An Eggstremely Belated Apology

I was in bed when I heard a noise as if something was being pushed under my door. Sure enough, once I had turned the lamp on, I saw an envelope had been pushed under my door.

Intrigued though I was, I was so exhausted I did not stir to go and look at it.  I just left it there and drifted off back to sleep.


The next thing I knew my mobile phone was making a low buzzing noise.  I ignored it.  It was Sunday morning…my morning for a sleepy start to the day.  But my mobile phone kept on buzzing away and out of a half open eye I saw it was gradually crawling across the table next to my bed.  Remind me not to leave it on discreet mode, but just to turn it off on table

Out of annoyance I grabbed my phone and saw there were several missed calls and a few text messages in my inbox.

All the messages were from the same person.  Ugh!  What could he possibly want now?  I could not make sense of some of his messages and then it dawned on me that they must be referring to something he had written in what ever was inside the envelope, the envelope that had been pushed under my door the night before.

I picked up the envelope and opened it and cast my eyes over the note inside.  Aaaah, he wanted to meet me for breakfast at Maison St Cassion.  I felt a mix of dread, elation and curiosity.  Only he could have that effect on me.  Only he could insult me and then make me agree to meet him for breakfast the next day.

I texted him immediately and explained I was running late but would meet him for a late breakfast.

blue dressI jumped into the shower and threw on a summery dress I could feel relaxed in and sandals.  I was determined not to make too much effort for him, so I clipped my hair up untidily.  I found myself rushing even though I wanted to keep him waiting.  I was hurt by last night, but so excited I would be with him again.  No make-up I decided.  Yet just before I stepped inside the brasserie he had chosen for us to have breakfast together I doused myself with perfume.

I was annoyed with myself at the way I smiled when I saw him…I was more annoyed with him that he smiled at me when he laid eyes on me.  I kept on reminding myself that I should not make this easy for him. He had been totally out of order the night before.

breakfastAs I sat down at the table opposite him I asked him what it was he wanted to talk about.  But before he had chance to begin his answer a waiter appeared with various small dishes.  “I ordered for us” he grinned.  I laughed inside.  This was him all over.  I can just imagine how hungry he must have been waiting for me to arrive.  He had ordered what I would describe as a Turkish or perhaps Lebonese feast for breakfast.

Then he did something else that was very typically him.  He took out his phone and started taking photos of our breakfast, which I was sure he would be posting onto Instagram.

There was a tiny part of me that felt an irritated impatience with him…but for the most part I loved it.  Isn’t it funny how when you are in love with someone, even little annoying habits can become incredibly endearing and adorable to you?

I let him finish and then when he finally put his phone back in his pocket, I looked at him squarely in the eyes and asked him “Why am I here?”

I think I owe you an apology Mel“.

I was surprised but delighted.  Of course he owed me an apology.  I just could not believe he was about to offer me one, when normally he seemed so thoughtless and ignorant.

Do you mean because of last night?

His brow creased into a puzzled expression, “Last night?  Didn’t you enjoy the party?  I thought it was super.  Mel…I own you an apology because I stole all your eggs.”

My eggs?“…I was baffled!

Well, yeah, Ella (one of our flatmates) told me when I asked her why you had not baked any cake for us this week, that you could not make one because I had stolen all your eggs.  I thought the least I could do was treat you to breakfast to say sorry.”

You are apologising for taking my eggs.  But you have been taking my eggs, my tea-bags, my milk, my coffee…pretty much anything I have not nailed to the inside of my kitchen cupboard for months and months, ever since you moved into the flat.

He threw back his head and started guffawing.  “Too true, too true…noone knows me better than you do Mel!”

So, you regret taking my eggs because I did not make a cake last week?”  My tone must have been rather stern because the grin on his face suddenly vanished.

Mel…” and quite suddenly he shot his hand out across the table and grabbed my hand.  I could not look up, I felt a few tears hovering on my eye-lids.  I wondered if he had any idea how hurt I had been the night before.  Probably not?  But somehow feeling his hand wrapped around mine, nothing mattered any more.  Nothing mattered except that he never let go of my hand.

That was the last time I went a week without making any cake for him.  I would do anything for him, even though his words hurt me, the way he mocked me in front of his friends and colleagues.  There was nothing I would not do for him…to feel his love.

