I Will Never Ignore My Phone Again

I was going through my older posts, deciding which ones to republish and I saw this one (originally published on the 11th September 2019) and when I read it…well, all the memories came back!! Wow!!

phoneWhenever my phone rings, I feel nervous knots. I shouldn’t feel that way, but all the time people ring me asking me for favours. Will I go earlier, stay later, do extra, lend a hand, lend some money, change my plans? For the most part I am happy to do all of the above, but sometimes it gets a bit much. I start to not want to answer my phone any more.

In fact sometimes, I let the caller start to leave a message on the answer service, so that I can hear who it is and decide whether I can cope with answering. I know it’s naughty.

I noticed this morning that someone tried to ring my landline a few times, but didn’t leave a message. They hung up as soon as the answer service message began. So the next time the phone rang, I answered it straight away.

amazed.jpgI am still reeling after that phone call. A mix of shock and wonder and disbelief right now.  And relief and joy and amazement. You might be wondering what the call was about. Well, I am going to sit on it for the moment. I will wait and see what happens as a result of today’s telephone call.

However there is a part of me that wants to rush out and start setting off fireworks! Believe me there are fireworks going off inside my heart! I don’t think you will guess who called me! I already thought about baking some profiteroles and buying a bottle of champagne – is it sad that all I could think of to celebrate something so wonderful on my own was baking and drinking champagne?

I have been kind of “buzzing” all day. I went out on a sort of jog through the woods (I was scared to trip on the uneven path so I was going fairly slowly), but I found myself skipping when I thought nobody was looking. Later tonight I am going to treat myself to a bubble bath and shave my legs. I want to be in bed already. I am feeling a mix of elation, relief and the urge to cry bucket loads of tears right now.

Miracles happen. Maybe it’s too early to call it that. But what happened today was something I had given up hope of ever happening. And I was promised that today wouldn’t be a one-off. I have been promised another phone call within the next few days. I will have to wait and see.


Adventures Every Day

What is one television show or episode from your childhood

that you still remember today?

television watching.jpgI remember several shows from childhood. My childhood memories seem very sharp, unlike the memories from my twenties (since my head injuries). But one show comes to mind as one of our all time favourites. My brother watched it, and my two younger sisters and I loved it.

c of goldIt called The Mysterious Cities Of Gold. It was truly epic! It was about three children and a whole bunch of adults with their own self-interest at heart who are traipsing around South America in search for “The Cities Of Gold”. Adventures every day!!!

This is the theme tune, shown at the start of each episode, which I still sing thirty years after watching that show.

I don’t have the time today to tell you all about it, maybe I should try another post with more detail about it. There was so much going on. We learnt all sorts about the history of the Americas. We loved those three children.

If you are curious, then there is the link at the bottom of this post so you can read what Wikipedia has to say about the show. But the best way to enjoy it, is to go back to being seven years old and be riding around on your bike and then to realize is is almost time for your favourite show. Then come running into the house and lollop onto the sofa with your siblings all ready to sing along at the top of your voices to the theme tune and twirl around with your arms outstretched like a giant condor.

What a show!


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Please Don’t Turn To Me

comfort.pngI am not heartless. Of course I feel for you. Over and over. But what can I do except offer my heart-felt words? I am powerless. I truly am. There are many things I would love to do to make things better. I can’t do those things. All I can offer is sweet words and soft touches.

I know it sounds selfish to say “I have my own problems”, but I am a frequent visitor of two large London hospitals with acclaimed neurology units. My situation is precarious. If my situation was not precarious, I probably would not even be here, I probably would not have ever met you. I would be where I belong, leading a fast-paced life and never letting my feet touch the ground.

There are so many things I would be doing if my situation was not so precarious. I would not even be around to see you and hear about your trials. You would never hear from me. I would be far away and wrapped up in a host of other concerns.

I feel so powerless. I don’t know what else to offer except my heart-felt words. I can offer my words, I can be sure there will always be words straight from my heart for you. But I am concerned that you long for more.

I sometimes think you want a hug…but I don’t think that it is wise. If I let you cry on my shoulder and I put my arms around you and held you tight…maybe you would feel momentary relief. But wouldn’t that open the door to more pain and more confusion.

And I know it would not end with a hug. Where would it end? I think you know. And I think you know it would not be wise.

Our lives cannot enmesh. There are so many reasons why. And I can’t be your secret source of sweet comfort. I can’t do that. I don’t want to be hiding away in the night, just to be your consolation and to let you feel the closeness that you long for.

It’s too confusing. It’s too impractical. And I think once you had had your fill of laying in my arms and feeling safe and warm, you would start to resent me, because you would feel as guilty as I.

Let me be sweet and innocent in your eyes. Be satisfied with my words alone. Do not crave my feminine curves and warm embrace. Do not yearn for my fond caresses and honeyed kisses. Do not let your steps wander down this unrewarding path. It would not solve anything, It would be a moment of delight and a lifetime of regret. I would only be a burden. I don’t want to be that. I only ever wanted to be a bonus and a blessing.

