When I first started writing and publishing my work on this site, I found myself digging deep, and digging deeper and deeper as I gained great satisfaction from expressing deep hidden gemstones and precious relics into words.
But I have felt as if over the past couple of years, I am not longer digging as deep. I think the major reason behind that is limited time. I think also when I started writing, a very turbulent traumatic stage in my life was still dominating everything, whereas several years later, I have such peace of mind and heart and the painful estrangement that tormented me is long forgotten (and has of course become an engagement!)
Then there is another factor. When I started writing, I kept my site a secret from friends for a long time. It was only during the Pandemic that people I know expressed an interest in blogging, and gradually they came to learn that I had been publishing for a long time. I do sort of think that because I know that what I share may be seen by my friends and some of my colleagues, I hold back a little now.
I do miss it. I was thinking about something I wanted to write about as I walked home from work. I wanted to get it out and put it out there. But remembering friends would see it and perhaps worry, I decided not to. I miss digging deep.