Oooops!

I accidentally let slip something I had been trying so hard to keep a secret from Jack. Not that we keep secret from each other. But sometimes, as I am sure you will agree, there is no need to mention something.

Jack has taken an interest in a show available on BBC i-player. I believe it is also broadcast at some obscure time of night. It is Celebrity Apprentice Australia – a series with Lord Sugar himself at the wheel.

He started watching it on his own, and was so keen on it, he got me to watch it with him. I was quite keen on seeing how The Veronicas got on. They were the only people I recognized, other than Lord Sugar.

I am not really a fan of The Apprentice. Too much unlikeable behaviour from the candidates, but Jack seems to enjoy it. I have been watching it with him, because I like curling up with Jack.

So, what is the secret I had been hiding? Well….early on when Jack first made encouraged me to watch it with him, I goggled “Australia Apprentice” simply because I had no idea who the contestants were. I ended up reading all about the series, and found out who won each episode and who was fired.

This is not the first time I have done something like this. My sisters and my friends would tell you many stories. But I don’t blab. I keep the secret to myself. For some reason, it helps me to enjoy something like this series more. I cannot bear the tension. I find it much more enjoyable when I know who is going to win/lose.

Jack asked me late last night if we could watch the final together when it was going to be broadcast on the BBC. Something like midnight. I pulled a face. I needed to sleep. His face – he was so excited about seeing the final. He kept on trying to convince me to stay up and watch it. He said to me:

“Don’t you want to know who wins?”

Uh-oh!!!! It had to come up, and I am blaming tiredness and being sleep deprived for this….it had to slip out…

“I already know who wins.”

“What! What do you mean you know who wins? It’s the final tonight!”

“Yes, but I already know who the winner is.”

“How???”

“Well….erm, I accidentally read it somewhere online.”

“Accidentally read it?”

“Well, “accidentally” is probably not the right word.”

When I came clean, Jack looked thoroughly shocked that for six weeks I had know the results of each episode and had managed to keep it a secret. I did not say anything because I did not want to ruin it for him.

Oooops!

Thank You Australia!

I was very surprised to open my email inbox and to find….wait for this….

…the Australian government have granted me a visa!!! Wow!

I am slightly confused I will admit. I applied in March 2020. Yes, I know! I had already bought my tickets in February 2020….and then I applied for my visa….and then….nothing.

I was watching the news, the news was telling us that Australia were shutting their borders….the news was that England was going into Lockdown One. It was all a blur. Of course my airline tickets were totally refunded in the end.

But oh how I broke my heart over not being able to see my Goldfinch. I know when I say something like that, some people become rather confused and ask me what on earth I mean. It is complicated!!! It was complicated!!!

I had spent the happiest summer of my life with Goldfinch in the summer of 2019. I had only been going out with Jack for a few months when I made the decision to visit Goldfinch because….well….because. I have my reasons. There was a lot of emotion.

Somebody told me at one point that the entire Pandemic was my fault – that the universe was working against my decision. But I don’t find that either funny or any sense. I don’t. It just happened that I like everyone else never imagined that our plans and lifestyle could be thrown in the air because of such a dangerous invisible enemy.

Oh my. It feels very odd to be granted a visa for Australia now….now I am set to marry Jack….now I am well, you know… Oh sigh….it makes my heart go all wobbley.

Jack Performed A Miracle!

Two years ago, I came back from Australia and found that all of the photographs I had taken with my tablet had vanished from the camera files – yesterday, Jack somehow found them.

Breathe. Yes, it is true. I was so broken hearted when my photographs just were not there. They were not there. I checked and re-checked, and cried and cried again. None of my photographs from my summer with Goldfinch. I had one picture, of his kitchen, of a cake I made. That’s all I had.

A year later I planned to return to Australia and determined that I could not travel to the other side of the planet and be without a single photograph, I bought myself a camera as I no longer trusted my tablet. Of course, it was impossible for me to travel last year as Australia closed it’s borders due to the threat of Covid-19. I know that decision was made to protect the citizens of Australia – but honestly, it was a huge blow to my heart.

Of course, I am not really sure why I was going out the visit Goldfinch again when I was in a relationship with Jack. But one of the reasons was the loss of all of those photographs. I seemed to need some sort of proof that I had travelled across the world to see the man I loved, the father of my little apricot. Many of my photos were kangaroos, koalas, kookaburras, bandicoots, trees, hills, birds, public buildings in Adelaide’s centre, art in galleries, and some were of Goldfinch and myself. It was hard to lose all of it. I think I was prepared to travel all the way back there in the hopes of collecting lots more photos and videos – that would help me to enjoy special memories forever.

