A Secret I Have Not Shared With My Family Or Friends

I have a secret I was embarrassed about for many a year…but I don’t feel embarrassed now.  It is ancient history!  So I am going to spill the beans on myself at the tender and incredibly foolish age of 14.

Photo credit Public Domain Pictures @ pixabay.com

Since my parents had seven children, family holidays were fairly rare.  We had lots of days out, but not many week or fortnight long holidays.  My parents were always kind of grateful when other families with children our age would ask us along on their family holiday.

So one summer I was invited to go camping with my friend Kitty and her parents Uncle Ron and Aunt Agnes (they were not our real aunt and uncle, we called them that out of respect).  Only this was not a camping in the rurals and getting closer to nature.  Oooooh no.  This was camping at a music festival in a huge park in Chelmsford, Essex, which is not a million miles away from London.  I was living up near Liverpool at the time, so this was an area I had never visited before and it all seemed very exciting.

If you have camped at a music festival you don’t need me to recite details of the “facilities” – the temporary shower and toilet blocks which when we arrived were just about human…but by the end of the weekend were simply beyond description.

I remember the music.  I watched (amongst others) Hot Chocolate, Suzi Quatro and Mud, Lesley Garratt and the RHO, Boyzone (do not ask) Sean Maguire, Peter Andre (please please do not ask) and many others.  I remember meeting Jo and Jo from Basildon who told me that they were drinking meths and coke – and kept offering it to me.

But my outstanding memory is the fairground that popped up within the grounds of the park.  Kitty and I spent a lot of time and money there.  During the day before the music ever started we would hang around the fair and straight after the concerts were finishing we would go to the rides where we were sure we would find the young men who worked on the fair ground that we had become so giddy with excitement about.

It was one of the first experiences of my teenage years when I was taken over by a huge crush on the tall slim young man with dark curls and beautiful eyes.  My advice to parents is “DO NOT LET YOUR FOURTEEN GO CAMPING WITH FRIENDS”.

He seemed to like the attention he was receiving.  He was very friendly!  Thinking back I feel embarrassed I was so shamelessly persistent.  He let me.  He gave me piggy backs and swung me round and showed me how to operate the rides.  I am not sharing any other details.  But as a fourteen year old – it was just about the most excitement I had experienced.  Up to then, boys were just friends who were better at football than me no matter how hard I tried and they were usually fun to climb trees and ride our bikes with.  The young man at the fairground awakened hormones I had no idea were within me!

I did not want to ever go home.  I was determined I would follow him and follow the fairground attraction wherever they went next.  I imagined myself living in a caravan and helping to operate the rides and take payment from customers.  I truly truly wanted to run away with him.  I thought I was in love and no matter where he and the fairground went, I would go too…forever and beyond.

I am glad to say…it turned out to be a case of unrequited love!  He clearly had no intention of a fourteen year old running away with him!  Thank goodness!  Can you imagine?

 

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/07/26/worth-a-thousand-words-10/

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/07/26/unrequited/

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow…

Right…addressing any other residents of Wales, Ireland, Scotland, England…

…can we make a pact, never ever to complain about rain, snow, cold, grey, damp, mist or any of the other weather that characterises our normally green land?

I think    The Haunted Wordsmith might be teasing us today with her picture prompt!  Here we are flaking away in the sweltering heat, and we have a photo of snow.

Photo credit: Couleur @ pixabay.com

It would appear that we are not great at coping with extremes here in the UK at all.  We love the snow, we love the sun, they are a rare treat.  However…I think both show up where we are a bit soft.

I am one of the many, who are truly trying to enjoy the sunshine where we can, drinking water by the bucket and trying not to move too quickly because I don’t want to be dripping with sweat.  Really trying not to complain about the sun.  Resolute I will never ever complain again about rain and snow and ice and fog and cold.

However, everything around me seems to be dying.  Yellow grass everywhere I go, the bonsai has popped it’s clogs, and the ivy that crawls up next door’s wall has shrivelled up.

