Tag Archives: dating

First Coffee Date In Months!

Coffee, Table, Shades, Sunglasses, Chill

Jack and I did something we have not down since February I believe. We went out for a coffee.

To think that I used to worry about public dates with Jack! It was great to be out in public with him. The staff recognised Jack and were super friendly. I think some of the other customers spotted him, but nobody approached to say hello.

I know it might sound insignificant, but it was great to be back in a cafe sipping Italian coffee and munching on macarons. It is so long since I had macarons, I forgot how delicious they can be…not as delicious as Jack of course.

Pastries, Sweetness, Macarons, Cake.

But It Was Always You

I don’t think you can ever comprehend what it was like to try to get on with my life without you, to pretend. I was going through the motions. Smiling because they told me to smile. Laughing to hide the tears. I did just as they advised. I went on dates and it was truly awful.

Suit, Man, Dapper, Work, Male, Business

There was one who sent me long romantic emails but was unwilling to ever meet me. I suspect he was married even though he told me he was not.

Man, Muscle, Fitness, Workout, Training

There was the one who tried to impress me with his athletic prowess and physique. He boasted of his strength and stamina all the time. I could hardly contain my laughter at his own self obsession.

Man, Silly, Funny, Crazy, Weird, Odd

Then there was the one who kept cracking terrible jokes. He had a bizarre sense of humour and laughed at what was absurd. I didn’t laugh with him. It was insidious.

Man, Fashion, Model, Fashion Man

Then the one who was a dedicated follower of fashion. Designer shades, wearing sportswear endorsed by basketball players and flashy trainers. What a complete wally!

Bicycle, Home, The Light, Light The Way, Travel, Green

The one who did everything green. He lived on a raw vegan diet. He bicycled, recycled, freecycled and had a negative carbon footprint. He spent hours cycling to work each way so that he didn’t have to use any transport that ran off fossil fuels. One night he was hit by a double decker bus. Sadly he will never cycle again.

Guy Playing Billiard, Pool Table, Men

Then there was the one who took me out with his pals. He let them lear at me while he placed bets at the pool table. He would snap his fingers and expect me to jump, fetch a beer for him or lend him another twenty dollars.


But what you may not realize is that there was only ever you. In all those men, all I was looking for was you. But I couldn’t have you, because you had stopped talking to me. I tried so hard to get on with my life. I tried to smile when I only wanted to cry. I tried to pretend. I went on dates with all those men and it was awful.

But you called me. You called me out of the blue. You gave me the chance to stop pretending for everyone else’s sake. You gave me the chance to admit that I never ever stopped looking for you, never stopped loving you. Thank you for picking up the phone and ringing me.

Man, Model, Young, Face, Male, Person

Did He Really Say “Don’t Call Me, I’ll Call You”?

It was the first date Annabelle had been on since saying goodbye to Robin. Matthew was a friend of Nina, who had been a friend since college. Nina had told Annabelle that Matt was a very decent guy, and although he could come across a little shy, he was a real catch.

Matt had suggested that they meet at the Victoria and Albert Museum in South Kensington. He loved history and often spent hours wandering around the museum at weekends. Annabelle knew the museum well. She used to live in an apartment around ten minutes away.

Before meeting they had told each other what they would be wearing, and agreed which entrance into the museum to meet at. Robin e-mailed Annabelle the night before saying how much he was looking forward to meeting her. He also announced that he had decided to carry a book and a rose, so that she could identify him amongst the crowds, and hoped she wouldn’t think it too much of a cliche.

Walking towards the museum, Annabelle spotted Matt and had time to regard him before he saw her. He had light brown curly hair and a handsome chiselled face. He looked smart.  Matt seemed surprised when Annabelle approached him and inquired, “Hi…are you Matthew?

Yes, hi. Are you Annabelle? Wow!

Annabelle held out her hand, and Matt accordingly took it and then leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. Matt seemed to be shaking.

Annabelle suggested they find a cafe to sit and have some coffee. They crossed the busy road and headed towards the many cafes that were bustling with tourists. Matt seemed to keep a distance from Annabelle. Rather than walking besides each other, he seemed to make sure his pace was too fast for Annabelle to keep up with. Annabelle pointed to a pretty Italian cafe. Matt nodded and went in ahead of Annabelle, and found a table which was right at the back of the cafe near the restroom.

Do you want to go first?” asked Mike.


Do you want to get your coffee first? I will look after the table.

Oh! Yes, sure. Shall I get you a coffee too?” suggested Annabelle.