My tablet is on it’s last legs. I hardly ever use it anymore. Jack was playing around with it at the weekend because he was trying to forward emails from my inbox. He said he had downloaded some files onto my tablet and could not find them. He started messing around with the settings of the tablet and doing things that I cannot understand. As he was searching for the files he wanted, he came across some pictures of Goldfinch and me. He showed them to me, and said that I looked very happy.

I could not believe my eyes!! I could not believe what I was seeing. There were over a hundred photographs that I had taken when I was out in Adelaide, and videos too.

I cannot understand it! I cannot believe it! But they are there. Jack helped me to blue-tooth them on to my laptop. Then we sat together and looked at them together. They bring back so many deeply happy memories. I can’t explain my joy. I am so immensely grateful to Jack. He has somehow miraculously resurrected photographs that I thought were lost forever.

It might not seem that big a deal, but to me, it’s such a huge gain. I am just blown away that two years after I cried my heart out believing those photographs were all gone, Jack has somehow restored them.

This may sound silly, and of course, it is all probably because I know nothing about technology – but if does feel as if Jack has performed a miracle. He gave me back something I thought was gone forever. He gave me back my special memories with Goldfinch in Australia. The ironic thing is, the way it happened. It ended up with me curled up in Jack’s arms, tears streaming down my face, and him kissing me because he could see how much it meant to me. If I had never lost those photos, perhaps I would have been tempted to keep them from Jack, and enjoy those memories in private. But now…well, it has brought me closer to Jack, made me more grateful to him…that he has brought these photos back and is sharing them with me.

Mr Portillo, If You Are Reading This…

I forgot to tell you…I was walking to work recently, when I realized that Michael Portillo was walking towards me.

Three things went through my mind. The first thing I noticed is that he was wearing pinky red trousers. The second thing I noticed was that he seemed shorter than I am, although Wikipedia claims he is three inches taller than I am. I guess I was walking down hill and he was walking up hill, so he may have seemed shorter at the time.

Anyway, I have no connection with human politics, but I have watched Mr Portillo present some travel programs including one where he travelled in Australia – heart skips a beat.

For a split second I wondered if I should say “Hello, I have enjoyed your travel programs”. But I didn’t. Partly because I was rushing on my way to work, and partly because there were a number of people walking up the hill. It seemed quite a crowded section of the high street. It doesn’t seem clever during social distancing to go greeting people I don’t even know in the middle of a crowded part of London.

But Mr Portillo, if you are reading this, I just wanted to say, I genuinely have enjoyed some of your travel programs, especially when you were over in Australia. I would have liked to have seen more. Perhaps if you go back, you could explore Adelaide.

I Lost My Holiday Snaps

Last year I travelled 10,100 miles to spend summer (or winter in Australia) with Goldfinch. I loved every moment.

However, something awful happened. My tablet did not work properly. I lost all of my photographs. I was absolutely gutted!

Ever since then, my life has taken a course that has meant it would be unlikely that I would be heading back to Adelaide with a camera. But things change. Things happen. Life throws up surprises.

Anyway…before I do anything, I need to get myself a camera that works. A couple of my friends have offered to lend me cameras, but they are too fancy, I would be terrified to break them or lose them. Nope, I am going to have to shell out for a camera myself.

Why I Could Never Be A Travel Blogger

Loving every moment of being here with Goldfinch. So glad I am finally here! I have been taking lots of photos and writing own little thoughts in my notebook to formulate into posts later. I wonder if anyone is thinking, “COME ON CARAMEL…WHERE ARE THE HOLIDAY PHOTOS? WE WANT TO SEE ADELAIDE!” Or maybe that thought is about as far from your mind as I am from London right now. 10,100 miles away!!!

Well, I regret to tell you I think they are going to have to wait until I am back in England.  I will need to blue-tooth them to my laptop and then create posts with the photos. I am a bit of a technophobe at the best of times, and I cannot figure out how to create a post on my tablet with photos on my tablet. I am sure there is a way…but it is beyond me!

On three occasions in recent weeks I had to explain what a Luddite was to staff who were trying to advise me on “issues” with my phone and my laptop. Two were PC World advisers and one was a Vodafone adviser. They had never heard of the term “Luddite”. When I explained who the original Luddites were, I then had to reassure them that when I called myself a Luddite I was joking, I don’t actually try to destroy technology…it’s never in anger, but always an accident when I drown, drop or destroy by other means my electronic devices.

I Give Up!!!

It’s been a very busy week so far…and I am finding I have not had chance to concentrate on some of the posts in my drafts folder I wanted to finish off before my travels.

This post is just to explain that I have started a number of posts which are nominations from other lovely bloggers for awards and challenges. I love these posts, but as you all know, they do take a while. I want to do them justice as it were. So I have decided I just can’t do them before I go away to Australia.

They are going to have to sit safely in my drafts folder until I am back. Then I shall make sure I spend some quality time on them.

