How do you reach another person’s heart? In this case, I don’t mean romantically. Rather, to move a person to action. Why should someone else listen to you? Who made you the fountain of all knowledge?
Parents, teachers, gurus, advisers, counsellors… do not always have an easy task! It can involve a great deal of patience. All of the knowledge, experience, insight that you have acquired and are now trying to impart to a child, student, disciple, client or patient. It may seem to go in one of their ears, and faster than the speed of light, it fleas straight out of the other ear.
Sigh!
At the end of the day…no matter how much you might try, it is up to an individual whether they listen, whether they heed, whether they apply all the well-meant advice and guidance offered. Each person has to make their own decisions and live with the consequences. It can be painful to watch at times.
I have done a little teaching. I often remembered a phrase which I heard from my parents many times. As the title of this post indicates:
People Don’t Really Care How Much You Know…
Until They Know How Much You Care
I thought about that a lot. I know it was true in my own case. I heeded the advice of those I was convinced truly cared about my long lasting welfare.
I have family and friends who have many academic accomplishments under their belt. However, at times, they seem to want to lecture us on a series of topics that are of very little interest to us. We do not debate that they are clearly very knowledgeable on these subjects. However, it is difficult to endure a lecture on a subject that bears little relevance on your life.
Without sounding overly sceptical, I have reached an age where I can see that advice on everything from diet, vitamins, finances, health can change from year to year. I am a lot more cautious and shrewd in general.
No matter how clever you might be, the truth often is, people don’t really care!
Unless…they know that you really care.
When someone is trying to teach me, train me, move me to change something or prompt me to action..what really touches my heart is seeing a glimpse of their heart. When they put their heart, their conviction into their words. When they skilfully help me to see the true value, the benefit of their advice. When they are undoubtedly sincere, genuine and disinterested in their motives. It is so much easier to swallow their goading, even if initially it is unwelcome.
Advice reaches my heart when I am sure that they truly do care. They might not be voicing exactly what I would like to hear. Even if sounds perfectly reasonable and is delivered with polished eloquence, I may chafe against the counsel to begin with. Sometimes my own heart wants to lead me in a very different direction. But at they end of the day, I am won over by realizing I am loved. Someone cares enough to point out to me that I need to make a change or take an action that might be uncomfortable to me. I am grateful for that level of concern. Eventually I see the evidence of genuine care.
I have to make my own decisions. I have to live with those decisions. I have to be happy with my decisions. If I regret my decision, it is wise to admit that and make a change. I am more than happy to listen to the opinions of others. But what sways me is not just how clever they seem, but the combination of how caring and concerned and convinced they are.
So whenever I am in a role where I have to offer advice…I try to keep that phrase to the forefront of my mind:
People Don’t Really Care How Much You Know…
Until They Know How Much You Care
I am going to admit to you… I am so tired my head feels numb, so I don’t think I explained that very well… but you do know what I mean don’t you?
At times like this (you know the C-word is on everyone’s mind), I believe it is important for people to listen to the advice from authorities and be obedient to advice and instructions.
Over the past few years, we have made a number of changes that now seem very fortuitous. That means that we can continue with all of our training programmes. But now volunteers will not gather in an arena, they will watch the program either live or when it is convenient to them from the comfort of their homes as the training is broadcast to them. In addition to the training, there will be some very encouraging reports and a little entertainment included in the programmes to keep the spirits of our volunteers up while they are unable to work together face to face.
But we will make sure that we do everything we can to care for those who have given of themselves, their time and resources for years, even decades. They have shown enormous love to us, and we are going to make sure we show them how we feel about them. We don’t want to lose a single soul.
I used to love bubble gum. When I was at primary school, it was so popular. We used to trade different bubble gum flavours. We used to blow huge bubbles with it. It was fun!
And I do find it odd when people are chewing gum during a professional or important event. I have seen a bride and groom chewing gum all the way through their wedding service.
After I was the victim of a crime, I had some pretty bad injuries to recover from physically and emotionally. Several people helped me realize there was no rush to get better. Healing takes time. They said to me:
Dress up! I can be casual at home, on my own, any time I want to. I wear casual clothes when I am cleaning or gardening. Going out is always a chance to dress up.
We were caring for Abigail, a wonderful woman who was almost one hundred years of age and had been affected by Alzheimer’s disease for the previous ten years. She was a very special lady. The whole care team were absolutely devoted to her, but especially the most experienced of our carers (Penny – who everyone called “Matron”) I must write about both Abigail and Penny.
In October 2012 Abigail started to deteriorate rapidly. The number of patients had doubled in the past few weeks and I was having to train new carers to use equipment they had never seen before. We needed everyone to do extra hours to help with the round the clock support needed. I was with Abigail when she took her last breath.
