is…I enjoyed it. And I was very impressed by what you and some of the others in the class were able to produce. I told my workmates on Monday I had been to an art class, but I was too much of a wimp to tell them what I was drawing. In fact, when they asked me what we drew I said “oh, all sorts of things.”
too. I am a big believer that each person is going to think and feel differently…and in some respects it is a miracle that people meet and decide they will try to build something together…except for hormones, they take the miracle out of it. However, when it comes to love, you can’t force anything…there is no door handle on the outside of the human heart. On a realistic (maybe pessimistic) note…I don’t believe that I “float your boat” anywhere near as much as you float mine. I don’t think you like me saying that.
think I would have much motivation if it was hormones alone that were impelling me. I love thinking of you in a sentimental frame of mind, maybe romantic. My head is in a very happy place when I am trying to think of little things to please you. It feels great to be sweet and kindly and homely and lovely and giving. It makes me feel like my mum…and I mean that in a very good way. But if you find you are not enjoying it, I will listen and adjust.
I don’t know what I am doing long term anymore. Life has not worked out the way I expected it to. I was thinking back to a little 5 or 6-year-old me. This is me back then. Please excuse the absence of front teeth. I had eaten a banana one of my dad’s customers gave to me and by the time I finished it I had accidentally swallowed my two front teeth which had been very wobbly. As you can see I already had an impeccable sense of style, sunglasses, leather jacket…and although I would never become a rock star, I was well on the way to becoming a karaoke queen.
the farmer, and me as the farmer’s wife. I think that is how I thought life would turn out when I was a little girl. I am not sure really what else it is all about. There was never any issue about meeting parents. I knew Ian Prime’s mum and he knew my mum. A man and a woman start a team, they build together a home, they plant veggies and harvest them, she cooks meals and makes curtains, he carves out furniture and fixes fences, there are cows to milk and all sorts of animals to feed, then there might be children…although at the age of 5 or 6 I could not see myself having children and I still can’t imagine it now. But that might be because I feel as if I am still a child myself and can’t take on the responsibility of a child. But the rest I can see. I still don’t understand how the system we live in does not seem to allow for that. I don’t think I have goals or ambitions because the world is so shaky and unreliable and even basic human desires seem unattainable.
would turn out all changed when I was 15 and stepped onto a construction site and enrolled as a volunteer for local charities for the first time. I suddenly realized I had no desire to be a Mrs Prime…I wanted freedom to come and go as I pleased. I didn’t want to be tied to anyone or anything, not even an employer. I had to find a balance of course. And the balance for me was first part-time employment and then self-employment so that I could be free to travel on voluntary projects all over the country and then all over the world. As a result, I actually became a slave to the work I was doing on a voluntary basis. A voluntary slavery that I truly loved.
Caramel 