The Resplendent Mws R Has Nominated Me For The Sunshine Blogger Award

sunshine blogger

A great big thank you to Mws R Mws R the resplendent creator of the beautiful blog-site Mws R Writings who has kindly nominated me for The Sunshine Blogger Award, as you can see from her brilliant post below:

The Rules…

  • Thank your nominator.
  • Link or ping the post back to them.
  • Display the picture on your post.
  • Answer their questions.
  • Provide questions for the nominated people you choose.


The questions from Mws R Mws R:

1. What makes you cry?

Friends have given me all sorts of tips on how to avoid tears when I am chopping onions, but they don’t seem to work for me.

I try not to think about it because it totally overwhelmed me, but I am terrified I might not make it back to my home on the other side of London where my career , my closest friends, my furniture and clothes – in short my world is.  The thought that I might never make it back there quickly causes me to break down in tears and become an inconsolable blubbering wreck.  So I don’t let myself dwell on it.

2. What gives you joy?

So many things…it’s impossible to begin to list them.  Definitely creation…I love spending time outdoors walking and finding little pockets of paradise.

My family…my friends…working hard…walking hand in hand with Goldfinch.

I could never ever get bored of life…so many reasons for joy!

3. What is your favourite book and why?

persuasion     Les Mis     the count of monte cristo

If we are talking about novels, these are my favourite three.  I must admit I am far more comfortable with classic novels in general and I am happy to read my favourites over and over again.

4. Who is your hero and why?

window cleanerIt has to me my Dadda…the best window-cleaner in my home-town!  He is my hero for many reasons…

He taught me how to climb trees, how to do acrobatics at the playground, and he would patiently sit with me teaching me to read.  He made sure an endless flow of books appeared from local charity shops – all of my books had 5p marked in the top corner.

I thought it very strange that he was teaching me O’ Level Maths (for 15/16 years old students) when I was five years of age.  He wanted us to be good at maths because he had finished school at 14 without taking any exams and he had always wanted a maths qualification.  At the age of fifty-five he did actually go to a night school class so that he could finally sit a GCSE Maths exam.  Despite this, he was a faithful and diligent accountant for a local charity for over thirty years.  (I ended up winning maths competitions for my school, after the early training my Dadda had given me.)

That touches on the qualities that I respect so much about my Dadda – he is faithful, reliable, diligent, hard-working.  He is cheerful, kind and he likes to sing around the house.  He has had challenges to overcome, but he has never let them beat him…he fights any negative thinking and makes sure he dwells on all that is wonderful about life and he gets outside and does what he needs to do.

At the age of seventy he is as fit as a fiddle – still does a bit of window-cleaning so he can take mum abroad for a holiday every now and then.  He goes to the gym three times a week and he has the blessing of being able to eat pretty much anything he wants and can get away with it.  I have seen him eat an entire family sized trifle all by himself after a long day of window-cleaning.  He likes to have a cup of tea every hour on the hour.

I have written about him in a couple of other posts, but there is a lot more to tell about my amazing Daddda:

5. Favourite food?

thaiI love variety.  My favourites change all the time.  I love pretty much anything sweet, but I am preferring savoury flavours.  I have always loved Italian food.

Goldfinch loves Thai food, so I am trying lots of Thai dishes recently – yum yum yum.

I love trying new dishes and combinations of flavours…so long as they are vegetarian.

6. Your reason for blogging?

love letterStuart, from Croydon, was the one who made me take the plunge and start posting some of my short stories and a poem I wrote over twenty years ago.  There is a story there, but I am not willing to share it. He is someone who helped me out through a rough time.  Let’s just say Stuart is someone I care for a lot, and I really hope he knows that.  No…there will not be a post about Stuart. Yet in a funny way, I would like him to know I am still inspired by him.

I have been writing long letters to friends and family for years so I am in the habit of putting my thoughts onto paper…or now onto the screen.

My reason now, is simply that I am enjoying it very much!  It is much more fun than I realized it would be.

7.Your favourite movie and why?

finding nemo          la vita e bella         the sound of music

I have three favourites…I think I may have referred to two of them in other posts, but the middle one La Vita E Bella (Life Is Beautiful) is incredible.  You might not like musicals or cartoons, but if you like amazing cinematography and production…please watch this film.

8. What is your favourite number?

Oooooh, I have never thought about having a favourite number.

I have never played bingo, but I find it really hard to say the number 88 without saying first “Two Fat Ladies” – it just makes me laugh.