Penny, our most experienced carer had come down with a cold just after Abigail’s death, so she had not been involved with Catrina’s care. We were all concentrating on Catrina so much, none of us had stopped to think about how many days of work Penny had missed. Penny had been sending us text messages to encourage us, because she knew we were in a very demanding situation and that emotions were wrought.
Aaaaaaaah! Those were some of the most demanding and heart-breaking months of my working life. I did feel I was stretched almost to breaking point. Just after we lost Penny, Jack moved into the flat I was living in and started to play strange games with me. Maybe if I had not been so exhausted emotionally I would have been able to cope better with Jack.
I won trophies as a child. I don’t have them with me. Swimming galas and maths contests mainly.
If it’s an ordinary day, my hand-bag because it is full of really useful things that would help you to survive an “ordinary” in London. Everything from purse, keys, phone, umbrella, lip gloss, perfume atomiser, hair clip, nail file, pocket tissues..
I prefer a paper book in my hands rather than an electronic device, but there is no point being parochial about this. Or would you rather we were still reading from clay tablets or perhaps scrolls made of animal hides or papyrus?
For centuries people used scrolls…and then some clever chap had a brain wave and the codex was born. We are still using the codex two thousand years later!
But then boom – came the printing press and the modern world has never been the same. Information was able to spread faster than ever before!
The developments in printing presses are astonishing! I have toured a Man Roland Lithoman printing press several times and observed it in action, printing over one hundred thousand full colour magazines per hour! I have lots of friends who work in printing, and I have been able to tour various printing operations.
But the cost of paper and the concern for the environment has effected the printing industry. In addition…boom – came the internet!
I know all the ins and outs of Twickenham Rugby Stadium like the back of my hand, having worked at various functions over the years
I have been a vegetarian since I was six years of age
I used to open Robbie Williams’ fan mail
That has changed a lot. I was working in healthcare and I had to read a huge amount of training books and manuals to keep myself updated. I had to keep a record of my reading and I still have it. Here is a friendly looking training booklet. A lot of what I have read was rather grim.
I still do so regularly. I write handwritten letters to family, friends and Goldfinch. The last handwritten letter I posted was on Thursday.
Yes…I love cursive handwriting. Reading and writing in it.
At one stage when I was living in a town with lots of families, I was shocked at how many front doors were covered with eggs. flour, paint, soil the day after Halloween. One year some youths demolished all of the drain pipes on the terraces houses in one street and vandalised every single car. There was a community project to build a flower garden for people to go and relax in. One Halloween a gang completely destroyed it, trampling all the plants and setting fire to the benches. When I lived in that town, I decided to just go away for a holiday to 
escape the terror. It was too disturbing.
I find all sorts of cultures and traditions fascinating, but Halloween has had me baffled since I realized what goes on that night. I don’t understand how people could be so cruel. I just don’t understand Halloween. Neither the encyclopedia explanation of how it originated nor the acts of terror carried out against people. The only tradition I have had is helping older neighbours to clean up all the mess the day after Halloween and debating what to report to the police.
I can only guess that America celebrate some kind of Disney-fied version of Halloween because otherwise how could it be so popular? Unless you don’t like cats or your neighbours? I am guessing Halloween in America is all candy and pie and “harmless fun” and fancy dress parties and watching creepy movies. That is not what I have seen of it in the areas it is popular here. I think that is what retail chains are trying to promote. That just about sums up a lot of holidays now…a big commercial bonanza.
I love ironing! Love it!
Hmm…how about don’t go to the park on your own…!!! Yikes! I mean how many times have I lectured friends when they have first moved to London on their personal security? Then I completely lost my senses and put myself in a dangerous situation…and well, as I have mentioned on numerous occasions, I woke up the next morning in an ambulance on my way to hospital!
I guess walking in the woods with friends (especially Goldfinch) and seeing the pretty colours of the trees and then after being outside in the crisp air, heading back somewhere warm for a huge cuppa and some hot buttered toast….if it is really chilly, throw in a steaming hot bowl of soup – yum!
I have a few favourite movies, but there is one which lingers with me as absolutely brilliant. The film is “La Vita E Bella” (“Life Is Beautiful”).
Well it all started with this:
Two things…coming into contact with some wonderful bloggers who produce remarkable stories, poems and some very inspirational personal accounts.
“You whom I have supported from birth and carried from the womb.
I love these words…because people are alarmed at world affairs today, alarmed at who has been entrusted with authority, alarmed at the state of the oceans and the air we breathe, alarmed at the disregard for the human suffering and the scale of injustice and abuse, that are frankly disturbing. But to know the Creator states, He will not be stopped, nobody and nothing in the universe can prevent Him from accomplishing His original purpose for this earth and for humans. To me, there is an amazing sense of power and purpose in those words that is comforting in this incredibly upside down, inside out world.
You need other bloggers!
Caramel 