Who Can Resist A Trampoline?

I totally understand the appeal of trampolines. I am sure since I was a little girl I have found myself attracted to them. Most of us have an inner child who would love to be allowed unrestricted sessions so we can bounce and leap to our heart’s content.

What surprised me when I was away, was the discovery that family members in their seventies had acquired a trampoline and during the Pandemic, they have been having great fun releasing their inner child.

That’s my family – all with hearts that have forever planted within them!

Precious Family Moments

One of my favourite moments when I visited family this month was when my four year old niece wanted to read with me.

Yes…I don’t have much to add that sentence. It was just a special moment, and it made me realize how hard it has been not to spend time with my family throughout the Pandemic.

She starts school in September. I feels like just yesterday when she was born!

Family Warmth

This is another post from the archives – way before the Pandemic. I had every intention of writing a post tonight but then a headache began to brew and I have decided I need to listen to my body and rest.

Here in England…and in Wales for most of this week, it has been unseasonably mild. Yay!!! We have been outdoors…in the mild air. That is very helpful when there are so many of us.

Now, more than ever, I am looking forward to spring and summer ahead! Although, I wonder will January and February bring shivery bitter cold weather?

I have no idea why I took two coats up north with me. I took a navy raincoat and a huge navy thick winter coat. I didn’t really need either, for it did not rain, neither was it cold! Oh well – I am not complaining. I think I preferred the mild weather whilst I have been standing around waiting for trains and traipsing through the woods with family.

Family days, family get-togethers, family fun – oh what a merry week I have had indeed! So many stories to tell. The Welsh part of the family are superb fun. Lots of children running round. Lots of dads and uncles who run around and make far more noise than the children. Lots of home cooking and home baking, games, very loud laughter and reminiscing, and talking about various travels. They have all travelled extensively as volunteers, so it is fascinating to hear stories and tales from their work.

The family who are scattered across Merseyside, Cheshire and Lancashire are also a lot of fun. But in a different way. It always feels like a cross between a Butlin’s entertainment evening and a fund-raising telephone night. That’s mainly due to my brother-in-law’s uncle. He is always the entertainments manager. Lots of shop-bought food and shop bought gateaux and trifle, lots of dancing and singing (usually in the form of karaoke), lots of games and pouring over old photograph albums reminiscing about how every one used to look and parties from the past.

A slightly different feel to the atmosphere, but still lots of family fun and games and laughter. In this mild weather…for some strange but adorable reason it was Calypso and Caribbean music that we ended up dancing to. All of us in a great conga procession weaving around the flower beds at midnight.

Oh families are fun! No presents, no decorations (we don’t waste money on fluff and glitter or what retailers tell us to buy) – just time with my wonderful family – I am so thankful for them! I did not think I would be dancing to “Hot Hot Hot” in December!

 

 

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2018/12/30/thankful/

Learning From Mumma Bear

My mum is very sweet, I have to say. Believe me…it is not just me that thinks so. People love my mum! In the town we grew up in, everyone knew my mum and people loved her. They thought she had a gorgeous personality. She was always smiling, always chatting, always showing kindness.

Just over ten years ago, once we had all left home, my parents moved closer to my grandfather so they could help him as his health was starting to decline. In the village they now live in, people have come to know and love my mum. She has the same gorgeous personality. People say exactly the same things as they did in my home town – your mum is always smiling, so friendly, so kind.

Yup that’s my mumma! I have so many stories about the people whose lives she has touched, I could easily fill a book about Mumma Bear. We could not have asked for a better example of how to be a gorgeous human being than our Mumma Bear!

Besides all the work at home, caring for a huge family, Mum did not work for money when we were younger. She wanted to be around for us during our early years. She felt starting work before we were at school would disrupt our development…or something like that. But once my youngest sister Milly had started school, Mumma then decided to go back to nursing. For several years she worked on an endoscopy unit in the nearby hospital.

I remember the very first time she received wages. After years of gratefully accepting hand-me-downs from other kind families, Mumma wanted to go out and buy us something new. There was a new shop in the local shopping centre and they had some beautiful teddy bears. Mum bought one for the three of us “little ones”. I must have been ten years old at this time, because Milly was now at school. Mine was a slightly ginger brown. I called my teddy “Max”. Milly had a white bear which she named “Snowy”. Mandy, her more beige brown bear she named “Honey”.