I do the same with “Tickety-Boo 62” and “Clickety Click 66”.

Wierd – hey?  I think it must be because my nanna (Dad’s mum) used to play Bingo.

9. One thing you have learned about life?

Life is like…a box of chocolates???  A lot of truth in that one…

Be good, be kind, be lovely…

Learn to love…or life can be pretty miserable…

You are not alone!

10. What would you say to your younger self?

Listen to your Mumma and Dadda!

11. One thing you’d change about the world and why?

The way it is ruled…I mean let’s be perfectly honest, the way is is governed is not working…has not been working for a very very long time.  They might be trying their best…(or not in some cases) but it’s quite clear that they lack the wisdom and power and very often the integrity to make sure that every single human has what is needed for an adequate standard of life.

The economic extremes that are allowed are preposterous and shameful.  We live on the most incredibly beautiful planet and yet we are not really living in harmony with it and not caring for it the way tenants are expected to look after a property.  I do believe that people want an end to pollution, an end to all sorts of other things that have marred human history: war, crime and a long list of other terrible things.  But we need help.  We need guidance.  We are like little children who simply do not understand the mess we are making.


My Nominees:


My Questions To You:


Thank you again to Mws R Mws R for including me in her nominations.

I hope the three bloggers I have nominated enjoy this challenge as much as I have!  Thank you for all of your support and encouragement along the way!

via Resplendent — Word of the Day Challenge

Have I Not Always Wanted To Travel To South America?

Uncomplicated Love

I remember walking with him hand in hand, sauntering at a gentle pace through the woods down near where I live, just a week or so after I met him.  I think I was at risk of frightening him after that first weekend by throwing a few too many curve-ball questions at him.  I was just eager to get to know him.  I think I already knew beholding this fine specimen of a male of the species in all his splendour, there was a huge possibility I was going to fall very much in love.

I have mentioned in other posts that Goldfinch will be leaving England in less than four months time.  I have known since I met him in October last year that he was only here on a temporary basis.  I probably didn’t need to launch to many intrusive questions at him so early on.



He was very good with me.  He told me a lot more than I had any right to ask so early on. But he did remind me that he would only be in England for a short time.  I remember telling him sweetly I knew…and not to worry, I was still eager to make the most of the time he was here.  He looked unconvinced.  I kissed his hand serenely and said “You and I – it’s not complicated, it’s not going to be complicated, it’s going to be lovely.”

love birds.jpgI hope that’s what it has been for him…I only want the next four months to be that for him.  Much as I would be bowled over and flattered beyond belief if he gave the slightest inkling that he would stay here in England longer for my sake, it’s not going to happen and I would not dream of pressuring him.  His parents and siblings are on the other side of the planet, his house is there, his closest friends are there.  It is his home.  I am nothing compared to what he is going back to.

I am grateful to  The Haunted Wordsmith  The Haunted Wordsmith for a picture prompt that gives me yet another excuse to write about my beloved Goldfinch.

He texted me this evening before I left to go and meet some friends for drinks by the river.  Next weekend he will take me to Bath!  Yippee!  Just in case you did not know…Bath is a stunning city in the south-west of England.  Plenty of Jane Austin links…and therefore the BBC and other production companies have filmed at various sites of Bath.  It is a world famous historical site also.

He has not been (I have been and love the city – in fact I have several good friends who live there) and he is keen to see the city.  He had suggested it a couple of weeks ago but we didn’t have time to drive there and back that day.  I think it is a very interesting and romantic place to visit.  I have only been there with my family and with friends…I would love to stroll at a leisurely pace around such a beautiful city with a man I am in love with as much as Goldfinch.  I would love to have as many beautiful weekends with Goldfinch as possible before he heads off to the other side of the planet.

It will be a wonderful way to spend a weekend with him.  I am just googling as much information as possible about restaurants and tours of Bath and how much it costs to get into the Roman Baths and the Pump Room and other famous sites of the city.

To be honest…it doesn’t matter where we go.  We go wherever Goldfinch wants to go.  Much as I love Bath and am very excited about visiting the city with the very lovely Goldfinch…I could be anywhere with him and be happy. Come December…Bath will still be there for me to visit any time I wish…Goldfinch won’t be.