No! I will get my own.” Matt grinned.

Annabelle stood in the queue trying not to contemplate whether she was enjoying the date so far. It had only been a few minutes. It just felt so different from dates with Robin. As she reached the front of the queue, she ordered a peppermint tea. She only drank peppermint tea when she felt anxious. As the waitress was making her tea, Annabelle turned and saw that Matt was looking her up and down and that he had a broad grin.

Once Annabelle had returned to the table with her tea, Matt jumped up to go and join the queue. He remarked that her coffee looked odd. Annabelle sat staring at the rose and the book that were laid on the table while she waited for Matt to join her again. They sat opposite each other and for a few moments there was silence, which Annabelle could not bear. She started to ask Matt questions about his work and his family, whether he had hobbies and interests other than history.

Matt then asked Annabelle what kind of relationship she was looking for. Annabelle was hesitant for a moment and said she did not really have any particular expectations. Matt then told Annabelle that he didn’t really want a relationship with lots of talking and chatting. He said he can’t cope with a woman who is needy. He explained he likes his own space, and did not really want someone always disturbing his peace with phone calls and messages. He mentioned that if he is watching something interesting on television, the last thing he wants is an interruption.

Annabelle absorbed what Matt was telling her. She was not sure how to reply. So she said something that she doubted was wise on a first date, “The thing is Matt, I have just had a year-long relationship with a wonderful man. He and I were in touch nearly everyday and we did things together. We visited lots of interesting places, we went for walks in the countryside, we made love a lot… there was a lot of making love. I am not really over him. But he has gone, he is in another country now. We have said our goodbyes and although we will always be friends, we have both agreed that we are now single and free to pursue romantic connections elsewhere. So I am just starting out with dating again, I don’t have anything set in my mind.

Oh this is the guy Nina mentioned. Well, if he has moved to a different country, it’s over then isn’t it. I don’t mind having sex with you, well, I mean, I am sure I will quite enjoy it. It’s all the chatting I don’t want. It does my head in. I had a girlfriend for a couple of years, and she was driving me insane with wanting to talk all the time. I’m not having any of that. I am a man who needs his space, but who likes to spend time with a beautiful woman every now and then, and of course sex will be a part of that.”

So, am I correct in understanding Matt, that after today, you don’t want me to text you, or call you. You will let me know when you feel like having a woman’s company? Is that right?

That would be ideal, you’ve got it in a nutshell” replied Matt looking satisfied that Annabelle had understood him so quickly.

Annabelle put her bag over her shoulder and rose up from the table. “Well, thank you for making time to meet me Matt. I will do as you say, I won’t text you or call you. I don”t want to disturb your peace, or your enjoyment of life, or any interesting television programs.”

This was great Annabelle, I am glad we got on so well and that we understood each other. I will call you about next time. We could have sex if you want next time we meet up.”

I am going to have to go Matt. I need to be somewhere and I am worried I am going to be late.”

Alright Annabelle. Look forward to seeing you next time. Do you wanna kiss before you go like?

Maybe next time Matt.” Annabelle turned and fled from the cafe. As soon as she left, she began to run towards the tube station. She boarded a train headed west-bound. Forty-seven minutes later she stepped off the train and bounded towards the escalator leading upwards. She rushed through the tunnel towards the elevators where scores of people were waiting patiently. When the doors of the elevator opened, Annabelle managed to squeeze her way into an elevator which then speedily took it’s passengers up three floors.

On leaving the elevator, Annabelle viewed the signs and message boards that were displayed. She walked towards a desk under a glowing red sign that read “Singapore Airlines”. A pristine assistant greeted her with a beaming smile and asked how they could be of service. Annabelle asked if she could purchase a ticket on the next flight to Adelaide, Australia.

talking on phoneAs soon as she had purchased her ticket, she dialled Robin’s number on her phone. Within a couple of ringing tones, she heard his voice “Hey baby, I love it when you call me at three o”clock in the morning. I was just thinking of you when my phone started ringing. How did you know?

Oh Robin, I am so sorry I woke you, I forgot about the time difference.”

Annabelle, you can call me anytime, I love hearing the sound of your voice.”

Robin, do you have plans twenty seven hours from now?

Hmm – let me see that will be Monday morning at around six o’clock. I think I will be exactly where I am right now, in bed, dreaming about my girl back in London.

Do you think you could change your plans for me Robin?

What no hot fantasising about you?

Would you maybe meet me at the airport instead?

