Is This Really As Crazy As It Seems?

This is all happening so quickly!!!

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I wish I could encapture some of it. So many conversations between us. So many looks, and touches. We are racing along at breath-taking speed. When I think of how little time has passed, it seems crazy!

I think it is only possible because so far everything is making sense. If I come across something I cannot accept…maybe we will have to slow down and discuss it more carefully. So much seems completely natural, not crazy at all.

robin and annie talking1.jpgAt the moment…it just feels as if I am back with my housemate, whose ways I know and understand. Nothing is a surprise, because I know him so well. So despite the rift that kept us apart…all that time we spent together in the past, is proving a great foundation for now. I get him. I know exactly what to expect.

He is a crazy bundle of energy and fizz. He is extraordinarily clever (as in facts and figures – what a brain box!) but not very aware socially. He is always so close to the border of leaving someone baffled or staggered. That’s where I come in – and my uses to him are so clear. Me – the epitome of diplomacy and elegance. He the unpredictable exuberant force, next to me, the sensitive, intuitive, gentler influence.

annie and robin4.jpgA lot of friends have labelled me a firecracker. I can have a crazy amount of enthusiasm and energy. I can be very exuberant…but when I am next to him, I am like a cool calm that just gently nudges him to indicate that somebody is about to explode, and reminding him that people can misunderstand and misjudge.

It reminds me of why those who loved us genuinely felt we would be good for each other. We are both full of life, we both have big hearts. We are both good students, he is brainer than me, but I am not at all ignorant, which he needs. We are both very sociable, but I have much better social skills, and know how to discreetly indicate to him that he is fudging something and provoking people. I can see why people who cared about us thought we would be a good team.

I just keep telling myself though…this is not a sprint (it has all been at break-neck speed so far!), we are entering a marathon! We want this to be something that is going to last surely. So I am trying to accept that while there might be a lot of things that are easy (we clearly know each other so well), I need to be on the look out for anything that might threaten the team that we are melding into. We need to be ready to take on life’s challenges together and the whole world!

Both being slightly crazy…and both being crazy in love is a good thing! I think!

Here is the mighty original for those who don’t get annoyed by people prancing around in their underwear.

Wormholes In My Mind

brain.jpgI mentioned the other day that this time of year I seem to be plagued with powerful memories and flashbacks. The human brain – a mystery and yet hailed as the most remarkable thing yet discovered in the universe. Mine had a bit of a shaking – quite literally – when I received head injuries on the night I was the victim of a crime.

This is the fourth summer I am finding that the weather, the grass, trees, noises of animals, darkness, benches…all sorts of daft things seem to be triggers – thoughts go racing through the wormholes of my mind and take me back to an awful event in my life.

Sigh. It is tiring, very tiring. And I feel unreasonable fears. I can’t specify what I am frightened of…it’s more a recurrence of the dread I felt that night when I realized what was happening.

Most of the time I am fine, everything is fine, and the trauma of what happened does not effect me too much. But these flashbacks make me feel just a tad crazy at times. It really stretches me. I should not have to put this much effort into taming my mind. But my mind is wild and raw right now.

Which reminds me…I was singing a song to myself the other day which I have not heard for ages! But it is definitely worth a spin! I remember one of my friends giving me an Eternal album as a gift. I was not a huge fan of them myself, but I loved that album. Here is the odd thing about memory…I know a school friend gave me that album, but I don’t know who. I remember primary school clearly, high school is a vague recollection.

When I received my head injuries, it did effect my memory. My family and friends have noticed more than I have. But every now and then I have identified that there are missing memories – periods in my life where I just cannot remember people. I can remember some things, but cannot connect them to a bigger picture – I hope that makes sense. Maybe it is all there…somewhere through the wormholes of my mind.

Anyway…this was one of the songs that I liked from that Eternal album…there were some other great tracks – perhaps I will use them in future posts. If my memory does not fail me!