My weather fantasy right now is opening up the front door and feeling a bitterly cool breeze encircle me.  Moments later snowflakes start to flutter down and rest on my skin.

Do you think the snowman in the photo is laughing at us?  We are fading away and he looks pretty smug to me!

I just realized that Wales, Ireland, Scotland, England in that order is WISE.  That is my thought for the day…not in any way political, I just think it’s sweet.  I was born in England and I live in England, but I have family and dear friends throughout all four…and I have never noticed that they spell out WISE.

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/07/25/worth-a-thousand-words-9/

Families!

Families! Aren’t they just precious!  I mean really…I absolutely love my family and I do know how incredibly blessed I am.  I had a lot of fun with my relatives…lots of laughing, lots of food, lots of music.  But I have realized that since I left home twelve years ago, in small ways I have changed, as have my family members, so that now living together for more than a weekend is kind of hilarious.

I had such a great time with my family…but after two weeks I also had that feeling that if I stayed a moment longer I would go crazy!  Everyone is different, every home is different – it is just funny seeing habits that have developed in my family members since we have lived apart.

I don’t know, maybe I am the strange one for not understanding some of these habits that I never noticed before in my family.  Now some of these are really cute, but they were never there before I left home and now I really notice them:

• Talking to animals 
• Talking to plants
• Bizarre culinary tastes – they don’t eat proper meals anymore
• Questionable choices of clothing -especially footwear
• Controversial door closing policies
• Odd central heating battles
• Being offered a cup of tea every fifteen minutes
• Obsession about windows – have we checked them all twice before going out?  A burglar might climb through a window while we are sleeping!
• Excessive quantities of Wensleydale cheese with apricot and Brie taking up the entire top shelf of the fridge – ten blocks of cheese is too much for two people.
• Lectures about vitamins and health foods
• Wittering about people I have never met – sharing very personal details, that I don’t think they would want others to know
• Creaking rocking chair – aaaaaagh!!!!!!!
• Karaoke crooner craziness

When I refer to karaoke craziness…what was bringing me closer and closer to running out of the house in despair was hearing the same song over and over…but sung by one of my male family members.  He was singing at the top of his voice “I’m Your Lady” and telling us how amazing Jennifer Rush was.

I mean there is nothing at all wrong with any of this – and I guess it makes my family that much more lovable that we all have our own little ways!  But, it has been a while since I have been with them for so long, and it all seemed a bit bizarre at times.

Back in London – everything seems relatively normal at the moment.

But you know…families are great!

I Don’t Care How You Get Here, Just Get Here If You Can

“You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man

I don’t care how you get here, just get here if you can”

Photo credit: xisdom @ pixabay.com 

I took some pretty photos yesterday and I am working on a post all about something I saw in Goldfinch yesterday that made me love him even more.

But I have suddenly become filled with panic.  Please forgive me for a deluge of posts all about my romantic life.  I know too many lovey dovey oooey gooey posts are going to become insipid to anyone kind enough to glance over my posts.  But, suddenly I have realized, it is now the end of July…that means I have around four months left with Goldfinch.  Four months!…and then the probability is that I will never ever see him again in my life.

Ugh!  It is horrible, such a horrible horrible realization.  I told him yesterday that he has to come to me in London as often as is possible.  I know he has a lot to do, but I am going to stake a major claim on his time before he leaves.

I am going to become a frightful nag!  “When can you come?”  “Are you free this weekend?”  “You must come to London!”  For the next four months all of my friends are going to have to be patient with me, because I need my fill of Goldfinch before he returns to the opposite side of the planet.

Between London and the opposite side of the planet there are deserts and mountains and oceans and 10,000 miles.  Do you know how that feels?  I had a taste of it for five weeks at the end of last year.  10,000 miles is an awful long way away.

