So….I survived DAY ONE of the new job. I think the day went well. Everyone was friendly, they gave me easy-ish work to do. But it will take a while to settle.
Going from a practice where everyone knows your name, where you know your role inside out…..to a big company with lots of floors, and lots of rows of desks and work stations – it is like moving from a village…
…to a big city…
…you can feel a little lost – to say the least.
It brings back the memories of starting school!
I am on the crest of the wave, the verge of change. I am looking out at all that is before me and feeling daunted, feeling very small.
But as I look out…I realize that whether I am ready for it or not….adventure awaits. There will be challenges and trials, there may well be pain – but there will be rewards too.
We go on walking, we learn, we grow, we conquer. We are all still so young, so weak, so feeble, and yet we are made mighty by our endurance, by our courage, by our faith.
Even when we are wasting away on the outside, the person inside does not give up! We are made mighty by braving to live, braving to love. We know that life is a voyage that impels us to go on, go forward, with our eyes fixed on the prize ahead.
I am in an odd sort of place right now. If I use the term “limbo”, I think you may know what I mean. Its the sense of change in front of me.
Today I realized that two of my colleagues are not going to be around next week when it would have been my last opportunity to see them…which meant that today was “goodbye”….or as I prefer “see you later”. After all I only live a few minutes away. I will be popping by to say “hello”.
It’s a weird time. I am so fond of the team I have been working with for the past two and a half years. We have been through so much together – the Pandemic was no small challenge! We have supported and encouraged one another.
We are in a good place right now in many ways. Strong, well-trained team, with lovely qualities and a great team spirit. Now….at a good time…I am leaving…setting sail into the unknown.
Life…so often it feels like a voyage. Storms….calm waters….you are never really sure what is ahead. But it is ok….at this point….I am a well-seasoned, well-travelled voyager. I know there will be trials, tribulations ahead…..but I also know that there are joys on the horizon – real, real deep joys.
It’s that feeling of the unknown that is a little daunting!!
There are a long long list of things that I never thought I could do…and yet I did!!!
Learn to mix cement to make mortar for brick-layingWhen I was a child I was lively, yet painfully shy at times. I liked to read and write and play sports and climb trees. I was a great swimmer. However, outside of that I did not think I was very talented or capable. I did not think I had the potential for anything much. But life is full of surprises,
I learnt not to be afraid of change and new situations. I was very secure living in the family home I had grown up in around people who had watched me grow from birth. Leaving home was a frightening. I learnt so much about my potential and my ability to learn and be trained. I also realized my parents really had taught us every life lesson we would need to guide us with new decisions. I found myself in situations I never imagined myself in and experiencing things I would never have even allowed myself to dream about. There is a very long list of things:
“I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD”, …and yet I did!!!
I found it very hard to decide which of the subjects listed to write about, so I will just mention one situation. I worked at the head office of a major retail chain for eight years. From the age of eighteen to twenty-six. I worked there part-time, but I was paid a full-time wage (that was because I was doing the same amount of work that two full-timers used to do before). Because I worked part-time, I was able to spend a lot of time on voluntary projects for various charities.
I was invited by a friend who co-orinated many projects in the south of England to move to a part of the country where the cost of living was high compared to up north, and therefore there were not as many volunteers. There were a lot of projects in that area waiting for more volunteers. When I handed my resignation letter in to my manager in the finance department I worked in, she asked if I had a source of income arranged in the south. My plan was to move and then apply for jobs. She made sure that the company I worked for very kindly helped me to relocate to the south of England and arranged for me to have a part time job in a neighbouring town to where I was living.
It became obvious very quickly that the journey to and from work was epic. I was travelling for longer than I was working. I gave in my notice and started to apply for other jobs in finance. But I only saw full-time roles advertised. That’s when I was offered a job as a private cook catering for a household. My reaction was: “BUT I CAN’T COOK!” They laughed and said I would be fine, they liked me and trusted me. They even gave me a cop of Delia Smith’s famous cookbook and told me to read it and refer back to it whenever I was in doubt.
I absolutely loved working as a cook. I cooked and baked everything from scratch. I learnt so much. It really boosted my confidence. I realized I did not ever want a desk job again. From then on I preferred physical work where I could learn new skills. I also found how much I loved being in people-orientated jobs and working out in the fresh air.
Again and again, I found myself earning my “bread and butter” through work I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD do…and yet I did!!!
This post was in response to the weekly writing prompt created by Sarah Elizabeth Moore.
