When I first started writing and publishing my work on this site, I found myself digging deep, and digging deeper and deeper as I gained great satisfaction from expressing deep hidden gemstones and precious relics into words.
But I have felt as if over the past couple of years, I am not longer digging as deep. I think the major reason behind that is limited time. I think also when I started writing, a very turbulent traumatic stage in my life was still dominating everything, whereas several years later, I have such peace of mind and heart and the painful estrangement that tormented me is long forgotten (and has of course become an engagement!)
Then there is another factor. When I started writing, I kept my site a secret from friends for a long time. It was only during the Pandemic that people I know expressed an interest in blogging, and gradually they came to learn that I had been publishing for a long time. I do sort of think that because I know that what I share may be seen by my friends and some of my colleagues, I hold back a little now.
I do miss it. I was thinking about something I wanted to write about as I walked home from work. I wanted to get it out and put it out there. But remembering friends would see it and perhaps worry, I decided not to. I miss digging deep.
Caramel 
Digging deep is so therapeutic but I understand your hesistancy now. Have you thought about digging deep in a journal? No one would see it but you could still express your feelings. ❤
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I have kept journals at some points in my life. I think for some time, my blog sort of became a little bit like a journal at times. It has always been mostly positive, but I valued the chance to write honestly about challenges as well. I am more cautious now friends read my posts.
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I can understand this well
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❤ ❤ ❤
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This is your cathartic outlet. Don’t be afraid to write what you want to write. if people don’t like it, and decide to unfollow you, they have actually done you a favor. you don’t need people who don’t accept you for who you really are.
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Hey Jean, thank you. I have never been too worried about anyone choosing to unfollow. It is more the worry that I might write about something I have found challenging, and everyone worries too much and they assume I am falling apart, when actually the opposite is true, I am just writing honestly about a past challenge that I conquered but still have some battle scars from. Now that friends have discovered my site, I am a little cautious about not writing anything that would make them rush round and think I am unhappy.
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My family and friends still don’t know. But then again the wonderful friends I’ve made blogging know much more about my life than some of those supposed to be closest to me.
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There is something to be said for having a place when you can get things off your chest, without the possibility of your friends and family dialling the Samaritans on your behalf. I have always found being able to write a positive and healthy thing for me, and as I look back I know the vast majority of what I have written has been positive, but I have also written very honest and raw posts, some that did not shy away from difficult challenges I have experienced. I have been more cautious about some subjects since my friends learnt of my site. I do miss the chance to speak from the bottom of my heart.
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