This song used to annoy me because of major over-play on the radio when I was younger, but now, I totally get it!  Totally!  I want him right here, right now, beside me, and I don’t want him out of my sight for the next four months!  That is not possible of course, but spending a wonderful day with him yesterday, his personality clicking in my mind and falling in love with something I have been a bit dubious about, and realizing that time is running out…

I promise you I won’t be overloading you with a post every single day about Goldfinch…I am sure I will lose all my readers if I did!!!  But I am sure there will be a few during the next four months.

What am I going to do?  Australia is such a long long way from London!

Oleta sang it best:

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don’t care how you get here, just get here if you can

You can reach me by sailboat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down slow, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don’t care how you get here, just get here if you can

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, then surely you would be closer
I need you closer

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, then surely you would be closer
I need you closer

You can windsurf into my life, take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon, but you better make it soon
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don’t care how you get here, just get here if you can

I don’t care, I don’t care, I need you right here right now
I need you right here, right now, right by my side (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

I don’t care how you get here, get here if you can

 

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/07/23/worth-a-thousand-words-7/

via Insipid — Word of the Day Challenge

https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2018/07/23/insipid/

Breathing Easy After Escaping The Big Chokey Smoke

I have just been for my second interview of the day.  It lasted hours!  It wasn’t like one of those big group interviews when they invite a hundred students and ask them what kind of animal or superhero they would liken themselves to.  It was just me, on my own…let’s ask her three hundred obscure questions.

What is all that about?  To be honest, the interviewer had such an astonishing poker face, I have no idea what he thinks of me, whether he thinks I will suit the role.

There was a stage when a thought ran through my mind:

“If this is the interview before I ever start the job…can you imagine what team meetings must be like???”

I am so exhausted by that marathon interview that I think that for me it is a no…the interview has completely put me off that role, even though it is for a much larger salary.

Photo Credit: carloyuen @ pixabay.com

But there was something else…as I was leaving I started to get a feel for the area where the business is based.  There are government buildings down one side of the road and tourist attractions all the way down the other.  Right in the heart of Pea-soup City.  The  middle of the big chokey smoke.  Now I am breathing easy after escaping the mire and murk of the City Centre.

It was the murky air that I noticed first…and then the putrid fumes of rose petal tuna fish peppery puffs wafting from the roll ups held by various individuals leaning against walls.  I can still smell it in my hair and on my dress.

The interview was draining, the area was dingy…I did not like it.  I took 46 minutes to travel there, 52 minutes on the return journey.  I am just sure that this is not going to work.  And after the interview went so well this morning, what can I say?

I don’t want to travel into the middle of the big smoke every day…it’s yucky.  I think I am happier working in a relatively more easy-going London suberb.

Aaaah…well this is what interviews are all about.  They have the chance to scrutinise you and, I guess you also have the chance to suss them out and detect if they are going to make your life miserable.

I just remembered I have a post all about interviews:

• Job Interviews

 

 

 

Posted in Worth A Thousand Words

Thank you to    The Haunted Wordsmith for another beautiful photo prompt.

 

And…yuck it was still hot….hot in the city…tonight…

…which of course brought this back to mind…

 

Stephen T Has Tagged Me For The Friday Funday Challenge

It’s Frrrrrrrriiiiiiiiday – a day of fun, laughter and mirth…

I have just been for an interview and they offered me the job there and then…when can I start?  That’s a great start to the day – is it not?  Big thanks to all the lovely well-wishers who left comments on my post yesterday.

To continue the mirthful mood I am in, it seemed the right time to publish my post in connection to the Friday Funday Challenge.

I was tagged to take part in the Friday Fun Challenge by   Stephen T (thank you Stephen) the creator of Armageddon Cafe as you can see in his post below:

https://revelationsend.wordpress.com/2018/07/15/fun/

This was another challenge created by A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! and is all explained in a post on his site!

It is a little like musical chairs. He writes: Each Friday l will ask 19 new questions, and nominate 3 bloggers of my own who will answer 16 of my questions, but insert 3 questions of their own and answer those as well, so that they are STILL answering 19 questions.

