This has been an odd week for me. My pain was mounting over the weekend and eventually I had to up the ante with painkillers that are stronger than my normal poison. Tuesday and most of Wednesday are a daze to me, but Jack said he had some very strange conversations with me.
This is not what I wanted for this week. I had planned it the other way round. Rather than Jack having to take care of me, I had hoped to be making a fuss over him. Jack has been lovely this week. I felt safe. I felt safe with him being here.
One year ago Jack said something to me that changed everything. We’d only been talking for a couple of weeks (after four years of estrangement), but he wanted to tell me how he felt. Only he was struggling, mostly cautious because he had no idea what I was expecting. He did the kind of thing I would expect a teenager to do…but then Jack is a teenager trapped in a man’s body.
We were in his car…a familiar strum of guitar chords. I remember Jack trying to hold eye contact with me, but I was turning away and looking out of the window singing the words to myself. That’s when he reached for my hand…
“I don’t believe that anyone feels the way I do about you now”.
“There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don’t know how“
“Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me“
❤ Happy Anniversary Jack! ❤
Sorry I have been unconscious or doolally most of this week. I will make it up to you! I want to live forever by your side.
Caramel 