Thank You For Being You, Wonderful You… And Not Somebody Else

I moved to this little nest on 28th December 2016. One evening something happened which made me feel positive about being here. Before then I had been very unsure whether I would be able to settle here.

Have you ever been through a crises in confidence?  Perhaps after a series of failures, you felt inadequate to face any more future challenges.  Or maybe trials had eroded your optimism and worry had started to gnaw at your outlook.  I am going to tell you how a complete stranger imparted encouragement to me at a time my confidence was failing. She probably had no idea what her words meant to me.cash

I was itching to be back in London. I had spent almost a year with friends and family after I was attacked and was hoping that now I was physically and emotionally ready to take on the Big Smoke.

My first situation when I returned to London turned out disastrously.   I will save the story for another post, because I am going have to think very carefully about the words I choose regarding the man who was my boss…hmm… I gave my notice in after a couple of weeks and moved to another part of London.  However, whilst I was in a better situation, I had a knockback when I was involved in an accident at work and had to be taken to hospital for a CT scan.  After being discharged, the hospital personnel told me I needed to rest rest rest before I thought about work again.  I admitted to my bosses that I would not be able to say when I would be safe to return to work and we agreed to end my temporary contract.  So I spent the next few weeks with family again.

Anyway… still determined to get back to my life and career as a full-time volunteer in London, I found lovely accommodation and another job and I moved down to London a couple of months later, 28th December, ready to start work the following week.

I was a tad anxious though.  My previous experiences had made me doubt my capabilities to be… what is that word that helps you to achieve your goals?  Oh yes, TENACIOUS!

failureIn all honesty, I didn’t really have much fight in me after everything I had been through. I was rather feeble emotionally and was almost expecting I was going to have yet another failure.

At times, we can be our own worst critic.  I was frustrated with myself, frustrated with my body for letting me down (as I perceived it).  It was gnawing at my confidence that I was still not fully “back on my feet”.  Was it me?  Was there something wrong with me that meant I was doomed for persistent failures?

What if I let down my new landlord and my new boss?  What if I failed again?

It was with thoughts like these swimming around my head that I moved back to London. There was a young woman sitting near me on the train journey down to London I have often wished I could thank.  I brought a large suitcase and a small suitcase when I moved.  She kindly helped me to get both cases all the way from the railway station and onto the underground train I needed to catch, even though she was going a different way.  I cannot remember her name.  I only know that she worked for St Georges Hospital and she was hoping one day to work in plastic surgery, treating those who have suffered from burns and injuries in war torn areas.

What would I do about my crises of confidence?

Cash-machineThe first night I arrived I went to a cash machine on the local high street.  As I approached and pulled my debit card out to insert into the machine, I noticed that a large amount of money was sticking out of the machine.  I did not touch it, but it looked to be around £200-£300 at least.

I was not sure what to do at first.  The machine would not allow me to insert my own card.  It was beeping and there was a prompt notice on the screen asking the user to take the cash.  A man drew up on a motorcycle and stood behind me waiting his turn to use the machine.  I looked up and down the high street wondering if there was anyone nearby who was running back for the cash they had forgotten, but there was nobody else around.  I was a bit worried that if I asked the man behind me, he might grab the cash himself and make a run for it.  I felt responsible to guard the money I had found.  The was a mini-supermarket nearby.  Maybe I should take the cash inside there for safe -keeping and report to them what had happened.  Then I remembered there is a police phone number for non-emergencies.  So I rang 101 and asked what I should do.  The administrator on the line asked me if there was anyone else around.  She was very kind and expressed her sympathy for me standing there bewildered because somebody else’s money was in jeopardy.

Suddenly I saw a woman (I would have guessed in her sixties) running back towards us. She was returning with the horror of realizing she had forgotten the money she had just withdrawn.  I reassured her it was still there.  She was so glad, so grateful.