Rules:

1. Thank the nominator
2. Answer Q1-19
3. Nominate three bloggers and notify them
4. Each selected blogger must answer 16 of the 19 questions AND insert three new questions to make the 19. [hint, delete three questions you don’t like or have an answer for and replace those]
5. Q14 and Q20 Must remain intact.

Today’s Questions: (Some of which might not strike you as on a mirthful note, I have to admit)

1] Which horror movie monster do you think is the deadliest?

Well, I have not seen many horror monster movies.  They are not my cup-of-tea. I like animated films and the occasional musical, and the perhaps the even more occasional chick flick. Does Jurassic Park count as a monster movie?

My parents told me not to watch “Jaws” when I was younger.  I watched it in secret.  Of course I regretted it a lot.  Next time we went on holiday and I was swimming in the sea, I kept on imagining I was seeing sharks in the water and I was totally freaked out.  I spent the rest of the holiday only swimming in the hotel pool.

Yet another example of how I should have always listened to my parents – they know best!

2] Which serial killer do you find the most fascinating?

I certainly don’t find serial killers fascinating.

When I was 13, one of my close school friends was murdered.  I used to go running with her at lunch times (when I was not playing hockey) and after school.  They found her close to a route we often ran along, close to the hospital I was born in.

I can watch a light-hearted detective show, so long as there is no graphic violence in it, but I would not want to watch or read some kind of psychological thriller or delve into the mental state of a criminal.  Years ago I trained as a legal secretary but I couldn’t cope with the cases we  heard at court so I sought employment in other fields.  There was a man who tried to electrocute his wife by rigging up the garage door – he did it twice and I am glad to say both attempts failed.  I didn’t want to be around that kind of craziness.

3] Would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

Neither have happened – so there is no way of knowing them. Maybe I will never die at all. Won’t worry about that one yet.

Life is for living, I would rather not dwell on the prospect of death.  I want each day of my life to count for something.  I have had one close brush with death which has  reminded me to use time/life wisely.

No regrets!

4] Would you rather be eaten alive by wolves or eat another human alive?

What a choice!  Rory – did you write these questions?

I am a vegetarian – so I don’t know if that helps answer that one!  I have no problem with other people eating animals – that is allowed.  Eating another human is not allowed.  Of course neither would I particularly desire to be eaten by wolves.  But I might be dead already and it would be beyond my control.  But there is no way I would eat a human.

These are all boy questions.  We need more mirth in this.

5] If you and I were going to order a take-away on Friday night – what would you choose?

At the moment, my choice would be Thai food mainly because Goldfinch likes it and also because there is an amazing Thai restaurant that does take-away food just at the end of my road.

But I am not fussy, so long as there is a vegetarian option available I am ready to try any food – I am trying to choose healthier options though – to reduce my general wobbliness.

6] Can you swim?  Where have you swam (other than the local swimming pool)?

I can swim!  Oh yes I can swim!  I have taught friends from India and Pakistan to swim.  It has been quite special to see their excitement when they go from complete beginner to being able to swim up and down the length of the pool on their own.  To see their mirthful reaction to being able to swim was very rewarding!

My sisters and I were competitive swimmers for years.  I love swimming.  Being in a pool feels wonderful to me…peace, calm, happy place…and then as I swim up and down for an hour or two I feel adrenaline and power rushing through my limbs.

I have swam in Hampstead Ponds and in the sea when we went on holiday to Cornwall.  I have also swam in the Mediterranean on holidays to France, Spain and Turkey but the whole Jaws issues has kind of ruined it for me.   We also went scuba diving in Turkey…which was amazing!

7] If you were asked to film a new horror movie, what would the plot be?

Well…it would not be a horror movie for a start.  I could do a musical or a period drama – last time I went to see a musical, the guys I was with looked quite disturbed, more than if they had been watching a freak show.  They actually asked us if the characters were going to stop singing.