Very soon I will be heading far far away! 10,100 miles away! The opposite side of the planet! The land down under! Australia! You may already be fed up with hearing this over and over. Don’t worry, I will leave it there for now.

I have scheduled a post for every day before I travel…and then I am re-publishing most of my Goldfinch posts. So if you have seen them before, you can skip them, or if you are curious, they tell the story of the lovely year I had last year with Goldfinch.

Isn’t it exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can’t believe I am going! Six months after Goldfinch left England, I am on my way to Australia! Thank you thank you thank you for all of your wonderful comments and well-wishes. It is so heart-warming.

Yipppeeeeee!!!!!!

I booked my ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Australia – here I come! I booked my travel insurance and all I need now is a visa.

I am so excited!!!!!! Can you tell?

Goldfinch called me around two o’clock in the morning last night and he said it would be wise to book my tickets before the price went up any more. So I did! Yippee!!!!!!!!

 

 

Take Good Care Of My Baby

It is 11.30pm on Friday 26th January 2019 here in London. That means it is 10.30am on Saturday January 2019 in Melbourne, Australia. How do I do I know this?

 

Well…you know that invisible string that is tied to my heart at one end and at the other end is tied firmly to Goldfinch’s ribcage – it is telling me that he is in his element this weekend. A boardgame convention – role-playing and empire building and all sorts of games that could go on not just for hours, but technically for days and days.

Now…if you are going to be there and you end up playing against my Goldfinch – then play nice! He is very wonderful. So make sure he has the best time please.

And…buy him drink for me. Go on spoil him like he deserves it – because he is rather gorgeous. Take good care of my baby.

 

(I know this is a song about a woman – but imagine I am singing it about a man 🙂 )

 

 

 

Is Once A Week Enough To Satisfy Him And Me?

How often is too often? Is once a week enough? It’s nowhere near enough for me. But I am worried that even just once a week might be too much for him. I don’t want him to feel I am demanding! But I could easily be at it every evening as soon as I came home from work, if only he would not become weary of me. What do you think?

How many e-mails can I really send to Goldfinch without becoming annoying? Because I really really don’t him to find me annoying!

I would more than happily send him a long e-mail every day or several shorter ones. But I don’t think he wants that. I think it would quickly become a chore to him to read my messages.

I already know he is going to be an abysmal penpal – I made him promise that at least once every six months he will send me a line to let me know he is alive! But in truth, I am longing to hear from him more often. Longing! Longing to hear a little about his time with his parents and siblings during the holidays, his move back into his house – which he will have to share with some of his tenants – and his new job.

I also want to know about how he his spending his Australian summer. Is he out walking along the Sturt Gorge? Is he taking photographs? Will he send me some pictures so I can picture him?

Is he visiting all the places near home that he loves? Is he glad to be back with the familiar? Is he glad to be back with Australian shops and flavours? Does he miss England at all? Well, not the weather of course. Does he love not having to put on lots of layers of clothing?

Is he soaking up the sunshine? Does he go down to the beach? If he does, who does he go with? Is he wearing his thongs – which is what he calls flip-flops – that always made me giggle. He packed his thongs in his hand luggage don’t you know!

Did his extra suitcase that he had to send via freight arrive safely? Is he meeting up with other gamers (board games not gambling)? Is he spending lots of time with his son? Did ever I mention Goldfinch has a son? It is his son’s birthday soon. Is he catching up with friends?

Is he meeting pretty women and inviting them out for a drink? Has he heard from other friends in England as often or more often as he is hearing from me? Does he have a car yet? Did he buy crystal for his sister as a Christmas gift? Did she give him cheese?

Does he have any idea how much I miss him? Is there an address where I can post a hand-written letter or send him a gift?

I have been asked out by a Doctor I used to work with. I told him it was much too soon. How does Goldfinch feel? When will it feel like the right time? Sooner for him than for me I am sure.

I have also been asked by my ex if I will meet him for lunch after the holidays (a short and sweet relationship that did not work because he lives for money and all it buys and I don’t…he only liked me for physical reasons and I was not happy, he made me very uncomfortable actually). I think I might go for lunch with him, because I know nothing is going to stir up any feelings for him within me. He is the polar opposite of the kind of man who makes me feel nice inside. But he has always been fairly good with practical advice. He has a very sharp mind.

When I was in North Wales, I was chatting to a lovely bloke who sadly lost his wife to illness around four years ago. I have not seen him for around six years. But we chatted together for a couple of hours and he asked for my number. I want to talk to Goldfinch and ask his advice on everything.

But I don’t want to be a burden to him – ever. That’s one of the reasons why I didn’t beg him to stay. Because I would have become a burden to him with my head injuries.

I love him don’t you know! Does he really have any idea how much I love him? I don’t feel once enough is ever going to be enough to satisfy me. But I am worried, I don’t want it to be too often for him.