New dress alert!!! Well, new to me, courtesy of a very dear friend of mine who wanted to expand my office wardrobe, and gave me her confidence boosting full on pink dress (as well as a selection of black, grey, and navy garments).
I loved it!!! I wore it on my first day back in the office. Well, after all, I have a reputation as a “trendsetter” to uphold!!
I have never realized before there was a confidence boosting shade of pink. Now I know! Don’t stop me 🙂
Back in the autumn of 2020, when Jack randomly and spontaneously bought a house when someone he knew wanted a quick sale…I remember thinking to myself, “Why would he buy a house in Cumbria, when our life is centred in London?”
Not long afterwards, my bafflement was put on ice because Jack asked me to marry him, and I decided to shelve the confusion over his impulse purchase.
However….now, I think he is a genius!!! Do you know how wonderful it is to wake up knowing which ever direction you walk in, it is going to be glorious!!!
Thank you for all of the very kind comments on my post yesterday. Each one warmed my heart and I am so grateful to you.
I really am not myself. It reached almost five o’clock yesterday when my tummy told me and I finally realized that I had not eaten all day. I had been drinking coffee, tea and water throughout the day, but somehow, I just forgot all about eating. My mind is just not in gear.
I think not having eaten made me even more heavy hearted. When I did eventually reach home, I had a meal I usually enjoy, but it seemed so bland and tasteless.
I am going to mow the lawn tomorrow before our trip away. It is going to be cold apparently. That is fine, the Lake District is wonderful whatever the weather. The cold is never an issue when you are walking. Plus, there is nothing like some yummy comfort food on a cold day.
I must remember to eat.
I crashed yesterday. It had to come at some point. I think it was because of tiredness. We lost an hour when the clocks went forwards, and…on top of that, I had a phone call in the middle of the night from a lady I help who had collapsed and was frightened. So I had to get up and venture out onto London streets on my own in the loneliest hour of the night to go and see how she was.
So yesterday….yesterday I sensed an emotional pressure building within. It is acutely linked to losing one of my dear friends last week. The pain has been there all week, but this horrid world means you have to just get on with the mundane tasks of work, commuting on crowded trains, staring at a computer screen….and although I know I was quiet, I could not break down in front of all my colleagues.
While I was working alongside Jack – who is still immersed with the relief work in Eastern Europe to help those who have had to flee their homes. Now, I love that Jack can speak so many languages, but with him yabbering away in Romanian, I could not concentrate. So I told him I was taking a break. I went into the kitchen to make a coffee and while waiting for the Nespresso machine to gargle my coffee into the patient cup I had placed below it, I flicked on the television. It just happened that the concluding scenes of one of my favourite romantic period dramas were right there on the screen. The last few scenes of “North And South” (the English version).
Those emotionally charged scenes, and the music, the haunting music, it pushed me over the edge. Jack came in to see me heaving with sobs.
I am so deeply sad to have lost my friend. My heart is aching. I know very well that I will see her again, but right now the pain is like a sharp sword. I hate that having so many other commitments meant I was unable to spend as much time with her as I would have liked. Perhaps I feel some guilt for that. I did visit…but not often enough. I wish I could have said no to other commitments to be with her more. Or am I being selfish? Did she need me when there were others who loved her to the core always by her side? It’s just so sad. Part of me wishes I had possessed the courage to say to my boss, “sorry working for money seems so irrelevant while my friend is so ill”. This oppressive commercial world….which just keeps trying to work out a way to suck more money, more time, more of our life away from us is really trying my patience.
We have our little break to the Lakes to look forward to next week, and catching up on sleep will help, I know it will. But grief is not something that can be magicked away – it rather irritates me when some imply that it can. Or the old corker – the claim that we should be rejoicing rather than mourning.
Still – I understand that people will voice cherished beliefs that are comforting them, sustaining them, so I ought to recognize their sincerity and the kindness of their heart that prompts them to make these comments.
Jim Adams, aka Newepicauthor, the creator of A Unique Title For Me, is hosting SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY and this week he has chosen the theme: MIND/THINK/BRAIN
Another fantastic theme for this week, with plenty of brilliant songs to choose from. So I have chosen the track that registers with me on a personal level.
It is a song about not giving up on a love even though there have been considerable challenges. Jack and I had more than our fair share of challenges. But….the ship, though damaged in destructive storms, refused to sink. Here we are…stronger than ever, we did not give up.
I think that even in those darkest years I knew something that was not changing, it was not changing, “I’m in love and always will be”.
The song was a big hit for Dido around the world, and won “Best British Single” at the 2004 Brit Awards. Well deserved. To me it is an enduring emotional song that I will always be fond of.
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, Or tell you that. But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it Where's the sense in that? I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder Or return to where we were But I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be I know I left too much mess and destruction To come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "it's over" Then I'm sure that that makes sense I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be And when we meet Which I'm sure we will All that was there Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on.... I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be Written by: Dido Armstrong and Rollo Armstrong
When I wrote Annabelle’s story, I was not worried about making her perfect, because the whole point of her voyage was that she was a mess, a beautiful mess, and was trying to repair some of the damage in her past before she could press forward with her future.
To begin with, I wrote from my own experiences, but over time, I drew inspiration from the stories and experiences of close friends. Annabelle emerged as a fictional character who embodied real life women, both myself and three of my closest friends.