I nearly fainted when I came home one day and found one of my flatmates had been making Red Velvet Cake – it did look rather like a horror scene.

Oh and then there was the time when my Dadda was sawing a wooden door and he nicked his finger tip – blood spurted out all over the hallway.

8] Do you like creepy-crawlies (insects, worms, bugs etc)?

What is not to love about them? 

I wish I made more time to learn more about them.  Everything I read about insects is pretty phenomenal.

9] Where is the strangest place you’ve ever found yourself?

My mum gave us a tour of the endoscopy unit at the hospital where she worked.  It was really odd seeing all the different shaped bed frames for patients to be positioned in whilst cameras were being inserted in various locations.

We were interrogated at Detroit airport after a misunderstanding a few years ago – that was scary!  We were not exactly given a warm welcome.

We went on a tour of Cape Coast Castle in Ghana and we were down in the dungeons where countless thousands of men and women would have been kept in depraved conditions before being shipped to the Americas.

Being within the innards of an enormous printing press (producing 100,000 newspapers per hour) with the engineers was quite cool.  I have been inside a few times and felt quite awed by it.

10] Where,or when, are you most at peace?

Well…every night when I slip into bed and fall asleep I am at peace – but I guess being unconscious does not qualify as peace.

I feel at peace when I am swimming (but after watching Jaws as a teenager, that has to be in a swimming pool).

When I was in Snowdonia last week I saw so many stunning views that made my heart leap – you know that feeling? – it a mix of peace and wonder and gratitude for being alive and being able to enjoy life.

11] What is the creepiest book you have ever read?

Well, I have had to read a pretty horrid training book about fungal infections recently which we often have to advise on at work.  Quite regularly patients walk in and start trying to take their shoes and socks off and show us their symptoms.  Often my first thought is – why did you let it get this bad?

For your sakes, I won’t include any pictures with this reply.

Or…hold on…I bet I can find something that won’t make you feel ill after you have eaten your lunch.

The photos in the training book I had to read were horrid – worse than the imagination of any creepy book writer.

12] What fictional monster movie would you change the ending to?

I have not seen any monster movies other than Pixar movies…Monsters Inc – I don’t thing I would change this really.  I think Pixar are super – my cinema viewing would be non-existent if it were not for Pixar.

13] Do you believe in life after death?

I have read the scriptures from Genesis through to Revelation many times and it seems very clear that death was not a part of the original purpose for humans.  It is a consequence of what Adam and Eve chose.

Did the Creator abandon His original purpose?  His own word guarantees He will undo all the damage including death.

If any of my friends or workmates ask me what happens after death, I ask them first what they believe.  I don’t want to be belligerent and knock someone else’s treasured beliefs they may have clung to for years, especially at times of bereavement.

But when I was younger and asked these questions, I was only satisfied with an authoritative answer that made sense from start to finish.  I only found that when I read the scriptures for myself.  I have lost many close friends and family members and the longing I feel to see them again is echoed in one of my favourite passages:

If a man dies, can he live again?…

…You will call, and I will answer you.

You will long for the work of your hands.

I have been with several people when they took their last breath.  It was strange but a relief to see their pain end…and they were fast asleep, no longer distressed.

I totally appreciate why death is likened to sleep throughout the scriptures.  And I draw tremendous comfort and confidence from both the promises for the future and the accounts of people being woken up from that sleep and being alive again.

To me, the only thing that will undo the damage that Adam and Eve’s decision caused and end the pain caused by disease, old age and death, is to wake up those who have died, to restore life to them. The comparison of death to sleep shows how easy it is for the Creator to do this.

I think it is very healthy for every normal human to ask themselves this question at some stage.  I pondered it a lot as a teenager.  Some said heaven or hell, others said a human might be born again as a different form of life, others said there is nothing, nada, zip and there is no hope after you lose your life.  I would not want to be ignorant of someone else’s treasured beliefs…but for myself, I was only satisfied when I read everything I could find on this subject for myself, and asked all my questions and saw proper answers.

