I really struggle with parting from people. Saying”goodbye” face to face is just too daunting for me. I bottle it. I am so much better with writing the words down – how I feel, how much they mean to me, and trying to make sure that they know I am not leaving because of them, I am leaving because of a challenge I cannot overcome, or because of an opportunity that I cannot turn down.
Like many other bloggers and writers, my love of writing began with letters to friends and relatives. In some ways, everything I write is a letter. I don’t always know who it is addressed to….but it is from the heart and I am hoping that whoever reads it will understand and relate to it, perhaps even treasure it.
I have some pretty cards….and I am going to write messages in them for some of my colleagues who I will miss immensely when I leave at the end of this week.
Can you believe how quickly this is all happening? Next week, I start my new job. Crazy hey!! It does not seem long ago when I was convinced that I had completely embarrassed myself during the interview process.
Now I am preparing by sorting out my wardrobe – no more uniform – and making sure I revise on the kind of work I will be doing in my new role.
But it is very important to me to write these goodbye messages. I would not be able to forgive myself if I did not do this.
You may have had hopes that this would be a relaxing Sunday morning. However, my song choice today is one of those tracks that is impossible to sit still to. I defy anyone who can hear this song without tapping their toes or flaying their arms around, or jumping up and imaging they are the sole performer on the dance floor.
The song is of course “What A Feeling” from the film “Flashdance”. At the end of this post I have added a trailer for the movie itself. The song topped the charts around the world and spent six weeks at the US Billboard Number One spot.
I know the Irene Cara song so well and have danced to it many many times….but you know, I have a terrible confession for you, I don’t think I have ever seen the movie. I am not great with films in general – I have been rather busy for the past twenty years, with my “free-time” coming in short 15-60 minute bursts. Other than The Sound Of Music, I have not scheduled time for film viewing. I have seen clips but I have never actually watched it. Jack is horrified about that….I sense a movie night is going to be scheduled.
First when there's nothing
But a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide
Deep inside your mind
All alone, I have cried
Silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel
Made of stone
Well, I hear the music
Close my eyes, feel the rhythm
Wrap around, take a hold of my heart
What a feeling
Being's believing
I can have it all
Now I'm dancing for my life
Take your passion
And make it happen
Pictures come alive
You can dance right through your life
Now I hear the music
Close my eyes, I am rhythm
In a flash, it takes hold of my heart
What a feeling, being's believing
I can have it all
Now I'm dancing for my life
Take your passion
And make it happen
Pictures come alive
Now I'm dancing through my life
What a feeling
What a feeling (I am music now)
Being's believing (I am rhythm now)
Pictures come alive
You can dance right through your life
What a feeling (I can really have it all)
What a feeling
(Pictures come alive when I call)
I can have it all (I can really have it all)
Have it all (pictures come alive when I call)
(Call, call ,call, call, what a feeling)
I can have it all (being's believing)
Being's believing (take your passion)
(Make it happen) Make it happen
(What a feeling) What a feeling
Written by: Keith Forsey, Giorgio Moroder, and Irene Cara
I deliberated over the title of this post. To be honest my thoughts were not clear when I began writing. I started off thinking about a Cyranny’s Quickie question…and then I was watching the news…and it was all so – what is that word that describes how you feel when you feel sick every time you watch the news?
Personally….I cannot get enough of love. There seems to be no limit to how wonderful life can be when love is abundant.
I am in an odd sort of place right now. If I use the term “limbo”, I think you may know what I mean. Its the sense of change in front of me.
Today I realized that two of my colleagues are not going to be around next week when it would have been my last opportunity to see them…which meant that today was “goodbye”….or as I prefer “see you later”. After all I only live a few minutes away. I will be popping by to say “hello”.
It’s a weird time. I am so fond of the team I have been working with for the past two and a half years. We have been through so much together – the Pandemic was no small challenge! We have supported and encouraged one another.
We are in a good place right now in many ways. Strong, well-trained team, with lovely qualities and a great team spirit. Now….at a good time…I am leaving…setting sail into the unknown.
Life…so often it feels like a voyage. Storms….calm waters….you are never really sure what is ahead. But it is ok….at this point….I am a well-seasoned, well-travelled voyager. I know there will be trials, tribulations ahead…..but I also know that there are joys on the horizon – real, real deep joys.
It’s that feeling of the unknown that is a little daunting!!
We have another directory ready for you. My faithful friend has been working away on compiling Spotify playlists for my SONG LYRIC SUNDAY choices over the past three and a half years. She has all sorts of other ideas to improve my site, and I am grateful to her.
So here we are with the music that helped us cope with 2020!
2020 SONG LYRIC SUNDAY – SPOTIFY PLAYLIST
(27th December 2020) ADELE – Someone Like You
(20th December 2020) BELINDA CARLISLE – Circle In The Sand
(13th December 2020) TAKE THAT – Do What You Like
(6th December 2020) GERRY & THE PACEMAKERS – It’s Happened To Me
(29th November 2020) EMELI SANDE – Free As A Bird
(22nd November 2020) SOPHIE B. HAWKINS – Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover
I cannot find any other post with this title on my WordPress site….which surprises me. It is a little phrase which has often run through my mind.
Isn’t it amazing….I mean, I still sometimes feel a shaky about what has happened between Jack and I.