It’s not complicated – just love!

via SERENELY — Word of the Day Challenge

The Haunted Wordsmith Has Tagged Me For Another Friday Funday Challenge

I have been working on this post for a whole week and decided it had to be ready for the earliest Friday.  I am going to admit, I have been tagged for two Friday Funday Challenges with questions on murder, horror and strange goings on.  An awful lot of the questions are not my cup of tea…or in some cases the question seems to be referring to something I don’t actually understand.  Think of me as Little Miss Sunshine…I don’t watch horror, I don’t dabble in the occult and if I do watch an episode of Miss Marple, I tend to change the channel as soon as the music starts to become a bit intense because I suspect something scary might be about to happen.

Nonetheless, I have made my best attempt to provide responses to the questions in this challenge.  I am also very grateful to Teresa (aka The Haunted Wordsmith) who nominated me.  She is a brilliant creative story writer and is also very supportive of other bloggers.  I love her blogsite…it’s one I pour over everyday.

I was tagged to take part in the Friday Fun Challenge by The Haunted Wordsmith  The Haunted Wordsmith  as you can see in her post below:

This is a challenge created by A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! and is all explained in a post on his site!

It is a little like musical chairs. He writes: Each Friday l will ask 19 new questions, and nominate 3 bloggers of my own who will answer 16 of my questions, but insert 3 questions of their own and answer those as well, so that they are STILL answering 19 questions.


  1. Thank the nominator
  2. Answer Q1-19
  3. Nominate three bloggers and notify them
  4. Each selected blogger must answer 16 of the 19 questions AND insert three new questions to make the 19. [hint, delete three questions you don’t like or have an answer for and replace those]
  5. Q14 and Q20 Must remain intact.

Today’s Questions:

1] If you were facing the death penalty what would be your last meal choice??

Do you think I would have any appetite if I had been given the death penalty?  I would be traumatised.

What could I possible have done to be facing the death penalty?  I am presuming it would be for something remarkable, like refusing to bear arms that had enraged the rulers of a society shaped by war-mongering political propaganda…somehow I do not see myself tucking into a roast dinner with all the trimmings, when I was going to need every ounce of courage and conviction right to the last moment!

Why else would someone serve the death penalty to Little Miss Sunshine?

2] Have you ever whispered Candyman five times in front of a mirror?

Here we arrive at the first question I suspect means something to others but nothing to me.

I am not sure why I would ever do that?  Does this mean something?  Are we talking about Roald Dahls’ “Charlie and The Factory”?

Or more this type of Candyman?

3] Should popcorn be sweet or salty?  Have you tried any unusual flavours of popcorn?

I say sweet, Goldfinch says salty.  It’s the only subject we seriously disagree on.  Although because I love him, last time we went to the cinema, we shared a box of salted popcorn.

popcorn - blue cheese

Which was very weird.

I have not tried them…yet…but I saw these and I find myself wondering what on earth they would taste like.  Just in case you can’t make out the small print – they are blue cheese and rhubarb flavoured popcorn.  The company who make them have some other rather bizarre flavours on their website.

4] What unsolved murder unsettled you the most?

I am not the type to dwell on these crimes.

I can understand why anyone would be unsettled by a crime that remained “unsolved”. Many feel strongly that their pain is prolonged until they feel “justice has been served”. There are many who long for true justice.

I dread the day the man in the park is identified by the police and the court case takes place – it will be awful.  I spent lots of time at courts when I was training to be a legal secretary and I couldn’t bear them.  It’s an event I dread taking place.

I have mentioned this in a previous post…but I don’t want to waste many of my happy thoughts on a subject as miserable as murder.  I have good reason.  When I was 13, one of my close school friends was murdered.  I used to go running with her at lunch times (when I was not playing hockey) and after school.  They found her close to a route we often ran along, close to the hospital I was born in.

5] Would you sleep inside a coffin underground for a night?

Who writes these questions?  This is another wierd one.  I could probably sleep anywhere…  I find I fall asleep pretty much as soon as I am horizontal.

If I was being asked to sleep in the coffin as some kind of dare or for some droll entertainment related purpose I would politely decline.  I don’t understand the question.  Do you think it would be a frightening thing to do because people might forget you were there and leave you trapped?  Little Miss Sunshine does not really understand this.

6] If money where no object, is there a destination on our planet that you would love to visit?

If I have to choose one place…well, I just cannot believe that after all this time I still have not visited a country that I have been enchanted by my entire life: ITALY!  I think it needs to be right up at the top of my list for many reasons.