I know that some people do not believe in a Creator, I have no desire to mock someone else’s sincere belief, but so far there is no human endeavour that has been able to conquer death.  Yet, throughout the scriptures it is clear that is exactly what is at hand. No more of the consequences including death that have been inherited from Adam.

14] Which 3 questions will you be deleting to add your own in?

If I had my way, I would probably change more than three (sorry Rory – but as someone who does not have any interest in horror movies and stays a million miles away from the occult – I think I have done well to provide answers to these questions at all)!

Definitely 6, 8 and 16 will be going – as they are questions I would never dream of asking anyone in real life.  I am going to cheat and take 5 out as well.  The horror movie stuff is going to have to stay I suppose, although they are not my cup-of-tea.  I am going to attempt make these questions less about horror and ghosts.

15] What is your song? Or for the kids- what’s your jam?

Oh so many…my music tastes are diverse.  I have already published a post with some of my all time favourites:

• Anexpatshome Has Renominated Me For Another Liebster – I Am Not Sure If This Is Allowed! (But It Is Fun)

At the moment I have had one song whirling around my head for weeks…love the song, but it’s driving me nuts!  I don’t know how to get rid of it…I am a worker and so many of the lines it make me laugh…and I sing it in the shower at the top of my voice, which I worry my landlady is going to complain about one day.

16] Have you been to a castle, palace, stately home or National Trust property recently?  Where did you go

Goldfinch took me to Baddesley Clinton and we had a perfect afternoon together with an amazing picnic and hours of walking and talking and love.

17] Which type of movie monster is your favorite?

Well, I quite liked Monsters Inc…that was quite fun.

But one of my favourite movies of all time would have to be Finding Nemo.  There is a scary bit at one point, with Bruce the Shark – I mean the first time I saw it…I was rather nervous that Marlin was going to be sushi.

I far far preferred Finding Nemo to Jaws and it almost helped me get over my fear of swimming in the ocean.

18] What’s your biggest fear?

Well, I don’t exactly live in fear of being eaten by a shark…but it does dictate where I swim.

A lot of things have happened to me (a few boxes I would never have wanted to be ticked have been ticked) and I am not as frightened as I used to be when I was younger.  It is incredible what a human can go through and yet survive.

I see daily the physical struggle faced by those whose health and mobility is deteriorating. While working in healthcare, I have often been moved to tears by seeing someone who has been dynamic and energetic for decades become dependent on others for everything.  One of my fears is losing control of my innards.  I have always thought that when I help anyone in that situation, I want to do so with the greatest dignity and respect possible – I would hate to be in that situation, completely dependant on healthcare providers for physical help, but to find they had no sensitivity or kindness.  I hate to say it, but I have seen wonderful health workers and awful health workers who do not really care.

A worry that effects me now is fear that I will never make it back to my home, my career (where I was based before the crime that I have referred to in some of my posts)…I miss that satisfying purposeful life.

I also fear that there are people who I love and respect that believe the rumours my ex-flatmate spread.  I am fearful that there is no way to undo that damage and for as long as I live, people I think the world of will think I did things that I would never dream of doing.  It’s not possible to find everyone who has heard a lie about you and completely vindicate and exonerate yourself.  I guess you have to accept that those false words have had their effect.  You have to just carry on as the person you know you are and trust that people who are genuine will get to know the real you and value who you really are.

19] If you found yourself in a horror movie, would you be one of the first to die or the survivor?

This is one of the reasons why I don’t watch horror movies – people dying – I prefer to stick with Pixar productions.

If I made the mistake of wandering onto the set of a horror movie, I would immediately raise the alert and admit I was lost, even if I had to tell a bunch of movie people I was just looking for the toilets.

I would get out of there as quickly as possible – which I think would make me qualify as a survivor.

20] The three bloggers you are nominating are?