When I started blogging back at the end of April 2018….Jack and I were estranged in the strictest sense of the word. We had not spoke to each other for years. We were both so hurt and confused and shell-shocked by all that had happened. We had no idea what to say to each other.
Then….by chance….by coincidence…we were on the same road. I saw him and hid. He saw me and became resolved that he had to get in touch with me.
A few weeks after that day…we were speaking to each other on the phone – admittedly an awkward conversation – and not long afterwards, we agreed to meet for the first time so we could talk properly – face to face.
So much was said on that first meeting…and so much was not said…because it was too painful. But it was a start. We met again. We met again – and it was that third face to face meeting that changed everything. Jack told me he had very strong feelings about me, and that he always had, but he had made a mess of it and he did not know what to do to fix it.
Oddly….oddly…it did not seem to matter that there was this gigantic complicated mess around us. All those years I just could not understand why, what it was all about, how it became so weird, where I was supposed to look when he looked at me..it was just so confusing. But when he told me how he felt me – oh it all sort of made sense.
A year later….a year later….we were engaged.
It is amazing to me….amazing….and I am so deeply grateful….so deeply deeply glad that the awful pain, the awful darkness and despair of being estranged from someone you genuinely adore but who seems to despise you….the loneliness and feeling of being lost at sea when I was separated from the career and world I had given my life and all my energy to.
It is amazing, isn’t it!!! What did I do to deserve such happiness?
I have received complaints from friends that my WordPress site is hard to navigate. Yes, yes, I know. It does become tricky to keep a site organized when you have thousands of individual posts to find a place for. Remaining organized takes time, and time is one thing I am very short of. So I am very grateful to a friend of mine who helped me set up a Spotify account for the 2021 BAKE OFF and has not taken on the mission of creating playlists for my SONG LYRIC SUNDAY choices over the past three and a half years.
There is a menu on my site with an option to view my SONG LYRIC SUNDAY choices. It is incomplete, but at least it is progress. Very slowly, I might be able to tame my maze-like site and make it easier to find posts that may be interesting. It feels rather like climbing a mountain though. Perhaps five or ten minutes here and there will add up and eventually, I will have a neat and tidy site.
My friend wants me to add more links to the individual posts which featured my song choices, but that will take a long time. You will see a few posts appearing…which will then become a link in the SONG LYRIC SUNDAY page on my site. I think that’s how it’s going to work. So I just wanted to warn you that these menu posts will be popping up.
This is the first….2019….remember back before the Pandemic ever began? It looks as if it was a brilliant year for music on SONG LYRIC SUNDAY!!
2019 SONG LYRIC SUNDAY – SPOTIFY PLAYLIST
(29th December 2019) BEYONCE – Crazy In Love
(29th December 2019) SOFIA KARLBERG – Crazy In Love
(29th December 2019) STARSHIP – Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now
So….the long and short of it is, that I only have two weeks remaining at work. I am currently trying to make sure I tie up any loose ends relating to patients and admin so that if someone else comes along they are not left wondering what on earth to do.
I realized this past week that I do some very random tasks at work, and trying to type up some helpful notes for whoever takes over those random tasks is actually proving trickier than I expected.
In particular, I have found it hard in areas where I have had to use a lot of initiative. How can I type in my notes….”when so and so says this to you, it is best to reply…” without that appearing rather cheeky. I have ended up with so many time consuming, annoying tasks, that were far from straight forward and required tenacity and resolve. One example of my favourite little turn arounds – when someone refuses a request I have made, I reply “I understand, but I will need you to explain that in writing to satisfy our inspectors”. You would not believe how cooperative that makes people.
I have been typing up notes on all the random tasks I have been shouldering for months, and my notes seem really crumby. They don’t really equip the next person to get the results I have been able to get by being a little bold at times. I am hoping that the next person will have or develop that gusto to make sure they do push to get the results they need.
In the meantime, I need to get back to work on these crumby notes, and make them as helpful as possible.
That is exactly what Don Maclean did in 1971 after he read a book about the famous artist. The song he wrote is beautiful and very moving.
Although I can only imagine that any song written in tribute to someone is likely to be moving. Writing a song about someone….you want it to be special surely. I am looking forward to seeing all the choices on today’s SONG LYRIC SUNDAY!!
Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land
Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now
Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand
Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now
For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life, as lovers often do
But I could've told you Vincent
This world was never meant for
One as beautiful as you
Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frame-less heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow
Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will
Written by: Don McLean
Well…..no….not really new hair, more of a trim really. But it is long overdue. I just thought now is the time to tidy up my long hair. I am actually going to a different salon, one than I have never been before (partly because the salons on the high street where I live are so ludicrously expensive) but that looked smart and a couple of friends have recommended.
I am suddenly realizing there are aspects of my work that will be different. I won’t have to wear so much PPE, I don’t think I will have to wear any at all actually. I won’t have to wear my hair up, I probably will clip it up, but I will be allowed to have my hair down. I will even be allowed to wear nail varnish in my new job!
These of course, are not the reasons I applied for this job, but it will be quite nice to have these little freedoms again. I am proud of being part of something very special, especially throughout the Pandemic, and I will miss my lovely colleagues, but I am ready for a change, and I am hoping that it does go smoothly.
Caramel 