It was this lady, this complete stranger who then said to me the words I used in the title of this post:

Thank You For Being You, Wonderful You… And Not Somebody Else

The lady on the phone at 101 had heard everything.  She was also very kind.  She told me that some people would just have run off with the money without a thought.  She said “that lady is right, you should take her words to heart.”

I walked home with tears in my eyes.  Those words had such a powerful effect on me. They were desperately needed words that bolstered my courage.  I had a reminder that what defines success or failure, is not how much money you earn, the career you are striving within, the qualifications and accolades you may have been awarded.  Success is not having a perfect situation, a perfect body, perfect health, or being able to say you have never been bullied and you have never been the victim of a crime.

Qualities of the heart…that’s what my parents aimed to cultivate in us.   They wanted to be sure that where-ever life took us, whether we were in company or all alone, we would live by the values they had sounded down into our little hearts.  There would be times when we might not know exactly what to do.  We might meet challenges that bamboozled us!  But so long as we stayed within the beautiful lessons for life that we had been taught we would be successful.

What a wonderful thing to say to someone, and a complete stranger at that!  I would love that lady to know how much I appreciated her expression of thanks on my first night back in London.

Thank You For Being You, Wonderful You… And Not Somebody Else

 

 

Oozing Confidence!

Another of the challenges created by aguycalledbloke  aguycalledbloke

…and this week he has created another “Game On” challenge, as he explains in the post below:

Game On – Series 2 – Confidence

This challenge is based on the theme: CONFIDENCE.

The Rules …

confidence.jpg1] Leave the Permanent Questions [PQ] always in place PLEASE.

2] Reblog should you so desire

3] If you do reblog, a ping back would always be welcomed so l don’t miss it.

4] This is a non tagger/non nomination game.

Daily Topic Subject – Confidence

Q1] What does confidence mean to you?

It is a mix between having no shame….and having a very solid foundation on which your life is built.

That may be solid values, a solid support network of family and friends, a real grasp on what is important.  Realizing that you cannot be easily swayed by popular opinion or propaganda, because you realize that lots of people don’t check their facts, they just get caught up in the current and have no idea about a lot of important things.

Things might go wrong, but you can recover because of the solid foundation you are built on.

Q2] What you do believe to be your main strengths?

Any strengths I have are all due to the hard work my parents and others put into me.  I am so grateful for them.

I am a fairly good communicator.

My memory seems fairly sharp.

I like to be helpful.

I am a great side-kick.  I love to support someone who is my superior.

I tend to be obedient.  If you give me a recipe…I will follow it precisely.  I like to be obedient.

If I say I will do something for you, I will – Mum and Dad set the example in reliability and faithfulness.

window cleanerMum and Dad have set a great example, which I try to follow, in humility (which I think is one of the most beautiful qualities) and industriousness.

I like to work hard and give my employer an honest day’s work.  I like to learn.  I am willing to go in and start from scratch and patiently learn a new skill.

Q3] What do you think are your weaknesses?

Do you really have time to read all of my weaknesses?

  • Ccheese boardheese (I am not great with dairy, but I love cheese!)
  • I tend to bottle things up emotionally.
  • I don’t like to be a burden to anyone, so sometimes try to handle things alone instead of crying for help.
  • My left ankle is weak…I have strained the ligaments in it many times.
  • The right side of my head, I still worry it looks odd after the injuries I received three years ago.
  • I am a bit of a technophobe.
  • I sometimes publish my posts without checking for spelling or grammar errors.
  • I am always forgetting umbrellas, I leave them on the bus, in restaurants, in my friends’ cars or hallways.
  • I am not very good at being creative or artistic.
  • I have always needed there to be someone who tells me “Well done!”  Without some kind of positive feedback, I get rather anxious that I might be doing things wrong.
Q4] Are you a risk taker?

Not when it comes to life…life is a phenomenal gift and I would not endanger life.  I am not the type to get frustrated about health and safety legislation.  If it saves one life, it is worth it.

What would I risk?  Erm…well, recently I gave in my notice to my former employer without having a job to go to.  Things worked out of course, but I was nervous!