Couple Walking on Beach at SunsetAfter we have finished building a boat, Goldfinch and I set sail away into the deep blue.

We would travel to every port and harbour and we would meet the people who lived locally, taste their cuisine, dance to their music, and explore their culture.  We would visit every land on the planet.  There would also be plenty of swimming and diving when we were out a sea.  We would walk hand in hand along many beaches watching the magnificent sunsets.  There would be no such thing as passports and visas.  Just love!!!

7] Is there a horror movie you simply could NEVER watch because of the advertising hype?

All horror movies – why would I ever want to watch one?  I like fluffy bunnies and cupcakes and rainbows and daisies… Horror movies are not my cup of tea whatsoever!

8] What is the worst nightmare you have ever experienced? – Describe.

lion portrait on blackNightmares are not my style either.  When I was very young, I used to dream about a bright blue lion that chased us and we were all hiding with our neighbour’s children from the blue lion.  One by one the lion caught them.  The only way I escaped is by walking upside on the ceiling and then climbing out onto the roof.

I sleep so very heavily that I very rarely dream.  When I do dream, well, my dreams are normally rather odd, sometimes funny.  Normally my brain is trying to make sense of something new.  Nightmares…not so much.  I have had flashbacks (of the night in the park) but they were when I was wide awake usually when something triggered a memory.

9] Are you afraid of clowns?

Am I missing the point of some of these questions?  Little Miss Sunshine has no problem with clowns.  I used to go to lots of fancy dress parties as a child dressed as a clown.


Why should I be afraid of clowns?  Is this a trick question?  I am afraid of…erm…I am not too sure…afraid of getting locked out of the house when I desperately need to “spend a penny”!

10] If you could switch your job or career – is there anything that appeals to you?

lawn mowerI have had a taste of working in several different fields. At this point, I want to avoid a desk job for as long as possible because it us so unhealthy physically for you.  I need a job where I can be active and moving around.

I think I would like to have some training in real gardening – horticulture, I think they call it?  So that I understood the difference between plants and weeds, for a start…and the multitude of other things there are to know about plants.  I would love to know how to cultivate plants of all sorts…after a few years of proper training in gardening, maybe I could move on to agriculture and farming.

When I was self-employed I did a few gardening jobs for a couple of years, but I did warn my clients I didn’t know much about plants so I needed heavy supervision.  That might sound odd, but my clients adored me and patiently guided me so that I could be useful without destroying their gardens.  I loved driving the lawn mower around the lawns of a large estate I used to work on.  I looked after their lawns for two years and became quite adept on the lawn mower.

One of my friends says I am the female equivalent of Forrest Gump!  She claims this because I am always relating the lessons my mumma and dadda taught me, because of the way I care for other people, the way I can run and run, and also because of my innocence and gullibility.  When she found out about my lawn mower experience she felt totally vindicated in her opinion.  I don’t believe I have any other similarities to Forrest Gump.

11] Of all the ways a person could commit murder which do you think is the worst? Why?

I guess there are degrees of murder according to the law are there not?  I am glad I don’t have to decide how much pre-meditation was involved, whether the perpetrator of the crime was under duress or unusual provocation, or whether the mental health of the individual means the individual was not in control of themselves. Ugh – law is fraught with complications and best manipulated by those with wealth.

For the same reason I mentioned in my answer to question four, I would rather not think about the way people carry out this crime… CLEUDO has suddenly popped into my head…

…why does that question make me think of the very end of this movie clip?

12] If you wanted me to bake you a cake…what type would it be?

lime pieNormally, I would say caramel…but as it is summer my tastes have back-flipped.  I can’t get enough of fruit at the moment.  I have almost had my fill of strawberries though.

I wonder if you could make me something nice and light but with either lemons, limes…or even grapefruit.  A real citrus feel (but not orange).  And could there be an element of crumbly biscuit within it please?  It would be nice to have a creamy texture, but I would need it to be dairy free…if that is at all possible – PLEASE.

Ask me when summer is over and I would say either a coffee cake, or a caramel anything.

13] Hanging, Injection, guilotine or firing squad what would you prefer?

Preference?  Hmm?  Which would Little Miss Sunshine prefer?  I would prefer any of these:

Hmm…I guess at school we learnt a little about how three of those methods have been used throughout history and sometimes were not quick or effective.  I can only presume that the most humane way for the execution of a criminal in lands where capital punishment is legal is an injection. I don’t know an awful lot about how modern capital punishment is carried out but I would presume it is designed to be quick and not to be a long-drawn out process.