Just because I have eyes thatPassion, Couple, Pair, Relationship make you melt, perfumed skin, and a warm embrace that you long to have wrapped around you – it does not mean I have what you need. I don’t have what you need my friend. I wish I did, but I do not. I would only be a temporary pleasure for you and then you would hate me because you had been so weak.

Please try to dismiss me from your mind. You don’t want to turn to me for comfort and consolation because the consequences will be bitter. I am sure they will be. Please don’t argue. They will be bitter and we will both be tormented that this happened.

The Best Elavator Music I Ever Heard!


Jim Adams, aka Newepicauthor, the creator of A Unique Title For Me, is hosting SONG-LYRIC-SUNDAY and this week he has chosen the theme: ELEVATOR MUSIC

Yes…well…I think we heard plenty of “The Boy (or Girl) From Ipanema” a few weeks ago, so I thought I would choose a song by a band, that were very popular here in the UK back in the nineties. I once heard a music critic describe their repertoire as “elevator music”, which is why they are my song choice today. Best elevator music I ever heard!

The Cardigans – oh how we adored them! They were a welcome change from some of the Britpop heavy guitar chords of the nineties. The Cardigans waltzed into the charts and we embraced them. This is perhaps one of their most famous tracks “Lovefool“, because it was used in a couple of big movies.

This song brings back so many memories!!! I hope you enjoy it!

Dear, I fear we’re facing a problem
You love me no longer, I know
And maybe there is nothing
That I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn’t bother
That I ought to stick to another man
A man that surely deserves me
But I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray, and I beg

Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Fool me, fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me, love me
Pretend that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me

So, I cry, and I beg for you to

Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me
I can’t care ’bout anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered
Spent my nights awake and I wondered
What I could have done in another way
To make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don’t care if you really care
As long as you don’t go

So I cry, and I pray, and I beg

Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Fool me, fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me, love me
Pretend that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me

So I cry, and I beg for you to

Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Leave me, leave me
Just say that you need me
I can’t care ’bout anything but you

Anything but you

Love me, love me
Say that you love me
Fool me, fool me
Go on and fool me
Love me, love me
I know that you need me
I can’t care ’bout anything but you

Written By: Peter Svensson and Nina Persson

My Relationship With Rain


I have come to appreciate the rain. I would mostly claim to love it, although I hate what it has done to some of my shoes!

UmbrellaGrowing up in England, I know a lot about rain. I have umbrellas a plenty – one in each bag that I use regularly. I also have a mini-umbrella hanging from my front door latch, so I can grab it on my way out if I am going somewhere without a bag (which is rare – I am almost always lugging numerous bags around with me).

The only thing I don’t really like about the rain is that it often means grey overcast skies. I like blue skies. I grew up in the north west of England and  for a long time everything seemed so very grey. Grey pre-fab housing estates. Grey pavements and roads. Grey school uniforms. Grey cloudy skies. Grey grey grey.

green england.jpgHowever, after my first holiday in a hotter country which was dry, and had orange sand everywhere and very little green and hardly any flowers. I came back to England and suddenly saw not grey, but green everywhere. I realized that for so long I had been seeing grey, but there was abundant green all year round. It took me a while to realize how gorgeous England is because of all the rain that comes our way.

azaleasI grew in appreciation for the rain and I started to realize that the more rain there was, the more lush was the summer. The more rain, the more beautiful and colourful the flowers. I love what the rain does to our gardens, to the parks, to the countryside. It certainly does make England extra pretty and very lush at times.

I remember reading an article about how many countries have to conserve water carefully. I feel bad admitting it, but hardly anyone thinks about conserving water in England (except during a rare hose-pipe ban) because there seems to be an abundance of it. Although, this is probably an area where Brits do need a bit more education.

wrong shoesThere are times when I have been all dressed up and on my way to a special event when the rain has of course been inconvenient. I have had had a few disasters.

There are times when my sister’s village in North Wales is cut off because both of the bridges either side of town are flooded. As children, we sometimes found that our route to school was flooded, with as much as six feet of water pooled in the underpass under the dual carriage way that separated us from school. That meant either walking along the roadside (which had no pavement) next to cars going at 70mph, or trying to go a longer way round and hope that other underpasses were not as badly flooded.

Of course when I am wearing appropriate footwear, puddles are a completely different matter!

Living in England, I am used to rain! I have not let the rain interfere with my plans too much. I am a walker. I have walked mile after mile in pouring rain – for fun! So long as I am wearing good waterproofs, the rain does not bother me at all. But it’s all about wearing the right gear.

When it rains, I often hear a certain tune start to race through my head. The ultimate homage to that feeling of a joyful heart, smitten with love, and how that makes you feel on the rainiest of days.