Please feel free to create a post of your own and pingback to Sarah’s original prompt below:
https://sarahelizabethmoore.org/2019/01/13/writing-prompt-2/
Back to the big choky smoke. Back to work. Back to the concrete jungle.
London has been different this year. More people out walking and running. More people in the green parks (when they were open). Parts of London like ghost towns. Not as much hustle and bustle. Cafes, restaurants, pubs either closed or quieter than ever before.
The difference in London skies dramatic – no noise and chemtrails from planes. Hearing ecstatic birdsong all over London. Less crowding on public transport. A calm and unusual patience as people queued patiently outside supermarkets waiting for their turn to shop for groceries. Bizarre conversations about the search for toilet paper and paracetamol and alcohol gel – and there was a stage when nobody could get hold of facemasks, whereas now they are littered on every pavement.
People have asked all year – why would we ever go back to the crazy pace of life that we operated at before? Why would we ever do that? The answer for some people is simply – money. Money has been driving us at a horrid frenzied stressful pace. Now, will we be content with less?
2021 is likely to be crunch time financially. I expect governments to do some pretty drastic things. We will have to wait and see exactly what they do. But some of you know what they are going to do already. You have read the book hey!
I keep hearing lots of silly things said.
There is a much bigger picture. A much bigger picture. Bigger than politics or the economy. Bigger than shares, pensions, inflation, the housing market or any trade agreements.
There are much bigger issues ahead. Three major entities have been under scrutiny and now the stage is lit up. The scene of this world is changing. The script has been sent out to billions of people in over 2,500 languages.
Nothing is guaranteed except…those who love right and are peaceable….and the beautiful earth. The righteous / meek / mild-tempered ones will inherit the earth. No one will make them tremble. You will dwell in security. The human family have a mandate – to make this entire earth a paradise, to take care of earth’s creatures so that they thrive.
If you love good, if you love peace, do not get involved with any propaganda. Do not get involved with any violence. Do not be misled.
I learnt something nifty from another blogger and I am going to try it out myself in this post.
I have decided that I want to make a few little changes simply so that I can feel a little more in control of my life. That might sound like a strange goal. But 2020 has just been …yeah. I am sure I am not the only one who feels as if they have lost control…finds it hard to plan…has felt a bit discombobulated by the changes in routine and loss of what traditionally we used to provide structure to our week…to our lives.
I have been busy with work for most of the time, but I have felt myself losing grips of the things I love doing. I have had flurries…walks, outside picnics…recently seeing my family in the north. But I have been more tired because of the crazy work hours. When I have been tired, I have decided I needed to rest more. I gave in to comfort eating. I was not out in the fresh air as often. I ended up watching travel shows (Pole To Pole, The Greek Islands with Julia Bradbury, Simon Reeves travel shows)
Last week I started pulling out some of my winter clothes. Uh! They all felt tight. 😦 That’s not good. So…I am going to be a bit strict with myself. Some of that will be watching the calories, but most of it will be making sure I am going for more walks, more frequently. Jack should tell me when I am putting weight on. He should not leave it for my wardrobe to tell me that!
The IMAGE COMPARE block below shows you the plan. Can you see the little white circle with a < > on the right side of the picture. Drag it over to the left to see what I am aiming for!
At last I found one thing I like about this new block editor….before and after technology. I could have a lot of fun with this block!
When your anxieties are weighing your heart down – let them go. Float above the world and it’s worries. Keep your eyes on the horizon, a new dawn ahead. Don’t let nightmares quell your hope. Dream of a brighter better future where we know real joy.
Change can be frightening. But with so many making it clear that they are desperate for change, changes may well follow. Keep focused on good.
I keep on thinking about this time last year. I was pretty lost. It was towards the end of January, the beginning of February that I was really wondering why I felt so sick all the time and made an appointment to see a Doctor.
Anyway…the reason I mention it is that I am amazed at the drastic change in my life. I never expected Jack to make contact like he did last September. Sometimes as I live my life and it takes the oddest turns and changes in direction, I wonder where on earth I am going to end up.
But I have learnt not to be overly anxious. The journey itself is sometimes riveting. I learn so much along the way. I meet other fascinating travellers journeying through life. The scenic views are rewarding. The sense of accomplishment, the “look how far I have come!” sensation and the wonder at what the road ahead will hold.
Sometimes things might be going in a direction that concerns you. You may feel you have little control. But do what you know is good, kind, loving. It is amazing at how a situation can be reversed, sometimes very suddenly.
I am glad that Jack came back to find me. I love journeying along this road of life with him.
Caramel 