Fancy Omelettes

I made myself an omelette last night – not just any old omelette, but a fancy omelette – with posh ingredients. An omelette is actually a rarity for me. I am a vegetarian (since I was six years old), but I am not a vegan. Yet, I have an intolerance to dairy and I am just not very keen on the taste of eggs.

But every now and then, I feel a little run down, and I decide to buy some eggs to include in my diet. I always remember my Dadda telling me that eggs are one of the best sources of protein (after he read a book about Ranulph Fiennes). It is possible that I don’t quite have enough protein in my diet. I just love eating green stuff so much, I neglect to add protein to my diet.

Anyway…it was a really really nice omelette. Hopefully, my body will be grateful for that super boost of protein.

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Don’t Call Me, I Might Call You

I am the world’s worst when it comes to phones. In order to avoid frustration and annoyance further down the line, these days I feel I ought explain to people when I first meet them that trying to reach me by phone is incredibly difficult.

E-mails are the best way to contact me. Of course, I won’t be able to respond immediately, but eventually I will send a reply, if a reply is needed.

I do have a landline but I am rarely home. The mobile phone in my possession – it is usually switched off – I carry it around in my bag for three reasons:

• for use in an emergencies
• sending love texts (you know like love letters but shorter) to Jack
• telling my sister when I will be able to talk

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But something happened twice recently. We have had two internet outages – and I mean hours and hours, all through the evening and night without connection. That means lots of emails I was supposed to be sending to volunteers could not go. I could draft them in Microsoft Word, but had to wait until I could send them. Plus…I could listen to YouTube and Spotify playlists (the television did not work without internet connection either).

I was able to glean some pleasure from my rarely used basic phone. If you plug in headphones, my phone is tuned in to Classic FM. It was wonderful to listen for about an hour to scintillating music courtesy of that little phone.

Why I Am In Love With Camellias

What is not to love? They are big and colourful and unabashed. They are bounteous and generous and luxuriant. They have such a dominant presence – but what a statement they make – “Hello – LOOK AT ME!!!”

Camellias are such a huge fanfare that spring is ruling. I do sometimes grow weary of sweep, sweep, sweeping up the blooms that have fallen to the ground. But I am in love – and the extra work they make is nothing compared to the joy they yield over and over again.

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Not Bored Of My Own Company Yet

Jack is quite an extravert. He is a larger than life sort of character. He is gregarious, energetic, affable, charismatic and he loves people. He has a great sense of humour, he has a brain like a computer and an ability to think outside of the box. Sometimes he reveals areas where he is still like a teenager – I am assured that many men have this same issue. There really is never a dull moment when I am with Jack.

He has been away for a week already, and I will have to wait two and a half weeks before I can see him again. I have lost track of the people who said to me “you must be so lonely”.

I am sure the comment is well-meaning but why would I be lonely? I see scores and scores of people every day. Sure, I miss Jack. I will miss him at weekends especially, but so far, I am fine. I was working with people on Saturday and Sunday and had a drink with friends after work before I went home. I spent some time over the weekend doing things I often don’t have chance to – sorting out my summer wardrobe and putting most of my winter clothes into storage, sewing clothes in need of repair, languishing in a bubble bath deep cleaning my kitchen and bathroom, washing my pillows, sorting out my paperwork. When Jack is around, it is hard to schedule time for those extras.

I love Jack very much but I am capable of functioning without him. I am in no way bored of my own company, nor am I lonely. This past weekend, it felt wonderful to have a little time to myself. But yes, of course I am longing for him to return. He makes life so much fun!!!

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Choices, Challenges And Champions

I remember the world when I was just five years old

The books that we read and the stories we were all told

Made me think that in my future a wife is all I’d be

Caring for a home and a mother of two or three

But the world was changing, by the time I was sixteen

Options now lay before me and I was super keen

Soon I was in steel toe-capped boots and a hard-hat

Digging groundworks or tiling roofs like an acrobat

I’m grateful to all those men who freely shared their skills

I learnt to use cement mixers and pneumatic drills

The men who trained me proved that they were of noble heart

Ensuring that a woman could feel she had a part

Though the work was tough, soon I’d acquired trades galore

But now I sensed within me a hunger for something more

I volunteered for construction projects near and far

Lusaka, Bucharest, Managua and Accra

I was assigned to teach women who had been abused

Their accounts of mistreatment left me far from amused

Travelling to other lands, meeting women everywhere

Who show courage and zeal in a world that is unfair

Empowering all women is still a global quest

Which will allow humanity to be at it’s best

We remember the girls who brought football home last year

In every town and village we heard a mighty cheer

We were celebrating not just winning a sports game

But opened doors, smashed glass ceilings, women in the frame!