Three bears for three little girls. We were so grateful to Mumma Bear. We all treasured those bears. I still had Max when I left home in my mid-twenties!

That was not the only treat. Mumma Bear really wanted to treat us. She took us to a local restaurant which was famous for their naughty puddings and desserts. I ordered a Banana Split. Milly ordered a knickerbocker-glory. Mandy ordered a salad! A salad…just about the farthest thing from a naughty dessert!

Aaaaah! It’s nice to reminisce over the pages and pages of special memories of those you love. Mumma Bear was the perfect mother to the three little girls, who still think she is one of the sweetest people on the planet.

My Very Big Family

I guess we all have a different way of viewing both ourselves and the world around us. That may be influenced by the culture in which we have been reared.

I think the majority of people would agree racism is unacceptable.  In fact, if you do think racism is fine, I really don’t think you will like this post in all honesty.

I have seen in my travels to various lands that people are people everywhere.  I find everywhere I go there are a mix of happy, sad, quiet, noisy, confidant, shy, strange, brave, funny, serious, fascinating people in every place I have ever visited.

I love people.  I am politically neutral.  You may wonder what that means?  Well, I have worked with international charities since I was fifteen, who maintain their view of the world as a human family and an earth-wide realm in which a lot of work has needed to be done.

For the charities I have worked with, it is imperative to remain separate and unaffiliated from any political regime, but at the same time to be respectful of the laws and taxes that are asked within that land. We have been able to get in to places where some other organisations cannot go, and we usually get in first, because we are strictly neutral.

I find it extreeeeeeeemely interesting to learn about other cultures. I love learning about and exploring new food, music, and humour. One of my favourite travel presenters is Michael Palin.  I saw a show last week which I think was the first of a two parter…about Michael Palin in North Korea.

I did not see the whole show, just a few minutes, but I am going to try to catch the second part.  In those few minutes, what I did see a lot of, was people.  I saw members of the human family eating, working, playing, in love, talking about their interests and hopes and dreams.

I had a teary eyed moment when I wondered why there are borders and wars and weapons.

My way of viewing the world…is a family, a very big family.  I would love to get to know every single member of my family at some stage.

The Point At Which Dad Would Intervene In Our Squabbles

I may have mentioned to you before, I am one of seven children.  I do think that 95% of siblings must at some point squabble.  Surely it was not only our family who had occasional squabbles.

My younger sister Mandy and I used to squabble.  I can’t remember what all of our squabbles were about…it us such a long time ago.

Mandy and I have have three school years between us but really only just over two birth years between us.  I was born in the late summer and she was born at the start of the autumn.  She grew taller than me quite early on (everyone thinks it is because she used to drink a whole pint of milk every day!)

It seems strange now that we squabbled as children.  Now we have so many similarities. We like the same clothes, the same music and food.  There is not really anything to argue about.  She likes that I clean her house from top-to-bottom when I stay and deplete her ironing pile.

Mandy used to throw tantrums though as a little girl.  I found them incomprehensible. She went through a few years where I used to feel so distressed I was in tears almost every day because I did not know what she would do next.  Mandy grew out of them.  I learnt to help her calm down.  We both learnt to appreciate each other and realized how much we had in common.  Life is so much better when you can get on with each other!

I do remember one squabble.  I was so upset with Mandy. My Granny had bought me a gift.  I thought it was truly wonderful.  A rainbow umbrella!  I was overjoyed with it.  I don’t remember ever having chance to use it in the rain.  But I did twirl around with it.  I used to reenact the famous scene from the musical “Singin’ In The Rain” with it.

Mandy did not like that I had one and she did not.  I still remember to this day the temper tantrum she threw during which she grabbed my umbrella, opened it up and then stamped all over it thus breaking all of the stretchers and rods of the umbrella.  My rainbow brolly was destroyed in one fit of envy.

That led to an almighty squabble.  I could not understand how she could have been so cruel.  I asked her why she had done it and demanded she go and buy me a new one (she was about 4 years of age…she was not going to be able to buy me a new umbrella).  She just laughed in my face and told me if I was given another umbrella she would break that one too.

I called her a “pig”.

She pushed me over.