PQ5] List 8 things that positively impact your confidence.

Does that count as my answer to that question?

Q6] Do you learn from your mistakes?

Is not the ability to learn from your mistakes a major advantage to life!

If you can’t learn from you mistakes, you are just going to keep getting hurt over and over.  I hope I have learnt from most of my mistakes.

PQ7] List 8 things that negatively impact your confidence..

Mirrors!

Tiredness.

Being the subject of unkind gossip.

The intense pain I have in my head at times.

People who are aggressive or get angry quickly.

Flashbacks to the crime I was victim of three years ago.

It is odd to see little children who know more about technology than I do.

I wish I was perfect for Goldfinch.  I love him so much, but I am not the woman of his dreams…or he would not be going back to Australia would he?

Q8] How are you when meeting new people for the first time?

Fine…good manners, politeness help everywhere.  Most people respond to a smile and kindness.

Show interest in other people – many people love to talk about themselves, so just be good at listening and asking questions to encourage them.

I do love people…although I have come across some absolute rotters…but you don’t know what someone is truly like until much later down the line.

Q9] If you had to address a and audience and deliver a five minute speech on a subject you were passionate about – could you do it?

I have done it hundreds of times.

Q10] What is your current attitude towards politics?

Neutral with regards to human politics.

However, I obey the law and pay my taxes.  I just don’t vote.

Q11] Would you describe yourself as a confident person?

I think you have to be to survive in London, especially if you are driving a car.

I used to be a lot more shy when I was younger.  But I have had so many wonderful experiences of overcoming my nerves and getting to know and work with new people over the years.  I am more confident now.

I don’t know how confidant I am, but I am not shy like I used to be.  I am much more relaxed.

PQ12] In reference to Question 9 – if you answered yes what would be your specialist subject for five minutes’? Discuss

Oh goodness…there is an awful lot I can talk about.  It all depends on the audience.  I would pick a very different theme and subject depending on who made up my audience.

If I could choose my audience, it would be a group of house-keepers and I would discuss the marvels of white vinegar.

Q13] How sure are you of your feelings and emotions – as in are you true to them?

I have lots of feelings and emotions…but I know they might be wrong at times, and if they could lead me to harm or cause me to hurt someone, I would do my utmost to suppress them.

I like to make decisions based on clear reason, but that also feel right.  When I need advice with a decision, I would turn to someone who is not overly sentimental, who can think logically.

Q14] How well do you cope with unexpected changes to your routines?

Happens all the time!  I try not to worry anymore.  Things happen.  If you are tied to a plan or a schedule and can’t cope with a disruption, stress can rise quickly.  I just try to keep focused on my end purpose or objective and accept that there may be many different ways to get things done.

PQ15] In reference to question 9 – and you answered no, but still had to be in front of the audience, what WOULD your confidence allow you do – explain.

I answered yes…

But in addition to giving a speech, I would be happy to offer a song too!

Perhaps even a dance, if my audience were paying to see me perform.

Q16] Is success important to you?

Define success!  Success to me involves things like:

successLearning to love, and being loved – humans thrive on love. (I am not talking about romantic love necessarily, though that is nice too!)

Being honest, being trustworthy, having integrity.

Doing what you can to look after your health.

Having satisfying work and a safe, clean home.

Q17] Do you set yourself goals and are you able to achieve them within your set target periods?

I used to set many goals.  I am sure having goals helped me to make good decisions.

Since I was the victim of a crime three years ago, I have had to adjust my expectations of myself somewhat and although I maintain my focus on my objective, I try to be more patient.  But I know where I am headed and I have to build up my strength to get home.

Q18] True or false – You are born with self-confidence?

I think that is false.  So much of what shapes our personality depends on the environment in which we grew up.  I was shy as a kiddo, I have developed confidence when I have seen how things worked out for people who my parents advised me were not making wise decisions.  Mum and Dad were right about almost everything!