14] Which 3 questions will you be deleting to add your own in?

3, 6, 10 and 12 – whoops I cheated again.  Do I feel guilty?  Nope!  I am Little Miss Sunshine and I am not going to feel guilty about this.

15] What time of the day is the best time to commit a murder?

Can I ask for questions about fluffy bunnies and cupcakes and rainbows and daisies please?

Why are you asking me this question?  Should I be calling the police and reporting you are asking strange questions???

As a resident of WISE (formerly known as the UK) I must inform you, we are being encouraged through national campaigns to report anyone or anything to the police…

All these questions about murder are ringing alarm bells!

16] Do you look guilty?

You are asking me all these questions about murder and then you ask me if I look guilty?

When I am guilty…yes, I look guilty.  Mum and Dad both had mopeds or motorcycles when they were younger.   They were both involved in nasty accidents and so they made it very clear they did not want any of us to develop an interest in motorcyles.  My dad told me nevermotorcycle ever ever to allow a young man to talk me into riding pinion on his motorcycle.

Dad knew I had done it because of the look on my face…because I could not make eye-contact with him.  He just knew!

I have a sensitive conscience (which I am pleased about) and so if I do something wrong, yes I am upset with myself and look guilty.  It moves me to do everything I can to put things right.  Sometimes you can’t undo what you have done…just don’t repeat that mistake.

17] Uh oh, you have witnessed a murder, and you think the killer may have seen you but you are not sure, what would you do?

I am guessing this scenario means I am now alone in the same close proximity as the killer?  Well…I press my panic button…which goes through to the local police.  Yes, I have a panic button right next to me on my bed-side table.

18] If you could save three lives by killing one, would you?

Not quite sure what kind of scenario this would refer to?  I understand the question, “Would I risk my own life if it meant saving the lives of others?”

Would I kill Larry to save Greg, Mike and Barbara?  I don’t have the authority designated upon me to choose when to terminate life.  It is not my choice to make.

Life is an extraordinary gift.  I do not have the right to take another life.  Full stop.

19] Whilst gardening the body of a neighbour is discovered in your back yard that everyone knows you had a feud with, what are you going to do to prove your innocence or?

Hug.jpgLittle Miss Sunshine does not get into feuds.  If a friend (or a neighbour) and I have a misunderstanding, I do everything I possibly can to fix it, until it ends like this:

The only unresolved situation I have ever encountered with any person who has entered my life is my ex-flatmate.  I did everything I possibly could to resolve the situation with him.  I am still on his side, despite what he did.  I love him.

The only unresolved difficulty I have ever had with another human was with my ex-flatmate:

20] The three bloggers you are nominating are?


There Is No Place On Earth I Could Go To Forget Him

I was walking back up the hill after work a short while ago, when I saw a passing car I recognised.  It used to be parked outside of our flat (or apartment – I don’t say that because it sounds “fancy-pants”).  I have been a passenger inside it a handful of times.  It was the car my ex-flatmate used to drive.  It probably was not the exact same car, but it was the same make and model and the same unusual colour.

So I have arrived home and my head is full of memories of him again.  He is like the heavy clouds hanging over me on a day that should be full of sunshine.

My life is otherwise full of sunshine.  I know it.  I have every reason to be happy. Only…every now and then I remember that without him…I’M LOST


After what had happened to me just over three years ago, my first priority was recovering from my physical injuries and the trauma of what had happened that night. Everyone said “take as long as you need”.  It’s as if everyone who knew recognised I could not be expected to get back to full speed and my normal pace within a short time. They all knew it would take time.

I don’t think any of us imagined that over three years later I would still be baffled as to how I can go back to my home and career without falling to pieces the moment I see him.

travelerSome of my family and friends asked me if I would like to travel so that I could forget what had happened and fill my mind with rich and fresh experiences.  I have loved previous opportunities to travel. There is definitely a streak of wanderlust in my personality.  I thought about it.  I have family in Africa and Central America.  I also have some very close friends in Nicaragua, Peru, Zambia and in Thailand. I would have loved to see them and to have immersed myself in a way of life that was so different, it may have completely diverted my mind’s attention.

However…I realized that wander as I may…sojourn though I might…there is absolutely no place on earth I could go to forget him.

