Is It All In My Head?

Jack very delicately and tactfully put a question to me at the weekend. I have been suffering…yes suffering…with some sidesplitting headaches recently, and added to that two black-outs, he finally convinced me that contacting my GP was absolutely necessary. The GP told us to go to A&E (which is exactly what they always do because of my history).

So, Jack drove me off to A&E, and I waited, and waited, and waited, while Jack had to spend most of the time in his car responding to phone-calls. He checked on me regularly though and when I texted him to say I had been called in, he was not far behind me. After a score of questions and routine checks, I had to wait even longer before they sent me off for a CT scan, and then I had to wait for the results – and they just said almost word for word what they always say.

Anyway…Jack posed a question and he was very careful about his wording. In view of the recent change to a new job that I am finding not particularly enjoyable, it is possible that there is a link between my headaches and blackouts and stress?

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I respect Jack for asking the question. I was sincere when I said I don’t think it is stress. I don’t really feel stressed in my new job, although I am unhappy there. I acknowledged there may be an increased physical demand on my brain and body due to the longer commute to work. Perhaps staring at a screen all day is not helping. But I don’t think it is any kind of anxious stress that is causing these headaches.

They are much too intense. Plus, the Doctor who discussed the CT scan said there is a little swelling, but no sign of any bleeding. Swelling is not good. But stress does not cause your brain tissue to swell. The Doctor discussed the familiar advice on not exerting myself physically, on not taking any risks, and on making sure I rest and remain hydrated. In other words, he had no idea why I am still having blackouts and realizes that I have been examined by neurologists more times than I have been to a dentist in my life!

Jack was so sweet to me after our adventure to hospital. I was shattered by the day. Shattered. I was resting myself on a pillow and could not keep my eyes open. He was stroking my head and whispering into my ear how precious I am to him. My goodness….my beloved, who is a teenager in a fifty-something’s body, can be incredibly sweet when he wants to be.

And then….I have no idea what happened next because when I opened my eyes it was morning.

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