Next minute Mandy and I were both locked into a brawl.  Mum tried to separate us.  But we were both determined in our outrage towards each other.  Mum could not prise the two of us apart.  Mum fetched Dad.

Dad told us to stop fighting.  He raised his voice and warned us he would count to three. (We all knew what that meant.)  But the moment Dad intervened with the squabble was when he saw me pull Mandy’s hair.  Dad swiftly picked me up and I found myself standing on a bench looking my father in the eyes.

Dad stared at me, he opened his mouth and said slowly and emphatically:

“NEVER EVER PULL YOUR SISTER’S HAIR!”

I argued of course, crying my eyes out about what Mandy had done to my rainbow umbrella and how she had pushed me over.  Mandy started crying about how I had called her a “pig”.

Dad just shook his head and put his hands on my shoulders and repeated even more sternly:

“NEVER EVER PULL YOUR SISTER’S HAIR! SHE MIGHT BECOME BALD BECAUSE OF YOU.”

My father had a real thing about hair.  Two of his brothers were bald.  Dad has always looked after his own golden locks.  He has made sure he wears a hat while at work to protect his hair.  He combs his hair very carefully and he won’t let anyone else touch his hair.  It seems to have been his pride and joy…he is more protective over his hair than Samson.  He still has a lovely head of hair at the age of seventy, which is mostly dark blonde with a handful of grey hairs that you only notice if you are sitting next to him.

Dad could tolerate a little squabbling amongst us children. It happens.  Within a family you should have plenty of opportunities to learn how to get on with other people, how to respect each other, you learn all about forgiveness and sharing.  My parents did have to help us along on many occasions reasoning with us until they were able to make inroads into our little hearts.

However, I remember on so many occasions, before it ever got to the point where Dad would sit down and reason with us, he would swoop down and grab one of us when we were squabbling.  The trigger for him intervening in a squabble was almost always that one of us had grabbed our opponent’s hair.  My father would not tolerate it.  He would make it very clear that we had gone too far.  No hair-pulling was allowed within the Finch household AT ALL!

 

via Squabble — Word of the Day Challenge

 

 

Would You Like To Meet The In-Laws?

JUST TO EXPLAIN – THIS IS A POST I WROTE THREE YEARS AGO, AND AM NOW RE-PUBLISHING…OF COURSE I AM NOT SPENDING ANY TIME WITH MY FAMILY – WE ARE IN A NATIONAL LOCKDOWN!!!

Tomorrow, I am spending all day with my little sisters and their husbands.  I bought one of my brothers-in-law a very naughty gift.  My sister is going to tell me off.  He loves caramel, as do I.  So, I bought him a jar of Bonne Maman Caramel Spread – which is pure utter naughtiness.

For my other brother-in-law I have bought a Sundried Tomato Spread – which is also yummy – I am quite addicted to it at the moment.  I am finding it incredibly hard to find though.  I used to buy it in the local “Le Pain Quotidien”, but they have stopped ordering it for their shelves.  The only other branch I know that still stock it is on the other side of London!

There are so many fantastic artisan delis, patisseries and artisan bakeries around here, I will be forever finding gifts and forever at risk of spending more than my budget dictates.  I have bought some other foodie goodies…cakes, posh crackers, jars and bottles of this and that and the other…all yummy gifts for my younger family members.

I would like to tell you about my younger brothers-in-law.  (Sadly, the older ones are not worth a mention having negated their marriage vows, but the younger ones are super. Both of my sisters will celebrate eleven years of marriage this year.)  Yet my two younger brothers-in-law are oh so different.

One I must admit I have a super soft spot for – thus the caramel spread I bought for him. If he was ten years older, then I would have grabbed him before my sister Milly had a chance!!!  He is very down to earth and fun.  A hard-worker.  I love that he married Milly because he is just the type of person I get on with and I know my whole family adore him.

At first, he seemed to have a bit of a shy streak.  I remember years back when he came a-visiting, there were a few occasions when he seemed relaxed on his arrival, but then something odd happened.  I think as he saw us girls chattering away ten to the dozen, sometimes he seemed to feel the need to escape.  And escape he would!  Quite literally, he would step into the kitchen or outside the house for a moment to himself.  I was not sure at the time whether he found our family’s noisy chatter and laughing a bit over-whelming.