My wanderings would only be a reflection of how very lost I was…how very lost I am…since I lost him.  I think I lost him.  I don’t really understand what happened.  He went from telling me he had never felt closer to another woman…saying he felt like a complete idiot because he was completely out of his comfort zone and knew he had hurt me…asking if we would be friends, to igniting a forest fire of rumours that blackened my name in front of colleagues and friends.

travelingAaaah – think calm thoughts!!!  I don’t want to let a passing car – which was not even his, just like his – cast a shadow on an otherwise wonderful week.

I do want to go home…as I have mentioned in other posts, I miss my friends, my colleagues, my career, my furniture, my clothes and the sentimental belongings.  But despite everything that happened, I still find I mostly miss him.  He is home.

He is my forest, my lake, my sky…he is my silver lining to all clouds that come my way.  There is nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, nowhere he will not reside in my mind and heart.

It all reminds me of a song…a song I love no matter which singer covers it, but I have a fondness for the hauntingly beautiful way Kristina Train sings.  I have no idea who owns the profile…but she is a sad little thing is she not.  Right now…thinking of my ex-flatmate…I am a sad little thing too.  But hopefully once I have cooked some dinner and caught up with my ironing, everything will be straightened out in my head and I will be a happy little bee again.

I’m wandering,

Been moving to and fro

just wandering,

With no place to go,

since I lost you,

I lost you,

all I’ll ever do be wandering,

’til I wander back to you…



Thank you again to  The Haunted Wordsmith  The Haunted Wordsmith for a beautiful picture prompt.

via Wanderlust — Word of the Day Challenge

An Ingenious New Public Transport System

Sleepy headed…

Heading for bed…

Forgive me….

The picture prompt from The Haunted Wordsmith  The Haunted Wordsmith arrived on my WordPress reader page just before I was about to leave home to go to work.  I did not have time to start this post but I have been thinking about it all day.


As soon as I saw this scene, I felt very relaxed…which is probably why staring at it now is causing me to grow so very sleepy.

It reminded me of a post I read recently by Stephen T Stephen T, the creator of Armageddon Cafe:

Sometimes, the pace of life in London (if not everywhere else in the modern world due to technology) is breathtakingly fast and often frankly exhausting.  Stephen has been on what looks like a very lovely holiday.  But in his post he mentioned something I often find a challenge myself.  Sometimes, we are so wound up with the pace and break-neck speed we have to function at, it is rather hard to relax.

Even when we physically distance ourselves from work and other demands on our time and energy…it is hard to switch off mentally and sometimes emotionally to everything that you know is waiting for you as soon as you get back.

Aaaaah!  That’s why this was a very welcome picture prompt.  It looks like a great pace to function at.  I wonder if we could all agree to slow the pace of life down?

Can we get rid of the motorways and the underground and just take a hot air balloon ride to get to the places we need?  I am sure I would start each day and end each day feeling so much better and more serene.  Perhaps we could adopt a new national transport system – hot air power (and I am sure there are more than enough people full of hot air to fuel the new transport method) and we could travel by balloon from now on.

Aaaah….bed is calling….

Even If You’re Not Sure What To Wear…Just Remember To Wear Your Smile

My new job is lovely…the other staff are lovely… the short walks to and from work are lovely.  I am a happy bunny indeed.  I am feeling so enthusiastic and energetic and eager about my new job.  My old job was draining me.

This morning I have had a feeling that I have not had before work for a very long time.  I opened my wardrobe and thought “Ugh! What am I going to wear?  I have nothing to wear?”

For the past nineteen months I have had to wear a uniform for work…thus, I never had to decide what to wear.  My wardrobe has lots of pretty dresses, most of which I bought from charity shops with the labels still on…

…and lots of clothes to wear while I am working around the house…and when I am determined to be energetic and go hiking or jogging…

But I can’t wear any of these for my new job.  I don’t have many in between clothes.  I don’t have much that is “business like”.  One pair of black trousers and one black pencil skirt.

On Sunday afternoon I went to the local charity shops (there are four within five minutes walk of where I live) and found six smart tops – I paid £20 in total.

When I am confidant that money will be flowing in on a regular basis I think I will have to set aside some of my wages and plan a shopping trip to expand my “business-like” clothing selection.

