Is It A Straw Or A Rafter In Your Eye?

I faced a situation recently when someone became very picky over small things I was doing. Small things. You know, the little things someone does in an effort to keep things in order, to categorize things as important. When it comes to big things…it is often important that you strictly follow a policy or procedure. But when it comes to little things…there is usually room for people to use their common sense and work out an orderly approach to prioritising and keep their work organized.

I tend to ignore pickiness for all sorts of reasons. Someone might be having a bad day, they might be stressed out, they might be tired. Or, there could be other reasons, they might be inflexible and insistent that their way is the only way.

But when it becomes persistent pickiness. When you go above and beyond in all you do and someone seems to only see your faults, it can become dispiriting. Even more dispiriting when the person asks someone in authority to approach you to voice what you know is someone else’s fault-finding (because the person in authority never works with you). When approached by said person in authority, I explained why I do things a certain way and they seemed impressed at what I said. To an extent, the issue is resolved because the person in authority agreed with me. But that has sort of made things worse with the original fault-finder. Now they seem a little resentful that I was praised as insightful and innovative.

Photo by Gustavo Rodrigues on

What I find difficult is that the person who is being picky with me is doing things that are causing lots of upset and offense and complaints and extra challenges. I never give this person negative feedback, partly because I don’t feel it’s my place to do so, and partly because I .prefer to be encouraging. I just try to be friendly and warm with them. So it sure is strange to be on the receiving end of constant trickle of griping and grumbling.

It’s early days, but I know this could have the potential to chip away at my joy. It’s one of those straw / rafter situations that can be so frustrating to deal with. Sometimes keeping perspective, viewing things clear-sightedly, and not allowing hurt feelings to fester…it can be quite a challenge to resolve.