My opinion changed when we went to a get-together with his family.  I started to doubt that he was overwhelmed by our noisy chatter because his family were incredibly loud.  So, I started to wonder what was it that he found challenging about us. I drew the conclusion his family are very male dominated – lots of very loud and lively blokes always laughing and singing and play fighting.  We were female dominated (six girls and one boy) so we chatted non-stop and laughed and sang but I guess we were just so different.  He was not used to so many lively girls.

His family are amazing….it will take me too long to tell you about them now.  I will tell you more in other posts.  When he and my sister first married, I went to stay for a weekend with them.  I was amazed that she had kind of been thrown in the deep end with doing all the house-work and cooking.  He did help with the house-work, but Milly seemed to be determined to be a domestic diva.  In addition, all these boys who were used to my brother-in-law being their best mate, would just turn up at the house, without ringing ahead to ask if that was convenient.  My sister would suddenly be making dinner for 12.  Milly just got on with it.  She is the same now, she just gets on with whatever work there is to do.  One by one his mates stopped just dropping in without an invitation, once they were getting married.  In that fairly remote corner of the countryside, it does seem that people get married and start having children at quite a tender age.  Now most of them have children.  They all appreciate that it is easier to plan in advance rather than turning up at the home of your friends, expecting to be fed.

My brother-in-law is a typical member of his family.  The entire clan seem to be made up of builders, window cleaners, farmers…they are all hard-working, down-to-earth and very jolly and gregarious.  Love them, truly truly…they have an infectious love of life and laughter of heart.  The countryside were where they all live…it is simply stunning…healing for the heart!

My other younger brother-in-law is super too.  But a very different kettle of fish.  He had a crush on my sister from the age of thirteen.  Mandy was not sure about him for a long time, but I think she found that being adored by someone was irresistible.

He also comes from a close-knit family who liked to do a lot of socialising and holidaying.  They are a town family like our own.  He had a super-mum.  Now I think most mums do a lot…but when I say super-mum.  You know what I mean by the phrase “Super-mum” don’t you? – However this Supermum probably did too much…and not necessarily wisely.  It is a risk.  He and his brother were wearing pretty much identical clothing well into their twenties.  Always smart and pristine. Why?  Because their super-mum would shop for them.  She was incredible at cleaning and washing and ironing and cooking.  She kept both her home and family looking immaculate.  Not saying there is anything wrong with that.  But it may have caused some challenges for my sister.  When Mandy was first married it seemed her husband expected her to be just like his mum…just like his Supermum!

Well, Mandy is one tough lady, she is not like Milly and I at all.  Milly and I get on with everyone and would rather someone walked all over us than pick a fight.  Mandy has a streak of fire than runs through her bones.  You are wise not to cross her!  Don’t borrow her clothes without asking permission! She soon made sure my brother-in-law understood that she was not his mother!

Mandy found it hard to get used to my brother-in-law’s family at first.  They are a lovely family, but she was a bit overwhelmed at first that his mum wanted her to be part of the family immediately and to get all close and cosy.  My brother-in-law’s mum and my sister are not alike.  However, all that changed when my sister realized that every Sunday his mum would cook a giant roast dinner with two different types of meat and always a scrummy dessert.  Mandy loves her meat!

It is true though, they have very different personalities and have certainly had times when they did not see each other’s point of view.  But they both love my brother-in-law.  My sister finds it odd that his mum buys them both thermal underwear each winter…but she accepts that these are habits that are unlikely to ever change.  I would love someone to buy me thermal underwear every winter!

Anyway….back to my brother-in-law.  I remember the days when he was courting our Mandy.  There he was with his brother, both of them looking like catalogue models wearing smart jeans, polo-necks, cashmere sweaters, smart loafers – and we were all off to the beach.  They knew we were going to the beach.  My sisters and our friends and I were all wearing shorts and T-shirts and flip-flops.  The beach meant fun!  We were all running through the waves and sand and screaming and singing.  Naturally, more than a little water was splashed around…and those boys were freaking out because we splashed their beautiful clothes.  Well, I did feel sorry for their super-mum having more work to do.  But in all honesty, we wondered why on earth they would wear those clothes for a day out at the beach.

