It’s all very exciting – planning for a wedding. Jack is very keen to discuss the kind of wedding we want (which I keep pointing out is something we may not have a free choice about because of social distancing restrictions). He is going away on Monday and will be with his parents, and his sister and her family all week (23rd-27th December three households are allowed to meet) whilst I head off to see my parents and some of my family.
Jack wants to tell his mum and sister about what we are planning for the wedding. He keeps asking me my preferences, what, where, who, how, when – I don’t think I am giving him enough. I keep saying, “I really don’t mind, I am just so happy, I don’t mind at all.” Although that is absolutely genuinely true, I know what I don’t want. I don’t want an Elvis impersonator to marry us. I don’t want an ostentations wedding. I don’t want to waste money on silly trivialities. I would like it to feel classy though.
I don’t really want photos of our wedding leaking out onto the internet, but I don’t want to make a big issue out of it. I don’t want to get married in a church with false idols and Babylonish symbols. I don’t want anyone to be drunk at our wedding reception.
So I know what I don’t want. But what do I want. Aaaaah – sigh – just Jack. I want Jack to be there. I would love my parents and Milly to be there. I would like Jack’s parents and his sister to be there. If we were to marry soon there would be a strict limit to the number we were allowed in attendance. But if we marry later, those restrictions may be limited. It would be much harder to choose a guest list then.
I don’t mind about a lot of things. I don’t have many thoughts on the kind of dress I want. I guess I want a dress that suits me, but that means trying on a bunch of dresses to find the right style. My hair – I will leave that to the experts. I have no clue what to do with my hair anymore. It is so long right now.
I just want to be with Jack – him and me versus the world now!