   Christine Bolton, Poetry For Healing   –   https://poetryforhealing.com/

   amydwestphal   –    https://amy-westphal.com/

   Michael   –  https://summerstommy.com/

Well – I am here wishing you all a very lovely and mirthful Friday.  Whatever you are up to..enjoy.  I am going to see my Goldfinch this weekend, so I will be full of mirth.

via Mirth — Word of the Day Challenge

 

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Like many cities, it costs an arm and a leg to rent a place in London..to buy a house here costs your entire soul – which is something that I am not willing to trade just to feel a sense of “ownership” over a few square feet in the middle of the big smoke.

Photo Credit: Pexels @ pixabay.com

I am very blessed at the moment with an incredibly reasonable rate of rent which allows me not to become obsessive about my penny-pinching ways.

Not only does it come at a reasonable rate, but the little flat (or apartment – I don’t use that term because it sounds a bit poncey to us Englishees) I live in right now is very pretty and spacious.  It is equipped with every convenience and fully furnished tastefully.

I had a wonderful holiday with family and friends but I was surprised to feel very joyful to be back in my sweet little abode.

One amazing bonus about this flat is how lovely and cool it stays throughout these sweltering days.  While I was away some people stayed in my little pad and they all said it was like paradise coming out of the heat of the day and walking into a chilled little oasis.

Now this is on my mind because I have made a decision (I actually made it three weeks ago) and it involves these job interviews I have tomorrow.  I am nail-bitingly nervous about my decision – you know that dread of “what if it all goes wrong?”  What if I cannot pay my rent?  What if I am turned out on to the streets with my suitcase?

I have often pondered what an amazing find this little flat was and what are the chances of finding anywhere half as nice for an affordable rate?  The money that my landlords ask of me – what else could I afford to rent in London?

When I saw this picture prompt from   The Haunted Wordsmith, it immediately answered my question – if it all goes wrong…if I find myself without any employment, this is probably about as much as I could afford to rent in London.  I am 5 foot 8 inches, so I am sure my legs would stick out of the washing machine even more than whoever is camping out in the machine in the picture.

For months I have been asking the question in the title of this post.  We have probably all done it at some point whilst in a job that is sucking all the life out of us.  Well…I recently made a decision and acted on it…and now I have to make sure I have the tenacity to make it work, to make it the right decision

But it has really hit home that the cost of living in London means everything is on a knife’s edge…if it all goes wrong…I will be heading for a launderette near you with my pound coins to stake my claim on one of the machines.  I will stick my suitcase up on top of the machine and throw my pillow inside and settle down to sleep .

So….with that optimistic thought in mind, I can going to say goodnight for now as I want to have a good night’s sleep before my interviews tomorrow.

Decisions – SCARY!!!!

 

 

https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2018/07/19/worth-a-thousand-words-3/

The Britchy One Has Nominated Me For 3.2.1 – Quote Me! “Being You And Only You”

Recently, I was nominated by none other than   the britchy one for a challenge, as you can read in her post below:

3.2.1 – Quote Me! “Being You And Only You”

She has a very enticing blogsite – oh she makes me laugh my socks off almost everyday.  Brilliant blogger!

You may be aware I have been living out of a suitcase for a couple of weeks, so this challenge has been lying dormant in my drafts folder, but I found the challenge incredibly enticing right from the start and have been giving it thought and changing the quotes I had settled on many times.

Now…I have not done one of these before…so please be patient with me because I was a bit clueless in all honesty, so it has been lying in my drafts folder while I have been away on holiday until I could do it justice.

To understand what I was supposed to do I went all the way to the Creator of these challenges   A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! who explained it all rather beautifully in his post 321 Quote Me – Who Wants to Play?

ONE THEME: Being You And Only You

TWO QUOTES: So here come my two quotes:

So…I must admit this quote is not really one I fully subscribe to.  It is an Oscar Wilde quote – it makes me laugh, but nah, it is not me.  However, I do think I have finally understood the importance of having a healthy self-esteem.  It is wise to do what you can to make first your inner person and then your outer person attractive to others, we could even to go so far as to say enticing to others (for every wholesome reason!)