This post was in response to the writing prompt provided by Sarah Elizabeth Moore:


Love, Love Changes Everything

Two years ago…I was still completely estranged from Jack. Two years ago, I was excitedly counting down the weeks before my summer in Australia. Two years ago…my life seemed to be going in a different direction.

What changed? When Jack finally reached out to make peace and heal the hurt…he was so humble, and so genuine, and so prepared to listen. I still cringe a little over those difficult conversations we had in September/October 2019.

Yet there was so much love in Jack’s eyes. When I struggled to find the words to explain things, he would take my hand in his and he would wait for me. He wanted to understand.

Love….love changes everything!!! Love has been weaving bonds between Jack and I. It sense I am already becoming bound to Jack. I don’t want to imagine life without him.

Moon, Couple, Blue, Love, In Love, Valentine'S Day

Family Warmth

This is another post from the archives – way before the Pandemic. I had every intention of writing a post tonight but then a headache began to brew and I have decided I need to listen to my body and rest.

Here in England…and in Wales for most of this week, it has been unseasonably mild. Yay!!! We have been outdoors…in the mild air. That is very helpful when there are so many of us.

Now, more than ever, I am looking forward to spring and summer ahead! Although, I wonder will January and February bring shivery bitter cold weather?

I have no idea why I took two coats up north with me. I took a navy raincoat and a huge navy thick winter coat. I didn’t really need either, for it did not rain, neither was it cold! Oh well – I am not complaining. I think I preferred the mild weather whilst I have been standing around waiting for trains and traipsing through the woods with family.

Family days, family get-togethers, family fun – oh what a merry week I have had indeed! So many stories to tell. The Welsh part of the family are superb fun. Lots of children running round. Lots of dads and uncles who run around and make far more noise than the children. Lots of home cooking and home baking, games, very loud laughter and reminiscing, and talking about various travels. They have all travelled extensively as volunteers, so it is fascinating to hear stories and tales from their work.

The family who are scattered across Merseyside, Cheshire and Lancashire are also a lot of fun. But in a different way. It always feels like a cross between a Butlin’s entertainment evening and a fund-raising telephone night. That’s mainly due to my brother-in-law’s uncle. He is always the entertainments manager. Lots of shop-bought food and shop bought gateaux and trifle, lots of dancing and singing (usually in the form of karaoke), lots of games and pouring over old photograph albums reminiscing about how every one used to look and parties from the past.

A slightly different feel to the atmosphere, but still lots of family fun and games and laughter. In this mild weather…for some strange but adorable reason it was Calypso and Caribbean music that we ended up dancing to. All of us in a great conga procession weaving around the flower beds at midnight.

Oh families are fun! No presents, no decorations (we don’t waste money on fluff and glitter or what retailers tell us to buy) – just time with my wonderful family – I am so thankful for them! I did not think I would be dancing to “Hot Hot Hot” in December!




I Took The Plunge

You may (or may not) remember that a few months ago, I made the decision to change my “theme” after almost three years of blogging. I only did it for one reason really. I wanted a theme that allowed me to display my books, each with a link to Amazon.

I changed my theme, and I had some lovely feedback….only…..well, that theme was just not really doing it for me. I have been very short on free time in recent months. Work – both paid and unpaid – has been busy!!! I am spending time with Jack, staying in touch with friends and family. I have relied on republishing some of my older posts during the past few months.

But everytime I looked at my site, I just felt a little deflated. I did not connect with the theme I had switched to. I wanted to go back to the first one that was so blue with a little turquoise – and so uplifting to me. I wanted my blog to be my happy little place – a place I go to share my feelings and my joys, and occasionally discuss challenges and how I have tried to overcome them.

Well….after an hour of thinking about it one night in bed….I decided I needed to change the theme again. I needed to find a theme that would allow me to make my blog a happy place again. I asked a couple of bloggers who have gorgeous sites which themes they were using. I decided to go for it!! I decided to take the plunge into a new theme.

Last night I did exactly that….and now….I love looking at my site. I can see there is the potential to do so much more….and I will. I just need to find some time to play around with widgets and the like!

I want my blog to be a site I enjoy. 95% of the time I stay in the WP Reader. But when I do visit my site, I want to enjoy it…and of course, I want you to enjoy it too!!

A Safer Place Than I Had Ever Known

That was my summer of love. Wrapped up in your arms, my heart was spreading wings and soaring into the blue skies above. My hand nestled in yours trusting you wholly, as you led me through gardens of fragrant blooms. Embraced by you, I was in a safer place than I have ever known.

The scent of sweet roses will bring back thoughts of you. Memories that excite a joy that fills up my belly. I can breathe in that joy and fill my lungs with the aroma your left behind. Until summer comes, I bury my face in my pillow and can just about detect faint traces of you.

20180610_141033 (2)

There is no fragrance as sweet to me as you Goldfinch.