Fainting Beauty

I had a black out today (when this is published it will be yesterday). Jack was lecturing me at the weekend about doing too much – and I think the combination of my period arriving…he sent me to bed on Monday evening because I was not making any sense, and I slept for two hours before we had dinner together, and then another eight hours or so.

But today (or I should say yesterday) from the moment I was on my feet this morning, I knew that something was not right. I was reeling. The room was spinning. It was like being on the verge of fainting. I was a little nervous about leaving the house on my own, but I had to. An empty fridge is not very convenient for my lifestyle. Because I was feeling so weird, I decided it would be a better idea to catch the bus to the big supermarket (normally I would walk and go to the zero waste shop first and pick up bits they don’t have from other shops).

I remember getting onto the bus. I don’t remember getting off the bus. I do remember opening my eyes and realizing I was laying on the pavement. Embarrassed I tried to get myself up and fortunately there was a bench nearby.

Because I am a very stubborn and sometimes silly person, I did my shopping, caught the bus back, and then phoned Jack. He was very concerned that I ought to have skipped the shopping and thought about medical attention. I don’t want to go to hospital. I would end up being there overnight, and I cannot do that. I am too busy. I need to be in my own nest sleeping. If I had more energy, maybe I should show myself again….and we could go through the same old rigmarole of waiting for hours to have a scan, only for them to tell me to be careful.

I don’t have the energy for it. I just want to be unconscious for the next eight hours and then get myself to work…and then get myself home for another eight hours of sleep.