Q19] Do you believe that you cannot be successful in life if you do not have self-confidence?

Erm…No, I think.

However, I think it is an element of self-confidence, no just wisdom, that helps you to reject the popular view of success – fame, wealth, physical perfection – and instead live your life with real purpose and meaning.

I will say this though…people might be secure and confidant about themselves for all the wrong reasons!!!  Goodness, I have come across some eeeed-yats…I don’t like to be unkind about people.  But I have seen people who have had everything money can buy but were total losers!  Not that they realized that – nope they seemed to think they were rahter wonderful.

PQ20] Are you deleting any questions, if so which ones?

I am not deleting any of these.

Q21] Do you believe people with self-confidence are all arrogant?

Hmm….arrogance is not nice.  However, I think it is healthy to have a reasonable amount of self-esteem based on knowing you are a good person.  I think you have to get the right balance.  If you a nervous wreck all the time you won’t be enjoying life to the full, and other people will not know what to do around you if you are falling to pieces all the time.

A good sense of humour goes a long way to being relaxed in your own skin.

It is almost like having a good conscience…you can hold your head up and look people in the eye, because you know that you would never intentionally hurt them or steal from them or in anyway be cruel. That is far more important than the clothes you wear or how large your bank account is.

Live your life as a giver…no need to be shy.  Just jeep giving others reasons for joy.

 

 

 

Bridget Von Trapp Is Setting Out On A New Adventure

Another gorgeous photo prompt from The Haunted Wordsmith  The Haunted Wordsmith …I have to say I love this one!  It makes me want to gallop.  To skip and jump and do cartwheels.

It makes me think of ADVENTURE, which is something playing on my mind at the moment.  I am starting a new job tomorrow.  I feel a sense of intrepidation even though I am relieved to have left my old job behind. I am telling myself to think of it as another challenge, another adventure, something new to learn, another mountain to conquer.

As one of my all-time favourite characters, from any film I have ever watched, once sang beautifully well, I am feeling a little nervous:

What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free
My heart should be wildly rejoicing
Oh, what’s the matter with me?

I’ve always longed for adventure
To do the things I’ve never dared
Now here I’m facing adventure
Then why am I so scared?

 

countryside-1851503_640

Photo credit Pexels @ pixabay.com

I have a post I need to polish up in my drafts folder.  It is all about what my best friends say about me.  Years ago many of my friends and workmates laughed when they saw the movie bridget jones“Bridget Jones’ Diary”.  They said it is me all over.  Now, I don’t quite agree with that.  You see out of curiosity I watched “Bridget Jones’ Diary” on my own, when it was eventually broadcast on TV…and,maria von trapp because I didn’t like how many swear words I heard, I muted the sound and watched the rest of the film in silence.

In all honesty, I can see why people said I reminded them of Bridget Jones…I am not going to argue with that.  Goodness, even Goldfinch recently called me Bridget Jones.  But my best friends who know me well have hit the nail on the head when they describe me as a 50/50 split of Bridget Jones and Maria Von Trapp.  I would say this….I am trying to live my life like Maria Von Trapp, but it often works out more like Bridget Jones.  But if I had to choose my role-model – Maria would always win!  She is everything I would love to be.  I am a huge Julie Andrews fan, although Renée Zellweger is probably my favourite modern actress.

Back to my present situation…NEW JOB TOMORROW!  Well….I know how things turned out for the lovely Maria.

Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries
If I don’t I just know I’ll turn back
I must dream of the things I am seeking
I am seeking the courage I lack

The courage to serve them with reliance
Face my mistakes without defiance
Show them I’m worthy
And while I show them
I’ll show me

So, let them bring on all their problems
I’ll do better than my best
I have confidence they’ll put me to the test
But I’ll make them see I have confidence in me

Well…I am heading out and about to enjoy my Sunday before the new job starts tomorrow…and this is what I am humming in my head.  Wish me well!

 

 

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/07/29/worth-a-thousand-words-13/

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2018/07/29/day/