I am so sad that one of my friends who is very much a part of Annabelle has recently passed away, and I am heart broken. I have been feeling quite lost and useless the past couple of days, but last night I stayed up really late going over the passages in my books which had parts inspired by my lovely friend. I felt that I had to urgently improve and perfect those parts of her story.
At the same time, I had to remind myself not to overdo it. Annabelle is fictional, but the real women behind her, none of us were perfect. We all faced challenges and had to voyage through storms. The whole point of Annabelle is that we LEARNT. The series became the LEARNERS AT LOVE series, because love was such a fundamental part of our journeys.
I know this might sound stupid…but that feeling of helplessness….that I could not protect my friend from illness and death….I suddenly felt as if I had to protect Annabelle, I had to wipe away anything that might make someone critical of her, judgmental of her. But loving someone with their weaknesses, their failings, their disappointments, their efforts, their struggles, their endurance, their courage, their victories – journeying, travelling, voyaging through life and in love with someone…I cannot take that away from Annabelle. She deserves all the authenticity that is the very real life inspiration that made her.
Jack needs to take a break. He has been working long hours for seven days a week for the past month. I mentioned I will have some time off work recently, and due to recent events, Jack had the excellent idea of a trip up to the Lake District to stay in the house he bought over eighteen months ago, within which he asked me to marry him.
We are taking a dear friend of ours, recently bereaved of his precious wife. It is a place the two of them had chance to visit together twice back in 2019 when they came to England, before the Pandemic, before illness, before this.
It is a place full of beauty and comparative peace. It is a place of rest….although a holiday with Jack is never really quiet. I will be nudging Jack if he is too loud for our friend.
In honour of our little flower who is fast asleep for now, I am adding a song about the Lake District by her favourite.
Just because the sun is setting in the western sky, it does not mean the journey is over. For dusk may leave it’s mark on us, but all is forgotten at dawn.
The moon will hang in the sky as a faithful reminder that this is not the end, and night will not rule forever. The mighty stars above will hold their breath until the sun rises again.
Darkness will give way to a joy. Your voyage will continue. This voyage of a lifetime does not end when the sun sets. You will wake sweet voyager. Have no fear, you will wake and there will be great rejoicing.
During the past few weeks, spring has been encroaching in all directions…and I love it of course! But several times during the past week, the beauty that greets me every time I unlock the huge goats that hide my little nest away from the rest of the world really took my breath away.
It is so incredibly pretty. Now the magnolias are out, and I am utterly charmed. It is a stunning time of year, and the garden outside my front door is pure paradise. An escape from London…an oasis to revive my spirits.
What would I do without spring?
I am publishing one of my older posts again for you because I don’t have the energy to write anything new just right now. I I hope you enjoy this post as much as I did.
I have been tagged for a “3.2.1 Quote Me!” Challenge on the topic: FOOD FOR THOUGHT, by Paula, the creator of Light Motifs II, as you can see from her great post below:
https://lightmotifs.wordpress.com/2019/10/23/3-2-1-quote-me-food/
As you may already know, “3.2.1 Quote Me!” Challenges originate with Rory, the creator of A Guy Called Bloke. This was his original FOOD FOR THOUGHT post:
https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2019/10/14/321-quote-me-food-for-thought-2/
Thank the Selector – THANK YOU PAULA!
Post 2 quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day.
Select 3 bloggers to take part in ‘3.2.1 Quote Me!’
Some of my friends have labelled me a “foodie”. I disagree, only because I don’t really take a massive interest in food. I am just very supportive to friends organizing parties and dinners. So I often help by making a dessert, or making hors d’oeuvres. I know what tastes yummy, so some of my friends say I must be a foodie.
But I rarely think about food itself. I am not creative, I am always faithful to recipes, because I have no confidence in myself to experiment. Plus, I am vegetarian with a dairy intolerance. So a lot of what I make is for other people to enjoy. And that is what I like about food – the pleasure it brings to other people.
I will admit to this – I watch hardly any television – but I love MasterChef and The Great British Bake-Off. But on my own, I eat very simply. When I am on my own, food is just fuel, I probably don’t take enough time to enjoy it properly. It’s only to bring pleasure to friends that makes me start cooking and baking with gusto. But I do have some foodie friends. They really do love food. They are fabulous friends – a lot of fun to spend time with. Oh and also…I think the majority of blogs I follow are foodie blogs – which explains why I always feel hungry when I am blogging.
Anyway,..here are my quotes!
I don’t need to explain this one do I? I don’t have anything against celery sticks. In the summer I munch on them. But obsessing about calories is not going to make you a happier person. And self-hatred, because you want to be the shape of a super-model, is no way to live.
Live life with gusto! Be active and energetic – that, in my experience, is one of the best ways to be able to enjoy a variety of food and stay balanced. It’s is often love for life that makes people more appealing and attractive. So live!!
Life is so good! But I wonder at times if some people are enjoying what makes life richest. Be with people, lovely people, enjoy singing and laughing together. Enjoy food together. If you are on a budget, it does not need to be complicated! When was the last time you went round to a friend’s house with a packet of biscuits?
Recently, I had a couple of friends come and cheer me up (when I a wooden roof had fallen on my nose and my face was bruised) and they brought cookies. It was so good to have their company for a little – I was feeling kind of sorry for myself I will admit!
Food is a wonderful gift – can you imagine how boring it would be without the astonishing variety of flavours and textures available? But the best thing about food as far as I am concerned is the chance to share it with other people. Moments like these – they make life special! We will never forget them. Enjoy your food, but most of all enjoy your life – with wonderful people.
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Caramel 