My sister has worked on him.  She has helped him to see that rather than always looking as if you are a catalogue model, it is best to wear clothes appropriate for the occasion.  He is a great lad.  Most importantly he loves my sister – which makes him wonderful – ha!

I am very pleased with both of my younger brothers-in-law.  Not only do we feel delighted that they are a part of our family, but we love that we are an addition to their families.  Before any of my siblings married, we did feel a bit unconnected, not sure how the rest of the world regarded us.  Having in-laws is super.  We are no longer a family, more like an empire.  All workers who love life, love family, love laughter and love food.  Nothing special really…just what we humans were designed for.  I know not everyone has this now…I do know it.  It is not right.

I read in history class once that strong families make strong communities and ultimately make strong empires.  I also read that often the fall of empires is once they acquire great wealth, moral depravity and family breakdown has eroded the structure of their society.  Their very foundations have crumbled.

In my mind…the whole human family should be exactly that…a family where every single person can thrive…working hard, and having good food and loved ones to share life with and to sing, dance and laugh with.  One glorious day hey!!

Why Was Milly Always Given More Sweets Than Mandy and Me?

Sweets… treats… yummy… gummy… choco… rocko… sugar plum… raisin rum… fruity gel… caramel…!!!

In moderation…all fine and fun and fabulous. Especially as a child…if we had been good…sweets.  If Mum and Dad were proud of us…sweets!  If we went to visit our Nanna’s home…sweets!!  If we had to go to the Doctor’s surgery or the dentist’s practice…sweets!!!

Oh yeah!!!!

However…I have always wondered why was Milly given more sweets than Mandy and me?

I have my favourites, I have to admit.   However, I am not overly fussy when it comes to naughty sweet treats…I am just not a big fan of those chalky fizzy sweets – you know the ones I mean?  Except Love Hearts…even though I don’t really like eating them…I applaud the concept.  One of my friends had a wedding cake which was plastered with love hearts and had sticks of candy rock as the supports to each tier of the cake.

However…I have always wondered why was Milly given more sweets than Mandy and me?

My own personal favourites were white chocolate mice.  Amongst the highest echelons of sweetie perfection!  I liked the brown chocolate mice as well.  But as a little one, the reward of white chocolate mice after being a good girl for mum when we went on an errand with her was epic!  I would do a little celebratory dance to show my gladness. When the sweet shop man handed us our paper bag with our treasured sweeties, I would say “thank you thank you thank you with sugar sprinkles and a cherry on top”.  Utter exquisite happiness…all for 10p!  Thanks Mumma…for all those delicious white mice you bought me throughout good days and bad.  The mice you bought to cheer me up during my trials and tribulations.  The mice you bought when I had done something you approved of and you wanted to reinforce in me that I should be a good good girl.

However…I have always wondered why was Milly given more sweets than Mandy and me?

I found two favourite chocolate bars.  I would save my pocket money (when I was old enough to be given pocket money) and these were my two favourite chocolate bars for many many years.

 

 

 

However… I  have always wondered why was Milly given more sweets than Mandy and me?

When I look back (retrospectively…ha ha – still in the habit hey!!!) I have to admit I was never without sweets.   Of course if I had been naughty, then naturally sweets were withheld.  Once we started high school and my parents gave us pocket money, they no longer bought sweets for us.  It was up to us to choose how to spend our pocket money.

However…I have always wondered why was Milly given more sweets than Mandy and me?

Mum used to take us all the way to a dental practice in a seaside town about forty minutes drive away from where we lived.  There were lots of closer dental practices. However, Mum took us to the dental practice where she had registered at the age of twenty-one when she had a little bedsit and had just left her nurse training course.  (That is another story I will tell you about one day.) Most of my family still travel there after all these years. 

When we were little ones the dentist gave my Mumma a right telling off!  Why?  Well, he blamed my mum for the state of our teeth.  Mum had been training us to brush our teeth sure enough  However, she would buy us boiled sweets.  The dentist could somehow tell that we had been walking round with a boiled sweet slowly dissolving within our  little mouths.  It was dissolving out enamel and apparently ruining our teeth.  The dentist gave my Mumma such a lecture that she wept.  I was only around six at the time.  I would never see, let alone taste another boiled sweet,  From then on, every time we had sweets they were soft.  Phew!  That meant chocolate mice were safe, chocolate sprinkles were safe, even my favourite chocolate bars were safe!  However, Mum would insist that we drank a glass of water after we had any sweets.  After that trip to the dentist, Mumma was much more zealous with supervising our dental health.  We were introduced to floss, mouthwash and we had the snazziest toothbrushes.