For years, I was overly self-critical.  I have learnt that it is much healthier to be aware of and value your own good points as a foundation to be able to genuinely love others. When I did not like my chubby face, my freaky feet, my wobbly lumps and bumps, the sound of my voice and I thought I looked terrible whatever I was wearing, it made me kind of glum and downcast.  I realized that is no way to live…and no way to love others either.

This quote – well, I have no idea who first voiced these words to be honest.  It is another one that I half agree with.  I don’t in any way look for challenges or find them enticing.  I don’t rush headlong into challenges just so that I can learn something and grow – uh no!  But I do appreciate looking back that it was situations that I found challenging that made me realize I had strengths I never imagined.  And yes, I have also picked up on weaknesses that I did feel I needed to change.

I have had two major challenges in my life – one I am still in the middle of.  I love the mantra LET CHALLENGES MAKE YOU BETTER, NOT BITTER.

Hope these blogging challenges are making me a better blogger!!!

And finally

THREE NOMINEES:

uzmaalik  ashellinmaking.wordpress.com

SillyShruti  sillyshruti.wordpress.com

manikavenkat  The New Writer

I hope you enjoy the challenge as much as I have.  Have fun!

via ENTICING — Word of the Day Challenge

 

Bloggers Helping Us Reach Our Full Potential

I usually have a post all ready for publishing first thing in the morning…but not today!  Today is ironing day!  I need to do a lot of catching up and sort out some of the photos I took while I was away to see what might be of interest to anyone except my family and friends – don’t want to overdo it with holiday spam!

My own posts are very much neglected after I spent a long time last night working my way through the posts and comments from other bloggers on these two pillars of the blogging world:

https://swimmersweek.wordpress.com/2018/07/16/swimmers-8/

https://thelittlemermaid09.wordpress.com/2018/07/01/tea-party/

It was definitely worth making the time for these great provisions though.  It’s great to have the support from other bloggers helping us reach our full blogging potential!  Oh how we do miss The Daily Post Provisions.  The bloggers who have set up their own avenues to keep everyone connected deserve a huge thank you from all of us.  I know there are more out there, so please forgive me if I have not mentioned your community posts – or send me a message so I can add you to this post.

I have twelve posts in my drafts folder that I am working on – all with great potential – but not one of them do I have the mental energy for until I have some more coffee inside of me.  All those drafts have issues I need to iron out.

But right now I really do have to prioritise on my ironing!  I came back to London yesterday.  I emptied my suitcase and I have already done some washing and ironing…but the rest of my clothes I put into storage under my bed and I have pulled everything out this morning and everything is squished and crumpled.

So, I am going to wade my way through a mountain of ironing.  Which is fine – I love ironing!  Then I need to go shopping, because I have lots of coffee in the flat…and then all I have is jars of herbs and spices.  I  cleared everything out because people were staying here while I was away.

So far today, I have only had black coffee…and have ironed around a quarter of my clothes.  I have been working my way through my e-mails also and made two phone-calls to companies who have invited me for an interview.  That’s something else I may not have mentioned.  Let me just check…oh yes, there it is, in my drafts folder, I am not ready to publish it yet, but a full account of my search for another job – potentially the perfect job.

I am so used to having constant chatter for the past couple of weeks that it suddenly seems eerily quiet here.  So, I think while I finish off my ironing I am going to find something to have on the TV to keep me company…oooh Cherish Finden and Benoir Blin – ooooh, that should be good.  All the potential to keep my mind occupied while I am ironing.

So think of me, sorting out my little abode today, pulling everything back out of storage and putting it back in it’s little place…and ironing pretty much everything I own.  I promise to put a bit more time into some of my other posts at some stage.

I am going to say “Ciao for now” and carry on with my ironing.

I can’t think straight until I have made this little place orderly again.  Only then can I reach my full potential.

via Potential — Word of the Day Challenge

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