Do you remember how I would kiss you on the cheek and ask you if you would like a drink?
I would return within a minute with a glass of apple and mango juice for you. I noticed you liked mango very early on. I always made sure I bought a bottle of some kind of fruit blend with mango and had it chilled waiting for you in the fridge.
Then I would head back to the kitchen and start to prepare breakfast for you. I remember the first day we had breakfast together. I remember exactly how you ordered your eggs even now over eighteen months later.
The first time I ever made your breakfast you were surprised and said I had made your favourite. Every thing you liked, everything you enjoyed, all of your preferences – I was absorbing it all. Treasuring it all within my heart.
I loved loving you. I still love loving you. What I find hard is that there are so many ways I would like to show love to you. I would love to go shopping and think about all the flavours you like. I would love to search through cookery books looking for recipes to excite you. I would love to cook your favourite dishes. I would love to wash and iron your shirts and even your handkerchiefs.
I think what is killing me…is that the only way I have to express my love for you now, is through words. I ration out the amount of times I say “I miss you” because I don’t want you to feel bad. I always try to have something cheery and fun to share, so that you think I am fine. And I am fine really. Except for intensely missing you. Only I feel I have to keep that to myself, because I don’t want to be a burden to you.
Sigh. Thank you for all these wonderful memories that warm my heart, brighten my day, and fill my eyes with tears. I love you.
A poignant post.
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Thanks Sade – thinking about my Goldfinch a lot this week 🙂
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I can imagine.
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The universal language of love!
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It’s funny, I loved noticing little things to surprise him with something later. Loving someone is so wonderful. Being able to find many ways to show that love feels so good 🙂
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That’s wonderful!
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This is heartwarming and lovely.
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Thank you – I loved being able to shower him with love – the long distance penpal relationship is not as satisfying.
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You’re welcome.
I feel for you. There’s nothing like being in their presence.
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Awesome!
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Loving is awesome 🙂
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You do an excellent job at capturing the feeling!
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Lovely memories.:)
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Very happy memories 🙂
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Love is beautiful. It’s so difficult to put it down on paper. You do it perfectly.
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Thank you, that is very kind. I find the feelings sometimes hard to describe without sounding as if I need to be sedated – lol! But for me love is manifest by actions. So thinking of all his preferences, cooking his favourite foods, baking cakes for him, little gifts that I know he will like – anything that shows I have been thinking of him and want to show him how I feel. I love the actions love spurs on – it feels so lovely to do things because you love someone 🙂
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So beautiful!
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I really miss having someone to love like that… sigh…
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I have no words to express how this touched me. To have someone to love in your life and to have been so loved, is truly special. At least we can say we have been lucky enough to have expeiereiced that kind of love and so many haven’t. I love how you spread the joy of love to others. This was beautiful.
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