However…I have always wondered why was Milly given more sweets than Mandy and me?

I remember one of my very first school trips…you know…it is such a long story, I think I should save it for another post…let me tell you now though, I ended up with a huge shopping bag full of sweets to take with me onto the school bus that was going to take us to our destination.  You know, my Mumma had to reason with me, until I finally accepted that I should tell the teacher that they were for everyone to share.  I thought they were all for me.  Before Mumma won me over, I was thinking of how jealous my school friends would be when they saw how many sweeties I had.

However…I have always wondered why was Milly given more sweets than Mandy and me?

Aaaaah…now I come to the main issue that played on my mind for many years.  It was not my imagination.  Milly truly was given more sweets than Mandy and me.  We both saw it and we both felt keenly the injustice of the situation.

Finally my parents explained this mystery that had long provoked Mandy and I.  Why was Milly given more sweets than Mandy and me?

If Mandy or I were given a bag of sweets, we would gladly start munching them and convey our thanks to our parents or whoever else had kindly rewarded us with a treat. Mum or Dad would often say, “Why don’t you share your sweets with your friends, or with your brother and sisters?”  Mandy and I would object.  Under duress, we would finally be moved to offer our last few sweets to others.

But Milly was different.  Milly was special.  I mean that with every hint of respect for my gorgeous littlest sister.  If Milly was given a bag of sweets…this is what she would do. After expressing her thanks, she would open the bag and peer in gleefully.  Milly had the same joyful appreciation on receipt of a sweet treat as Mandy and I did.  However, Milly would look into her bag and immediately offer one to whoever had given her the sweets.  She would then rush around to everyone else present offering them one of the treasures from her goodie bag.  After everyone else had a chance to take a sweetie, Milly would dive into the bag and take one for herself.

When I finally comprehended why Milly was given more sweets than Mandy and I…my heart swelled with love and pride for my littlest sister.  My parents told us that noone had ever told Milly that she should offer sweets to others before she helped herself to them. That came all from Milly’s own little heart.  The best way to make sure that everyone had a treat was just to give the bag of sweets straight to Milly, who would  of her own initiative run around and make sure everyone had something and then finally take one for herself.

Surely you agree…Millly…is gorgeous!!!  Utterly gorgeous!  I am so proud of her.  I clap my hands and congratulate my parents who noticed this beautiful trait that Milly had manifested.  They made sure Milly was always given more sweets than Mandy and me.

Retrospective

https://esthernewtonblog.wordpress.com/2018/09/20/i-challenge-you-to-32/

Consider The Context

Please don’t examine me so closely

Please don’t analyse my every shade

In the stark light of this cold world

Devoid of warmth and colour

Take a few steps back if you will know me at all.

View me in the context of my family

Together we are a vibrant shot of life

A pretty and kindly haven of joy

Look at me in the greater scheme of things

How I interact in my world of friends

How I bloom even during dark days

Dancing with glee in the kaleidoscope I play in

View me as a tiny yet wonderful ingredient

In this grand and splendid universe of delight

I am only who I am due to a lifetime of others

Who’ve coloured every moment of my existence

My homage to all who have made me “me” and made me happy to be me

Dancing With A Desperado!

Since learning that I would not be allowed to see family, I have tried to think about the kind of food that I enjoy the most. It is always hard for me to pick favourites because I love variety. I knew I would not be able to face a lot of cooking and washing up though.

I have been picking up bits and bobs all week – vegan cheese and crackers, veggies to make a curry with and vegetarian treats. I also thought about what to drink during the holidays. Most of today I have been drinking coffee and tea and water. But I deliberately picked up a pack of Desperados this week. Beer flavoured with tequila – don’t ask me why but the combination works so well. I am not really a beer drinker – but my friends know that I am partial to a Desperado!

Around this time of the evening my family and I would be having a dance. It is so much fun the see three or sometimes four generations boogying together. Not this year! But I suppose there is no reason why I cannot dance here on my own!!!!!!!!