That champion football squad now amplify the voice

Of women young and old fighting for a better choice

Parts of this world have made progress or so it would seem

Yet there are still many women who can only dream

They will have the chance for training and education

To escape cruelty, violence and deprivation

So please we urge re-focus on the clear rationale

Celebrating women here and international

Be it colleagues, friends, daughters, sisters, aunties or wife

Embrace equality – value women in your life!

This is a rhyme I came up with recently. I just wanted to mention that it is not for IWD – which seems to be a token or novelty to many, more of a PR opportunity than a decisive turning point. I wrote it for an online conference (webinar) that was all about educational programs for people who have been mistreated, often due to being financially dependent on their abusers. As you may well imagine, the vast majority of those enrolled in these programs are women.

I do not consider myself a “feminist”, but I do despise cruelty and violence, injustice and oppression. I am grateful that I have enjoyed freedom of choice in so many areas of my life. Being a mother and rearing children is a wonderful honour, yet in many lands this responsibility is forced upon women, often girls who are still children and have been effectively sold as brides. I am passionate about protecting women who are often denied choices, controlled by threats and violence, and who are viewed as inconsequential slaves.

The corporate entities who make a fuss over these international days – making pledges and putting on a show over their enlightened outlook – but then not keeping their word – I have a poor opinion of. Those who laugh about subjects like rape as if it were a joke – or think it is “manly” to belittle a woman or undermine her self-esteem – you simply do not deserve anything. If it were up to me, I would take everything from you and leave you destitute – which you are – you are pathetic, ignorant cowards without conscience. If you continue in your ways, you will have no future life prospects at all.

All The Stars Were Just Like Little Fish

Jim Adams aka Newepicauthor, the creator of A Unique Title For Me, is hosting SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY and this week he has chosen the theme: GRUNGE MUSIC

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So…I was thinking lots of random thoughts about the genre of Grunge Rock. It somehow does not seem as pretentious as the era that pre-empted it. You know those egotistical rock icons with their big hair and sparkly platforms, their super tight trousers and big power ballads. Somehow, Grunge music felt like a rebellion against all of that.

Yet, Grunge became almost as iconic – mainly through some of the tragic demises of legendary names that left the world slightly traumatised. I think that there is an emotive connection to Grunge that every has felt ought to be memorialized – whether or not you actually like the sound of Grunge music.

Most of the music I hear within the category of Grunge sounds troubled – to say the least. I am never sure if this is a stroppy teenager having a big fat hissy fit because they cannot get their own way – or some surrealist flexing their creative muscles in warped directions. Somehow, I feel safer with the stroppy hissy fit than the surreal but warped creative genius.

My main gripe with Grunge – is the horrific association of iconic Grunge musicians with disturbing abuse of drugs. I sort of write them off as fools for this reason. I have seen people destroy their lives through drugs – and I have even tried to tackle this bizarre form of self-destruction in my writing. I detest the abuse of drugs. So it is hard for me to feel any sort of respect or admiration for anyone who dabbles, becomes entangled, becomes enslaved by drugs.

My choice for today is another legendary icon – Courtney Love and the band Hole with a track called “Violet“.

And the sky was made of amethyst
And all the stars were just like little fish
You should learn when to go
You should learn how to say "NO"

Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever
Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever

When they get what they want, they never want it again
When they get what they want, they never want it again

Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to

And the sky was all violet
I want it again, but violent more violent
Hey, I'm the one with no soul
One above and one below

Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever
Might last a day, yeah
Mine is forever

When they get what they want, they never want it again
When they get what they want, they never want it again

Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, I dare you to

I told you from the start just how this would end
When I get what I want then I never want it again

Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, I want you to
Go on, take everything, take everything, take everything, take everything

Written by: Courtney Love and Eric Erlandson

Penny For Your Golden Hearted Thoughts

Sometimes Jack looks as if his mind is elsewhere. He looks as if he is another world. We all have those moments I suppose. But Jack has a heavy load of responsibility on his shoulders.