Until then I have plenty to keep me going.  Even more important than the clothes I wear for work are the way I interact with other staff and clients/customers…and being eager to learn their system.  And of course, before I even open up my mouth to say something to any of them…what makes the key difference is my SMILE!


via ENERGETIC — Word of the Day Challenge


Born Free

Many bloggers were very patient with me while I was away on my holidays.  I have shared a good deal of holiday spam with you already and long waffling accounts of my footsteps around the north of England and Wales (I am not very good at being succinct!)…but the photo prompt from The Haunted Wordsmith  The Haunted Wordsmith brought to back a place I have not shared with you yet.


Photo credit Free-Photos @

Our home town was a new town.  It was built in the 1960s as an overspill from Liverpool, although it was built in the neighbouring county of Lancashire.  The population of the town were mainly Liverpool folk moving to where there was affordable housing, although the quality of some of the construction may have been a bit dubious in places.

But the construction quality of the assortment of boxes we lived in mattered not to us – and what is a house if it is not an assortment of boxes of various sizes in which you store stuff – some useful and some useless?  We lived for the school holidays and the weekend -when we were FREE…free as the wind blows, free as the grass grows, free as the river flows…free to gallop wildly through fields and swing from the tree-tops and splash in muddy puddles.  Free for adventures of every possible variety!

Born free, as free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart

Born free, and life is worth living

Behind out house was a path that led underneath a major dual carriageway road.  Five minutes of running and we entered “The Beacon Country Park”, which was the perfect playground for us as children, our pocket of paradise, where we IMG_20180705_153625were able to run free!

I have lots of photographs, similar to the one above, of the grassy fields and trees that were our playground throughout our childhood years.  We played hide and seek, we played pirate and spy games, we had races with each other and lots of football or rugby.  We climbed trees.  This was my tree.  When I visited my home town this past month I climbed it yet again and looked out on the view of the Mersey basin.

How I would love to have a day of childhood over again…with all of my siblings and the neighbour’s children.  We would go on another of our adventures up to the Beacon and run with unbounded energy through the grassy fields and climb trees.  Aaaaah!

via Succinct — Word of the Day Challenge

The Feathered Friend Who Upset This Water Baby

Here I am chilling out with a scrummy breakfast and catching up on the last episode of “Poldark” which somehow I missed…don’t worry I won’t say a word about what happened just in case you are planning to watch it at some point.

The photo prompt from Meet The Bloggers just popped up on my screen and I thought I would take a closer look at the photo.

Share photos or stories of how you chill out

There is no doubt that for me water definitely helps me to chill out.  I am a total water baby!  My sisters and I were competition swimmers…but for the most part now swimming helps me to relax.  I had a taste of scuba diving in Turkey – extraordinary!  I would love to have the opportunity to try that again…and again and again!

I love boats.  Any kind of boat really.  Some of my friends own narrow boats which they keep moored on nearby canals.  Many a blissfully peaceful afternoon has been spent on the canal.  Other friends have sailing boats which which we have used on holidays up in the Lake District.  Or I love just hiring a rowing boat with a friend and relaxing in the middle of a lake.

Dream of a life-time: building a boat with my husband (who as of yet is an enigma and does not know I exist) and then sailing around the whole world as slowly as possible so we can get to know everyone along the way.

When I zoomed in on the middle of the photo I spotted a pelican…which sent my mind down this direction:

At the moment circumstances do not allow me to build a boat…but I still make sure I spend plenty of time near water and boats.  One of my top films of all time is “Finding Nemo” (I may have mentioned this once or twice before, but how could I resist giving it another mention with a photo prompt like this?)

Apparently, an oyster catcher is sitting on top of the boat in the photo above.  But when I first looked at it I thought it was a seagull.  Which again brought me back to “Finding Nemo“.

Seagulls are one of the few animals that I am not on the friendliest terms with.  I always found them a bit intimidating on trips to the seaside…but after we were mugged in Llandudno (in North Wales) by a gang of seagulls – they are really in my bad books.

Alright, maybe “mugged” is a bit of an exaggeration.  But they were flying into us and trying to seize our sandwiches out of hands while we were eating lunch.  We have a video of a seagull who glided in and snatched a chicken drumstick out of the hand of a friend of ours and flew down to the wooden boards of the pier and tucked into it, just a few feet away from where we were sitting.

Ha – feathered friend indeed!  More like feathered foe!  So yes…I feel totally chillaxed when I am near water…until any seagulls appear that is!

via Tuesday Photo Prompt – Chill Out — Word of the Day Challenge

Learner at Love

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