Here? The airport here in Adelaide! Yaa-hess! Wow Annabelle – you’re coming over!


This post in response to The Genre Challenge hosted by Teresa aka The Haunted Wordsmith

Today’s genre: Romance


Back In The Saddle Again

I did mention last weekend that I was going on a coffee-date with another man – not Goldfinch. Because of course, Goldfinch is 10,100 miles away, so coffee-dates are not something he and I are going to be able to enjoy. Besides, Goldfinch didn’t drink coffee.

I have not written a lot about that date and how it went yet. There is a reason. Technically it was fine. However,…aaah sigh, I had to excuse myself from the table to go to the ladies where I spent several minutes bringing up my lunch, and then trying to disguise that I felt so ill.

Then I arrived back at the little nest. I know this is going to sound strange, but I had the scent of him in my system. There is nothing wrong with his scent. It was just different to the scent of Goldfinch. There was nothing wrong with the scent of the man I met for coffee. But I breathed it in from my coat and my instant reaction was to feel sick. I threw up again.

This weekend is our second date. It’s really hard to explain how sick I feel. Not sick with nerves. Sick with not wanting to be on a second date. Sick with the thought of being touched by a man that is not Goldfinch.

I heard this song the other day… and it reminded me of Sam, the character Tom Hanks plays in the movie “Sleepless In Seattle”. He goes on a date with another woman before he meets Annie (played by Meg Ryan). I think the other woman’s name is Victoria, and she has a distinctive laugh. There’s nothing wrong with Victoria. She is kind, she is a nice person. But it’s all wrong. Sam does know that really, but he probably has less idea than I do about how to go about dating and forging a relationship with someone else when the person that you actually love and actually want to be with just is not there anymore. Sam pushes himself to go ahead with dating Victoria (poor gal) even though it feels so strange and uncomfortable.

Please don’t ask me how this second date goes, because I know I am not going to want to answer. I just have to try not to keep throwing up.

Guilt And Coffee

So what is happening this weekend that Caramel might be writing about at a later date?

The coffee-date with the friend of a friend – that is happening this weekend. By the time you read this post, it will already have happened. I am not really ready for it. I have been very emotional the past few days. Which is partly very natural because I work very long hours Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

All sorts of unhelpful thoughts traipse through my mind at times about the future.  I have felt safe here for the past two years. Things will change though. I have to be prepared that I may not have the comforts I do now.

But it is also my feelings about Goldfinch and my feelings about the little blueberry I am responsible for seven weeks after Goldfinch parted. I do feel a sense of guilt about going on a coffee-date, but I have been open with Goldfinch, and I am sure he is more than happy with me.

I don’t actually have any enthusiasm for coffee-dates with other men. But this man seems very lovely, and I am going to go along and hopefully just have a real good chatter. How open I will be about my situation, I don’t know yet, But I will have to at some point.

I will let myself settle a bit before I write a post about how the coffee-date went. But right now, before I go, I will admit, I am finding it hard to see anything past Goldfinch…and the little blueberry.

I Am Ready For Dancing, But Nothing Else

Should I go to a party on Saturday with a male friend who has been single for about a year?

dateHis girlfriend moved to Canada when she had an exciting job opportunity. As far as he says, they were happy together and will always be friends. But he says they do not have plans to continue their relationship in the future, she is dating other men over there. I think he volunteered all this when I was talking to him and some other friends when I went out for drinks last week.

He texted me a couple of times that night and basically said he thought that he and I have a lot in common (because my Goldfinch has moved to Australia). He said any time I want to talk I could call him.

It is unlikely I will know anyone else at the party, so I will be a bit tied to him perhaps. Although I am not at all shy, even with new people. The thing is, it really is too soon for me to go out on anything that would be regarded as a “date”. Way too soon!

How would he take it if I admit that I don’t want to develop a close friendship with another man yet? However, I would love, absolutely love to go to a party and have a dance! Will he be alright with that?

It would be nice to put on a frock, and go out for a dance. I don’t want to offload about missing Goldfinch to him (hey I have all of you for that!!!) and I don’t want to give him any impression that I am ready to think of someone else so very soon after losing my beloved.

I have told Goldfinch already by the way. I don’t want him to be left out of my decisions over when it is time to go out with another man. I miss Goldfinch so much. I keep imagining him wrapping his arms around me and holding me close while I sleep. He loved to sleep holding me tightly. At first I found it a tiny bit claustrophobic. But I came to love it. Sometimes I wake up in a panic – where is he?

But I would love to go out dancing!