We talk a lot about the work we are both involved in. There are certain details he cannot share with me – confidentiality – details about individual people, details about decisions made with regards to funding, the demands of political entities, decisions to send volunteers to areas that are fraught with danger.

I sometimes gaze at him wondering what is going on in his mind. It can be difficult when there are subjects he cannot talk to me about. However, one thing I am sure of, and it comforts me deeply – Jack’s thoughts, his motivations, his meditations, his ponderings – they generally revolve around things noble and wonderful.

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I am sure he has his moments…but on the whole, Jack is an golden hearted man who is devoted to serving others. That is why he has been assigned so much responsibility. I am so proud of him.

I Feel It In My Toes

It may seem silly, but one of the advantages of working in Finance was being able to paint my finger nails all sorts of different colours. In my NHS role – it’s a big NO NO! to nail varnish.

That’s just fine, because I still have my toes. However…

…I have noticed recently that my toes are being neglected – and they are not happy at all. I just don’t seem to have the time the time to paint my toenails.

Jack travelled to Porto Rico last week. So this weekend…I will have time on my lonesome for the first time in ages. Top of my priority list – pain those dainty little toenails.

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I Was Almost A Mother

Frequently, I still feel as if it was just last week when I left school. I still do not feel like an adult. Adult experiences still sort of unnerve me. I think because I profoundly disagree with the worldwide social, political, economic system and have sought to avoid becoming entangled with it, I have lived a lot of my life feeling free, able to give my time and energy to things that feel truly important.

Naturally, the friends I have drawn closest to have shared the same view, the same vision, the same yearning for something so much better than the monstrously inadequate current way of mismanaging things. But over the years, many of my friends have had to make decisions as a new and precious responsibility was assigned to them. They experienced the wonder of becoming parents. They had to make changes to their lifestyle in order to care for their incredible gift.

I was talking to a friend last night. We have been friends since we were teenagers. She is a mother of three beautiful little girls. She was telling me about some of the dramas in their family just in the past month. They have been to A&E four times in a month with their three daughters. It would seem the girls are attracted to danger.

While my friend was talking…I was thinking back to four years ago. Four while years ago. It seems so crazy. I was almost a mother. A life, a unique and precious human was growing inside of me, developing intricately and miraculously. I felt a sense of mourning today…for all sorts of reasons. I miss friends I have lost, beloved friends, relatives, and the precious little child that I lost when she (or he) was just the size of an apricot. I am comforted that she lays peacefully near to my family in Snowdonia. She will always be a part of me. A precious and epic part of my voyage of a lifetime.

Her father will always be a part of me. Whether he needs to be or not – he will always be one of my most treasured friends. Whether he needs to be or not. What he allowed me to experience – makes him sacred to me.

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I Just Want To Protect You

I heard some say something odd the other day. It is odd. Very odd. They expressed their opinion, or belief, that it is alright for humans take whatever they want or need from this planet and creation, because in their words “earth is hell, life on earth is just a test we need to survive”.

How bizarre. How utterly bizarre. To me, and I am sure to many others – life on earth is a wondrous, beautiful, loving gift – magnificent on so many levels. Yes, there are challenges, and most of these seem to be caused by imperfect people. But earth – planet earth – is a stunning jewel, teaming with exquisite creatures reveling the imagination of an extraordinary artist.

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I want to live on this earth forever. I want to protect and cherish this breathtaking home and the astonishing creatures we share it with. Since I was a little girl – my heart has been particularly wrapped up in the ocean and whales. If I had a completely free choice of how to spend my day every day (if I was without the commitments and responsibilities I have become entangled with) I would be out there researching and protecting whales. How they have suffered from people who think they can just take whatever they want from this planet and creation. I would love to think of them as safe and thriving always.